Okay so I just made a little website for our wedding basically with just a way to tell out of town guests (we have a lot of out of towners) what the local accommodations are and what local activities are in the area if they're staying for awhile. Very simple- very minimal.
Out of curiosity- I was looking online at other wedding websites an was BLOWN away by some of the things people write on them. I'm not as hardcore about etiquette as some people on this website (I probably fall somewhere in the middle about how much I adhere to it) but man- some of these people who make some of these websites really should have checked out this forum first!
I just read someone's website who has a HUGE FAQ section that includes things like:
-a 6 paragraph description on dress code- including what 4 colors they do not want people to wear (no black, white, red ???, or the bridal party's color- turquoise), how long and "elegant" ladies dresses should be (and specifies no cocktail dresses or summer dresses), and whether or not women are allowed to wear anything in their hair. It literally says something along the lines of "You may wear a small accessory in your hair if you desire."
-another 6 paragraph description about yes there is a registry- including details like what their favorite and preferred items on the registry are, suggesting that some people may want to go in on some of the bigger gifts together, and what they intend to use their monetary gifts for (renovating their home)
People like this have to be joking! It's so embarrassing they actually sent this out to people... figured some of you etiquette people would find this insane like I did! And hopefully it will prevent some other new brides from ever making a wedding website like this!
Re: Some of the wedding websites out there are insane!!!
- Posting links to wedding websites on FB, which is how I even saw some of the websites for people I don't know very well.
- Dictating dress code. Again, not as bad as what OP described, but one couple admonished guests to take a shower and run a comb through their hair at minimum.
- Honeymoon registries. And more honeymoon registries. And a gofundme site.
- Telling guests "drinks are on us" (literally), but then telling guests they should tip the bartenders.
One thing I thought was pretty hilarious, though not a faux pas, was that the bride had written a multi-paragraph "her version" of their story, and the groom's "his version" was never completed. Ha.What is sad is that, though I am horrified this bride put this type of information on her site, I am not surprised. It is very indicative of todays “me” way of thinking.
Honestly though I bet this bride has always been like this. I do not see a person going from totally laid back easy to this controlling crazy person. To the people that know her this is probably just another in a long list of terrible behavior. Only this time they have documentation they can keep forever.
Also, I definitely spent a lot of time on our website, but the majority of it is for out of town guests. We have at least a quarter of our guests who have never been to the area, and I wanted to make it as easy as possible for them. I have a lot of information about the nearest airport and what airlines fly into it, the nearest train station, to contact our venue to request a complementary shuttle from the airport or train station to our venue (hotel on site), and the nearest restaurants, drug store, and grocery store in the area. I have a tab for the ceremony and reception, but it is very minimal (start time of ceremony, location at the venue, reception to follow at this location at the venue). I will probably put links to our registry on it once we create them, but only a link with no text. I can't imagine dictating attire or saying what our preferred gifts are (isn't that the point of a registry anyways??????)!
The couple's story on my friend's was the most cringeworthy. In reality, they met at a bar, fell in love within a few weeks, then she found out he had a girlfriend of 5 years (who lived an hour away). He dumped his other girlfriend and they got engaged a year later. So on the wedding website it went something like "Neither were looking for love the night they met....."
Cut me a fucking break.
1st thing I did when I made my wedding website was to delete the how we met, bridal party, and attire sections. If you are invited to someone's wedding, you likely already know how they met, no one really cares all that much who is in the bridal party and does your BP want you to display their pictures and names on the internet anyways, and adults know how to dress themselves and what they wear to your wedding will have zero effect on you anyways.
Then I PW protected my site because as you can see, there are a lot of rando creepers out there ;-)
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
However, I told exactly two people something about dress code. One was a bridesmaid who told me she intended to buy her 15-year-old son a suit for the wedding. I told her that he didn't have to wear a suit if he didn't want to (especially since I knew money was tight for her and I didn't want her to feel like she had to spend a lot on a suit that he would grow out of in a year or two.) After multiple questions from my aunt about what her husband and adult sons should wear, which I tried to answer with "H will be wearing dress pants, a tie and a vest," I finally broke down and suggested slacks and a collared shirt. But at that point, I was pretty sure she wanted explicit information on what they should wear and telling her they were big boys and could dress themselves seemed more rude.
Pretty much everyone figured it out on their own. The ladies wore summery dresses, skirts or nice slacks. Most guys wore slacks and collared shirts. We had a few suits and a few shorts and t-shirts for guys as well. I honestly didn't notice... except for thinking one friend, who looked very handsome in his black suit, must have been really hot at our ceremony since the temperature that day ended up being much higher than the average.