Money NWR

JennyColada

katiekessler123 said:

Here's my big question, and there is no judgment attached to this, just curiosity: IF you have separate accounts, why did you decide to do that?  Most people seem to be splitting bills anyway, so why keep separate accounts?  Is it bc you will be bothered by what your husband is spending?  Or some other reason?  Truly just curious.  The thought of having separate accounts never even occurred to me.   

Personally, that's a little bit for me. I don't want DH to judge how much I spend on fast food or shopping, and DH is a little concerned that I'd spend all his money (which he's awknowledged is more his issue than mine, but I understand his worry).

He's also set a reasonable limit on the CC of his that I have (but I just use it for grocery shopping generally anyway, I have my own CCs for "fun" spending).

huskypuppy14

katiekessler123 said:

Here's my big question, and there is no judgment attached to this, just curiosity: IF you have separate accounts, why did you decide to do that?  Most people seem to be splitting bills anyway, so why keep separate accounts?  Is it bc you will be bothered by what your husband is spending?  Or some other reason?  Truly just curious.  The thought of having separate accounts never even occurred to me.   

We don't split things 50/50 other than the mortgage. I pay the gas and electric because I already had an account with them from our apartment. He pays the cable/internet, because he's home during the day (works 2nd shift) when they came to install it. It just worked out well that way.

He's not a roommate, he's my husband. I do find it strange that some people are splitting everything down to the penny. Oh I paid 60 dollars at the grocery store, you owe me 30? No, we don't do that.

 Other than adding each other to the accounts we already had, we kept the status quo. I didn't change my name for the same reason, it's easier. We had been living on our own for 10-15 years. If we were 23 and just starting out, maybe we would have joint accounts. 

We also both work, and we make enough money that we don't have to scrutinize every penny.

I could turn the question around on you? Why do you have a joint account? Neither is better than the other. It's what ever works for the couple in question.

ETA: If that's your real name, you should change your username.

katiekessler123

It's not my real name.  Actually, that's a good question.  I guess I look at marriage as being a team on more or less all major things in life, including money.  I like the idea that he trusts me to spend our money in a reasonable way and visa versa. Also, I like the idea of having our money merged so we can work as a team toward our mutual savings goals etc.   I feel like with our money merged we have so much more money than if it was separated.  I never worry about money, bc as a combined household we seem to have so much, and it's not like either of us are making three figures either...it's just having everything combined!  I guess to me, it seems more like a roommate relationship to have our money separated, than a husband wife relationship.   But, like I said before, we have VERY similar spending habits, and if we had different habits I would prob. feel differently.  To each their own, though. I more just curious about this than anything else.

huskypuppy14

katiekessler123 said:

It's not my real name.  Actually, that's a good question.  I guess I look at marriage as being a team on more or less all major things in life, including money.  I like the idea that he trusts me to spend our money in a reasonable way and visa versa. Also, I like the idea of having our money merged so we can work as a team toward our mutual savings goals etc.   I feel like with our money merged we have so much more money than if it was separated.  I never worry about money, bc as a combined household we seem to have so much, and it's not like either of us are making three figures either...it's just having everything combined!  I guess to me, it seems more like a roommate relationship to have our money separated, than a husband wife relationship.   But, like I said before, we have VERY similar spending habits, and if we had different habits I would prob. feel differently.  To each their own, though. I more just curious about this than anything else.

My husband and I are a team. We don't have to have one account with all our money in it, in order to be a team. I have 4 bank accounts just myself (3 savings, 1 checking) so I've never had all my own money in the same account anyway.  And like I said, my husband and I have similar spending habits too. 

JoanE2012

I have a checking account, DH has a checking acct and we have a joint checking and savings acct.  DH pays pretty much all the bills, I direct most of my paychecks to our joint account between vacation savings, house projects and general savings.  I don't understand married couples that truly split bills, but hey, to each their own.  Our process works for us, so we see no reason to change.

mrscomposer

We each have our own account, as well as two joint accounts.  One is for every day expenses (groceries, gas), and the other is for pre-auth bills (student loans, insurance, car payment, etc).  I make more money than J does (also, he's not working right now), so a pre-determined amount of money goes from my paycheque into the bills account every cheque to cover our monthly costs, and a pre-determined amount of money goes from his paycheque (when he's working) into the every day account to cover those expenses.  We each put a small amount into our own accounts from each cheque, and the rest goes towards savings/debt.

We have the separate accounts for gifts and things that we don't want the other person to see... plus I've been known to buy junk food from my private account.

katiekessler123

huskypuppy14- that's great and if that's what works for you, then awesome.  I was just answering your question.  Obviously this is an opinion based thing, and that's simply my opinion, but I clearly realize that everyone does their own thing when it comes to money management. 

lauraukoctober2014

I know somebody who is as room matie as a husband and wife as having their own cupboard and their own food that they eat?? If I am ever going on a diet which will eat up a lot of the food account then yes I buy my own food but it's house food to share.
Me and hubby are a bit of both. Hubby was established in his own house before I moved in and as it's never really been our intention to stop here forever we've never got round to putting my name on things so i transfer a couple of hundred over on payday to contribute perhaps when we move that'll change slightly. We have a joint account for food,we put a set amount in each but I generally control as I am better at managing day to say expenses than him but he has access to.
Other than that we are separate and have our own accounts, however as I regularly say whatever funds I've got are his and his mine, so if it came to it really they are joint accounts. We both know each other's pins etc
Only time it's ever "you owe me" is if I forget my card and I want something I don't need such as a handbag or a pair of shoes, but why should he pay my wardrobe? Etc
I generally take care of things like birthdays and Christmases Etc I'm just more organised and end up getting things sorted.

knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226

AddieCake said:

We have his, mine, and ours. We pay our bills, buy things for our house, and pay for activities together out of the joint account. Then we have our individual accounts to do what we want with, and we have an agreement not to buy anything over $100 w/o discussing it with each other.

We do the exact same thing.

Jells2dot0

I think in our case, a lot of it has to do with it being a second marriage. We both had joint accounts only when married to our previous spouses. We then both lived on our own for a bit prior to meeting and getting married again, so we become accustomed to independence. We both work for the same company, so we have the same insurance, same 401K plan, and same pension. We make similar salaries. We take care of each other, want to spend our time together, and we make decisions together. We just prefer to have left our "single" financial arrangement in place even though we now share our lives together.