Seriously? Your already married!!

jelly1313

So I just found out last night that a couple of my FI friends who are getting "married" at the end of the month in Mexico are already married. They didn't want to go through the hassle of all the paperwork to get married in Mexico. They are having 30 people fly down there to watch them get married including lots of our mutual friends and a guy who works for my FI. I know that nobody else knows that they are married already and are spending over $3000 to attend this wedding. Should I tell our friends that they are already married or is it none of my business? 

mikenberger

I'd totally let that one slip. 

"I was going to go, but then they're already married, so I opted not to. OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW?? Whoops." or "Man, I wished I would've known they were already married before I bought my plane tickets. Oh well! At least there's booze and food!"

I do not understand this "It's so difficult to get married in Mexico. I'm getting married here first, then down there I'll have my 'real' ceremony." It's not that tough. A lot of resorts have people JUST for this purpose; to help you navigate the international marriage waters.

Idiots.

thisismynickname2

I hate to say it, but while I'd love to work that into casual conversation, I'm too wimpy to do the right thing. How'd you find out anyway?

"Yeah, friend, getting married in Mexico can be a bit of a hassle. Immunizations and stuff. I guess that's why so-and-so already technically got married so they didn't have to deal with it. What? You didn't know? Oh, they said something to us last week."

southernbelle0915

That's really shitty of them. Technically, I would say its against etiquette to gossip, which is basically what you'd be doing.

The non-etiquette approved tactic would be to drop it innocently into conversation. "How exciting that John and Jane got married last month!" "Congratulations tying the knot!" "How sweet to have Valentine's Day AND their anniversary in the same month!" 

Ooooops.

floridabride44

jelly1313 said:

So I just found out last night that a couple of my FI friends who are getting "married" at the end of the month in Mexico are already married. They didn't want to go through the hassle of all the paperwork to get married in Mexico. They are having 30 people fly down there to watch them get married including lots of our mutual friends and a guy who works for my FI. I know that nobody else knows that they are married already and are spending over $3000 to attend this wedding. Should I tell our friends that they are already married or is it none of my business? 

Unless they specifically asked you to keep it a secret, I don't see a problem with talking about it. 

jelly1313

The "Groom to be" let it slip to my best friend and she had assumed that everyone invited knew but we were also invited and decided not to go. Just last weekend I was talking to the "bride to be" and she was trying to convince me to go and she didn't say anything about being already married.

Its just so rude to make people pay that sort of money to watch you get married when its already happened. Plus we are going to lose money because the guy who works for us is planning on going because he doesn't want to miss out on a friends wedding.

mikenberger

jelly1313 said:

The "Groom to be" let it slip to my best friend and she had assumed that everyone invited knew but we were also invited and decided not to go. Just last weekend I was talking to the "bride to be" and she was trying to convince me to go and she didn't say anything about being already married.

Its just so rude to make people pay that sort of money to watch you get married when its already happened. Plus we are going to lose money because the guy who works for us is planning on going because he doesn't want to miss out on a friends wedding.

Personally, I wouldn't care if it came out that they are married. It's obvious that they find their friends to be ignorant and that they can just slide one right past them.

PrettyGirlLost

jelly1313 said:

So I just found out last night that a couple of my FI friends who are getting "married" at the end of the month in Mexico are already married. They didn't want to go through the hassle of all the paperwork to get married in Mexico. They are having 30 people fly down there to watch them get married including lots of our mutual friends and a guy who works for my FI. I know that nobody else knows that they are married already and are spending over $3000 to attend this wedding. Should I tell our friends that they are already married or is it none of my business? 

@MrsEverhart

You bet your sweet butt I'd tell mutual friends and family that are considering going that the couple is already married.

"We decided the trip was too pricey, and since they are already married we aren't really missing out on anything.  You didn't know?  Yeah Groom told BFF so we assumed everyone knew."

flantastic

PrettyGirlLost said:

jelly1313 said:

So I just found out last night that a couple of my FI friends who are getting "married" at the end of the month in Mexico are already married. They didn't want to go through the hassle of all the paperwork to get married in Mexico. They are having 30 people fly down there to watch them get married including lots of our mutual friends and a guy who works for my FI. I know that nobody else knows that they are married already and are spending over $3000 to attend this wedding. Should I tell our friends that they are already married or is it none of my business? 

@MrsEverhart

NO

I know she's banned but NO don't wish evil upon us

Maggie0829

I mean I wouldn't call people up just to tell them but if I were talking to one of the people attending I would be say something like "oh I hope you have a good time at X and Y's vow renewal."  "It's not a vow renewal, its their wedding."  "Oh, they are already married.  Didn't you know?"

PrettyGirlLost

flantastic said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

jelly1313 said:

So I just found out last night that a couple of my FI friends who are getting "married" at the end of the month in Mexico are already married. They didn't want to go through the hassle of all the paperwork to get married in Mexico. They are having 30 people fly down there to watch them get married including lots of our mutual friends and a guy who works for my FI. I know that nobody else knows that they are married already and are spending over $3000 to attend this wedding. Should I tell our friends that they are already married or is it none of my business? 

@MrsEverhart

NO

I know she's banned but NO don't wish evil upon us

saric83

I agree that it's shitty what they're doing, but I personally wouldn't go out of my way to bring it up.  If it were earlier in the planning and knowing the information would possibly change some people's decisions to go, I probably would.  But it's a few weeks before, and the people that are going are already booked, so it would do absolutely nothing to help the situation. 

flantastic

PrettyGirlLost said:

flantastic said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

jelly1313 said:

So I just found out last night that a couple of my FI friends who are getting "married" at the end of the month in Mexico are already married. They didn't want to go through the hassle of all the paperwork to get married in Mexico. They are having 30 people fly down there to watch them get married including lots of our mutual friends and a guy who works for my FI. I know that nobody else knows that they are married already and are spending over $3000 to attend this wedding. Should I tell our friends that they are already married or is it none of my business? 

@MrsEverhart

NO

I know she's banned but NO don't wish evil upon us

For some reason I can't stop giggling at this

PrettyGirlLost

flantastic said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

flantastic said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

jelly1313 said:

So I just found out last night that a couple of my FI friends who are getting "married" at the end of the month in Mexico are already married. They didn't want to go through the hassle of all the paperwork to get married in Mexico. They are having 30 people fly down there to watch them get married including lots of our mutual friends and a guy who works for my FI. I know that nobody else knows that they are married already and are spending over $3000 to attend this wedding. Should I tell our friends that they are already married or is it none of my business? 

@MrsEverhart

NO

I know she's banned but NO don't wish evil upon us

For some reason I can't stop giggling at this

I laughed pretty hard when I found it!

jelly1313

Ok now I want to know who this MrsEverhart is??? Crazy person?

flantastic

jelly1313 said:

Ok now I want to know who this MrsEverhart is??? Crazy person?

She was the poster child for this behavior (what we call having a PPD or Pretty Princess Day after your actual wedding), and continually insisted (in many-paragraphed posts) that what she was doing was okay and not lying. I believe she also insisted she was not married when it suited her, which pissed off people who had a courthouse wedding and those who were fighting for the right to be married legally.

Her PPD was also in Mexico, so Mexico makes us cringe in particular... because it's really not that hard to get married legally there.

southernbelle0915

jelly1313 said:

Ok now I want to know who this MrsEverhart is??? Crazy person?

A poster who did exactly what this couple is doing. Except consciously did not tell any of their guests and relentlessly defended her choice. 

jelly1313

I just really don't get it. If its so hard to get married in Mexico then don't get married there. But don't expect all your friends and family to go on a vacation with you just because you think its pretty and want your wedding pictures there.

jelly1313

And don't lie to everyone!

flantastic

jelly1313 said:

I just really don't get it. If its so hard to get married in Mexico then don't get married there. But don't expect all your friends and family to go on a vacation with you just because you think its pretty and want your wedding pictures there.

jelly1313 said:

And don't lie to everyone!

If only common sense prevailed.

ohannabelle

jelly1313 said:

Ok now I want to know who this MrsEverhart is??? Crazy person?

 

I prefer to call her She Who Must Not Be Named.

It's like the Harry Potter/Voldemort thing. She seems to appear whenever she's mentioned. And then she types long tedious blocks of twaddle. 

climbingsingle

If the groom let it slip to someone, it's fair game IMO. I'd tell my mutual friends. They shouldn't be lying in the first place. 

PrettyGirlLost

flantastic said:

jelly1313 said:

Ok now I want to know who this MrsEverhart is??? Crazy person?

She was the poster child for this behavior (what we call having a PPD or Pretty Princess Day after your actual wedding), and continually insisted (in many-paragraphed posts) that what she was doing was okay and not lying. I believe she also insisted she was not married when it suited her, which pissed off people who had a courthouse wedding and those who were fighting for the right to be married legally.

Her PPD was also in Mexico, so Mexico makes us cringe in particular... because it's really not that hard to get married legally there.

They got married at a courthouse in the US so her husband could reap the benefit of her health insurance and also because they were too lazy to jump through whatever hoops are required to get married in Mexico, but they weren't really married because in their hearts and minds you are only married once you say your sacchrine vows to each other.

So since they didn't consider themselves married, they weren't married, so they weren't lying to their friends and family by not telling them prior to wasting money on a trip to Mexico that they were in fact already married.  Oh and by the way, their legal status on just some government piece of paper is none of the business of their friends and family anyways.

PrettyGirlLost

ohannabelle said:

jelly1313 said:

Ok now I want to know who this MrsEverhart is??? Crazy person?

 

I prefer to call her She Who Must Not Be Named.

It's like the Harry Potter/Voldemort thing. She seems to appear whenever she's mentioned. And then she types long tedious blocks of twaddle. 

Bah, I ain't afraid of no ghosts!  I'll put The One Ring on too, Sauron be damned!

flantastic

PrettyGirlLost said:

flantastic said:

jelly1313 said:

Ok now I want to know who this MrsEverhart is??? Crazy person?

She was the poster child for this behavior (what we call having a PPD or Pretty Princess Day after your actual wedding), and continually insisted (in many-paragraphed posts) that what she was doing was okay and not lying. I believe she also insisted she was not married when it suited her, which pissed off people who had a courthouse wedding and those who were fighting for the right to be married legally.

Her PPD was also in Mexico, so Mexico makes us cringe in particular... because it's really not that hard to get married legally there.

They got married at a courthouse in the US so her husband could reap the benefit of her health insurance and also because they were too lazy to jump through whatever hoops are required to get married in Mexico, but they weren't really married because in their hearts and minds you are only married once you say your sacchrine vows to each other.

So since they didn't consider themselves married, they weren't married, so they weren't lying to their friends and family by not telling them prior to wasting money on a trip to Mexico that they were in fact already married.  Oh and by the way, their legal status on just some government piece of paper is none of the business of their friends and family anyways.

Oh right. I forgot about the selfish health insurance bit.

Many PPDs happen because people want to get married for some benefit or convenience, but it's before they can plan or pay for the big party. So they just pretend it never happened.

laceykeo

But she wasn't married.

She said so.

Over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over...

The fact she "just" went to the courthouse just her and her "FI" and "signed the paperwork (got married) means she wasn't married.

Duh.

Man, that woman could argue for PAGES... And yet still say nothing at all.

She got banned?

I honestly don't know if I'm sad to see the end of the round-about argument, or happy her extremely weird ideas are finally done.

levioosa

laceykeo said:

But she wasn't married. She said so. Over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over... The fact she "just" went to the courthouse just her and her "FI" and "signed the paperwork (got married) means she wasn't married. Duh. Man, that woman could argue for PAGES... And yet still say nothing at all. She got banned? I honestly don't know if I'm sad to see the end of the round-about argument, or happy her extremely weird ideas are finally done.

I'm happy.  God, so, so happy. 

Her thoughts on violence and abuse towards women were deplorable.  So good riddance to her. 

novella1186

PrettyGirlLost said:

ohannabelle said:

jelly1313 said:

Ok now I want to know who this MrsEverhart is??? Crazy person?

 

I prefer to call her She Who Must Not Be Named.

It's like the Harry Potter/Voldemort thing. She seems to appear whenever she's mentioned. And then she types long tedious blocks of twaddle. 

Bah, I ain't afraid of no ghosts!  I'll put The One Ring on too, Sauron be damned!

Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary..... 

esstee33

jelly1313 said:

The "Groom to be" let it slip to my best friend and she had assumed that everyone invited knew but we were also invited and decided not to go. Just last weekend I was talking to the "bride to be" and she was trying to convince me to go and she didn't say anything about being already married.

Its just so rude to make people pay that sort of money to watch you get married when its already happened. Plus we are going to lose money because the guy who works for us is planning on going because he doesn't want to miss out on a friends wedding.

Yeah, if this were me in your shoes, I'd just flat-out say "Well, I can't really afford [or, you know, just don't want] to spend thousands of dollars flying to watch a pretend wedding when you're already married." 

Fuck everything about that.

charcoalandblush

Ugggggh this is the worst. We're going to one of these and didn't know that the couple was already married until we had spent $2000+ on travel for it. DF doesn't see anything wrong with it (because of course he doesn't).

CMGragain

She was banned?  Details!  Details!  Please!