Atheist + Catholic

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:0a0df018-f39d-4422-8da3-7f992172af8f">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : I think I have a pretty good reason.
Posted by geographtea[/QUOTE]

You understand that in a convalidation ceremony you would be making the same promises you would make in a marriage ceremony, right?

And no, you do not have a pretty good reason.  The church does not bend to fit anyone so start getting used to that.

geographtea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:9d543f06-9c1e-4d4a-9d62-01840ae4d08a">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : You understand that in a convalidation ceremony you would be making the same promises you would make in a marriage ceremony, right? And no, you do not have a pretty good reason.  The church does not bend to fit anyone so start getting used to that.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

No I don't actually understand that because I really don't know anything about catholicism. 

daria24

Unfortunately you and your FI are on opposite sides of the spectrum, both with strict beliefs that don't have room for compromise. For me, as an atheist, there could be no mention of God. For a Catholic, there is ONLY getting married in the Church by a priest. Either you or your FI will have to violate your beliefs for the purpose of the ceremony. 

There's no such thing as a "Catholic-ish" ceremony. It's all or nothing. And there's no way I could start my marriage off by lying through my teeth. But I also couldn't force my Fi to get married against his beliefs either. 

JaxInBlue

Agree that even a convalidation - if you are allowed to have one (again, up to the diocese where you are married) - is not going to make things less religious.  You make the same promises to God, about religion, and about the role faith will play in your husband's and children's lives. 

DH and I had a convalidation after a civil service.  We were very lucky a priest understood why this was how things had to be for us.   But our convalidation ceremony still included prayer, a gospel and a homily, promises to live according to the church, raise children Catholic, etc.  It wasn't any less religious than a full wedding mass.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:7885bda9-9d55-4dbb-ae8b-0be0f81ccf85">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : No I don't actually understand that because I really don't know anything about catholicism. 
Posted by geographtea[/QUOTE]

You don't know anything about Catholocism even though in your OP you say you were raised Catholic?  Even if what you are now saying is true, why on earth are you arguing with Catholics who do undestand how the church works?  We aren't making this up.

geographtea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:bd53fb4f-b2e2-404f-9a12-5c3ff123ed74">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : You don't know anything about Catholocism even though in your OP you say you were raised Catholic?  Even if what you are now saying is true, why on earth are you arguing with Catholics who do undestand how the church works?  We aren't making this up.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

Yes, I was "raised" catholic. I went to church every Sunday. I cannot remeber a time in my life where I actually believed in god or jesus christ, so I never cared to listen.

geographtea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:b26398d6-31dc-4d39-8947-37f5d4068abf">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]Agree that even a convalidation - if you are allowed to have one (again, up to the diocese where you are married) - is not going to make things less religious.  You make the same promises to God, about religion, and about the role faith will play in your husband's and children's lives. <strong> DH and I had a convalidation after a civil service.  We were very lucky a priest understood why this was how things had to be for us.  </strong> But our convalidation ceremony still included prayer, a gospel and a homily, promises to live according to the church, raise children Catholic, etc.  It wasn't any less religious than a full wedding mass.
Posted by JaclyneD[/QUOTE]

Interesting, how did you manage to do that? I feel like a fair compromise would be to marry in a civil ceremony, but then later have a more private, close family only, religious ceremony. That would be ok with me, and I could make it through a more religious ceremony in that sense, but like I said I would want it to be pretty private.

Jager1219

OP I really think you and FI need to sit down with a priest to understand what having a Catholic ceremony means.  Since you don't know much about the religion and it's beliefs, you should understand what your FI intends to teach your kids.  I'm not saying you need to agree to it, but you should educate yourself.

JennaMichelle88

I'm in a similar (but not as extreme) situation. My FI was raised Catholic and still considers himself Catholic but only attends Mass when he is home and his mom makes him. I'm Agnostic and don't care if God is involved in the ceremony (it will make my family happy), but do not want a Catholic wedding. I didn't realize not having a legitimate Catholic wedding would prevent FI from receiving the sacraments. Interesting.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:0bd4952f-7dd6-4854-b203-7e3151a317e0">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : Yes, I was "raised" catholic. I went to church every Sunday. I cannot remeber a time in my life where I actually believed in god or jesus christ, so<strong> I never cared to listen.
</strong>Posted by geographtea[/QUOTE]

Again, then why are you arguing with people who did listen?  Even if we don't all agree with the Church, we still respected it enough to learn the rules.

I agree that you need to educate yourself on all of this because, as I said before, it can cause major issues down the road.

geographtea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:d008fb48-6d09-4269-9e59-492d3623d454">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm in a similar (but not as extreme) situation. My FI was raised Catholic and still considers himself Catholic but only attends Mass when he is home and his mom makes him. I'm Agnostic and don't care if God is involved in the ceremony (it will make my family happy), but do not want a Catholic wedding. I didn't realize not having a legitimate Catholic wedding would prevent FI from receiving the sacraments. Interesting.
Posted by JennaMichelle88[/QUOTE]

I really wish I didn't care, it sure would make my wedding easier.<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-frown.gif" border="0" alt="Frown" title="Frown" />

JaxInBlue

In our case, DH and I didn't not originally intend to have a Catholic wedding at all.  We are not regularly practicing, and have been church hopping since we moved even though we were both active in our family's home parishes.  We arranged a civil service and ask for help from family to plan a blessing after our wedding in order to pacify some family concerns.  DH's parish priest set everything in motion to have a convalidation and it was his advocacy and knowledge of our families' disparate relationship with the Church (let's just say my family has some issues, but that I'd rather not discuss them here) that supported our application.

It doesn't usually work this way.  From everything we've learned, we may not have been approved were it not for the priest's support from the beginning. 

geographtea

Just want to thank everyone for your input, as my fiance has looked over this message thread and with some discussion has realized that a catholic ceremony is not as important to him as he previously thought it was. We are still going to go speak with a priest, but if the things you've said are really true, he is 100% fine with not having a catholic marriage, and is even considering converting to a more understanding branch of christianity.  I'm so happy I could cry!

NYCMercedes

Yes! Things do work out! Good luck.

renegade gaucho

You have to request a convalidation ceremony, and just because you request one doesn't mean that it will be granted.  I have a Catholic friend who married a Baptist woman.  They had their big wedding ceremony in a nondenominational chapel, officiated by her minister, and then had a family-only Catholic convalidation the following day so the Catholic Church would recognize their marriage.  Their request was granted because they were both Christians who accept Christ as their savior; I'm not sure how the situation would be handled if one person doesn't believe in God at all and has a professed hate for religion. You'll have to talk to the priest and find out.  If the priest won't marry you, either in the big public ceremony or in a convalidation, you've got a tough decision to make.

It's kind of interesting that it's so important for your fiance to be married in the Catholic church, yet he doesn't appear to know all that much about his religion.  Is he actually a devout adherent of the faith, or does he attend church out of habit or obligation?  If it's the latter, he should rethink the Catholic ceremony and the two of you can look into other options that would better accommodate both of your needs.  Most other denominations have more relaxed rules about who can get married and under what circumstances and how the ceremony is to be conducted.  If you choose to get married in the Catholic Church, you have to accept the Church's terms.

I say this as a loud and proud atheist and someone who is not a fan of the Catholic Church: you're showing a profound lack of understanding about some very basic practices here.  The Church's parameters for recognizing marriages are not based on the narrow-mindedness of individual priests.  Different faiths have different rules.  You can think those rules are silly, but you can't expect someone in a religious leadership position, who has a duty to be a model of the faith and who would face serious professional and spiritual consequences for breaking the rules, to make an exception for you.

ETA: I was typing when you last posted.  I'm glad to hear that you and your fiance are communicating with each other and doing some soul-searching, and I hope you're able to come to a solution that you're both happy with.

maddynamite

I find it interesting that you were complaining about how someone would have to scrifice in your ceremony a few posts ago.

When it was you who would sacrifice, you seemed to be looking for any way to get out of having a ceremony that was special to your fiance (and I assume his family too).

Suddenly, when your fiance says he will sacrifice his beliefs, you're "so happy you could cry".

O_o

Are you sure he's 100% ok with this? Looking over an internet comment thread and making a decision so quickly seems...off to me.

geographtea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:f0bd8617-9df1-48ed-83aa-87556d1f8bcc">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]I find it interesting that you were complaining about how someone would have to scrifice in your ceremony a few posts ago. When it was you who would sacrifice, you seemed to be looking for any way to get out of having a ceremony that was special to your fiance (and I assume his family too). Suddenly, when your fiance says he will sacrifice his beliefs, you're "so happy you could cry". O_o Are you sure he's 100% ok with this? Looking over an internet comment thread and making a decision so quickly seems...off to me.
Posted by maddynamite[/QUOTE]

1. Maybe he wasn't as strong in his faith as I thought?
2. We are still going to go speak with a priest, it isn't already out the door.
3. I'm just happy he is being understanding
4. I'm sick of being judged nonstop and I am done with this forum, so goodbye

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:8a8b7667-453e-4605-b0ce-1d8f982946dc">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]Just want to thank everyone for your input, as my fiance has looked over this message thread and with some discussion has realized that a catholic ceremony is not as important to him as he previously thought it was. We are still going to go speak with a priest, but if the things you've said are really true, he is 100% fine with not having a catholic marriage, and is even considering converting to a more understanding branch of christianity.  I'm so happy I could cry!
Posted by geographtea[/QUOTE]

Good, that's what you should do. Talk to a priest. Talk to each other. Think. Make a decision together that is right for both of you.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:f0bd8617-9df1-48ed-83aa-87556d1f8bcc">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]I find it interesting that you were complaining about how someone would have to scrifice in your ceremony a few posts ago. When it was you who would sacrifice, you seemed to be looking for any way to get out of having a ceremony that was special to your fiance (and I assume his family too). Suddenly, when your fiance says he will sacrifice his beliefs, you're "so happy you could cry". O_o Are you sure he's 100% ok with this? Looking over an internet comment thread and making a decision so quickly seems...off to me.
Posted by maddynamite[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree. It all seemed to work out and get tied up with a nice little bow rather quickly. I don't buy it. </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

maddynamite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:87d9d36f-4e9a-44e9-b081-7e7bb2d943d8">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : I agree. It all seemed to work out and get tied up with a nice little bow rather quickly. I don't buy it. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

That's exactly what I was trying to say. Just seems too..."perfect".

My fiance and I had a much longer discussion about what freakin colors we wanted lol.

geographtea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:35115931-d2aa-4dee-b929-4172c3fc3bd5">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : That's exactly what I was trying to say. Just seems too..."perfect". My fiance and I had a much longer discussion about what freakin colors we wanted lol.
Posted by maddynamite[/QUOTE]

Ok that's fine. I really don't care if anyone believes me or not.

Jager1219

OP - I don't think anyone on this or the Catholic board judged you and your beliefs.  You asked for the rules which we tried to explain to the best of our knowledge.  I referred you to the Catholic board because they would know more than I would personally.  They also explained the rules to you.  To many people (including myself) it seemes like you just want to get your way and magically make this problem disappear.  All we've done is tell you that it's not likely to happen quickly and that there are larger issues at play.  On both boards, we've told you to talk to a priest as that is the BEST person to speak with about this.

No one dissrespected you or your beliefs.  We've simply explained the rules & actually didn't even lose our tempers when you threw a hissy fit over not getting your way and tried to find rules & loopholes that better suited your needs.  None of this is fixing your fundemental problem.  If you read these boards, you will find that many people come on here with bad ideas and just want us to validate them.  You will find that in those situations, they don't get what they're looking for.

geographtea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:ca883f5d-8010-428a-8a97-1fcf7f2b687e">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : Good, that's what you should do. Talk to a priest. Talk to each other. Think. Make a decision together that is right for both of you.
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

Thanks. If this forum has done one good thing for me, it's made me realize that the best thing for us to do is talk to a priest about this, which is what we will do.

geographtea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:aec31c7b-e30c-4104-8124-7b688b433b59">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]OP - I don't think anyone on this or the Catholic board judged you and your beliefs.  You asked for the rules which we tried to explain to the best of our knowledge.  I referred you to the Catholic board because they would know more than I would personally.  They also explained the rules to you.  To many people (including myself) it seemes like you just want to get your way and magically make this problem disappear.  All we've done is tell you that it's not likely to happen quickly and that there are larger issues at play.  On both boards, we've told you to talk to a priest as that is the BEST person to speak with about this. No one dissrespected you or your beliefs.  We've simply explained the rules & actually didn't even lose our tempers when you threw a hissy fit over not getting your way and tried to find rules & loopholes that better suited your needs.  None of this is fixing your fundemental problem.  If you read these boards, you will find that many people come on here with bad ideas and just want us to validate them.  You will find that in those situations, they don't get what they're looking for.
Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

Guess I made a HUGE mistake.

maddynamite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:f1ae1e5a-a162-4b96-b004-e97d8a1bc3dc">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : Guess I made a HUGE mistake.
Posted by geographtea[/QUOTE]

Would you walk into a pizza place and ask for tacos?

You need to understand that there are rules in religion. I am not religious, but I know you can't go to a Catholic priest and ask for a marriage to be recognized, in a Catholic church, with ABSOLUTELY no mention of God.

Please do talk to your fiance some more, and the priest that you were thinking of asking to perform the ceremony. Don't expect them to give you exactly what you want.

vanityink

After reading both this thread and the one on the Catholic board, I do agree with the last poster that it sounds like you have been "attacked" for your beliefs before. That is not what anyone seems to be doing here, even though it is obvious that is how you are feeling/reacting to the information. I just feel the need to further express that, if anything, people have tried to be very understanding to how you feel. It's perfectly fine being atheist. Feeling like an entire religion has it out for you just because you don't want to follow their rules in their ceremony is a gross over reaction. You wouldn't want someone to force their beliefs on you going about your day to day life. You can't force your beliefs on a part of their life that is very sacred to them. It's one in the same.

That said, if your FI really doesn't care about being Catholic (which you should definitely talk about more, seems like a total 180...) yes, there are some churches that are more fast and loose with their ceremonies (as I said, the UCC church lets you do basically whatever you want for your ceremony, including having it anywhere you want. Unitarians and Nondenominational Christian churches likewise don't have a lot of ceremony you have to follow in their ceremonies for the most part). It's a big flop though to go from identifying as Catholic to identifying as "some generic Christian religion that lets us get married as we want to right now" I completely agree your FI should talk to a priest, both with and without you, and have a discussion about what his faith really means to him. Maybe he's really just more a "I believe in God, any God is good, I was just raised Catholic" person. There are plenty of those out there. But if he is firmly involved in his Catholic beliefs, agreeing to marry entirely outside the Church likely would be for him like marrying inside it is for you.

To reiterate, you aren't being attacked here. People are just trying to get it across that there is a HUGE divide here that you probably will have to talk about further. Trying to find some middle ground in a truly Catholic ceremony is going to be neigh impossible, no matter how much you want to change things.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:94293b11-0e8c-4969-8c53-480f16456d60">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, seriously, I don't buy for ONE SECOND that you guys have no issues stemming from this.  It sounds like you have no issues because you've been ignoring it, not because you've already worked it all out. <strong> I'm in an interfaith relationship where we both DO believe in God, we just have some differences in opinions on the details</strong>and we've had plenty of challenges that we've had to work out. The fact that you blatantly call your FI's belief system "closed minded" and "judgemental" and cannot even imagine being able to make it through a ceremony in his faith without rolling your eyes like a pissy teenager tells me that YOU have little to no respect for HIS beliefs at the very least. You guys definitely need to talk about this in more depth.  There is nothing wrong with Atheism and I have yet to see anyone say that there is, but this won't be the last time you have to "grin and bear it" for the Catholic church.  Baptisms, Confirmations, Funerals, etc are all ceremonies that you will be likely attending in the future.  If you think so poorly of your FI's beliefs, how can you be okay with marrying him?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

No kidding.  My Greek Orthodox DH and I discussed for months if we would be married in the Greek Orthodox church, the Catholic church or neither.  And the GO church and Catholic church are very similar (at one time they were the same church) so it's not like there were any serious theological differences.

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:27902ff1-e153-46c9-8122-64f70add8c31">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : Challenge accepted.
Posted by geographtea[/QUOTE]


These aren't challenges, these are facts about the faith that your FI ascribes to.  This kind of attitude towards one of the rules of the faith is just as senseless and potentially annoying as telling a scientist 'challenge accepted' when they give you a fact about evolution. 

Catholics only marry within their churches, with the permission of the priest there.  Period.  Another fact is that only Catholics can marry in Catholic churches.  Period.  My father had to convert to Catholicism in order to marry my mother in her family's church.  That's how it works.

You don't have to be religious to respect someone's religious tenements.  I'm completely agnostic, but completely respect the rules and traditions of faiths I don't ascribe to. 

Now, that doesn't mean that you can't go marry your FI in a non-secular ceremony outside of the church, and collect all of the benefits of being legally married.  It just means that in the eyes of the Catholic church, you aren't married and are living in sin.  This could be a serious problem for your FI when it comes to sacraments.

Chloeagh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:a5311746-d1a5-4639-bb6b-afe4c6c4a539">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : These aren't challenges, these are facts about the faith that your FI ascribes to.  This kind of attitude towards one of the rules of the faith is just as senseless and potentially annoying as telling a scientist 'challenge accepted' when they give you a fact about evolution.  Catholics only marry within their churches, with the permission of the priest there.  Period.  <strong>Another fact is that only Catholics can marry in Catholic churches.  Period.</strong>  My father had to convert to Catholicism in order to marry my mother in her family's church.  That's how it works. You don't have to be religious to respect someone's religious tenements.  I'm completely agnostic, but completely respect the rules and traditions of faiths I don't ascribe to.  Now, that doesn't mean that you can't go marry your FI in a non-secular ceremony outside of the church, and collect all of the benefits of being legally married.  It just means that in the eyes of the Catholic church, you aren't married and are living in sin.  This could be a serious problem for your FI when it comes to sacraments.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]
This actually is not true. Only one of the parties needs to be Catholic. I am choosing to go through RCIA before my wedding, but if I didn't, FI and I would still be able to get married in the Catholic Church. The couple must obtain dispensation from the bishop if one member is not Catholic, but from what I've read this is usually not an issue.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_atheist-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:49944cb1-7ae7-43bc-9167-2891dca3f60cPost:a5311746-d1a5-4639-bb6b-afe4c6c4a539">Re: Atheist + Catholic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheist + Catholic : These aren't challenges, these are facts about the faith that your FI ascribes to.  This kind of attitude towards one of the rules of the faith is just as senseless and potentially annoying as telling a scientist 'challenge accepted' when they give you a fact about evolution.  Catholics only marry within their churches, with the permission of the priest there.  Period.  <strong>Another fact is that only Catholics can marry in Catholic churches.</strong>  Period.  My father had to convert to Catholicism in order to marry my mother in her family's church.  That's how it works. You don't have to be religious to respect someone's religious tenements.  I'm completely agnostic, but completely respect the rules and traditions of faiths I don't ascribe to.  Now, that doesn't mean that you can't go marry your FI in a non-secular ceremony outside of the church, and collect all of the benefits of being legally married.  It just means that in the eyes of the Catholic church, you aren't married and are living in sin.  This could be a serious problem for your FI when it comes to sacraments.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

Not true.  Only one party has to be Catholic.  If what you are saying were true only one of a dozen plus cousins of mine would have been able to marry in the Church.