Bridal Shower

xxhappybridetobexx

My maid of honor is hosting my bridal shower which is happening in two weeks. The only thing she has to worry about is foods. Some of my bridesmaids along with myself will bring a dish to help her out. She asked me if she supposed to have favors for the guests. I told her that I have no idea. I wanted to ask you guys the guests should have favors or not? We are on a tight budget ourselves. Did anyone have a bridal shower without favors? We didn't want to be rude if it was customary to provide favors.

Dreamergirl8812

xxhappybridetobexx said:

My maid of honor is hosting my bridal shower which is happening in two weeks. The only thing she has to worry about is foods. Some of my bridesmaids along with myself will bring a dish to help her out. She asked me if she supposed to have favors for the guests. I told her that I have no idea. I wanted to ask you guys the guests should have favors or not? We are on a tight budget ourselves. Did anyone have a bridal shower without favors? We didn't want to be rude if it was customary to provide favors.

Favors are never necessary for anything.

That being said, stop. The point of this party is for everyone to shower you with gifts (and attention). You should not be participating in the planning process at all. That appears gift grabby and tacky.

kvruns

Favors aren't necessary

AddieCake

Favors are not necessary. All they really do is help display a "theme" or colors or look cute or pretty.

Jen4948

Dreamergirl8812 said:

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xxhappybridetobexx said:

My maid of honor is hosting my bridal shower which is happening in two weeks. The only thing she has to worry about is foods. Some of my bridesmaids along with myself will bring a dish to help her out. She asked me if she supposed to have favors for the guests. I told her that I have no idea. I wanted to ask you guys the guests should have favors or not? We are on a tight budget ourselves. Did anyone have a bridal shower without favors? We didn't want to be rude if it was customary to provide favors.

Favors are never necessary for anything.

That being said, stop. The point of this party is for everyone to shower you with gifts (and attention). You should not be participating in the planning process at all. That appears gift grabby and tacky.

She isn't involved in the planning, so accusing her of being gift-grabby and tacky isn't called for.

Her reason for asking about favors is because the hostess (who isn't her) asked her about them, and she didn't know what to tell her. OP, as PPs have said, favors aren't necessary. If your hostess doesn't want to provide them or doesn't know what to give, tell her not to sweat it and let it go at that.

MobKaz

AddieCake said:

Favors are not necessary. All they really do is help display a "theme" or colors or look cute or pretty.

I will partially disagree with this statement.  I include favors at gift giving events that I host.  I consider them a small token of appreciation and thanks to the guest for attending the event. 

saric83

Totally not necessary and often a waste of time/money anyway

huskypuppy14

Jen4948 said:

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xxhappybridetobexx said:

My maid of honor is hosting my bridal shower which is happening in two weeks. The only thing she has to worry about is foods. Some of my bridesmaids along with myself will bring a dish to help her out. She asked me if she supposed to have favors for the guests. I told her that I have no idea. I wanted to ask you guys the guests should have favors or not? We are on a tight budget ourselves. Did anyone have a bridal shower without favors? We didn't want to be rude if it was customary to provide favors.

Favors are never necessary for anything.

That being said, stop. The point of this party is for everyone to shower you with gifts (and attention). You should not be participating in the planning process at all. That appears gift grabby and tacky.

She isn't involved in the planning, so accusing her of being gift-grabby and tacky isn't called for.

Her reason for asking about favors is because the hostess (who isn't her) asked her about them, and she didn't know what to tell her. OP, as PPs have said, favors aren't necessary. If your hostess doesn't want to provide them or doesn't know what to give, tell her not to sweat it and let it go at that.

She's making food for her own shower, and she says "we are on a tight budget ourselves". "We don't want to be rude". Sounds like she's too involved.

Jen4948

huskypuppy14 said:

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Jen4948 said:

xxhappybridetobexx said:

My maid of honor is hosting my bridal shower which is happening in two weeks. The only thing she has to worry about is foods. Some of my bridesmaids along with myself will bring a dish to help her out. She asked me if she supposed to have favors for the guests. I told her that I have no idea. I wanted to ask you guys the guests should have favors or not? We are on a tight budget ourselves. Did anyone have a bridal shower without favors? We didn't want to be rude if it was customary to provide favors.

Favors are never necessary for anything.

That being said, stop. The point of this party is for everyone to shower you with gifts (and attention). You should not be participating in the planning process at all. That appears gift grabby and tacky.

She isn't involved in the planning, so accusing her of being gift-grabby and tacky isn't called for.

Her reason for asking about favors is because the hostess (who isn't her) asked her about them, and she didn't know what to tell her. OP, as PPs have said, favors aren't necessary. If your hostess doesn't want to provide them or doesn't know what to give, tell her not to sweat it and let it go at that.

She's making food for her own shower, and she says "we are on a tight budget ourselves". "We don't want to be rude". Sounds like she's too involved.

I don't agree that making food for a shower in and of itself makes one " too involved." I prefer to have more information before harshly judging someone as "too involved."

thisismynickname2

Favors aren't necessary and if the host(s) are on a budget, skip them. If people are fed and watered appropriately, that's enough. 

At least to MobK's point, if you do decide on the favor route anyway for a token of appreciation, at least take the usual advice that applies to wedding favors: edible or useful and preferably not wedding/bride related. One time I got heart shaped teaspoons. Cute, useful, but my existing set of teaspoons is far better quality so the heart shaped ones sit in a drawer. I also once got an engagement ring type keychain. A keychain is useful but why would I carry around one with a big fat faux diamond? Ugh.  If you must go with a theme, think something more like, oh, a spring time theme has favors of bud vases. A Parisian theme, give a little box of macaroons. 

kvruns

Jen4948 said:

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huskypuppy14 said:

Jen4948 said:

She's making food for her own shower, and she says "we are on a tight budget ourselves". "We don't want to be rude". Sounds like she's too involved.

I don't agree that making food for a shower in and of itself makes one " too involved." I prefer to have more information before harshly judging someone as "too involved."

Agreed, my friend is hosting one for me and I asked her if there was anything I could bring or anything to help with.  I'm not planning it or hosting it myself but I can't help but not offer some help even if it is just picking up some drinks or bringing some cookies (friend knows I bake).

NotTheOnlyOne

kvruns said:

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Jen4948 said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Jen4948 said:

She's making food for her own shower, and she says "we are on a tight budget ourselves". "We don't want to be rude". Sounds like she's too involved.

I don't agree that making food for a shower in and of itself makes one " too involved." I prefer to have more information before harshly judging someone as "too involved."

Agreed, my friend is hosting one for me and I asked her if there was anything I could bring or anything to help with.  I'm not planning it or hosting it myself but I can't help but not offer some help even if it is just picking up some drinks or bringing some cookies (friend knows I bake).


If someone has offered to host, there is no amount of help that is too much.You know your people and what they can afford, if it's not big to you to pitch in, then do what you can.

I posted something about this a while back, but where I am from (95% Hispanic community) planning your shower is part of planning your wedding.  It's just the way that it is done.  This whole concept of people outside your family paying and hosting for an event for you is only something I saw in movies. I work in the wedding and events industry and every single bridal and baby shower I have been a part of  (for work or personal) has been hosted and planned by the immediate family of the bride and everyone, including the bride is involved in the planning. There is no "gift grabbiness" because anyone who brings a gift from the shower does not bring one to the wedding. You get one gift with or without the shower.  It's just supposed to be a cute day of ladies having a nice time.  If that isn't your thing you should probably not attend.

I am the first to tell you that things like cash bars and Honeyfunds are rude no matter where you are from, but if your guests are being properly hosted and not expected to give you an extra gift, than do not worry about it and enjoy the day with your lady friends.

levioosa

daydreamjovi said:

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kvruns said:

Jen4948 said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Jen4948 said:

She's making food for her own shower, and she says "we are on a tight budget ourselves". "We don't want to be rude". Sounds like she's too involved.

I don't agree that making food for a shower in and of itself makes one " too involved." I prefer to have more information before harshly judging someone as "too involved."

Agreed, my friend is hosting one for me and I asked her if there was anything I could bring or anything to help with.  I'm not planning it or hosting it myself but I can't help but not offer some help even if it is just picking up some drinks or bringing some cookies (friend knows I bake).

If someone has offered to host, there is no amount of help that is too much.You know your people and what they can afford, if it's not big to you to pitch in, then do what you can.

I posted something about this a while back, but where I am from (95% Hispanic community) planning your shower is part of planning your wedding.  It's just the way that it is done.  This whole concept of people outside your family paying and hosting for an event for you is only something I saw in movies. I work in the wedding and events industry and every single bridal and baby shower I have been a part of  (for work or personal) has been hosted and planned by the immediate family of the bride and everyone, including the bride is involved in the planning. There is no "gift grabbiness" because anyone who brings a gift from the shower does not bring one to the wedding. You get one gift with or without the shower.  It's just supposed to be a cute day of ladies having a nice time.  If that isn't your thing you should probably not attend.

I am the first to tell you that things like cash bars and Honeyfunds are rude no matter where you are from, but if your guests are being properly hosted and not expected to give you an extra gift, than do not worry about it and enjoy the day with your lady friends.

Common =/=not rude.

It doesn't change the fact that you can't throw yourself a gift oriented party. 

NotTheOnlyOne

levioosa said:

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daydreamjovi said:

kvruns said:

Jen4948 said:

huskypuppy14 said:

Jen4948 said:

She's making food for her own shower, and she says "we are on a tight budget ourselves". "We don't want to be rude". Sounds like she's too involved.

I don't agree that making food for a shower in and of itself makes one " too involved." I prefer to have more information before harshly judging someone as "too involved."

Agreed, my friend is hosting one for me and I asked her if there was anything I could bring or anything to help with.  I'm not planning it or hosting it myself but I can't help but not offer some help even if it is just picking up some drinks or bringing some cookies (friend knows I bake).

If someone has offered to host, there is no amount of help that is too much.You know your people and what they can afford, if it's not big to you to pitch in, then do what you can.

I posted something about this a while back, but where I am from (95% Hispanic community) planning your shower is part of planning your wedding.  It's just the way that it is done.  This whole concept of people outside your family paying and hosting for an event for you is only something I saw in movies. I work in the wedding and events industry and every single bridal and baby shower I have been a part of  (for work or personal) has been hosted and planned by the immediate family of the bride and everyone, including the bride is involved in the planning. There is no "gift grabbiness" because anyone who brings a gift from the shower does not bring one to the wedding. You get one gift with or without the shower.  It's just supposed to be a cute day of ladies having a nice time.  If that isn't your thing you should probably not attend.

I am the first to tell you that things like cash bars and Honeyfunds are rude no matter where you are from, but if your guests are being properly hosted and not expected to give you an extra gift, than do not worry about it and enjoy the day with your lady friends.

Common =/=not rude.

It doesn't change the fact that you can't throw yourself a gift oriented party. 




I would agree with that in most cases, except that you are assuming what something means to one culture that is not your own.  They are called "showers" only because we are in the US and that is what they are called here but this is not an event about gifts.  It is fully catered with an open bar and has the budget that some might have for their weddings. It is, in this culture, an extension of the wedding and something 100% expected.  You know when a lady gets engaged that there will be a shower and then a wedding.  No one has to wait around waiting for a host, because that will be the same family that is hosting the wedding. Hosting the wedding and not having the shower would be incomplete.  It would like you were too cheap to have the other event.

This is not something that you have to understand.  As someone who was born in this country to a culture made up of exiles that refused to move forward in time for decades for a fear of losing what they left behind, I have always stood in the middle between their traditions and having to explain them to those on the outside.  I side with US traditions more times than not, but in this case, no one is being asked to pay for ANYTHING.  They are being hosted to a pretty elaborate event almost as nice as the wedding. They can come and have a nice time or not.  There is no instance where an extra gift is expected. Nor would I ever allow my friends to put up money for this event that my family expects to be large.

I think that is the thing here.  In this particular culture, it is all family.  There are very few friends invited, if any.  All families are large and they are all local and they are INVOLVED. I have tried to "Americanize" things as much as possible, but there are somethings you can't fight.  I don't even see a reason to fight this one.

Love your sn and signature, btw.