Would you snark on this:

Nniikkii

For FI this will be is 4^th marriage, my second. We are talking about a small ceremony and reception. Would you say no/snark on this because it’s his 4^th?

FI married his ex’s after only being together for less than 6 months (second wife, 5 weeks), we have been together for almost 3 years, by the time we get married it will be 4 years. We have done everything different than all of his Ex’s (how we met, first date, didn’t sleep together right away, and reason for marring is because of love, not convenience), and he married all his ex’s at the court house so I want to do that different. I thought of just going to one of those wedding chapels and having the “elopement” ceremony, but my father wants to be there when we get married, so if he comes then we feel obligated to invite all close family. He has 18 people with his immediate family; I just have my dad and my BFF.  

I feel silly to have a ceremony and reception being that he’s been hitched so many times before but I don’t want to go to the court house to make it different.

My first wedding was super small ceremony and reception. His first and third marriage lasted 4.5 years, to include dating, second lasted 8 weeks including dating, this is the first time he has been engaged.

southernbelle0915

If you want to have a ceremony and reception with family and friends, do it. 

I wouldn't snark on it. If I had a problem with it or didn't support it for some reason, I just wouldn't attend. 

mikenberger

I dunno, it's your first marriage to each other. I'd probably have more snark if it was a second marriage to each other. 

Personally, I wouldn't care either way. If you want a small wedding and reception, go for it. Some people also side-eye the second marriage and the wearing of a white dress, I wouldn't care either way if you wore white or black either. You two do what you want to do. As long as it's properly hosted and with etiquette, go on girl! 

Cookie Pusher

I wouldn't snark on this as long as you plan on properly hosting those you're planning to invite. As long as your plans are etiquette-approved, there's nothing else to say but mozel tov!

Nniikkii

As far as hosting: I found a place that I like that has it all in packages, though there isn’t a bar and there is no way I am going to do a dry wedding. So Im going to have to find a different local for reception to do a fully seated meal (with options for beef or chicken or vegetarian), open bar, good music with no forced dancing. And I have found some short lace cream colored dresses I am fond of at modcloth.

There will be a plethora of children so music is a must for them to dance away their energy.

amelisha

It's not the 1950s anymore, thankfully, and no one sane should judge you for having a small ceremony and reception even if it is his fourth wedding. Being afraid of what people might say is a bad reason not to celebrate getting married if you want to.

MairePoppy

I wouldn't judge you. This is how it works, you send out wedding invitations, the recipients are free to decline if they choose. Those who accept, will come to wish you well and be hosted at a fun reception. What you're planning sounds perfect.

AddieCake

I don't see why anyone gives a shit how many times someone has been married. Having been married before should not preclude couples from having whatever size wedding or whatever level of formality they would like. 

climbingsingle

I'm attending a third marriage ceremony for a friend. Just because it's her third one doesn't change how happy I am for her.

NoneForUs

No reason to snark on this at all. However, if you feel silly then you should pay attention to those feelings. Maybe you can elope and have a party afterwards?

You can have an elopement at a location other than a courthouse. My husband and I eloped at a resort four hours north of where we live and it was lovely. 

danamw

No, really, don't worry about it. Everybody is entitled to the wedding they can pay for! Sounds like you are going to host your guests graciously.

My MOH was married for the third time, her H for the first. He invited family and friends, she invited only immediate family (parents, sister & family, daughters), and friends, because her extended family had attended her first wedding and she didn't want to ding them twice for gifts.

MandyMost

I'd only side-eye it if I had been a guest at his other weddings as well. If it's the 4th time I'm expected to get dressed up, sit through a ceremony where he makes vows "forever", and give him a gift, I'd be rolling my eyes so hard. But if he didn't have guests for those other weddings, and you're keeping the whole affair as a low-key celebration of love and commitment instead of a "look at how fabulous I am and give me presents" affair, then I think it's wonderful.