FMIL & future marriage woes.

tpwkalyn

I know I've already said it once, but I felt the need to say "thank you" again for all of y'all's advice. It's sincerely appreciated, every single comment.

I told FI that we need to have a talk tonight when I get off work, so when that happens I will update

vikinganna87

It sounds like you and FI have a great relationship and that you're very supportive of FI.  However, it seems like you're at different stages in your life and may not want the same things right now.  It's understandable that FI is still very reliant on his family considering the epilepsy.  It's wonderful that he's been seizure-free for three years. When you consider this (3 years isn't really *that* long), his professional progression, confidence and goals for the future are likely to evolve at a different pace than yours - and that's completely okay. 

You seem very goal-oriented and mention a couple of times that you want a nice house.  Even if you really want to get married in November, the timing could be off.  I just sense that you may need to step on the brakes and have a serious talk with FI about what each of your dreams and goals are.  For him, graduating and managing a part-time job may be the only thing he can think about now without getting overwhelmed.  And there's nothing wrong with that, but it seems like that might not be enough for you right now.  Although there are many things in life you can accomplish with concrete goals and sheer will, relationships don't work like that.  Financially and emotionally, it seems like you're doing a disproportionate amount of the work.