I am in need of some advice. One of my bridesmaids has turned into an
emotional wreck. She was very excited when I got engaged. She
was thrilled when I asked her to be in my bridal party. However, as time
has gone on she has become very dramatic. She finds a way to make every
wedding-related event about her and how sad she is that she's single.
She has started posting man-hating statuses on Facebook almost daily. My mom made a
sweet, encouraging comment on her most recent post and she nearly bit my
mom's head off.
When we went wedding dress shopping, she ended up
getting all emotional because she found a dress (wedding dress, mind
you! she doesn't have a boyfriend, and why was she shopping for herself during my appointment?) that she wanted to try on. My consultant had already mentioned
that they don't let people who are not engaged try on wedding dresses as
it is a waste of their time. She spent the whole ride back to her car
in silence and informed me the next day that she cried all night long.
I have tried my very best to be supportive of her and encouraging to her. I understand how hard it can be to watch your friends get married when you are single. I have been there many times! We have girls' nights pretty regularly where we don't even talk about wedding stuff. Not to be selfish, but her negativity is really taking some of the fun out of the planning process. I really need my bridal party to be supporting me and helping me; not turning every wedding-related event into a drama fest. What should I do??

Re: HELP!!! Bridesmaidzilla!!!
You do not need your bridal party to support and help you. That is your FI's job, because you and FI are the ones getting married. You need her to show up sober on your wedding day in the appropriate dress, and ideally not burst into tears during your vows. So you can cross that one off your list.
Frankly, she sounds a little off kilter. I mean, it's one thing to see a dress while you're shopping and think "Oh, that's beautiful, I'd like something like that." It's quite another to cry about it all night. If it were me, I would approach it like any other friend who seems to be behaving strangely: I'd be worried about her. Take her out for coffee, or drinks, or whatever, tell her that you're concerned that she seems unhappy, and ask her if she wants to talk about it. Definitely leave the wedding out of this conversation--no mention of "I really need your help and support with the wedding" etc.
2. I have non-wedding related conversations with her nearly every day
3. I didn't have a clue she had been wanting to try on a dress while we were at the bridal store. She told me about it the next day.
4. Anything like this that I have known of in the past was family-related. Because I am her friend, all I ever got was her side of the story and in turn assumed that her family was keeping drama stirred up.
5. Anything she has helped with she has specifically asked if she could do, like dress shopping with me. I have tried to get as much done by myself as possible so I don't add more to my BM's already busy lives
6. We've had multiple conversations about what is going on in her life. I don't know how to offer her any more support or encouragement than I already have
So, your real issue is that she didn't magically change her behavior for YOUR good thing despite 10 years of evidence that she's either not capable or not interested in doing so?
How have you handled all the other times she's gotten like this? Employ those methods now.
It sucks that you have a drama llama for a friend who is unhappy with her own life, but you had 10 years of evidence of this and picked her to be a bridesmaid anyway. As others have pointed out, your FI is the one you have for support and help. It's your wedding, not hers. There's nothing for her to "help" with - being a bridesmaid isn't about what the bridal party can do for you in your party planning, it's about you honoring your friend(s) and your friendship by having them stand up for you at your ceremony. Period. The required elements of that are showing up on the wedding day in the appropriate attire and being sober enough to walk a straight line down the aisle. So, involve her to the extent that is required and leave it be for the rest of it since it is not required of her and clearly too emotional for her. Tend to your friendship the way you would if there weren't a wedding involved.