Postpone the wedding

Dancenee

So I have been planning my wedding for the past ten months and I am sick of it. I still have four months to go and I personally can not stomach dealing with all the family drama and opinions for much longer. I thought weddings were a joyous occasion but our families have made this process very difficult. My family members have been making really nasty remarks, my FH's family has decided to remind me of what is wrong with my wedding, and my mother had made more threats about the wedding than I can count (She has stated she won't show up, she is going to wear a swanky dress, she will probably show up late, she will give people the wrong directions, really?). I think I am fed up with everyone and want to go back the drawing board on this. FH doesn't care, he's had it with our families as well. 

My aunt has contributed money and I am so tired of her making remarks about my weight I am tempted to just return her contribution. Also, I recently resigned from my job because boss was bullying me,among other things, and telling me there is nothing I can do as I have a wedding I to pay for. I'm not concerned about the money but I am losing my sanity over this wedding. I reached out to OOT friends and family to see if they have purchased airline tickets and no one has yet. I was told that my wedding was not their priority at the moment. I thought I was begin courteous by checking everyone's travel plans before I made the decision. I am opened to your suggestions or opinions on the subject. Thanks!

mikenberger

Dancenee said:

So I have been planning my wedding for the past ten months and I am sick of it. I still have four months to go and I personally can not stomach dealing with all the family drama and opinions for much longer. I thought weddings were a joyous occasion but our families have made this process very difficult. My family members have been making really nasty remarks, my FH's family has decided to remind me of what is wrong with my wedding, and my mother had made more threats about the wedding than I can count (She has stated she won't show up, she is going to wear a swanky dress, she will probably show up late, she will give people the wrong directions, really?). I think I am fed up with everyone and want to go back the drawing board on this. FH doesn't care, he's had it with our families as well. 

My aunt has contributed money and I am so tired of her making remarks about my weight I am tempted to just return her contribution. Also, I recently resigned from my job because boss was bullying me,among other things, and telling me there is nothing I can do as I have a wedding I to pay for. I'm not concerned about the money but I am losing my sanity over this wedding. I reached out to OOT friends and family to see if they have purchased airline tickets and no one has yet. I was told that my wedding was not their priority at the moment. I thought I was begin courteous by checking everyone's travel plans before I made the decision. I am opened to your suggestions or opinions on the subject. Thanks!

You don't have to postpone anything if you two want to get married. Give back the money from your Aunt, so then if she has something further to say, you can tell her where to put it. 

I would avoid the families until absolutely necessary. You don't have to talk to them about anything wedding related. Just times they need to be places, if they need to be places and that's it. They try to engage you, bean dip them.

Heffalump

If I were in your shoes, I'd say fuck 'em, elope ASAP, and live happily ever after.

KatWAG

ELOPE.

*Barbie*

it's just a party. 

give back your aunt's money. 

elope somewhere fun if your can afford it (wedding/honeymoon combo) or JOP it and go our for a nice dinner afterwards if it's more budget friendly. 

LD1970

If they're not paying, they don't get input, so stop talking to them about it.  Send them invitations, and if they show up, great.  If not, that's their loss.

If they are paying, give the money back.  Figure out a way to pay for it yourselves (H & I did this and I still have no idea where we pulled the money from, since we didn't do credit cards for it) or just go to the town hall & get married.  Be done with it.

My parents offered to pay for our whole wedding, but when my mother turned into the overbearing control freak she tends to be, we refused the cash and took back our planning.  After that, if she tried to get crazy, I just told her if she didn't stop, H & I would be heading to our town hall and I'd let her know when we'd gotten married.  We didn't have to resort to that, but it was always an option.

MesmrEwe

First, stop talking details with these people.  Respond with "I'll take that into consideration" and put it in the round file... As for the snide weight remarks, unless this person is a professional athlete level nutritionist/dietician with IFBB names on her client list, or a physician, her comments mean nothing about your weight/health.  Or return the favor and saying "I was just admiring my body in the mirror this AM, gosh I look good naked!"...  Should shut her right down, and yea, I'd probably return the money if it's too overpowering... 

It's more about how you're choosing to react in these situations that only you can control.  It's not about the wedding date, just get the details wrapped up (remember to include a good map with your invitations so that part isn't an issue).  If your Mom chooses to dress like a hoochie or show up after you've already walked down the aisle, that's on her, not you, people will see it for what it is, and it's nothing to do with you!  Just roll with things because you're causing yourself to get stressed out over things that you have no control over..

downtondiva

Return the money to whoever is giving you a hard time and plan a wedding you and FI can afford on your own, even if that means eloping. As others have said, stop talking about the wedding with these family members and just send them invites when the time comes. If they show up, great, if they don't...well, you might just have more fun without them!