NWR: Terminal illness

SP29

This is similar to a topic below about the coworker with terminal illness, and what do you say or do? But in this case, the person with terminal illness is my mom's best friend, someone whom I would consider like an aunt

I've known her for over a decade, I have spent a fair bit of time with her with my mom, I've babysat her dog, and though my MOH hosted my bridal tea she offered her house as the venue.

I live over 3 000 km away. I'm actually going back home in 2.5 weeks for a friend's wedding- I hope I'll get to see her. In the meantime, I'd like to send a card. I want to say stuff about how awesome I think she is, I'm sorry, how life isn't fair, and F cancer. 

But do you acknowledge it, or not? 

CMGragain

The hardest thing for me to deal with is comforting the people who are shocked and frightened by my cancer. 
Everybody's different.  Some people don't want to acknowledge their impending death.  Others embrace it, and want to do as much as possible in the time that is left to them.  (I just got back from a trip to Singapore with my husband!)

Write a note right now, telling your friend how much she has meant to you and expressing sorrow over her illness.  Then go visit her when possible, and give her a real life hug.  If you have any old photos of her with you and your family, that would be a treat for her.  Love is what it is all about.

mlg78

I wouldn't directly acknowledge it. I would focus on your love for her, your shared memories, your upcoming visit to see her, etc. She is aware of her situation and her impending death. I don't think there's a need to draw attention to it.

SP29

Thanks

That's a good point CMGragain, you're right, she doesn't need to deal with trying to comfort me (and I don't want her to). I'll keep my sentiments towards the positive. 

blabla89

I second what CMG suggested. When my mom was sick (and knew it was terminal, but hadn't told anyone that part) she wanted to live her life as normally as possible. She loved to receive encouraging notes from people who loved her, though. I love the idea of sending an old photo or some other nice memory.

novella1186

I would keep the note positive; keep it about how much she means to you, how much you love all your memories with her, how great of a person she is, her impact on your life, etc. It will make her smile.

I'm sorry for this situation. Hugs

SP29

Thanks for the responses ladies

I got a photo of her printed that I love- it is from our wedding actually. She is smiling, preparing to blow some bubbles post ceremony. I also got a card, and kept it to the positive- good memories and looking forward to seeing her soon.