"How many months have you been married...."

LakeR2014

"How many months have you been married?" and then pointedly looks at my stomach. 

Or my favorite said three times to me in the last two weeks "Wow, you look like you're glowing anything new to share?" and then pointedly looks at my stomach.   Does anyone else get this?

Background:  We've been married a little over 6 months and to be fair I've gained probably 10-15 since we married, but am not pregnant, nor will I be anytime soon.   But I still find it rude, as it's rather obvious as to what they're stating without stating it. 

ashley8918

OMFG, HELL NO. That is the rudest fucking shit ever.

charcoalandblush

I got this a few times when I worked in retail (don't know why retail specifically, but this was the only job that it's happened to me in). Once I was chit-chatting with a customer and was saying that my BF at the time and I had just moved into a new apartment , I was about to start law school, we adopted a cat from the shelter, etc. and the customer goes "Really? Doing all that AND with a baby on the way?" I was mortified.

SmileDamnit

I had an aunt ask if we got married because I was pregnant. Pretty sure it was my beer (wine...whiskey...vodka) gut that sparked that comment. It couldn't have been because I actually got knocked up on wedding weekend, though, because, well, math.

theartistformerlyknownas

HOOOOOLLLYYYYY SHIT. Not OK in any context.

climbingsingle

Get this - someone said the glowing thing to me back in January at a funeral. "You're glowing!!!" and then he kept looking at me. And I said, "It must be my new haircut." And then he was like, No, girl! Hahahahahaa!"

Blech. Dude. No. Not having babies. Stop now. 

katiekessler123

Yep! Apparently when you turn a certain age and are married your ovaries become everyone's business.  It's obnoxious and drives me crazy!  I'm so sick of saying, "We're just enjoying our marriage right now." 

hellosweetie1015

What EVEN possesses a person to say something like that?! I honestly cannot even. SOOOOOOOO rude.

LakeR2014

katiekessler123 said:

Yep! Apparently when you turn a certain age and are married your ovaries become everyone's business.  It's obnoxious and drives me crazy!  I'm so sick of saying, "We're just enjoying our marriage right now." 

THIS.  So much this.   In response to the glowing comment, I've started to respond, "Thanks it must be all that lack of sleep I'm getting with the new puppy!"

FiancB

Nothing too pointed, but when I call my parents they seem really bored about anything else I tell them and then ask "so is anything ELSE new?" and then are like oh ok bye when I say no. And other hints about how waiting too long is a bad idea and how great it is I'll be a nurse because then I can care for my kids that much better. 'Cause I didn't intend to use that degree for a job or anything. 

abl13

All of my work goals assigned to me this year involved me training someone to be my backup. Cuz you know, I've been married two years now so it's definitely time for me to get ready for maternity leave *eyeroll*

KatieinBkln

I thank the power of my big mouth and epic side eye for the fact that no one starts this shit with me.

We'll see if I have to up my "Get outta my ovaries" game once I actually get married.

doeydo

What kind of a stupid dickface would say that to someone?  Sorry bud, not everyone has washboard abs or wears a corset and shit all the time.  Having a cute belly does not make one pregnant and to ask someone that or assume that they are is just horribly rude and inconsiderate of the person's feelings.

Wegl13

All of my period symptoms mimic classic early pregnancy symptoms (super smell, nausea, etc), so I get these kind of comments about once a month. I'm sorry but if I'm about to run out the door puking because a dog just had explosive diarrhea that is literally the worst smell I've ever experienced....... It may actually be because that's a bad smell, and not because I'm pregnant.

beethery

I would be on the news from a damn jail cell if anyone asked me that kind of shit.

mikenberger

beethery said:

I would be on the news from a damn jail cell if anyone asked me that kind of shit.

Yup. Someone actually came up to me and TOUCHED MY 100% NOT PREGNANT STOMACH. I grabbed their hand and gave it a crippling squeeze and told them "Don't ever fucking touch a woman's stomach without asking and don't ever fucking assume a woman is pregnant unless you see a crowning head from their vagina. You dipshit." And walked away. Some people are fucking thick. People like that make me wanna:

flutteringinfl

When we got engaged my FMIL for some reason assumed I was pregnant, and then told my pregnant FSIL that she was sure I was pregnant, which made FSIL upset because...well, she's like that. I told FI and he said, "Of course my family thinks the only way I could get the courage to propose is if you were pregnant."

I've always been taught you NEVER assume a woman is pregnant even if you're certain she is. A girl I knew assumed this person she saw was pregnant because the person was wearing a shirt the girl knew to be a maternity shirt, and she was wrong.

Wegl13

I'm pretty sure "don't say anything to remotely suggest a woman is pregnant unless you can see a baby emerging" is an old Dave Barry truism. Omg I miss Dave Barry.

luckya23

flutteringinfl said:

When we got engaged my FMIL for some reason assumed I was pregnant, and then told my pregnant FSIL that she was sure I was pregnant, which made FSIL upset because...well, she's like that. I told FI and he said, "Of course my family thinks the only way I could get the courage to propose is if you were pregnant."

I've always been taught you NEVER assume a woman is pregnant even if you're certain she is. A girl I knew assumed this person she saw was pregnant because the person was wearing a shirt the girl knew to be a maternity shirt, and she was wrong.

This has never happened to me, but I love maternity clothing.  It fits my hips much better!

Couggal12

Hell no. That is so rude but, I can't say I'm surprised people say things like that. 

amelisha

Nopenopenopenopenope. Awful.

It's been cold out and I've been wearing baggy sweaters a lot at work and I've found myself having to tell people that I'm not trying to hide anything with the loose clothing, though, and we're not even married yet. There are three pregnant women in my office of 50 right now though, so I think it's on everyone's brains, and moreover we're short-staffed so I think they're all just in panic mode about covering another mat leave. So I try not to get offended when someone says something. 

flutteringinfl

Wegl13 said:

I'm pretty sure "don't say anything to remotely suggest a woman is pregnant unless you can see a baby emerging" is an old Dave Barry truism. Omg I miss Dave Barry.

That's probably where I learned it.

emmaaa

That is not okay. At all. It is never okay to assume a woman is pregnant, no matter the conditions. It is never okay to tell a woman she should start trying to get pregnant. It is never okay, and this my personal favorite because it is what I keep hearing, to tell a woman to wait until she tries to get pregnant because they should wait a while! Moral of the story: it is never okay to assume anything about a woman and her pregnancy, or lack thereof, and when she intends or doesn't intend to get pregnant. 

wrigleyville

KatieinBkln said:

I thank the power of my big mouth and epic side eye for the fact that no one starts this shit with me.

We'll see if I have to up my "Get outta my ovaries" game once I actually get married.

For this very reason, nobody has said anything baby-related to me since I was about 30.

Well, strangers, but they can fuck right off, and my look usually conveys that.

NowIamMrsKlein

Ugh! This is the worst!

FI and I aren't getting much of it right now because my brother just had a kid and my sister is currently pregnant so most of the focus is on them.

However, I definitely have had a few comments about my age and how we should be 'getting on that' as soon as we are married. Because 29 and 31 are SOOOO OLLLLDDDD.

I know as soon as we are married that the scrutiny will be on.

On a similar note, when people ask you if you are feeling ok, and you are feeling just dandy. "Thanks for basically telling me I look like shit today"

melbenso

H and I have been married for 7 months.  We are in our mid to late thirties. I also gained about 10 pounds after the wedding.  Half way back to wedding weight.    At Thanksgiving, MIL made several comments about me eating for two.  My response of "No, I just really like pie," wasn't really what she wanted to hear.  But really, pie is good.

To be fair, H's sister is a bit (more than a bit) crazy, so we are pretty much her best hope for grandkids.  But we aren't sure whether we want to have kids.  So she may just have to suck it up.

sarahufl

Not sure when it became acceptable to point out someone's weight gain.

Oh, wait- it never did. God help the person who makes similar comments to me (pregnant or not!)

Sugargirl1019

Every month I get one or two breakouts that are impossible to hide with makeup (I normally don't have any skin issues...)

About 2 or 3 months ago a male coworker looked at me for like two days saying weird shit like "there is something different about you.." "You are glowing today" "Is there anything major going on in your life?" "Do you have any exciting news?"

I replied shortly that we were closing on our house soon and it was stressful, so thank you for commenting on my pimples and oily skin!!

decembergrl2014

A few years ago when I was teaching first grade all of the mothers came for a Mother's Day Tea. I was heavy at the time (170 lbs and I'm 5'1), so people thought I was pregnant. One mother gave me a gift with a card that said, "Happy Mother-To-Be Mother's Day".

princessleia22

I hate that shit.  I've been married 8 months.  Right before the wedding I switched birth control and had some other med changes during that time frame, which have caused me to gain about 20 lbs.  Luckily, I've had very few people actually say anything to me out loud, but I've definitely had the looks.  Most people we know are aware that we don't plan to have kids, especially since that was a popular question during wedding planning. I'm 35 and DH is 40, so they somehow thought it was appropriate to push the baby urgency on us? For most people, we just say we love our nieces, nephews, and dogs and that is enough for us... and we also love our money and freedom. Those that are very close to us know that pregnancy would be really bad for my existing back problems and we have reason to believe DH is sterile due to radiation from colon cancer, so babies really aren't in our cards.

The other day a coworker and I were talking about how we both need to start working out... I said I've been trying to eat better lately since I've put on some weight... he says, "yeah, I've noticed... I wondered if there was something more going on"... um, nope, not pregnant, just getting fat, thanks.

Pregnancy discussions = sex life info.  Yes, people love babies... I get that.  But, WHY do people think it's okay to ask about it?  "So, are go going to try to get pregnant?" is basically asking "So, are you and DH fucking regularly?"... eww, no... that is not okay for total strangers (or even non-strangers) to ask. 

 

KatieinBkln

princessleia22 said:

I hate that shit.  I've been married 8 months.  Right before the wedding I switched birth control and had some other med changes during that time frame, which have caused me to gain about 20 lbs.  Luckily, I've had very few people actually say anything to me out loud, but I've definitely had the looks.  Most people we know are aware that we don't plan to have kids, especially since that was a popular question during wedding planning. I'm 35 and DH is 40, so they somehow thought it was appropriate to push the baby urgency on us? For most people, we just say we love our nieces, nephews, and dogs and that is enough for us... and we also love our money and freedom. Those that are very close to us know that pregnancy would be really bad for my existing back problems and we have reason to believe DH is sterile due to radiation from colon cancer, so babies really aren't in our cards.

The other day a coworker and I were talking about how we both need to start working out... I said I've been trying to eat better lately since I've put on some weight... he says, "yeah, I've noticed... I wondered if there was something more going on"... um, nope, not pregnant, just getting fat, thanks.

Pregnancy discussions = sex life info.  Yes, people love babies... I get that.  But, WHY do people think it's okay to ask about it?  "So, are go going to try to get pregnant?" is basically asking "So, are you and DH fucking regularly?"... eww, no... that is not okay for total strangers (or even non-strangers) to ask. 

 

I mean, FOR REAL THO. I fully intend to treat any questions like this thusly:

[cocks head to the left] Huh. Why on earth are you asking me about my sex life?