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I RSVP'D "no" for the first time!!!

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Re: I RSVP'D "no" for the first time!!!

  • Scottie17Scottie17 member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    bubblegum: I decline for (1) money reasons; (2) time; (3) if I don't want to take the relationship "to the next level".

    Looks like a lot of people feel the same way!
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2015
    photokitty said:

    STARMOON44 said:




    Didn't read to the end, but want to address this. So if it was already pointed out, my bad.

    It's not just about sports, but also other relationships. I go to every home football game. In the last 5 years I have missed 2, one bc I sprained my ankle and couldn't walk and another for one of my best friend's mother's funeral - both unexpected events. He knows damn well that had he planned his wedding on a football home game I would have missed his wedding. I tailgate with roughly 30 friends every home game. We are very close. We spend the entire day together. These are people I want to be with and want to spend time with. Why does my choosing to spend time with these friends at a sporting event make me a terrible friend? If I had plans for family dinner and skipped your wedding would you revaluate your friendship with me?



    ETA - I have declined weddings on football Saturdays, but not soley bc of the game. I have also attending one wedding of a cousin on a home football Saturday. I was not pleased, but I love him, so I went. I was super pissed when he had his wife tell my sister and I a snarky comment about why he declined our weddings and how the dates we selected didn't work for him. I wasn't offend at all that he couldn't attend, until the snarky comment.


    So that's 8 times a year, every year, you see this group of people.  A lot of people only ever get married once in their entire lifetime. . . see what I'm getting at?

    But it looks like you *would* prioritize a wedding over a football game for a close family member or friend, since you begrudgingly went to your cousin's wedding.
    photokitty said:




    You will
    never pick a date that works for everyone, but judging people bc they
    have plans that they prioritize above your wedding makes for a very
    annoying SS.


    Not exactly.  We judge everyone for everything all.the.time on these boards. 

    If judging other women for wearing white to a wedding doesn't make you a SS, then being pissed because your best friend since childhood skipped your wedding to go to a football game shouldn't either.  That is naturally going to make most people very hurt.

    People on these boards say all the time- actions have consequences.  Wedding invitations are not summons, and we can prioritize football games, boxing matches, conventions etc. over weddings.  But that doesn't make us exempt from being judged for our choices, whether we feel the judgement is warranted or not.  That's just life.  And people tend to get judgey when their feelings are hurt.

    Now, moaning and bitching openly to other people, all the time, about how your BFF choose a football game over your wedding- that would make you an annoying SS.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    PrettyGirlLost said:


    photokitty said:

    STARMOON44 said:




    Didn't read to the end, but want to address this. So if it was already pointed out, my bad.

    It's not just about sports, but also other relationships. I go to every home football game. In the last 5 years I have missed 2, one bc I sprained my ankle and couldn't walk and another for one of my best friend's mother's funeral - both unexpected events. He knows damn well that had he planned his wedding on a football home game I would have missed his wedding. I tailgate with roughly 30 friends every home game. We are very close. We spend the entire day together. These are people I want to be with and want to spend time with. Why does my choosing to spend time with these friends at a sporting event make me a terrible friend? If I had plans for family dinner and skipped your wedding would you revaluate your friendship with me?



    ETA - I have declined weddings on football Saturdays, but not soley bc of the game. I have also attending one wedding of a cousin on a home football Saturday. I was not pleased, but I love him, so I went. I was super pissed when he had his wife tell my sister and I a snarky comment about why he declined our weddings and how the dates we selected didn't work for him. I wasn't offend at all that he couldn't attend, until the snarky comment.


    So that's 8 times a year, every year, you see this group of people.  A lot of people only ever get married once in their entire lifetime. . . see what I'm getting at?

    But it looks like you *would* prioritize a wedding over a football game for a close family member or friend, since you begrudgingly went to your cousin's wedding.


    The point is, I had a prior obligation with people I chose to be with over the person getting married. Obviously there are some people I would prioritize over spending time with those friends, for example my cousin, bc I didn't want to offend my family. Not bc I wanted to be at his wedding more than I wanted to be at my prior commitment, but bc I felt obligated to go. He didn't share the same sentiment for my sister's or my weddings, so looking back I wish I hadn't canceled my plans to attend his wedding.

    It doesn't matter how often I see these people, 8 times or every day of the year. It doesn't matter if you get married once a lifetime or every other year. Your wedding will never be as important to anyone else as it is to you and your spouse. To judge people for having a life outside your wedding is rude. We always say, check with your VIPs - if you are going to be upset if I pick some other event over your wedding, maybe you should check my schedule before your pick a date. Otherwise, just accept that the world doesn't revolve around you and your wedding. It's only person if you make it that way.

    He got married during a preseason game, had it been a conference game, I would not have canceled my plans. I don't think that makes me a bad friend/family member for having a prior obligation.

    A lot of people had prior obligations on my wedding date. I didn't hold it against them, no matter their reason. The only ones I side eyed for a moment, were the ones that didn't show up and never said why. 
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    photokitty said:

    PrettyGirlLost said:


    photokitty said:

    STARMOON44 said:




    Didn't read to the end, but want to address this. So if it was already pointed out, my bad.

    It's not just about sports, but also other relationships. I go to every home football game. In the last 5 years I have missed 2, one bc I sprained my ankle and couldn't walk and another for one of my best friend's mother's funeral - both unexpected events. He knows damn well that had he planned his wedding on a football home game I would have missed his wedding. I tailgate with roughly 30 friends every home game. We are very close. We spend the entire day together. These are people I want to be with and want to spend time with. Why does my choosing to spend time with these friends at a sporting event make me a terrible friend? If I had plans for family dinner and skipped your wedding would you revaluate your friendship with me?



    ETA - I have declined weddings on football Saturdays, but not soley bc of the game. I have also attending one wedding of a cousin on a home football Saturday. I was not pleased, but I love him, so I went. I was super pissed when he had his wife tell my sister and I a snarky comment about why he declined our weddings and how the dates we selected didn't work for him. I wasn't offend at all that he couldn't attend, until the snarky comment.


    So that's 8 times a year, every year, you see this group of people.  A lot of people only ever get married once in their entire lifetime. . . see what I'm getting at?

    But it looks like you *would* prioritize a wedding over a football game for a close family member or friend, since you begrudgingly went to your cousin's wedding.


    The point is, I had a prior obligation with people I chose to be with over the person getting married. Obviously there are some people I would prioritize over spending time with those friends, for example my cousin, bc I didn't want to offend my family. Not bc I wanted to be at his wedding more than I wanted to be at my prior commitment, but bc I felt obligated to go.   So you aren't even that close to your cousin that you wanted to go to the wedding freely of your own choosing?  You went because you didn't want to create family drama?  That sucks for you, sorry you felt that way ><  He didn't share the same sentiment for my sister's or my weddings, so looking back I wish I hadn't canceled my plans to attend his wedding.  Yeah, that was shitty no doubt about it.

    It doesn't matter how often I see these people, 8 times or every day of the year. It doesn't matter if you get married once a lifetime or every other year.  Actually it does.  Because if you miss my wedding to go to a regular season game and I never get divorced, well you missed my only wedding.  If you miss a regular season game you have 7 more to attend plus possibly post season.  Your wedding will never be as important to anyone else as it is to you and your spouse. To judge people for having a life outside your wedding is rude.  I don't think so.  I'm not judging you- general sense- for having a life outside of my wedding.  I'm judging your priorities.  Certain things in life are considered milestones or at least big deals-  Weddings, funerals, baptisms for some people, etc.  I don't think it's rude or unreasonable for some of us to prioritize milestones over sporting events, especially those that occur all the time, and to be surprised, pissed, and hurt when other people don't share those priorities.  We always say, check with your VIPs - if you are going to be upset if I pick some other event over your wedding, maybe you should check my schedule before your pick a date. Otherwise, just accept that the world doesn't revolve around you and your wedding. It's only person if you make it that way.

    He got married during a preseason game, had it been a conference game, I would not have canceled my plans. I don't think that makes me a bad friend/family member for having a prior obligation.  I don't think you are either and never said so.  I just don't share your priorities on this matter.

    A lot of people had prior obligations on my wedding date. I didn't hold it against them, no matter their reason. Yeah we had a number of people decline, and I didn't care either.  But none of the declines were people I was close with.  If someone I was close with declined and I found out the reason was because they were attending a sporting event, I'd be pissed and hurt and I'd realize that obviously we weren't as close as I had thought we were.  Sorrynotsorry.  The only ones I side eyed for a moment, were the ones that didn't show up and never said why. 


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    PrettyGirlLost said:


    photokitty said:

    PrettyGirlLost said:


    photokitty said:

    STARMOON44 said:




    Didn't read to the end, but want to address this. So if it was already pointed out, my bad.

    It's not just about sports, but also other relationships. I go to every home football game. In the last 5 years I have missed 2, one bc I sprained my ankle and couldn't walk and another for one of my best friend's mother's funeral - both unexpected events. He knows damn well that had he planned his wedding on a football home game I would have missed his wedding. I tailgate with roughly 30 friends every home game. We are very close. We spend the entire day together. These are people I want to be with and want to spend time with. Why does my choosing to spend time with these friends at a sporting event make me a terrible friend? If I had plans for family dinner and skipped your wedding would you revaluate your friendship with me?



    ETA - I have declined weddings on football Saturdays, but not soley bc of the game. I have also attending one wedding of a cousin on a home football Saturday. I was not pleased, but I love him, so I went. I was super pissed when he had his wife tell my sister and I a snarky comment about why he declined our weddings and how the dates we selected didn't work for him. I wasn't offend at all that he couldn't attend, until the snarky comment.


    So that's 8 times a year, every year, you see this group of people.  A lot of people only ever get married once in their entire lifetime. . . see what I'm getting at?

    But it looks like you *would* prioritize a wedding over a football game for a close family member or friend, since you begrudgingly went to your cousin's wedding.


    The point is, I had a prior obligation with people I chose to be with over the person getting married. Obviously there are some people I would prioritize over spending time with those friends, for example my cousin, bc I didn't want to offend my family. Not bc I wanted to be at his wedding more than I wanted to be at my prior commitment, but bc I felt obligated to go.   So you aren't even that close to your cousin that you wanted to go to the wedding freely of your own choosing?  You went because you didn't want to create family drama?  That sucks for you, sorry you felt that way ><  He didn't share the same sentiment for my sister's or my weddings, so looking back I wish I hadn't canceled my plans to attend his wedding.  Yeah, that was shitty no doubt about it.

    It doesn't matter how often I see these people, 8 times or every day of the year. It doesn't matter if you get married once a lifetime or every other year.  Actually it does.  Because if you miss my wedding to go to a regular season game and I never get divorced, well you missed my only wedding.  If you miss a regular season game you have 7 more to attend plus possibly post season.  Your wedding will never be as important to anyone else as it is to you and your spouse. To judge people for having a life outside your wedding is rude.  I don't think so.  I'm not judging you- general sense- for having a life outside of my wedding.  I'm judging your priorities.  Certain things in life are considered milestones or at least big deals-  Weddings, funerals, baptisms for some people, etc.  I don't think it's rude or unreasonable for some of us to prioritize milestones over sporting events, especially those that occur all the time, and to be surprised, pissed, and hurt when other people don't share those priorities.  We always say, check with your VIPs - if you are going to be upset if I pick some other event over your wedding, maybe you should check my schedule before your pick a date. Otherwise, just accept that the world doesn't revolve around you and your wedding. It's only person if you make it that way.

    He got married during a preseason game, had it been a conference game, I would not have canceled my plans. I don't think that makes me a bad friend/family member for having a prior obligation.  I don't think you are either and never said so.  I just don't share your priorities on this matter.

    A lot of people had prior obligations on my wedding date. I didn't hold it against them, no matter their reason. Yeah we had a number of people decline, and I didn't care either.  But none of the declines were people I was close with.  If someone I was close with declined and I found out the reason was because they were attending a sporting event, I'd be pissed and hurt and I'd realize that obviously we weren't as close as I had thought we were.  Sorrynotsorry.  The only ones I side eyed for a moment, were the ones that didn't show up and never said why. 

    My point was and still is it's is not about the game, but being with people. If I spend 8 Saturdays with people it doesn't mean I should give up one of them, when I have committed to being with those people, bc of a wedding. People keep getting hung up on it being a sporting event. If it was my kid's piano recital would that be a legitimate reason in your mind? But I see my kid every day? What about a business seminar that happens every quarter? It doesn't matter what I prioritize over your wedding - we all have different priorities. If you would select a date without checking my schedule, that depending on my reason for declining you would allow it to affect our relationship then I would say we weren't as close as you want to suggest you think we were. That's fine with me. If you are going to hold it against me then I think you check with me if I have prior plans.

    And while I love my cousin, I would rather have spent my time with my friends, I am closer with them. I also lost money on my tickets, had to drive 4 hours round trip and get a hotel room. BUT as you have proven, if I had chosen my friends and my prior plans over my cousin's wedding then I would have been judged and drama would have ensued, bc people assume it's just about the game and if I chose a game over their wedding I must not care about hem. That does sucks, it sucks for everyone who gets judged for having prior plans on the same date as a wedding they find out about 6-8 weeks in advance.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    The bottom line is that people can say "yes" or "no" to whatever social event they want. They may give a reason, they may not.

    Hosts may choose to judge the reason (if given) and decide whether to continue a relationship with people or not. 

    Both parties have the right to do these things as they please. The end.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    climbingwife said:

    thaboxingdiva said:

    i specifically scheduled my wedding during a lull in sports activity. knowing my group of friends, i would never ever even think of planning an event the weekend of a significant game. But honestly, lets say i did schedule my wedding the weekend of Bama v. LSU (roll tide by the way) i would never expect certain people to attend and i would be ready to accept the shit talk that would come my way. 

    but that being said, its all relative. If you truly bleed crimson (or whatever your team colors are) then more power to you. A wedding is a significant moment in someones life, but you still have to live your own with no regrets. 
    would i be upset if someone couldn't attend because of a sporting event they are vehemently enthusiastic about? no. its their life, and honestly, they are doing me a favor by coming to my wedding so who am i to dictate their schedule?

    Also, as a serious boxing fan, if i got a wedding invite for may 2, 2015 (biggest fight in history but i don't expect you all who don't even know when football season is to know that) i would happily decline to sit in my living room and watch at home. 
    Obviously you're talking about the Mayweather Pacquiao fight. And I know when football season is. Are you making these assumptions because we're women? 
    I was wondering about this too.

    I know when football season is, but I know nothing about boxing because I don't watch it. . . not because I'm a woman and I know nothing of sports ><  I don't like boxing, MMA, etc.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • badbnagdwaybadbnagdway member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    climbingwife said:

    thaboxingdiva said:

    i specifically scheduled my wedding during a lull in sports activity. knowing my group of friends, i would never ever even think of planning an event the weekend of a significant game. But honestly, lets say i did schedule my wedding the weekend of Bama v. LSU (roll tide by the way) i would never expect certain people to attend and i would be ready to accept the shit talk that would come my way. 

    but that being said, its all relative. If you truly bleed crimson (or whatever your team colors are) then more power to you. A wedding is a significant moment in someones life, but you still have to live your own with no regrets. 
    would i be upset if someone couldn't attend because of a sporting event they are vehemently enthusiastic about? no. its their life, and honestly, they are doing me a favor by coming to my wedding so who am i to dictate their schedule?

    Also, as a serious boxing fan, if i got a wedding invite for may 2, 2015 (biggest fight in history but i don't expect you all who don't even know when football season is to know that) i would happily decline to sit in my living room and watch at home. 
    Obviously you're talking about the Mayweather Pacquiao fight. And I know when football season is. Are you making these assumptions because we're women? 
    My wedding is the day of the Mayweather Pcquiao fight. But the fight was scheduled long, long after we had picked our date, paid deposits, etc. It is also the date of the Kentucky Derby. We have a friend who owns a projector so we are actually going to try to stream the Derby during our cocktail hour (it just so happens to work perfectly to do that, and the race of course is very short). 

    People can certainly decline a wedding for any reason. But I do maintain that declining a wedding (that you would otherwise go to - ie, you have the finances to go, and you are close to the bride and groom) to watch an event on TV is really different than actually having plans to go somewhere. Even if those plans to go somewhere are season tickets to football, that is still a plan to go somewhere, not a plan to be on your couch watching something you could DVR.
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  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    ShesSoCold said:

    I've declined an invitation for football. But I have season tickets. I've also skipped most of the cocktail hour of a wedding with a gap on a gameday to finish watching the game at the bar. 


    I have a DW in a few weeks and playoff hockey tickets. The playoff schedules aren't out yet (obviously) but if we weren't also spreading my mom's ashes that weekend, I'd be changing my accept to a decline to stay home and go to the game. 



    Same for FI and I. If it's a home game, we will be there, and that does affect our RSVP to stuff like weddings and other events.

    If it's not a home game, and one that we would be watching on TV, then we are definitely not going to decline going to a wedding or event on that day because we want to watch it on TV at home.  That just seems silly.

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  • amelishaamelisha member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    climbingwife said:

    thaboxingdiva said:

    i specifically scheduled my wedding during a lull in sports activity. knowing my group of friends, i would never ever even think of planning an event the weekend of a significant game. But honestly, lets say i did schedule my wedding the weekend of Bama v. LSU (roll tide by the way) i would never expect certain people to attend and i would be ready to accept the shit talk that would come my way. 

    but that being said, its all relative. If you truly bleed crimson (or whatever your team colors are) then more power to you. A wedding is a significant moment in someones life, but you still have to live your own with no regrets. 
    would i be upset if someone couldn't attend because of a sporting event they are vehemently enthusiastic about? no. its their life, and honestly, they are doing me a favor by coming to my wedding so who am i to dictate their schedule?

    Also, as a serious boxing fan, if i got a wedding invite for may 2, 2015 (biggest fight in history but i don't expect you all who don't even know when football season is to know that) i would happily decline to sit in my living room and watch at home. 
    Obviously you're talking about the Mayweather Pacquiao fight. And I know when football season is. Are you making these assumptions because we're women? 
    No, she's making that assumption because she thinks that not [even] knowing when football season is (which, no, I don't and I mentioned it on this thread) apparently makes you an airhead who knows nothing about any other sport ever, and also worthy of snarky side comments about it.

    Truthfully, though, pretty much the only sport less interesting in my mind than basketball is a sport like boxing where the entire point is to beat someone else up, so I guess the poster was kind of right on the money in some regard.

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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    amelisha said:


    climbingwife said:

    thaboxingdiva said:

    i specifically scheduled my wedding during a lull in sports activity. knowing my group of friends, i would never ever even think of planning an event the weekend of a significant game. But honestly, lets say i did schedule my wedding the weekend of Bama v. LSU (roll tide by the way) i would never expect certain people to attend and i would be ready to accept the shit talk that would come my way. 

    but that being said, its all relative. If you truly bleed crimson (or whatever your team colors are) then more power to you. A wedding is a significant moment in someones life, but you still have to live your own with no regrets. 
    would i be upset if someone couldn't attend because of a sporting event they are vehemently enthusiastic about? no. its their life, and honestly, they are doing me a favor by coming to my wedding so who am i to dictate their schedule?

    Also, as a serious boxing fan, if i got a wedding invite for may 2, 2015 (biggest fight in history but i don't expect you all who don't even know when football season is to know that) i would happily decline to sit in my living room and watch at home. 
    Obviously you're talking about the Mayweather Pacquiao fight. And I know when football season is. Are you making these assumptions because we're women? 
    No, she's making that assumption because she thinks that not [even] knowing when football season is (which, no, I don't and I mentioned it on this thread) apparently makes you an airhead who knows nothing about any other sport ever, and also worthy of snarky side comments about it.

    Truthfully, though, pretty much the only sport less interesting in my mind than basketball is a sport like boxing where the entire point is to beat someone else up, so I guess the poster was kind of right on the money in some regard.

    How dare you not know the season of a league that doesn't even play in your country! You fail at humaning! Be gone!

    @thaboxing diva clearly must have all the seasons of all the sports memorized, since she's such a superior human. You didn't schedule your wedding on the date of that super important cricket match, did you?
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  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    KatieinBkln said:

    ShesSoCold said:

    I've declined an invitation for football. But I have season tickets. I've also skipped most of the cocktail hour of a wedding with a gap on a gameday to finish watching the game at the bar. 


    I have a DW in a few weeks and playoff hockey tickets. The playoff schedules aren't out yet (obviously) but if we weren't also spreading my mom's ashes that weekend, I'd be changing my accept to a decline to stay home and go to the game. 
    I'm like 99% sure that none of these were the weddings of your bestest friend/closest sibling in the whole wide world, though. I'm also pretty sure you didn't go out of your way to make sure they knew exactly where you were when you weren't at their weddings...
    This is true for me too.  If my BFF was getting married on a Saturday where there were a home game, then I would be missing that game.  No questions asked.
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  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    Yeah sorry but if there's a sporting event on TV that you choose to watch instead of going to my wedding, AND we're close enough that you would otherwise have gone to my wedding if the event wasn't on TV that day (ie not family obligation), then yes I sure as hell am reevaluating my friendship with you. (General you BTW).

    Also, I have no clue when football season is. We don't have a TV in the kitchen so why would I, amirite ladies?

    (^ that was sarcasm)

    Formerly martha1818

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    photokitty said:

    PrettyGirlLost said:


    photokitty said:

    PrettyGirlLost said:


    photokitty said:

    STARMOON44 said:




    Didn't read to the end, but want to address this. So if it was already pointed out, my bad.

    It's not just about sports, but also other relationships. I go to every home football game. In the last 5 years I have missed 2, one bc I sprained my ankle and couldn't walk and another for one of my best friend's mother's funeral - both unexpected events. He knows damn well that had he planned his wedding on a football home game I would have missed his wedding. I tailgate with roughly 30 friends every home game. We are very close. We spend the entire day together. These are people I want to be with and want to spend time with. Why does my choosing to spend time with these friends at a sporting event make me a terrible friend? If I had plans for family dinner and skipped your wedding would you revaluate your friendship with me?



    ETA - I have declined weddings on football Saturdays, but not soley bc of the game. I have also attending one wedding of a cousin on a home football Saturday. I was not pleased, but I love him, so I went. I was super pissed when he had his wife tell my sister and I a snarky comment about why he declined our weddings and how the dates we selected didn't work for him. I wasn't offend at all that he couldn't attend, until the snarky comment.


    So that's 8 times a year, every year, you see this group of people.  A lot of people only ever get married once in their entire lifetime. . . see what I'm getting at?

    But it looks like you *would* prioritize a wedding over a football game for a close family member or friend, since you begrudgingly went to your cousin's wedding.


    The point is, I had a prior obligation with people I chose to be with over the person getting married. Obviously there are some people I would prioritize over spending time with those friends, for example my cousin, bc I didn't want to offend my family. Not bc I wanted to be at his wedding more than I wanted to be at my prior commitment, but bc I felt obligated to go.   So you aren't even that close to your cousin that you wanted to go to the wedding freely of your own choosing?  You went because you didn't want to create family drama?  That sucks for you, sorry you felt that way ><  He didn't share the same sentiment for my sister's or my weddings, so looking back I wish I hadn't canceled my plans to attend his wedding.  Yeah, that was shitty no doubt about it.

    It doesn't matter how often I see these people, 8 times or every day of the year. It doesn't matter if you get married once a lifetime or every other year.  Actually it does.  Because if you miss my wedding to go to a regular season game and I never get divorced, well you missed my only wedding.  If you miss a regular season game you have 7 more to attend plus possibly post season.  Your wedding will never be as important to anyone else as it is to you and your spouse. To judge people for having a life outside your wedding is rude.  I don't think so.  I'm not judging you- general sense- for having a life outside of my wedding.  I'm judging your priorities.  Certain things in life are considered milestones or at least big deals-  Weddings, funerals, baptisms for some people, etc.  I don't think it's rude or unreasonable for some of us to prioritize milestones over sporting events, especially those that occur all the time, and to be surprised, pissed, and hurt when other people don't share those priorities.  We always say, check with your VIPs - if you are going to be upset if I pick some other event over your wedding, maybe you should check my schedule before your pick a date. Otherwise, just accept that the world doesn't revolve around you and your wedding. It's only person if you make it that way.

    He got married during a preseason game, had it been a conference game, I would not have canceled my plans. I don't think that makes me a bad friend/family member for having a prior obligation.  I don't think you are either and never said so.  I just don't share your priorities on this matter.

    A lot of people had prior obligations on my wedding date. I didn't hold it against them, no matter their reason. Yeah we had a number of people decline, and I didn't care either.  But none of the declines were people I was close with.  If someone I was close with declined and I found out the reason was because they were attending a sporting event, I'd be pissed and hurt and I'd realize that obviously we weren't as close as I had thought we were.  Sorrynotsorry.  The only ones I side eyed for a moment, were the ones that didn't show up and never said why. 

    My point was and still is it's is not about the game, but being with people. If I spend 8 Saturdays with people it doesn't mean I should give up one of them, when I have committed to being with those people, bc of a wedding.   No you *shouldn't have to* give up a Saturday- we'll take the game out of it.  But if you were close to the bride or groom I would expect that you'd *want* to miss one Saturday with your friends and attend your friend's/family's wedding.  Just like you are close to your football friends and you want to spend time with them, I'd think you'd feel the same of a close friend or family member and their wedding.  But maybe not.  People keep getting hung up on it being a sporting event.  If it was my kid's piano recital would that be a legitimate reason in your mind? But I see my kid every day?  Yep.  I just don't prioritize sports and sporting events over social events for close family and friends.   What about a business seminar that happens every quarter? Work trumps social events.  It doesn't matter what I prioritize over your wedding - we all have different priorities. Absolutley.  I just personally don't agree with Sports > Wedding if I was close to the bride or groom.  And because of that I would not try and schedule my wedding around football, hockey, baseball, basketball, Little League, etc. season.  If you would select a date without checking my schedule, that depending on my reason for declining you would allow it to affect our relationship then I would say we weren't as close as you want to suggest you think we were. That's fine with me. If you are going to hold it against me then I think you check with me if I have prior plans.

    And while I love my cousin, I would rather have spent my time with my friends, I am closer with them. That makes sense to me, I don't judge that. My comments and questions are all based on the assumption that you are actually close with a friend of family member and their wedding falls on a regular season game. I also lost money on my tickets, had to drive 4 hours round trip and get a hotel room. BUT as you have proven, if I had chosen my friends and my prior plans over my cousin's wedding then I would have been judged and drama would have ensued, bc people assume it's just about the game and if I chose a game over their wedding I must not care about hem. That does sucks, it sucks for everyone who gets judged for having prior plans on the same date as a wedding they find out about 6-8 weeks in advance.
    I attend three conventions each year.  It's my chance to see some very dear friends who live all over the country, and I look forward to seeing them each time.  However, if my sister or my BFF set their wedding date during one of the conventions, I'd be going to their wedding.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    southernbelle0915 said:

    The bottom line is that people can say "yes" or "no" to whatever social event they want. They may give a reason, they may not.


    Hosts may choose to judge the reason (if given) and decide whether to continue a relationship with people or not. 

    Both parties have the right to do these things as they please. The end.
    Lol that was kind of my point.  Thanks!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    plainjane0415 said:

    KatieinBkln said:

    ShesSoCold said:

    I've declined an invitation for football. But I have season tickets. I've also skipped most of the cocktail hour of a wedding with a gap on a gameday to finish watching the game at the bar. 


    I have a DW in a few weeks and playoff hockey tickets. The playoff schedules aren't out yet (obviously) but if we weren't also spreading my mom's ashes that weekend, I'd be changing my accept to a decline to stay home and go to the game. 
    I'm like 99% sure that none of these were the weddings of your bestest friend/closest sibling in the whole wide world, though. I'm also pretty sure you didn't go out of your way to make sure they knew exactly where you were when you weren't at their weddings...
    This is true for me too.  If my BFF was getting married on a Saturday where there were a home game, then I would be missing that game.  No questions asked.
    Thank you!  AFuckingMen!!!  I *knew* you guys talking about choosing games over weddings were not talking about close friends or family.  I get that, 100%

    I declined an OOT wedding because it's too $$$, I'm sick of weddings, and we aren't close to the couple.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
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    ShesSoCold said:

    amelisha said:

    @littlepep, it's not the declining because of a game I think is so crazy, it's the saying you shouldn't have your wedding during "football season" (wtf that is, because I don't even know when that happens other than "I think during the fall?") because no one will come. I do think that's insane. Should people also not schedule weddings during the World Series/Stanley Cup playoffs/whatever happens at the end of basketball? Does that leave any Saturdays available, even?

    I totally agree. I would never tell someone not to get married during football season. Like you said there's always something going on and in that mindset, you'd never be able to plan a wedding. 

    I just wouldn't judge someone who already had plans to attend a game. 
    I would if they were close family or friends. . . it's a sports game- one out of multiple home games- of which you can sell the tickets.  No one needs to see every.single.game nor attend every.single.game.

    I grew up surrounded by sports- my grandfather was an equipment manager for our pro hockey and football teams, and he was an usher for our pro baseball team.  Athletes visited him at his home.  They attended his funeral and wake.  I love hockey, we have season tickets. . . but there are 41 home games and another 41 on the road, not even counting post season.  I was not about to try and schedule my wedding around hockey games when I already had to worry about scheduling my wedding around other local brides' weddings. . . since they were booking the same venues.

    And I wasn't about to pick another season because Spring is typically too damn cold and unpredictable, Summer is too fucking hot and I was not about to sweat through the most expensive dress of my life- and DH HATES being too hot and gets ugly, and Winter is also typically too damn cold and unpredictable.  Plus in Spring there's still hockey and baseball and college basketball, Summer there's baseball, and Winter there's still hockey and football and college football.




    I do. ;)

    In all seriousness though, H and I planned our wedding to avoid football and hockey seasons for us, not for guests who might be fans. Especially since it was supposed to be a DW. But I'm not going to get mad at anyone for not doing that. Preseason football starts at the beginning of August and Stanley Cup Finals are usually at the end of June. So people can ONLY get married in July because I like football and hockey? Shit, I'm not that important. 




    Sorry for all the quoting @shessocold

    Same for FI and I too! We chose April because it's one of the less hectic times for us schedule wise.  Once Summer starts we get really busy, and it doesn't really slow down for us until after Christmas, and we didn't want to have the headache of planning something right smack in the middle of a busy time for both of us. 

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  • hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 member
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    climbingwife said:

    thaboxingdiva said:

    i specifically scheduled my wedding during a lull in sports activity. knowing my group of friends, i would never ever even think of planning an event the weekend of a significant game. But honestly, lets say i did schedule my wedding the weekend of Bama v. LSU (roll tide by the way) i would never expect certain people to attend and i would be ready to accept the shit talk that would come my way. 

    but that being said, its all relative. If you truly bleed crimson (or whatever your team colors are) then more power to you. A wedding is a significant moment in someones life, but you still have to live your own with no regrets. 
    would i be upset if someone couldn't attend because of a sporting event they are vehemently enthusiastic about? no. its their life, and honestly, they are doing me a favor by coming to my wedding so who am i to dictate their schedule?

    Also, as a serious boxing fan, if i got a wedding invite for may 2, 2015 (biggest fight in history but i don't expect you all who don't even know when football season is to know that) i would happily decline to sit in my living room and watch at home. 
    Obviously you're talking about the Mayweather Pacquiao fight. And I know when football season is. Are you making these assumptions because we're women? 
    I think she's making those assumptions because there are people in this discussion who are saying they don't know when football season is.

    Also - I know when football season is. I don't know jack shit about boxing. :D
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  • littlepeplittlepep member
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    amelisha said:


    climbingwife said:

    thaboxingdiva said:

    i specifically scheduled my wedding during a lull in sports activity. knowing my group of friends, i would never ever even think of planning an event the weekend of a significant game. But honestly, lets say i did schedule my wedding the weekend of Bama v. LSU (roll tide by the way) i would never expect certain people to attend and i would be ready to accept the shit talk that would come my way. 

    but that being said, its all relative. If you truly bleed crimson (or whatever your team colors are) then more power to you. A wedding is a significant moment in someones life, but you still have to live your own with no regrets. 
    would i be upset if someone couldn't attend because of a sporting event they are vehemently enthusiastic about? no. its their life, and honestly, they are doing me a favor by coming to my wedding so who am i to dictate their schedule?

    Also, as a serious boxing fan, if i got a wedding invite for may 2, 2015 (biggest fight in history but i don't expect you all who don't even know when football season is to know that) i would happily decline to sit in my living room and watch at home. 
    Obviously you're talking about the Mayweather Pacquiao fight. And I know when football season is. Are you making these assumptions because we're women? 
    No, she's making that assumption because she thinks that not [even] knowing when football season is (which, no, I don't and I mentioned it on this thread) apparently makes you an airhead who knows nothing about any other sport ever, and also worthy of snarky side comments about it.

    Truthfully, though, pretty much the only sport less interesting in my mind than basketball is a sport like boxing where the entire point is to beat someone else up, so I guess the poster was kind of right on the money in some regard.

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    This comic is my favorite thing. 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    hellosweetie1015 said:

    climbingwife said:

    thaboxingdiva said:

    i specifically scheduled my wedding during a lull in sports activity. knowing my group of friends, i would never ever even think of planning an event the weekend of a significant game. But honestly, lets say i did schedule my wedding the weekend of Bama v. LSU (roll tide by the way) i would never expect certain people to attend and i would be ready to accept the shit talk that would come my way. 

    but that being said, its all relative. If you truly bleed crimson (or whatever your team colors are) then more power to you. A wedding is a significant moment in someones life, but you still have to live your own with no regrets. 
    would i be upset if someone couldn't attend because of a sporting event they are vehemently enthusiastic about? no. its their life, and honestly, they are doing me a favor by coming to my wedding so who am i to dictate their schedule?

    Also, as a serious boxing fan, if i got a wedding invite for may 2, 2015 (biggest fight in history but i don't expect you all who don't even know when football season is to know that) i would happily decline to sit in my living room and watch at home. 
    Obviously you're talking about the Mayweather Pacquiao fight. And I know when football season is. Are you making these assumptions because we're women? 
    I think she's making those assumptions because there are people in this discussion who are saying they don't know when football season is.

    Also - I know when football season is. I don't know jack shit about boxing. :D

    I'm a big Giants fan and a huge Yankees fan. I would absolutely skip a game for a relative's or best friend's wedding.
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
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    Interesting conversation about sports.

    Isn't there ONE day a year, one day, when no professional sports (maybe even add college sports to that) are playing in the US?  Apparently people should schedule their weddings for that day. 

    My opinion: I would be pissed if someone ditched my wedding to watch a sporting event on TV. Record it. If they already had tickets to something, I'd understand more, but then again, you can sell tickets fairly easy on the secondary market. It would depend on the importance of the game (early season basketball or baseball I'd judge; a final football game that means playoffs or not, I wouldn't judge).  I really do feel that my wedding was a once in a lifetime milestone and for someone to prioritize a game over celebrating my milestone, I'd know we aren't as close as I thought. Perhaps this is where STDs come in, as maybe you wouldn't yet have sports tickets 9 months out (season tix, other story). 

    Love the comic a PP posted... that's generally how I feel about many pro sports. LOL...
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  • LadyMillilLadyMillil member
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    thisismynickname said:

    Interesting conversation about sports.


    Isn't there ONE day a year, one day, when no professional sports (maybe even add college sports to that) are playing in the US?  Apparently people should schedule their weddings for that day. 

    My opinion: I would be pissed if someone ditched my wedding to watch a sporting event on TV. Record it. If they already had tickets to something, I'd understand more, but then again, you can sell tickets fairly easy on the secondary market. It would depend on the importance of the game (early season basketball or baseball I'd judge; a final football game that means playoffs or not, I wouldn't judge).  I really do feel that my wedding was a once in a lifetime milestone and for someone to prioritize a game over celebrating my milestone, I'd know we aren't as close as I thought. Perhaps this is where STDs come in, as maybe you wouldn't yet have sports tickets 9 months out (season tix, other story). 

    Love the comic a PP posted... that's generally how I feel about many pro sports. LOL...
    I don't know about sports, but we have season tickets to the theatre and pick our show dates 8-11 months in advance for the shows at the end of the season. We haven't had any conflicts yet. Most ceremonies here are mid-afternoon and the shows are 8PM so we could attend a local wedding ceremony, skip the reception and still make the show. 

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    I'd understand if you skipped my wedding to see Les Mis ;-)

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche member
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    I've only been invited to a handful of weddings, most of them when I was a kid and didn't have a say in the matter. As an adult I've been invited to 5 weddings, and attended 3 of them (2 were my sister, 1 my bff). The ones I didn't attend were largely distance and money issues.

    When DH and I picked a Friday morning for our wedding, we knew that there was a strong possibility that many people would not come specifically because of having to take leave (plus the travel aspect). People have their own things going on, and that's okay. We were pleasantly surprised by how many people actually made it. 

    An invitation is not a summons, and I don't feel bad declining or having an invite declined - no matter what the reason.
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