Budget Weddings Forum

Honoring My Mother

My parents split up when I was very young - they were never really together. We're thinking about doing our wedding at my father's house and this is understandably causing my mom a little anxiety. So - I need some advice about how to do something special for my mom at our wedding. A note - my mother's never been married, so I can't incorporate her dress in any way, she's already walking with me down the aisle, and I'm planning to dance with her at the reception. I'm looking for something unique and a little unexpected. I really want my mom to know that even though we're doing it at my dad's house, she's one of the most important people in my life and I want her to have a great experience and not think about the fact that we're at my dad's house all day. 

Thanks so much!!

Re: Honoring My Mother

  • levioosalevioosa member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2015
    OP, change your username for internet safety if that is your real name.

    I'm not sure why your Mom would feel like she isn't important.  She's walking you down the aisle and you're doing a dance with her.  That's nothing to sneeze at.  She is already an important person because she is your mother, and you clearly are already making efforts to show it.  Was there a competition on whose house to use?  Because if it was, and logistically choosing your Dad's house worked better, then she is overreacting.

    You are pretty much doing everything already.  You could also write her a note letting her know how important she is to you and give it to her at the rehearsal dinner. 

  • Well you already have her doing some of the most honorable things she can do. Seat her in the front row and give her a corsage. Ask her if there's anything she wore at her wedding that she still has. Incorporate it into your arrtire/bouquet. Write her a heartfelt note about why she's special to you. Not everything you do has to be for others to see.

  • Honestly, heartfelt letter.  Tell her all the things you wrote here. 

    Because I'm assuming unique and a little unexpected = public declaration to you and that has the potential to 1) be awkward, 2) point out to others that she's been feeling insecure and anxious, and 3) make it feel like you're purposely picking one parent over the other.

  • @southernbelle0915, her mother was never married.

    OP, you ARE buying her a lovely corsage, aren't you?  This is what is usually done.  The location of your wedding has nothing to do with how you feel about your mother.
  • Mom walking you down the aisle sounds like a great way you are honoring her already
  • I think you're already doing things to honor here. But if you want, write her a really sweet letter and give it to her the day of the wedding.
  • I agree with PPs that you're honouring her by asking her to walk you down the aisle and dancing with her at the reception. 

    I wrote my mom a heartfelt letter the night before our wedding. I had asked her to joint me in the bridal suite earlier than everyone for breakfast, and gave her the letter during our breakfast. It was a very special moment. 
  • My mom and I are going to stay at a B&B near our venue the night before the wedding, just me and her.  Maybe do something like that?  But honestly, sounds like you're doing plenty to honor her! 
    Married 9.12.15
  • I agree with writing her a heartfelt letter. It seems like you're honoring her already. The heartfelt letter would just be a sweet addition.

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