Chit Chat

Let's talk about swimsuits.

tcnobletcnoble member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
edited February 2015 in Chit Chat
I know it's frigid cold in many parts of the country, but it's nearing 70s here in Vegas and we leave for our honeymoon to sunny Mexico in about a month so swimsuits are on the brain.

FI and I were talking at dinner about suits and I mentioned I has got two cute one pieces for the honeymoon. He asked why I didn't get a bikini (which I have worn in the past) and I said I didn't feel thin enough right now to wear one and felt less self conscious in a one piece. He said I won't know anyone where we are going so what do I care if they don't like me in a bikini?

Why do I care?!?

Im not a small girl. I'm 5'10" with some junk in the trunk, but because of my height I personally think I carry my weight well. I guess I would be considered plus size because sometimes my ass requires a size 16 (that demanding bitch). I do not, by any means, have a flat stomach, but my weight has never been a big issue for me. I just don't stress about it, though of course I wouldn't mind losing 10lbs. Wouldn't we all??

I guess I hesitate to wear a bikini because I don't fit the "typical" bikini stereotype. And I worry about looking like a beached whale, sipping my tropical beverage and filling my not so tiny tummy with whatever is on the menu that day. When you're on vacations, do you notice swimsuits on others and internally judge a little?? Do you not pay a second glance? What kind of swimsuit is your go to??

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Re: Let's talk about swimsuits.

  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    tcnoble said:


    I guess I hesitate to wear a bikini because I don't fit the "typical" bikini stereotype. And I worry about looking like a beached whale, sipping my tropical beverage and filling my not so tiny tummy with whatever is on the menu that day. When you're on vacations, do you notice swimsuits on others and internally judge a little?? Do you not pay a second glance? What kind of swimsuit is your go to?? Tell me everything!


    I do notice suits, but I'm don't judge about it unless it doesn't fit well.  I'm more interested in checking out what other people look like.  Maybe it's weird, but I've always been a little fascinated by the human body and how the same thing can also be so different.  

    I'm also checking out people comparing me to them in a way.  So if I see someone with sweet legs I check those out, almost trying to think if I'd look good too with those legs, if that makes sense.  Maybe I'm just a creeper.  But usually, I'm wrapped up in my book and don't care.  

    I'm a bikini girl on vacation.  1 pieces for me are for workouts.  I'm 5'6" and 130lbs, and pretty happy with me though, but I still have my spots that annoy me too.  And if I do check people out, it's usually cos I like how they look compared to me, if that makes sense.  Anyway, I am also a pasty white girl who hides under umbrellas, so I'm a pasty white girl at the end too.   
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  • amelishaamelisha Canadian Texas member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Truth? I'm judgey, I admit, but it's because I'm so insecure about my own body. When I'm at the pool or beach I am constantly looking at everyone else's bodies and trying to figure out how I compare. It's really unhealthy but it's for sure more about me than it is about everyone else. I pretty much just need to reassure myself that I'm not the fattest/bustiest/flabbiest whatever in the crowd. It's sick. Objectively, I know I'm not a big girl (I'm on the left in my profile pic if that puts it in perspective) but all I can see are the imperfections when I wear a swimsuit.

    I have some of those ruched 50s one pieces but they make me feel worse, like an elephant among the gazelles, lol. I feel like everyone is looking and wondering what I'm hiding.

    I realize how BSC this is going to sound but I've had some wine and honesty is prevailing here.

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  • amelisha said:

    Truth? I'm judgey, I admit, but it's because I'm so insecure about my own body. When I'm at the pool or beach I am constantly looking at everyone else's bodies and trying to figure out how I compare. It's really unhealthy but it's for sure more about me than it is about everyone else. I pretty much just need to reassure myself that I'm not the fattest/bustiest/flabbiest whatever in the crowd. It's sick. Objectively, I know I'm not a big girl (I'm on the left in my profile pic if that puts it in perspective) but all I can see are the imperfections when I wear a swimsuit.

    I have some of those ruched 50s one pieces but they make me feel worse, like an elephant among the gazelles, lol. I feel like everyone is looking and wondering what I'm hiding.

    I realize how BSC this is going to sound but I've had some wine and honesty is prevailing here.




    That's exactly how I am. I'll be super critical of others in suits because I'm so critical of myself in a suit. So while I feel like I notice everyone and their swimsuit, I just wonder if everyone else is the same way or has a more "I'm on vaca I'm not worried about people" attitude.
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  • I think I'm like you, not too heavy but definitely not the typical bikini-perfect body. At the end of the day, I think you should wear whatever makes YOU feel comfortable and sexy. I don't think I judge most average or moderately overweight girls. I'm probably more likely to sneer at the perfect Barbie Doll bodies on the beach and wonder why they don't seem to have anything better to do with their lives other than work on looking so perfect. So the judgement goes both ways, I guess.

    Personally, I don't like bikinis because most don't provide the amount of support that my chest requires. And I'm also really pale and sunburn-prone (redhead), so more skin exposure simply means more sunscreen that has to be slathered on, and that is a pain in the butt. But I DO love a cute swimsuit! I'm a big fan of tankinis that you can mix & match.

    By the way, I love that your FI wants to see you in a bikini regardless of your size. That's a good man - yay for you!
    vikinganna87tcnoblebeharrington
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I had a similar issue where H asked me to wear a bikini on our honeymoon. I gots the stomach pudge. I ended up getting a bikini at Target that I felt relatively comfortable in. 

    I don't really remember what anyone else looked like in their swimsuits, I was too busy drinking pina coladas. 

    I do get judgey about how people dress/look, but, and I'm sure you already know this, almost everything has some cut/style that is more flattering on your body then others. I found a bikini bottom that was slightly higher waisted and had a little mesh/lace overlay that balanced out my stomach better then a plain bikini cut. So, you can probably find a bikini that you feel comfortable and confident in.  
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  • mrscomposermrscomposer Mani-snow-ba member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer

    We're going through this right now - J is super excited to go to Miami in May because apparently it means I'll be wearing a bikini.  I asked why he wanted me in a bikini in Miami when he gets to see me naked every day for free, and his answer was "because I get to show you off!".

    Ugh.  Hello, workout.  I'm 5'8" and I carry my weight really well - everyone pegs me for being AT LEAST 40lbs lighter than I am.  I gain weight first (and fast) in my stomach, and we've done nothing but laze around and eat since the wedding.

    I do have some cute two pieces that I got last year for Jamaica, and am looking forward to wearing them again (maybe - if I can get my tummy under control in two and a half months).  I also have a really pretty ruched one piece that I love.

    I look when I'm on the beach, but I'm not really judgey.  It's more of a 'oh my gosh, I feel so bad/embarrassed for you that you look like that' sort of thing (like People of Walmart).  But, I'm a size 14 with a size 0 sister, so I've gotten used to feeling like a Ten Tonne Tessie beside a Barbie.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
  • hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 Where the skies are so blue member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I am always - ALWAYS - too wrapped up in my own head to notice other people. Occasionally I'll notice a girl with a cute suit, or I'll spot someone in a suit that doesn't exactly flatter them, but for the most part I'm too concerned about how shitty I look in swimsuits. I actively avoid shopping for them, haven't bought a bikini in years, and generally wear board shorts and a t shirt over my suit no matter what kind I wear.

    Why do we care, anyway, though? Like. If someone is judging me for my body, I will likely never know, and on top of that it more than likely stems from that person's body issues than any real problem my body size has caused them.

    I do look like a beached whale though. I'm 5'2" and 180. I wear a 14 or a 16, and I've got more than just a little pudge.
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  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I hate to admit it, but I will judge a little sometimes.  But honestly, I judge the way the people in the bikini are acting way more than the bikini itself, regardless of a person's size or level of attractiveness.  If you are acting confident in your bikini, I think "hey, that's nice, she's rocking her body."  If you act like a loud ass and are generally disruptive then I'm going to be way more likely to snark.

    I judge the shit out of myself though, but that's my own issue.  It's great for people to feel comfortable with their bodies, and sometimes I think I'm a little jealous of that.  Recently I've gained some weight, and I'm the heaviest I've ever been.  It's been really hard on me, especially since I already have some pretty bad body dysmorphia to begin with.  It's a lot easier for me to say, "You know what, she is really rocking that suit.  Good for her!" about someone else, but when it comes to myself, I can't even come close to the same sentiment.  

    If you want to wear a bikini, go for it.  Your FI wants to see you in one, and if you'll enjoy it, don't let what others *might* think hold you back.  


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  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited February 2015
    I might notice other's swimsuits if they're pretty or if I think there might be a wardrobe malfunction.  I never negatively judge someone on the beach or pool's body.  I'll check ladies out, but that's about it.  Also, "thinner" does not equal better body, in my opinion.  Examples of some women who are not super thin but look awesome:
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  • I say do what makes you comfortable!  Those high waist bikinis might be for you based on what you're saying.  I try not to judge, but in reality I'm sure I do without even realizing it.  My go to bathing suits are honestly super cheap target bikinis.  They are around $15 per piece, which is so cheap, but I love them and I know they fit me.  In general I am very petite, but I do have a booty, so I have to buy separates for sizing purposes. The target bottom accommodates my booty and you can buy separates. 
  • I'm an 18/20 and have always worn one pieces but after losing a bunch of weight I can't because my top and bottom are now two totally different sizes. This year I'm hoping to convince myself to at least try a high waisted bikini for my trip to FL this summer. You could try a tankini, too
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  • No one cares. I'm ghostly white and I never feel like anyone is judging me. And really, I can guarantee there will always be someone larger than you wearing a smaller bikini. And even if anyone besides yourself were to judge, why the fuck should you care?

    Plus, I think your FI was trying to say he wants to see you in a bikini because you're hot. ;) I know H never notices any of the little flaws I see in myself. I'm willing to bet your FI is the same way.
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm usually too busy hating my own body to be hating on others. 

    I do own both bikinis and one pieces. It's been a long time since I've been happy with my body, but I do still wear bikinis. Mostly because my H tells me how great I look and asks me to wear them. I'm trying really, really hard to love my body no matter what it looks like, and be OK with the body I have now. It's hard to accept that I don't have that cute little 25 year old body I had 10 years ago. That body was so easy to maintain. Ahh, the good old days. 

    Anyway, I know it's easier said than done. But rock the bikinis. You have a husband that love you and thinks you look hot them in. That right there is a great thing. 

  • I'm in the same boat. I'm only critical because I'm usually self conscious and hyper aware of all of my flaws. FI laughs when I say I feel thinner naked usually. Truth, though. 

    Also, I don't have the same body that can rock the string bikinis of my younger days. I think I'm finally getting over that and realizing I need to wear different cuts. I actually ordered two bottoms the other day that are more of a "mature" cut for my now bigger ass. I think it's really about wearing one that flatters you best, and there are tons of options now. 

    That being said, if anyone has any suggestions for their favorite retailer to get bikinis from throw it out there! 
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  • Honestly... I do notice sometimes, but only to be like "damn that chick doesn't care if she's not a VS model in that bikini; she's just enjoying the beach." And that helps me feel better.

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    climbingwifeashley8918
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
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    maeday2 said:

    I'm in the same boat. I'm only critical because I'm usually self conscious and hyper aware of all of my flaws. FI laughs when I say I feel thinner naked usually. Truth, though. 


    Also, I don't have the same body that can rock the string bikinis of my younger days. I think I'm finally getting over that and realizing I need to wear different cuts. I actually ordered two bottoms the other day that are more of a "mature" cut for my now bigger ass. I think it's really about wearing one that flatters you best, and there are tons of options now. 

    That being said, if anyone has any suggestions for their favorite retailer to get bikinis from throw it out there! 
    I get all of my bikinis from J Crew. I love them. 

  • I definitely notice other people but its more for the person who's ass is completely hanging out or someone who is too large for their suit.  I always figure well good for them they are comfortable like that, I may not think it is a good look but if that's what they want to wear it isn't going to ruin my day.


    Point being, wear whatever makes you comfortable.  Have you looked into tankinis? So I little more to show off that a one piece but still might feel more covered.

  • @maeday2 mine are all Target and VS.

    I actually don't own a one-piece, and haven't since 5th grade... I'm too long-waisted so they don't fit. :(

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  • Ditto to all the PP.  I think you should wear what makes you most confident! If that's a 1 piece or tankini, so be it!

    No matter your size, I think most people have parts of their body that they are self conscious about.  

    Post baby, my body has changed, and I know there are some things that good diet and exercise won't help, but I am still self conscious.  We're thinking of booking our honeymoon soon too, so those thoughts have crossed my mind!

    I came across a positive body image account on Instagram, and it is nice to see some non-model women that also look confident and beautiful!

    Here is their tumblr:

    doeydo
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
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    AlisonM23 Thank you for sharing that!

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  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2015
    I really only notice other people if they are obnoxious or wearing something totally crazy. I'm kind of a hippie at heart with my attempts at peace love and happiness. Ew right?


    I am 5'7 and 165 pounds at my lightest. I wear a 10/12 and I will rock a bikini. Why? I spent way too much time in my life worrying about what other people think of me. Now I realize that the only opinion about myself that matters is my own. Now I'm kind of self-centered so I really only notice myself and my friends.

    I like to wear high waisted ones with a halter top. I think they look best on me, despite the controversy over if high waisted makes your ass look weird or not. I am a big fan of VS, because of their tops. I like the ones that sorta look like a bra or the halters with underwire. I can get my bottoms at target NP because they support big booty. Everyone uses the same color schemes ever year, so don't be afraid to get separates from different stores. 

    The typical bikini stereotype is starving to death. If you look around, the only girls who look like models on the beach don't even have a beer or chips. How sad.

    I would rather be chubby and happy than skinny and hungry. Fuck that life. 

    My most recent two piece:


    I love this top. I dive in the water and swim a TON, and it never falls off. It makes me look like I have the perkiest tits ever.


    Not as big of a fan of these bottoms. They aren't as snug as I would like so they almost look grandma and not trendy. 

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    climbingwifetheartistformerlyknownas[Deleted User]
  • @maeday2 mine are all Target and VS.

    I actually don't own a one-piece, and haven't since 5th grade... I'm too long-waisted so they don't fit. :(

    Same exact problem. I spotted a cute romper yesterday with honeymoon in mind and even though I know I can't wear them, I tried it on. It was horrendous. 
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  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper

    I too scrutinize myself amongst others when I'm in a bathing suit.  I'm glad that the one piece bathingsuits are kind of trendy now because I feel most comfortable in those.  I got one from JCrew last year that I love, and I'm going to get one from Nordstrom before I leave for our wedding in April.

    I'm pear shaped, and I'm extremely self consicous of my hips butt and thighs.  So when I wear two pieces I look stupid and my thighs and butt are really accentuated.  With a one piece, it kind of lengthens my silhouette making me look normal again. 

    I really like these suits from Nordstrom:

    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/badgley-mischka-dip-back-maillot-swimsuit/3590676?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=2375500&fashionColor=Black&resultback=1521

    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/la-blanca-twist-front-bandeau-one-piece-swimsuit/3839114?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=2375500&fashionColor=Plum&resultback=7956

    I tried to find the one that I got from JCrew last year, but I couldn't find it.

     

     

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  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    I'm in the "these people don't know me so I don't fucking care what they think" camp. I only have bikinis, like lolo883 I haven't had a one piece since middle school.

    But I am particular about a shape that works for my body. The top has to be triangles. Any kind of strapless or bandeau flattens me and makes me look terrible. Bottoms have to have sides that tie. Ones that are sewn together like underwear pinch and squeeze the muffin top too much, so I have to get the ties so I can tie them just loose enough to avoid that.

                                                                     

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  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    Before our honeymoon, I told H that I was just going to wear tankinis and he was sad by this. I told him I didn't want people to judge me for being too "big" (even though I'm not) for a bikini. So I wore a bikini. I felt a little uncomfortable at first but realized these people would never see me again. Who care if they think I shouldn't wear a bikini?!

    I went through the same thing as you and I went with a bikini for H but I'm glad I did.

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    To be honest, I do judge people in their bathing suits.  But only if the suit does not fit, like if they look like they are wearing a soggy diaper or the bottoms are too small and low that their ass crack is dying to make an appearance.

    For myself I have rarely felt comfortable in a bikini.  Even on my HM I still felt self conscious, even though I was in the best shape of my life and was actually pretty happy with my body.  So I am more of a tankini wearer and last year I bought a one piece that had some rouching and a sweetheart neckline which made me feel pretty decent.

    I am kind of dreading bathing suit shopping this year because I have gained weight from last year and nothing is worse then trying on bathing suits in horribly lit dressing rooms when you are as pale as a ghost.

    So basically I don't wear bikinis because I don't feel comfortable/good in them, not because I am worried that others will be looking at me with some disgusted look.

  • I check out everyone on the beach to see what they are wearing. . . . partially because I am intrigued by fashion, and partially because I love seeing people with body confidence.  I am a small framed person and I just bought a monokini for Jamaica because I know we will be hanging at a beach bar all day on at least one day and I don't want tummy rolls on display.  DH thinks I am crazy, and deep inside I know it's silly too.  I feel like I get a confidence boost seeing other ladies flaunt what they have irrespective of their size.  I am a firm believer that you can look sexy at any size, it's the fit of the clothes/bathing suit and more importantly, the attitude!

    BTW, Target has some adorable monokinis right now. . . . I kinda love their entire bathing suit collection.
  • Great thread!  I need to go get a suit, since the wedding/honeymoon is rapidly approaching. 

    I wear 2 pieces.  Normally I wear shorts for the bottoms, I'm also pear shaped so my ass/thighs/hips are a full size or 2 bigger than my top, and I have cellulite..  I like halter tops so I can tie them tight around my chest to keep them controlled. 

    As far as judging others, I typically don't.  Wear what you want or your partner wants.  My FI always tells me he loves every inch of me, even the parts I don't like.  I know he wants me in a 2-piece, and fuck what anybody else may think.  (as if they'll even be able to see me - my white skin will probably blind people from the sun glinting off of it) 

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I don't think I judge negatively. People come in all shapes and sizes, so if I see someone (meaning 99.9% of the population) rocking a bikini and not looking like a VS model, I generally think (if I think anything), "Hey, they have confidence."

    I am more likely to notice fellow women who look great- whether it's a mom in an adorable tankini, or a young woman who is nicely toned. 

    I have worn the one-piece rouched before for two reasons: 1) I'm incredibly pale and it saves on sunscreen and 2) I don't like my stomach.  The fact is I've always been petite and flat-chested and carry fat on my belly. Rather than womanly curves, I have bumps in odd places. The bottoms of my ribs poke out over my muffin top.  
    That being said, I LOVE Victoria's Secret suits. For the first time, I feel confident at the beach because of my push-up triangle top. My top finally balances out my bottom, even if it's all padding, it makes me feel a lot better. I've noticed that VS tends to have a variety of styles so I would think women of all sizes should find something flattering. 
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  • buttercup1958buttercup1958 Blue Smokey Mountains
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Urg, I hate bathing suit shopping. I usually wear a halter top because those look the best on me and board shorts for bottoms. My legs always rub together when I walk so if I don't then my legs are in pain by the end of the day.  I'm alittel hairy body wise too, I feel like it stands out even more since I'm pale I always worry that someone will think I'm a big foot.
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