• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Pre-wedding Parties

Bachelorette Party Planning - Hotel Booking Advice Needed!

So, I'm the MOH in my best friend's wedding. She has lived out of state for the past 10 years or so, but we've remained close taking girls weekends together and talking often.

She has a clique of local friends where she's gone to all of their bachelorette parties and inviting them to hers, of course. The norm in their circle is for one person to book EVERYONE'S hotel on their one CC and then the other girls mail them a check before the party of the amount they owe. Some girls are local, so not everyone will need a hotel - it's not a destination bachelorette (only for me & her other bridesmaid who needs to travel!!).

I am not comfortable footing the bill for everyone and them mailing the check to me when I don't even personally know them. I'm just not comfortable with it and honestly I don't understand why they do it that way when they're all adults and should be able to figure out their own accommodations if they plan to drink THAT much.

Is it appropriate to just let them know where the bride & I are staying and advise that if they want a room - here's the link to the hotel?

Interested to see how others' arrange these! I've never planned one before.


Re: Bachelorette Party Planning - Hotel Booking Advice Needed!

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    So, I'm the MOH in my best friend's wedding. She has lived out of state for the past 10 years or so, but we've remained close taking girls weekends together and talking often.

    She has a clique of local friends where she's gone to all of their bachelorette parties and inviting them to hers, of course. The norm in their circle is for one person to book EVERYONE'S hotel on their one CC and then the other girls mail them a check before the party of the amount they owe. Some girls are local, so not everyone will need a hotel - it's not a destination bachelorette (only for me & her other bridesmaid who needs to travel!!).

    I am not comfortable footing the bill for everyone and them mailing the check to me when I don't even personally know them. I'm just not comfortable with it and honestly I don't understand why they do it that way when they're all adults and should be able to figure out their own accommodations if they plan to drink THAT much.

    Is it appropriate to just let them know where the bride & I are staying and advise that if they want a room - here's the link to the hotel?

    Interested to see how others' arrange these! I've never planned one before.

    Yes, that is completely appropriate.  As you said, they are adults and can certainly book their own room if they wish to stay the night in the hotel.

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think it's weird that they wouldn't be booking their own hotel rooms. The only times my friends and I have done that is when we're renting an entire house. Then one person will book the house and we'll all send our checks for the cost. But I think you're totally fine to provide them the link the hotel and basically tell them they're on their own for reservations. 

  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    Yes, that's totally fine. That's probably what I would do.

    Also, if you change your mind and decide to book for everyone- you must ask everyone's budgets privately before booking if you end up requiring that everyone stay in the same place. It's not appropriate to just make plans and then "invoice" everyone else after the fact without consulting them.

    (I know you weren't saying this is what you're doing, but just in case you do this for other activities or whatnot).

    Formerly martha1818

    image


  • Who cares what they do in their circle? What you have planned is totally appropriate and takes all the complication out of booking. If you feel so inclined, you could get a courtesy block of rooms to lock in a good rate and ask the hotel to put you all in the same hall (if they can).
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2015

    Thanks for the responses! Sometimes it's hard to say no when the feedback you get is "but this is what we always do!" Seriously?! No wonder every party she's told me about ends up with some sort of drama.

    @lovegood90 - the bride chose the hotel and discussed it with me, so I'm happy to pay for our room. It's a very nice hotel and expensive, but I'm happy to spend it on her and she splurged for mine as well! I understand what you're saying and I wouldn't want to "require" anyone to spend that kind of money, so if they want to spend the night somewhere, but don't want to spend that much they can make other arrangements w/o feeling awkward about going someplace cheaper that's away from the "party".


    lovegood90
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I'd be willing to bet that quite a few of those ladies are sick of "always" doing it that way and are waiting for someone else to put their foot down.



    Anniversary
    image

    image
    [Deleted User]lnixon8
  • I'd be willing to bet that quite a few of those ladies are sick of "always" doing it that way and are waiting for someone else to put their foot down.

    QFT
  • Yeah what you want to do is fine. 

    If you do want to do it for everyone, have them pay you up front, especially since you don't know them.
  • This occasionally happens in our circle as well. But it's super annoying to chase after people for money so if FI and I plan anything, after we have an approx.  headcount, we contact the hotel/tour agency/whatever and see if they will hold a few spots and people have to call in their card on their own. Something you could try.
  • I swear I found a website recently that lets you plan a trip and have people contribute their share individually but damned if I can remember what it was.
    image
  • UPDATE: We're trying to get a head count together and the bride wants to do it that way and is willing to put up her card for it. She respected and understood why I didn't want to and is that insistent that it will make it easier for her friends! I told her she was nuts and doesn't have to/shouldn't put herself in that position, but some people just want to do what they want to do.

    Thanks for your 2 cents, ladies!

    adettma32
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards