Getting Pregnant 'On the sly'

ashley8918

Dreamergirl8812 said:

theycallmelinz said:

TL;DR: Would you ever secretly intentionally get pregnant behind SO's back if he's wasn't 100% on board with having kids yet?

I'm full of questions today! I guess because I've been super busy at work and at home so I took a little mini-hiatus from social media (including TK) so now I want to make up for lost time. Plus there's been lots of discussion about babies on here lately, so I have another topic to throw in the mix.

I work with a TON of women (nature of the job) and several are pregnant right now. I've had "baby fever" slowly simmering for a little while and I kind of feel like I'd be ready to start TTC probably right after the wedding. FI, not so much. He wants to wait until we're a bit more financially stable (which I agree with) and have done some more living. I was talking about this to a coworker and made the statement, "I'd love to have kids right away but FI isn't quite on board yet." Her response was that I should just stop using birth control and not tell him.

I was a little taken aback. That seems really shady to me. Plus, I have Nexplanon in my arm so I'm pretty sure he'd notice me coming home one day with a bandage on my arm and me whining about the pain. I'm a huge wimp, I'd definitely whine. But even if I was on the pill, there's no way I could skip some pills on purpose and not tell FI. I understand that accidents do happen all the time, but I'm talking about purposely messing with your BC in order to get pregnant.

What do you think? Would you allow yourself to 'accidentally' get pregnant on purpose, or would you be honest with SO/not actively start TTC until he agrees to?

The type of women who trick men into paternity is the same type that will poison his coffee rather than file for divorce.

I mean, divorce is expensive...

KIDDING. KIDDING.

kvruns

charcoalandblush said:

theycallmelinz said:

kvruns said:

had a friend do that, not with her FI/Husband but some guy she was sort of dating.  She really just wanted a kid and told him she was on BC when really she wasn't. She knew he wouldn't want to be a father or likely pursue custody and I guess she was right because I don't think he has had anything to do with the child since he was born

Holy cow. There's so many better ways to have handled that situation! 

Right? In that case, why don't you go to a sperm bank? I don't get why tricking your SO is the way to go.

She actually had been saving up for the sperm bank, that's why it was so weird!  She had talked about it for a year or two and how she was saving to do it because she didn't think she'd ever find a long term man and then poof she was pregnant and the story came out.  Although at the time she was pregnant I think they continued to date and I didn't learn she used him for his swimmers until later on

melbenso

Late to the thread here.  But hell no.  That's terrible.  I have a friend that happened to. He was 19.  His high school girlfriend's parents were getting divorced and she "wanted something of her very own" so she stopped taking her birth control without telling him so she could get pregnant.  She did.  He dropped out of college - he wanted to be an architect - to get a job in law enforcement so he could support her and the baby.  They ended up getting married and having two more kids.  They are divorced now.  He's a great dad, has been really successful in his law enforcement job, and is still on very good terms with this woman.  But I hate her.  With every fiber of my being.  And I can't help thinking that if she had only waited a few years, he would have married her and had kids then and still gotten to be an architect and maybe they'd still be together. 

I would never do that to someone.

MissKittyDanger

FiancB said:

No way. I have the baby rabies pretty bad and we've talked a lot about having kids, and we probably will decide to go for it sooner than later with me being ready a little before him, but no way. It's using someone's body without their permission and that's basically the shittiest thing a person can do. 

I cannot stop laughing at that wording!! I'm stealing it for future use ;-)

MissKittyDanger

Some people .... yeh this is a terrible idea to do that to someone.

A former friend of mine got pregnant because her ex would either swap the sugar pills or remove a pill and say she already had it so she would get pregnant.

Didn't hold the relationship between them either.

My FH and I have actually been MORE on top of things since getting engaged. I've been on the pill - strict on that - but we've also been using condoms. There was a brief moment of "Am I pregnant?" just after being engaged, and we realized that until the wedding and honeymoon we don't want to take that chance.

Ready or not, we both made a choice as it should.