My niece is getting married this summer and just found out that one of her bridesmaids was trying, and was successful, in starting a family nine months before the wedding date. Her bridesmaid's due date is close to the wedding date, and my niece is torn between feeling happy for her friend but also let down that she has to worry whether her friend will go into labor on her wedding day or be so late in her pregnancy that she won't want to participate. Obviously no one needs to ask the bride when they can start their family but is she wrong to feel let down by her friend? I should add that when colors were picked and dresses selected her friend knew she was pregnant but didn't tell my niece.
Re: pregnant bridesmaid
Oh jesus-fucking-christ-tap-dancing-on-a-cracker-in-a-canoe, this topic again, I swear we get this at least once a week. What does your niece need help with exactly? Did she knock up the bridesmaid and doesn't know how to tell her fiancé? Did the bridesmaid announce she plans to have an induced water birth on the dance floor during the reception?
she will be there or she won't be there this is not the end of the world, nor is this something to get your panties in a twist over nor does it take anything away from the fact that your niece is marrying the person she loves.
The wedding is bride's day? Is she only marrying herself? Doesn't there have to be at least one other consenting adult in order for it to be a wedding?
ETA: 2 Joan GIFS makes me so happy.
I say this as someone who, just last month, had to tell her sister-in-law I can no longer stand up in her fall wedding. DH and I were TTC when she asked me to be a bridesmaid, and as luck/fate/Mother Nature would have it my due date is exactly her wedding date. We're super excited that SIL is getting married, and sad that we won't be there to celebrate with her, as travel to her destination will be out of the question but are realistic: our family plans are our family plans and hers are hers. No one, from SIL to her fiance to my ILs, has suggested in anyway that we are letting anyone down because of the timing of two important events.
Additionally, we did not tell SIL immediately when I found out I was pregnant. We deliberately waited until the end of my first trimester before telling most of our families. Depending on the timing of dress shopping, your niece's friend my have not felt ready to share her news, and she should not be penalized for that.
The pregnant bridesmaid will be there, or she won't be, but it doesn't need to be a big deal unless people choose to make it one.
I don't understand why you are involving yourself in this situation.
The only appropriate response to a pregnant bridesmaid is congrats.
I don't understand why putting your clothing on for a wedding is a group activity requiring photo journalistic documentation. I don't hire a photographer every time I do my hair and make up to go out for a night on the town.
No one ever makes the Groom and GMs get dressed together and photographs that.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
H and his GMs (as well as the BMs) were already dressed by the time the photographer was supposed to show up, by design - I did not want or need any getting-ready pictures. Why.
The second shooter went into the adjacent room where the guys were while the photog was taking detail pictures of my shoes, rings, etc. and had them fake adjusting their cuff links and H's dad adjusting his tie. They made fun of their "fake memories" the whole day... but yes, they sort of do the bolded sometimes.
I just meant I have never known a bride or groom to require all of the GM's meet up in the same room and get dressed with the groom, all the while a photog is flitting about getting obnoxious candids while people are trying to get dressed.
That BS seems to be reserved to the women only.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
And it is the bride's day. It's the groom's day too but we are talking about the bride and her bridesmaid. It's not the guests' day. They attend and celebrate with you but it's not their day.
Getting ready and being present with the bride on her day (or groom's day if you all want to complain about that too) is very important to the bride. It's not "nonsense."
Your niece has the right to feel bummed that her friend can't be a bridesmaid or may not be able to attend. I'm sure your niece is also very excited her friend!