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Worried I am going to hate my wedding pictures. Vent.
I am 20-30 lbs heavier than my FI. It's not that I am that much overweight- it's just that he is a petite man. I love him dearly,he is the BEST person I know, but I HATE how we look in pictures next to each other. I look massive. Throughout our relationship, I have solved for this by taking selfies where only our faces/upper body shows. I really really have tried really hard to not let it bother me, but over the course of our relationship, I have gained 10-15 lbs. Last September, before we even got engaged, I went to work trying to lose the weight and I am 5 lbs away from where I was before I met him. Great, right? Well I still have 20 to go until I can honestly say that I way the same or less than him (he is 2 inches taller than me) and reach what would the high end of the normal BMI chart. I work out 4-5 times a week (I do Crossfit, run, do pilates) and I track my calories, but every week I weigh myself, I take my measurements, and I am just not getting there as fast as I need to to reach my goal. It's just been such a slow process. 10 lbs and 1 inch in each measurement category in 6 months is nothing to brag about.
It occurred to me today because I've had so little progress and that I am now less than 6 month away from my wedding, that I may not get to my goal and that I may hate how my wedding pictures look because of this. I am just so discouraged. We did our engagement pictures in January, and I spent a day crying over them when we got them back. We ended up (of course) only using the pictures that were close up head shots. I eventually consoled myself with the fact that these could be see as my "before weight loss pictures". Now that I am 2 months further in the process and still barely seeing results, I am deathly afraid that I am going to HATE my wedding pictures. I am envisioning our parents so excited and me crying myself to sleep over them. I should note that FI parents are also tiny- his mom and sister share their size 2 wardrobe. I come in at a 10-12.
It occurred to me today because I've had so little progress and that I am now less than 6 month away from my wedding, that I may not get to my goal and that I may hate how my wedding pictures look because of this. I am just so discouraged. We did our engagement pictures in January, and I spent a day crying over them when we got them back. We ended up (of course) only using the pictures that were close up head shots. I eventually consoled myself with the fact that these could be see as my "before weight loss pictures". Now that I am 2 months further in the process and still barely seeing results, I am deathly afraid that I am going to HATE my wedding pictures. I am envisioning our parents so excited and me crying myself to sleep over them. I should note that FI parents are also tiny- his mom and sister share their size 2 wardrobe. I come in at a 10-12.
I'm just so frustrated!
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Re: Worried I am going to hate my wedding pictures. Vent.
Now that I've said that serious (but true) stuff, let's be silly! Who says you need to be the one who gets smaller? Just work on fattening up your FI! Start slipping extra butter into his food. Fill the freezer with ice cream. Encourage him to have another beer.
I have a good 100 or so lbs on my FI. I HATED my engagement pictures. The attached one (we had heads in the original, don't worry) specifically because FI looked like had t-rex arms because I am so fat. I sat there crying looking at these pictures because I hated them. FI asked what was wrong, and I told him I was fat, ugly and I hated myself. You know what he told me?
You don't have to love yourself, because I love you more than enough for the both of us.
Your pictures are a physical reminder of how much love you had at your wedding, of all the great things that happened that day. He loves you for you.
How do you feel about showing us your engagement pictures?
I bet we can tell you 100 things that are beautiful about the pictures.
The seamstress should not critique your body, that would be so unprofessional and appalling of her! And, assuming your FSIL/FMIL are decent people they would be appalled by any less than positive comments on your body during your fitting!
I think PPs have covered the necessity for self love things pretty well so I'm just going to address the slow weight loss -
I struggle with weight loss too and it should be slow to be healthy and consistent. You don't want to just lose weight you want to be healthy. That said I totally understand the frustration! Your results do sound slower than they should be if you are truly being consistent with dieting and exercise. Have you ever considered getting a personal trainer or seeing a nutritionist? They may be able to give you some guidance on what sort of diet/exercise will work best for you. You also might want to consider talking to your doctor just to make sure there's nothing medical hindering your weight loss.
But really any progress is progress to be proud of.
Is your diet being controlled by a physician? If you are losing weight at such a slow rate even with all that exercise, perhaps there is another reason why you are not losing weight. A doctor may be able to run tests to figure out if there is something more going on. And sorry to say, but boobs are almost always the first thing to go when a female starts dieting.
I also think your FI is right that you should cut back on your Crossfit to make time for the therapist. I think therapy will be much more beneficial to you than any exercise could be.
Also, don't worry about what size your FILs are or what size anyone else is. Comparing yourself to other people will never benefit you. Getting to a point of higher self-esteem will benefit you, so again, make time for the therapist.
I agree with Kat. Show us your pictures so we can show you the love