So, we've been planning on our wedding being on Nov 1, 2015 for about a year now. We had a venue, then decided we didn't want it because of all these hidden costs we found. Fine, done. We totally revamped what we wanted for our wedding... now, you don't have to agree, you just need to know what we want!
* Destination wedding! But with a spin! We found an AMAZING 10 bedroom house with a killer outdoor area. We go to this beach, everyone we invite just has to get there & we pay for the house. This is our gift to the closest of friends & family members for making the 5 hour drive to the beach, and/or flight for the furthest of his family. This location is actually about 1/2 way between everyone invited! We're having no more than 20 people & no kids are invited except the flower girl & ring bearer.
We get the house on Nov 1. We can't have the wedding on Nov 1. If we did that, we'd be asking these parents to leave their children behind on Halloween to be able to attend the rehearsal the day before. Which is also a groomsman's birthday. We're just not going to ask that of these people who mean a lot to us.
So, check in on Nov 1. People start showing up on Nov 2, rehearsal day. Nov 3, wedding day. Nov 4, hang out day! Just eat, drink & be married!! Maybe nurse the hang over! Nov 5, check out day.
In Florida, all the rates go down starting November 1. By $3000 at most locations. For the specific house I described above, $1600.
And I hate EVERYTHING about October. I can't explain what may have happened to me to dislike it so much, but the evil spirit, witch, ghost thing that society has made it... I just don't like it. I don't even like the color orange. Irrational, I know, but that doesn't make me like it any more! I LOVE November because people start all the lights & decorations for Christmas! I'm not a religious person, but I LOVE the season! Around here, Idk why people start Nov 1, but they do! Some people start before Halloween!
My parents have been aware of Nov 1 for month now. They sent me a text message a week ago saying "Booking a 50 day Euro cruise on Oct 30, so you'll need to watch the dogs." 4 dogs & 2 cats, by the way.
I immediately called them. I reiterated our wedding time frame. They said "It's a once in a life time thing! Please don't make us miss it! We won't go on any more cruises before this one!" (Because I'm the appointed dog caretaker in their mind, screw whatever I have going on in my life... )
The conversation continued to them saying this cruise happens once per year..
So, this "once in a lifetime cruise that happens every year" is more important to my wedding?
We go talk to them. My dad says to my fiance "So we're booking that cruise!" Fiance: "You're going to miss our wedding then..." Dad: (Shrugs his shoulders with a look of disdain) "Oh well."
They tell us how they're getting this amazing deal that's for this one cruise only & it's the only time my dad will get to go to Italy (he's Italian) & laying on the guilt trip big time. I looked over to my fiance & said I feel bad... And I did.
My dad comes back into the room as we tell them the updated wedding time frame. He starts yelling about the date, then that we're having a destination wedding & he'll have to drive there. They said "So we're going to have to drive 9 hours, attend the wedding, then drive back 9 hours?" Because they disregarded everything we had JUST said about the staying there the week. BUT they apparently don't want to be there for the rehearsal or the reception.
We go back to the drawing board, find a different house, still $1000 difference to have it in October vs November. Can't find a big enough house for any less. Even tried finding 2 houses side by side. No go.
We tell them "If we have in October, will you ay the difference so you can go on your cruise?" They said no & that it's not up to them to pay for other people's accommodations, that we're not being "traditional" and that were doing everything wrong. Also, 9 hours is too far of a drive for them.
It's only 5 hours, so idk where 9 comes from.
I reply "If the location is that big of an issue, why change the dates?"
They refuse to help financially, and the way I see it, they don't get a say. If they want to be there, they'll be there. But then again, my dad is like a child. He walked away when we were there talking, slammed the door behind him & threw things around the room. If they DO come to the wedding instead of the cruise, am I going to be on edge the whole time by them nagging out how they could've been on a cruise??
On the one hand: I move my dates, get a wedding anniversary that's in a month I hate for the rest of my life, pay at least an extra $1000 for it (I asked them if they'd pay the difference to move it around for them, they said no), & get a different house that is less spectacular than the original because the original is booked already. They get to go on their cruise.
On the other hand: I get my November wedding, save a couple thousand dollars, and they decide to go on the cruise and miss my wedding, or they don't cruise and b*tch about it for who knows how long. Because they are the King & Queen of b*tching and playing the guilt trip cards until they get what they want.
Am I being rude or mean by "denying" them this cruise? The date worked for them & everyone else until they found something better to do...