Beer and Wine...and possibly something extra?

rcher912

So we're purchasing our own beer  & wine for the wedding, which is totally fine and we're excited about it (our family is made up almost entirely of beer snobs and wine-os, hehe)

almost our entire family.

My brother really dislikes both beer and wine, and while we will have non-alcoholic drinks available (sodas, juices, water), I was wondering about an idea I've heard float around these boards:

I know BYOB is not an option, got that, but if we bought, like, one bottle of liquor that's really meant for him and left it with the bartender to spike his juice or something, would that be inconsiderate and rude to other guests? As long as my bro and the bartender touch base with me/FI saying "yes, this is the guy, please give him the booze that's under your table". It sounds so shady to me, but I want to please my brother.

If it's super-tacky we won't do it, but I wanted to know what the general consensus was.

STARMOON44

I think it's pretty tacky.

jacques27

Tacky.

You shouldn't have something available to only a select few (or one) if you can't have it available for all.  You could do a simple specialty cocktail and have it available to all.

Otherwise, it's what...5 hours total?  He'll live.

southernbelle0915

rcher912 said:

So we're purchasing our own beer  & wine for the wedding, which is totally fine and we're excited about it (our family is made up almost entirely of beer snobs and wine-os, hehe)

almost our entire family.

My brother really dislikes both beer and wine, and while we will have non-alcoholic drinks available (sodas, juices, water), I was wondering about an idea I've heard float around these boards:

I know BYOB is not an option, got that, but if we bought, like, one bottle of liquor that's really meant for him and left it with the bartender to spike his juice or something, would that be inconsiderate and rude to other guests? As long as my bro and the bartender touch base with me/FI saying "yes, this is the guy, please give him the booze that's under your table". It sounds so shady to me, but I want to please my brother.

If it's super-tacky we won't do it, but I wanted to know what the general consensus was.

Really tacky. That would be like serving everyone chicken and salad, but since your brother doesn't like chicken, you give *just* him steak and asparagus. 

If your brother doesn't like beer or wine, then he can choose to not drink. You really can't worry about every little thing like this. If your brother is of drinking age, I presume he is an adult who can handle himself in a situation like this.

rcher912

Haha, @jaques27 you're right - he'll live.

Just wanted to check. Thanks for the feedback!! Beer & wine it is.

sarahufl

super tacky

wandajune6

Super tacky. But could you consider a signature drink that he'll like? It could be the one break from the wine/beer offering.

tcnoble

I don't drink beer, am really picky about wine, and prefer hard liquor... but even the pickiest of drinkers should be able to endure and ENJOY a reception without liquor. 

I like another's suggestion about a signature drink - you could come up with one with your brother in mind, and that way he wins and everyone else has a choice.

Casadena

We had beer, wine, and margaritas. It seems like you could cover a lot of people like your brother by offering an easy liquor drink that's easy to make big batches of or that you can buy premade.

ElcaB

I definitely would not do that. Either offer a signature drink in addition to the beer & wine or let brother get over it. 

FWIW, we offered beer, wine, cranberry margaritas, and apple pie on the rocks. Everyone was very happy with their options. 

theartistformerlyknownas

ElcaB said:

I definitely would not do that. Either offer a signature drink in addition to the beer & wine or let brother get over it. 

FWIW, we offered beer, wine, cranberry margaritas, and apple pie on the rocks. Everyone was very happy with their options. 

I am not happy with this, because I did not get one. Please have a do-over. I'll wait for my invitation.

tcnoble

ElcaB said:

I definitely would not do that. Either offer a signature drink in addition to the beer & wine or let brother get over it. 

FWIW, we offered beer, wine, cranberry margaritas, and apple pie on the rocks. Everyone was very happy with their options. 

What is this?! I want this.

rcher912

ummm, yes, what is apple pie on the rocks @ElcaB?!

ElcaB

@lolo883, @tcnoble, @rcher912 ---

It's very sweet, but oh-so-delicious. We got married in the fall so we wanted to have seasonal drinks. It was a huge hit!

Apple Pie on the Rocks

1 oz. vanilla vodka

1 oz. Fireball

2 oz. apple juice

Pour over ice & enjoy! I like to garnish mine with a cinnamon stick. I also usually make it with less Fireball than it calls for and more vanilla vodka. 

Readers beware! This drink will knock you on your butt. Hard. 

Lauderdale Pink

I am not sure what your venue is (hotel vs. catering hall) but, you could buy him a nice flask that would fit in his jacket pocket, fill it with his choice of mixer, and he could spike his own drink in a less obvious location during the party.  Although some posters were quick to point out that the bar tender idea was not great, I do applaud your efforts toward having your brother enjoy your wedding.

theartistformerlyknownas

Lauderdale Pink said:

I am not sure what your venue is (hotel vs. catering hall) but, you could buy him a nice flask that would fit in his jacket pocket, fill it with his choice of mixer, and he could spike his own drink in a less obvious location during the party.  Although some posters were quick to point out that the bar tender idea was not great, I do applaud your efforts toward having your brother enjoy your wedding.

That's a terrible idea.

marissaskisses

If you are not offering hard drinks to everyone due to budget issues my friend did this for her wedding...

Have a co-mingled shower, if someone brings a bottle of liquorr of their choice they are entered into a drawing for a prize. Purchase a $25 prize and you get multiple bottles of liquor to serve at your wedding for cheap.

Kahlyla

marissaskisses said:

If you are not offering hard drinks to everyone due to budget issues my friend did this for her wedding...

Have a co-mingled shower, if someone brings a bottle of liquorr of their choice they are entered into a drawing for a prize. Purchase a $25 prize and you get multiple bottles of liquor to serve at your wedding for cheap.

Huh?

Also, no.

rcher912

Final decision came in the first meeting with the caterer when FI said he really wanted a signature drink. Problem solved! (I really thought we had talked about this and decided against it, but whatever. This works well, too!)

Viczaesar

marissaskisses said:

If you are not offering hard drinks to everyone due to budget issues my friend did this for her wedding...

Have a co-mingled shower, if someone brings a bottle of liquorr of their choice they are entered into a drawing for a prize. Purchase a $25 prize and you get multiple bottles of liquor to serve at your wedding for cheap.

Good god, no.