Wedding and Reception in the Same Place/No Heat

STARMOON44

I love the suggestion of a heated tent next to the chapel. I'm used to old churches being drafty, so a short starting on time ceremony wouldn't bother me, especially if I just got to walk outside to a warm tent after. But no possibility of heat would mean needing to move this whole thing to summer.

For a no-booze cocktail hour I'd maybe do oysters, mini lobster rolls, popovers, other Maine-y things, sparkling cider, a blueberry punch, soda, iced tea, maybe a warm spiced apple cider. I think you could have a really lovely wedding at this venue you just need to start focusing on how you can make it comfortable for your guests, not what you can expect them to put up with.

snarkymaid

lilacck28 said:

FYI: My soon to be cousin got married in Vermont in early September. IT WAS VERY COLD. She had heaters for her tent! and after the rehearsal dinner, she had them turn them up... because it was too cold!

This - my best friend got married in August in Vermont. Two days before the wedding, it was 45 degrees when we went for a run. Don't mess with northern New England weather! 

PrettyGirlLost

dvdplayer said:

We definitely want to get married in this chapel as both of us love it so much and my family is very familiar with it as it's at the camp where I grew up. I spent 7 summers there.  The groom actually chose this one over another one that is heated. It's where my mother and paternal uncle went.  In fact, my paternal uncle introduced my parents and my mom and uncle met at the camp in high school.

To those lurking, and to the OP if she is still following this thread, I just want to point out that your guests aren't going to care one iota about the bolded.

That's all well and nice and sweet and sentimental for the bride and groom, but the venue is not going to be sentimental to their guests.  All their guests are going to really care about is the fact that theirloved ones are getting married and they are witnessing it, and whether or not they as guests are properly hosted.

If the venue has no heat in autumn, that's not properly hosting.

lilacck28

snarkymaid said:

lilacck28 said:

FYI: My soon to be cousin got married in Vermont in early September. IT WAS VERY COLD. She had heaters for her tent! and after the rehearsal dinner, she had them turn them up... because it was too cold!

This - my best friend got married in August in Vermont. Two days before the wedding, it was 45 degrees when we went for a run. Don't mess with northern New England weather! 

Yeah, they even warned ppl on their enclosure card "it's new england! It gets cold at night, you might want to bring a sweater." (against etiquette? or polite?). Lots of people didn't really believe them though/ didn't pay attention. Since I was very familiar with northern New England, I wore a sweater and tights, and I still got a little chilly every once in a while.

KatWAG

dvdplayer said:

Wow! People on here so rude and catty!

-----

 

Hilarious considering this is coming from the same bride who didnt want an 8 year old to be a flower girl because she was too tall.

 

@dvdplayer you need to very seriously re- evaluate your priorities.

MGP

STARMOON44 said:

you just need to start focusing on how you can make it comfortable for your guests, not what you can expect them to put up with.

This 1000%. It's Hosting 101. Your priorities need to be taking care of your guests needs and making them feel welcome and special, not assuming people will be fine with being uncomfortable and doing the bare minimum of what you can get away with.

The brides who put their wedding vision first are the biggest offenders of this.

ohannabelle

You can rent great big powerful space heaters for anywhere from 25 to 75 a day, easily available everywhere. Construction crews rent these things all the time to make sure their plaster or paint or whatever is drying at the right temperature. It isn't a huge expensive deal.  If you really can't squeeze 50 out of a budget, or save up 50 during the planning process, there are very serious budgeting problems afoot. 

speakeasy14

Well for starters, you shouldn't be planning a wedding if you're not engaged.  It isn't clear from your posts if you consider yourself engaged or not because sometimes you refer to your significant other as boyfriend, other times as groom.  

But, if you and your significant other do consider yourselves engaged, then you need to put your guests comfort first.  

Also, there is a reason it is suggested that newbies lurk for awhile before posting.  No one was rude to you, or has been in any of the posts you have created this week.  You joined on Sunday, and have already started 14 discussions, with majority of the responses being you need to put your guests comfort over your vision.  

*ETA --- "My groom and I (who aren't actually engaged yet but have started planning)"  You do not consider yourself engaged, and therefore should not be planning a wedding. 

fwtx5815

speakeasy14 said:

Well for starters, you shouldn't be planning a wedding if you're not engaged.  It isn't clear from your posts if you consider yourself engaged or not because sometimes you refer to your significant other as boyfriend, other times as groom.  

But, if you and your significant other do consider yourselves engaged, then you need to put your guests comfort first.  

Also, there is a reason it is suggested that newbies lurk for awhile before posting.  No one was rude to you, or has been in any of the posts you have created this week.  You joined on Sunday, and have already started 14 discussions, with majority of the responses being you need to put your guests comfort over your vision.  

*ETA --- "My groom and I (who aren't actually engaged yet but have started planning)"  You do not consider yourself engaged, and therefore should not be planning a wedding. 

I was wondering about this too! I saw her comment on a NEY thread about her "non-traditional relationship status" where she listed their tumultuous dating history with this guy and then said that she wears a promise ring and tells people they'll be getting married soon, THEN WENT INTO ALL CAPS SAYING SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING.

Uhhh ok lady. 

JoanE2012

KatWAG said:

dvdplayer said:

Wow! People on here so rude and catty!

-----

 

Hilarious considering this is coming from the same bride who didnt want an 8 year old to be a flower girl because she was too tall.

 

@dvdplayer you need to very seriously re- evaluate your priorities.

Wait, what?!!! Perhaps an unheated chapel won't matter if everyone declines because of the overall rudeness of the entire wedding.

redoryx

I attended a Christmas morning service at Westminster Abbey. That is the only time I will ever be okay bundling up to sit in an unheated chapel. You need to provide heat for your guests or accept that many may leave early after realizing you failed to provide this very basic amenity. I am a freeze baby so it doesn't matter what YOU find acceptable temp wise, you have to consider the comfort of your guests.

MollyandD

PrettyGirlLost said:

Have you ever seen the old ladies walking around in the summer with sweaters on? Even though it's 70 or 80 outside? Yeah, that's pretty warm to me but obviously cold for those ladies. My point is that what you deem cold vs cool is irrelevant. You are getting married in the fall in a northern state. . .in a venue with no heat. You need to rent heaters or change venues. As a guest I would not expect to be spending multiple hours at an indoor venue without heat, and I certainly wouldn't sit around in 50 degree or less Temps for very long at all. My lab thermostat reads 72 and I'm freezing. . .my hands and nose are always cold to the touch.

-------------------lost the box------------------------------------------------------

I'm like this too. I keep my thermostat at home set to 75 usually, when I'm awake. Even then, I'm sometimes cold. If I went to a wedding that had no heat in cold weather, I'd have to wear my heavy coat the whole time, which is not very comfortable. I'm also likely to have a drippy nose and feet and hands that are freezing. Not many people know that about me, because it doesn't come up in conversations often. You can't assume everyone you know is ok with the cold. 

KatWAG

JoanE2012 said:

KatWAG said:

dvdplayer said:

Wow! People on here so rude and catty!

-----

 

Hilarious considering this is coming from the same bride who didnt want an 8 year old to be a flower girl because she was too tall.

 

@dvdplayer you need to very seriously re- evaluate your priorities.

Wait, what?!!! Perhaps an unheated chapel won't matter if everyone declines because of the overall rudeness of the entire wedding.

@joanE2012 that little gem can be found on WP "not little girls"

[Deleted User]

Knottie74992899

Yes, you need to provide something for your guests if you are going off to take photos.  Sneaking alcohol into a church is disrespectful.  Maybe a church is not the place for your wedding.  Maybe a venue would be better.

lilacck28

Knottie74992899 said:

Yes, you need to provide something for your guests if you are going off to take photos.  Sneaking alcohol into a church is disrespectful.  Maybe a church is not the place for your wedding.  Maybe a venue would be better.

Sneaking alcohol into any wedding ceremony is disrespectful, regardless of location (church, temple, mosque, event hall, restaurant, park.... )

 (unless for some reason the bride and groom request constant drinking?? In which case its not "sneaking", just very odd.) 

DaniBites

dvdplayer said:

I'm done with this site. 

MandyMost

ohannabelle said:

You can rent great big powerful space heaters for anywhere from 25 to 75 a day, easily available everywhere. Construction crews rent these things all the time to make sure their plaster or paint or whatever is drying at the right temperature. It isn't a huge expensive deal.  If you really can't squeeze 50 out of a budget, or save up 50 during the planning process, there are very serious budgeting problems afoot. 

The problem with heaters is likely an electricity issue. They take a lot of electricity, and if the church can't handle that, then they won't be allowed. I suppose you could also rent a big generator to provide the electricity. However, perhaps the church won't allow any heaters at all as a fire hazard. In that case, you need to pick another location or another time of year.

My venue wasn't air conditioned (it's a super green building, and the cooling was all based on air flow and stuff). We were aiming for a wedding in October, but were given the option of early September or early November, due to availability. We went for November, because I did not want to risk a hot day in early September, where it easily could have been hot. 

maeday2

My grandmother lives in Louisiana, almost to the gulf. Hot and humid is the name of the weather game. 

She - I shit you not - keeps her house on 80 degrees. The heat is bumping on full blast even in the summer. 

So yes, cold is relative. But think about your older guests. I could maybe throw a pashmina on and tolerate a chilly church. Granny Maeday could not. 

Casadena

dvdplayer said:

I understand.  Maybe I should just try to get he chapel in September when it's not COLD.  If I can't get it then, use the heated chapel.   It may be cool, but not cold.  They may need a sweater over their dress, but not bundle up. 

I am not sure how I feel about "a first look" but at the same time it could be wonderful.  I know my man will blubber (he's sensitive) and he might appreciate not doing that in front of everyone. 

I really wish we would have done a first look!!!!  My DH did not want to see me before the actual wedding and was very set on that. Looking back, I wish we would have had a little time alone together before the craziness.

 I don't have any different advice from the PP's about the chapel.