My MOH (Best Friend of 10+ years) is threatening to pull out of the
wedding because of a comment the Groom said to me in a discussion he and
I (the Bride ) had. It was not a, sexist, racist, or abusive, comment
it was the grooms opinion about all people not one specified person. We
all know men can say the most insensitive things.
I made a
mistake of telling the MOH of this comment in a casual conversation we
had. I take full blame and responsibility for delivering the grooms
comment to her, as I did a
horrible delivery and did not take into account how she may react and
did not take into account her sensitivity that she may have on such
subjects.
Now, the MOH feels as though the grooms comment was
directed towards a particular person and feels very offended by this. I
am assuming (hoping) that up until my portrayal the Groom's comment that
she was fine with the him and accepted him as my future husband as I
had not hear any negative thoughts from her in regard to him prior than
this comment.
Since I had told her of his general comment, she
still did cake tasting and celebrated his birthday with us, which she
had never done before in the 4 years I have been with the groom. She did
not bring up her feelings of the comments to me until a few weeks after
the incident.
I have listened to her thoughts and feelings, I
truly can understand how she may believe that such comments were
directed towards a particular person. I have tried to assure her this
comment was not directed to a particular person in general. I have asked
her what it is that I can do to regain her respect for both myself and
the groom as I am willing to do what it takes... and it isn't even for
the wedding it is for our friendship.
I am not sure what else
there is to do other than sit back and wait for her to come around. On
top of all of this I feel like there may be something more that she
dislikes about him that she is holding back which is why she is blowing
up this comment issue. I know she is under a lot of stress and pressure
in her life. She has a lot to worry about and she has a lot on her
plate. I always tell her I am here for her and I really am. We meet
about once a week and have a happy hour, dinner, show, or activity and
talk about things.
I do not know how to approach this, it is
making me sick to my stomach and I am losing sleep. If this is really
bothering her as much as she says then I am sure she too is losing sleep
over it which is the last thing I'd ever want for my friend. I wish she
would have told me sooner so we could work it out sooner.
What else can I do with out letting this ruin the "JOY" of a wedding and matrimony?
Has anyone in the world had a drama free, glorious, "joy-filled" wedding planning experience?