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Bachelorette Party Drama

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Re: Bachelorette Party Drama

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    I am not saying you are wrong.  But if you are wanting to plan a party that involves people shelling out money for a hotel stay and transportation (pretty much anything on top of food and drink for themselves) then you need to consult those invited.  She could have said, "hey I was thinking this and this and it would cost $X per person.  What do you think?"  But that doesn't sound like that is what she did.  It sounds like she planned something and then basically said "hey you need to pay $X."  Then she got pissed because people pushed back or said they didn't want to come because they couldn't afford it.  This is why consulting people about their budgets is super important.  She would have saved herself a lot of time and energy if she just did that first.  There is no harm saying to the VIP guests "hey what is your budget for the bach party?  I don't want to start brainstorming ideas until I know what everyone is willing to spend."

    If you want to host a party yourself that is fine, but then you need to take on those costs (above and beyond food and drink) on yourself.  It seems like more then just the bridal party is being invited so the fact that the MOH is expecting the bridal party to pay for the hotel and transportation for more then just themselves without really getting any input from them is just not right.
    There is nobody other than those in the bridal party (6 altogether) invited to the bach party.

    I told my MOH what you all had suggested. She told me there's only one person who is offering any suggestions, and that is to go to dinner, then bars, then stay at her tiny apartment, all in the town we go to college (I currently live about an hour and a half away for student teaching). She said nobody is responding (whether in favor or not).

    Even when she did say "what's everyone willing to do", that was the only response she got.
    Then why the need for invitations?  I mean it seems that everyone already knows about it and the costs involved so why is your MOH going to send invites?

    If no one wants to do what the MOH has planned then there are only two options.  Scrap the entire thing and have no bach party or you and your MOH do as she has planned.  The other BMs are free to plan another night out that is more to their liking/budgets.
    Not sure why the invitations were necessary. I think she was just excited and wanted to do everything she could. That's all her, not me.
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    KatWAG said:
    KatWAG said:
    That is not a good thing. And certainly doesnt warrant an exclamation point.
    It was a situation that I handled how it needed to be handled, and has nothing to do with this post.
    Ha. What a joke. It is a perfect example of what kind of a friend you are.
    1. Since you were there, what do you suggest I should have done?
    2. WHAT DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY ORIGINAL POST.
    1. I would suggest you not kick your friend to the curb. Its pretty simple. 
    2. You chose to put all this information on the internet. So I will comment on it however I want to. Its kind of how an internet forum works. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Maybe if you replace MOH 2.0 MOH 3.0 will plan a party everyone want to go to!

     

    Go ahead and line up a MOH 4.0 juuust in case #3 doesn't meet your expectations.

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     fka dallasbetch 


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    Maybe if you replace MOH 2.0 MOH 3.0 will plan a party everyone want to go to!

     

    Go ahead and line up a MOH 4.0 juuust in case #3 doesn't meet your expectations.
    Really she should just give her a contract with all of her expectations of a MOH and sign a contract about her responsibilities and that she has to drop everything in her life because FRIEND'S WEDDING. Duh, this is what I'm going to do. Solves all the problems.
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    I do want to throw in there that, while 2 full days is a lot of hanging out with the girls, I did like the one night in a hotel for/after the bach. Karaoke, bars in the city, then crash at the hotel instead of driving home at all hours? More expensive than I would have loved, but I had a fantastic time (as MOH and co-planner).

    That said, we all woke up, ate breakfast, fell back asleep, woke up and went home. Now THAT is my kind of day!
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    Why is there lingerie?  Is this for wearing to the "naughty" event, or as a gift to you?



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    Viczaesar said:

    Why is there lingerie?  Is this for wearing to the "naughty" event, or as a gift to you?

    Oh god. I don't know what's worse

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     fka dallasbetch 


    image


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    Viczaesar said:
    Why is there lingerie?  Is this for wearing to the "naughty" event, or as a gift to you?
    No idea - I'm not planning it?
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    This is going to be a little bit of a rant/looking for advice. I know I'm not technically supposed to know about any of this, but I feel horrible about the way my MOH is being treated by my other BMs (on top of all the other crap life is handing her). I don't blame her for coming to me, especially since she only knows 1 out of the 5 other ladies in the bridal party.
    Do the other 4 BMs know each other well?
    Maybe there's no traction here because none of these girls are excited about spending a weekend with a bunch of strangers?
    And in that same respect, they are nervous about putting forth new ideas because they don't really know their audience (example: the girls who don't drink might not realize that alcohol isn't a b-party-must and would be wary offering sober suggestions).

    IF this is the case, there's not much your MOH can do about it (as forcing any kind of "get-to-know" everyone thing isn't a great idea). You could tell her that you're perfectly fine with a BM only shower OR if she wanted to invite more of your mutual friends (assuming they are invited to the wedding), you're fine with that too. Assuming she doesn't expect any of them to help plan, there's a chance they could still bring more input and fun into the mix.

    The ladies here have given good suggestions. But don't be toooo disheartened if a b-party with all 6 bridesmaids doesn't get off the ground. Even if it's just you, your MOH and the BM she knows, with a glass of wine, it will be really nice.
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    Viczaesar said:
    Why is there lingerie?  Is this for wearing to the "naughty" event, or as a gift to you?
    No idea - I'm not planning it?
    If they haven't asked you what size you wear, I'm going to have to go with wearing to the naughty event.  Oy vey.



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    edited January 2015

    When you see her, just tell her, "I'm not sure what you have planned for my bachlorette party but just so you know, it doesn't have to be anything big. I'm happy with a nice girls night in." This way it may take off some of the stress from her to plan a whole weekend thing & it may make the other girls happy because then she can plan something less expensive. I told my girls that (i didn't want them to spend a lot of money) so they planned a girls night in & they each made snacks to share & everyone who came was asked to bring a bottle of their favorite wine to share & we had a casual wine tasting while watching Magic Mike. It was a fun night just hanging out with the girls. And for me it worked out great because I ended up coming down with a really bad cold and fever that night so it was good the party ended at a fairily early time. I spent the next  1 1/2 weeks before my wedding so sick.

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