So I started running about four weeks ago, for the first time in a year and a half. I'm training for a half, and I ran a race last weekend (4 miles, on a mountain, in 14 degree weather). I even age placed!
But then I stepped on the scale this week and I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life. For two days in a row.
Listen, I'm not fat. I'm 5'3" and for most of my adult life I have weighed between 115-120, which went up to 120-125 after I got into professional school. I weighed 128. This may not seem like a big deal- unless it's you. I don't have the healthiest eating habits on the planet (if there is something sweet in my house or at my work place, I will eat it like the Cookie Monster). I guess I am just demoralized by the fact that I am running 3x/week (with the intention to run, not to lose weight) and I am GAINING weight.
I am sure these blahs will go away. I've had some body insecurity issues before. I've never "loved my body" but it's always, you know, been me. Maybe I'm just getting old and realizing I can't eat two slices of cake in a normal day and expect to be healthy. BUT I FUCKING LOVE CAKE. And I stress eat. And I have a hella stressful job, so I just.... Basically... Snack all day. And then clients bring us cupcakes. And I eat like, three.
Now I'm just afraid I'm going to start running slow because I'm gaining weight. *sad*