Seriously? Your already married!!

flantastic

CMGragain said:

She was banned?  Details!  Details!  Please!

I missed it too, but apparently there was a thread where she was using her "I'm a bar owner and I SEE things" credibility to victim-blame women who are assaulted. That thread and her continual trolling got her booted.

levioosa

flantastic said:

CMGragain said:

She was banned?  Details!  Details!  Please!

I missed it too, but apparently there was a thread where she was using her "I'm a bar owner and I SEE things" credibility to victim-blame women who are assaulted. That thread and her continual trolling got her booted.

It's important to note that the thread in question was started by a poster who was afraid that she had been date rape drugged and was asking for advice.  So it was completely out of line for her to say the things she did in addition to having a generally disgusting mindset.  That's not the thread to air out your victim blaming thoughts. 

JellyBean52513

levioosa said:

flantastic said:

CMGragain said:

She was banned?  Details!  Details!  Please!

I missed it too, but apparently there was a thread where she was using her "I'm a bar owner and I SEE things" credibility to victim-blame women who are assaulted. That thread and her continual trolling got her booted.

It's important to note that the thread in question was started by a poster who was afraid that she had been date rape drugged and was asking for advice.  So it was completely out of line for her to say the things she did in addition to having a generally disgusting mindset.  That's not the thread to air out your victim blaming thoughts. 

I am so glad she's gone. I missed this thread, and she's lucky I did. What a fucking disgusting excuse for a human being.

allispain

levioosa said:

flantastic said:

CMGragain said:

She was banned?  Details!  Details!  Please!

I missed it too, but apparently there was a thread where she was using her "I'm a bar owner and I SEE things" credibility to victim-blame women who are assaulted. That thread and her continual trolling got her booted.

It's important to note that the thread in question was started by a poster who was afraid that she had been date rape drugged and was asking for advice.  So it was completely out of line for her to say the things she did in addition to having a generally disgusting mindset.  That's not the thread to air out your victim blaming thoughts. 

Woah, woah WOAH! How did I miss this? When did this go down??

novella1186

JellyBean52513 said:

levioosa said:

flantastic said:

CMGragain said:

She was banned?  Details!  Details!  Please!

I missed it too, but apparently there was a thread where she was using her "I'm a bar owner and I SEE things" credibility to victim-blame women who are assaulted. That thread and her continual trolling got her booted.

It's important to note that the thread in question was started by a poster who was afraid that she had been date rape drugged and was asking for advice.  So it was completely out of line for her to say the things she did in addition to having a generally disgusting mindset.  That's not the thread to air out your victim blaming thoughts. 

I am so glad she's gone. I missed this thread, and she's lucky I did. What a fucking disgusting excuse for a human being.

She also then showed up in someone else's thread at the same time and was making fun of them/personally attacking them for having family issues. I thought I was gonna get banned for sure. 

levioosa

novella1186 said:

JellyBean52513 said:

levioosa said:

flantastic said:

CMGragain said:

She was banned?  Details!  Details!  Please!

I missed it too, but apparently there was a thread where she was using her "I'm a bar owner and I SEE things" credibility to victim-blame women who are assaulted. That thread and her continual trolling got her booted.

It's important to note that the thread in question was started by a poster who was afraid that she had been date rape drugged and was asking for advice.  So it was completely out of line for her to say the things she did in addition to having a generally disgusting mindset.  That's not the thread to air out your victim blaming thoughts. 

I am so glad she's gone. I missed this thread, and she's lucky I did. What a fucking disgusting excuse for a human being.

She also then showed up in someone else's thread at the same time and was making fun of them/personally attacking them for having family issues. I thought I was gonna get banned for sure. 

Ugh, I forgot about that.  She was just a terrible person all around.  Ten bucks says she still lurks the PPD threads to see if we talk about her.  The thirst is real. 

JennyColada

Sweet, BSC was banned?! Oh, that explains why it's been such a joy to be on TK lately. Hrm.

drunkenwitch

levioosa said:

flantastic said:

CMGragain said:

She was banned?  Details!  Details!  Please!

I missed it too, but apparently there was a thread where she was using her "I'm a bar owner and I SEE things" credibility to victim-blame women who are assaulted. That thread and her continual trolling got her booted.

It's important to note that the thread in question was started by a poster who was afraid that she had been date rape drugged and was asking for advice.  So it was completely out of line for her to say the things she did in addition to having a generally disgusting mindset.  That's not the thread to air out your victim blaming thoughts. 


I remember that thread, I was still lurking at the time and I was disgusted by her comments.

thesilverbride

OMG! That bitch! Throwing a free party and not forcing herself to do tedious paperwork in another country versus getting the marriage license beforehand to save stress? WTF!!! 

Who cares? A wedding isn't about you watching them sign a piece of paper.. its about celebrating their love and supporting their decision. I don't understand the problem with this. The whole pretty princess day thing is something i think only the women on the knot worry about.. you guys shouldn't be so troubled by what other people are doing. You're not the government. you don't get to pick and choose what is right and what is wrong. Now.. bring on the shit talking.

kaitlynmichelle

^ I would never pay to travel to a PPD to celebrate with someone. That piece of paper makes them legally married. Doing it beforehand to make it easier means I'm watching people dress up and play pretend at getting married - because they already are married.

You can have celebrations in appropriate ways, but acting out a ceremony when you chose to previously become legally wed is ridiculous to me.

It is not just people on this website that find PPDs frustrating for a variety of reasons either. If it doesn't bother you, cool beans. Go to them and have a great time. But people that lie about being married and expect people to travel and pay a ton of money to not even witness their marriage is rude, and wrong of them. Yeah, it is wrong. Governments aren't the deciding factor in all things right and wrong, sorry.

thesilverbride

You all just seem so upset about something so incredibly insignificant. If you care about the people who are having the wedding yet have already signed government paper, go to their wedding. If you refuse to attend someones wedding because they signed legal papers beforehand, then don't go. They probably don't want you there any way since you are missing the literal point of the entire thing. A CELEBRATION OF THEIR LOVE. If it bothers OP so much, just attend the reception. see? there. you get your way, random guest. Why can't you just have a glass of free champagne and be happy for your friends? 

kao2015

thesilverbride said:

OMG! That bitch! Throwing a free party and not forcing herself to do tedious paperwork in another country versus getting the marriage license beforehand to save stress? WTF!!! 

Who cares? A wedding isn't about you watching them sign a piece of paper.. its about celebrating their love and supporting their decision. I don't understand the problem with this. The whole pretty princess day thing is something i think only the women on the knot worry about.. you guys shouldn't be so troubled by what other people are doing. You're not the government. you don't get to pick and choose what is right and what is wrong. Now.. bring on the shit talking.

1) It's not exactly free when they're asking people to fly to Mexico for their fake wedding.
2) I think a lot of people here (and elsewhere) don't have a problem with the event itself so much as the lying. Why is it okay to lie to your family and friends about this? If you think your reason for having a "wedding" like this is so compelling, why not just be honest?
3) Since you brought up the government: the government hasn't said this behavior is wrong, but they most certainly would say it's not a wedding, since the couple is already married. So, since they're apparently the authority here...this is not a wedding. Logical conclusion: calling it one is lying and ridiculous.

chibiyui

thesilverbride said:

You all just seem so upset about something so incredibly insignificant. If you care about the people who are having the wedding yet have already signed government paper, go to their wedding. If you refuse to attend someones wedding because they signed legal papers beforehand, then don't go. They probably don't want you there any way since you are missing the literal point of the entire thing. A CELEBRATION OF THEIR LOVE. If it bothers OP so much, just attend the reception. see? there. you get your way, random guest. Why can't you just have a glass of free champagne and be happy for your friends? 

thesilverbride

^^ What the hell does that even mean? 

artbyallie

@thesilverbride, getting married is not 'insignificant.' And that's what you do when you 'sign the papers.' You get married. The dress and party and all that other shit? That's what's fucking insignificant. Yeah, I did that part too, the day that I got married. It was fun, but ultimately not the important part of the day. When I (and most people) go to a wedding, I expect to see a couple get married. If they get married privately, that's their priority and that's fine, but that was their wedding. They don't then get a separate big production because they already made their choice. You can't eat your cake and have it too.

AddieCake

I have no problem with PPDs unless I'm lied to about it. I feel pissed off when I'm lied to at any time, so being led to believe I am seeing someone get married when I'm not would certainly fall in that category and cause me to be pissed.

redoryx

thesilverbride said:

You all just seem so upset about something so incredibly insignificant. If you care about the people who are having the wedding yet have already signed government paper, go to their wedding. If you refuse to attend someones wedding because they signed legal papers beforehand, then don't go. They probably don't want you there any way since you are missing the literal point of the entire thing. A CELEBRATION OF THEIR LOVE. If it bothers OP so much, just attend the reception. see? there. you get your way, random guest. Why can't you just have a glass of free champagne and be happy for your friends? 

You're missing the point. 

"Signed government paper" = getting married. "Getting married" = wedding. 

Therefore, if they got married beforehand, no matter how much you love them and blah blah blah, YOU CAN'T GO TO THEIR WEDDING. 

thisismynickname2

thesilverbride said:

You all just seem so upset about something so incredibly insignificant. If you care about the people who are having the wedding yet have already signed government paper, go to their wedding. If you refuse to attend someones wedding because they signed legal papers beforehand, then don't go. They probably don't want you there any way since you are missing the literal point of the entire thing. A CELEBRATION OF THEIR LOVE. If it bothers OP so much, just attend the reception. see? there. you get your way, random guest. Why can't you just have a glass of free champagne and be happy for your friends? 

I just took a weekend getaway to Cabo and witnessed a beautiful destination wedding at our resort. It wasn't at an all-inclusive resort, so assuming the 100-or so people there were there for at least 2-3 days if not more, no way a "free glass of champagne" would compensate for the time and money everyone spent to be there.

Group travels can be super fun; we noticed a lot of resort guests were part of fairly large groups. You have to invite people with full disclosure. That place wasn't cheap; if I could barely afford to go, I would have gone to see an actual wedding. I wouldn't have gone if it was just an excuse for a group vacation in someone's honor. 

ETA: I don't mean like wedding hosts should "compensate" guests for their troubles ever, please don't get me wrong. But asking people to shell out literally thousands to celebrate your love and justifying it by free champagne, well, shit I can get free champagne back home too by batting my eyes at a bartender. 

mikenberger

Ahhh entitlement. You're long overdue for this thread. 

The difference is: 

Statement:"We're totally not married. This is our marriage. In Mexico." 

Reality: "We've been married a month. We didn't want to hassle with Mexican laws for marriage. But we're not telling you that we're actually married. We're going to play pretend."

vs.

Statement: "We got married a month ago because we were concerned with the laws involved to get married. We just really want to celebrate with our friends at a resort in Mexico."

Reality: "We got married a month ago because we were concerned with the laws involved to get married. We just really want to celebrate with our friends at a resort in Mexico."

One is self serving and indulgent and down right fucking rude to people you supposedly care about. The other is up front and allows your guest to control whether they want to spend money on the same thing: SOMETHING THAT IS NOT YOUR WEDDING. 

climbingsingle

thesilverbride said:

You all just seem so upset about something so incredibly insignificant. If you care about the people who are having the wedding yet have already signed government paper, go to their wedding. If you refuse to attend someones wedding because they signed legal papers beforehand, then don't go. They probably don't want you there any way since you are missing the literal point of the entire thing. A CELEBRATION OF THEIR LOVE. If it bothers OP so much, just attend the reception. see? there. you get your way, random guest. Why can't you just have a glass of free champagne and be happy for your friends? 

You're totally missing the point. LYING to your loved ones and having them travel to another country for a fucking fake ceremony is wrong. If you can't see that, then that's on you girl. 

ETA @thesilverbride - this is the Etiquette board. Not sure if you noticed that, boo. Advice here will be on par with proper etiquette. Lying to your guests and staging a fake ceremony is not only tacky, it's against etiquette. 

flantastic

LOL that the government gets to decide what is "right" and "wrong." They're the arbiters of legality, not morality.

jelly1313

My big problem with it is the lying to me about it. The bride really wants us to come "watch them get married"

When I found out they are already married I was a little upset. They have 30+ people flying to Mexico at about $3000 per person. 

So its not a free party, it is a party that is costing everyone a lot of money. And what they hell to you think a wedding is??? It is two people signing a piece of paper saying they are now married. Its not the party, that's just extra. As for it being just Knot people not liking this, very untrue. The friend who told me they are already married knows nothing about the Knot and she was furious that they were being lied to and the bride tried to guilt them into going on a trip they couldn't afford.

thesilverbride said:

OMG! That bitch! Throwing a free party and not forcing herself to do tedious paperwork in another country versus getting the marriage license beforehand to save stress? WTF!!! 

Who cares? A wedding isn't about you watching them sign a piece of paper.. its about celebrating their love and supporting their decision. I don't understand the problem with this. The whole pretty princess day thing is something i think only the women on the knot worry about.. you guys shouldn't be so troubled by what other people are doing. You're not the government. you don't get to pick and choose what is right and what is wrong. Now.. bring on the shit talking.

kmmssg

thesilverbride said:

You all just seem so upset about something so incredibly insignificant. If you care about the people who are having the wedding yet have already signed government paper, go to their wedding. If you refuse to attend someones wedding because they signed legal papers beforehand, then don't go. They probably don't want you there any way since you are missing the literal point of the entire thing. A CELEBRATION OF THEIR LOVE. If it bothers OP so much, just attend the reception. see? there. you get your way, random guest. Why can't you just have a glass of free champagne and be happy for your friends? 

When you signed the papers you ARE married.  It isn't insignificant!  It is what gives you certain rights to your spouse in case of injury, emergency, it is what makes you his/her next of kin, it is what gives you legal rights you do not have right now.  AND....there are people begging for that "insignificant" piece of paper but are denied because they are same sex.

In reviewing  your posting history I see you are a big believer in "it's my day and I can do anything I want" - well you certainly can, but you will come off quite rudely when you do.

PrettyGirlLost

kmmssg said:

thesilverbride said:

You all just seem so upset about something so incredibly insignificant. If you care about the people who are having the wedding yet have already signed government paper, go to their wedding. If you refuse to attend someones wedding because they signed legal papers beforehand, then don't go. They probably don't want you there any way since you are missing the literal point of the entire thing. A CELEBRATION OF THEIR LOVE. If it bothers OP so much, just attend the reception. see? there. you get your way, random guest. Why can't you just have a glass of free champagne and be happy for your friends? 

When you signed the papers you ARE married.  It isn't insignificant!  It is what gives you certain rights to your spouse in case of injury, emergency, it is what makes you his/her next of kin, it is what gives you legal rights you do not have right now.  AND....there are people begging for that "insignificant" piece of paper but are denied because they are same sex.

In reviewing  your posting history I see you are a big believer in "it's my day and I can do anything I want" - well you certainly can, but you will come off quite rudely when you do.

I call those Kanye Brides or Burger King Brides.

Kanye because we should all bow in the presence of greatness.  Burger King because they can have it their way!

[Deleted User]

slothiegal

If you want to party in Mexico with your friends, plan a vacation.  Why does a fake wedding have to be wrapped up in it?

falsara

Why is there always shit stirrer? @thesilverbride‌ This thread was basically dead. I'm calling MUD.

VulgarGirl

People who say it's just a piece of paper have never been denied the right to have one.

PrettyGirlLost

It's my fault. I summoned a Shit Stirrer by mention She Who Shall Not Be Named.

For my next act, I shall summon Cthulhu!

Actually, TK kinda reminds me of Arkham Horror every once in a while. . . the different types of SS that come in to cause chaos remind me of the different Old Gods that fuck with you in that game.  And we do seem to gradually loose sanity participating in threads. . .

chibiyui

PrettyGirlLost said:

It's my fault. I summoned a Shit Stirrer by mention She Who Shall Not Be Named.

For my next act, I shall summon Cthulhu!

Actually, TK kinda reminds me of Arkham Horror every once in a while. . . the different types of SS that come in to cause chaos remind me of the different Old Gods that fuck with you in that game.  And we do seem to gradually loose sanity participating in threads. . .

Now I want to play Arkham Horror.