I am attending my cousin's wedding in a few weeks. I have a newborn baby who I am still nursing frequently.
I can give the baby one bottle so that I can leave her with the sitter for long enough to go to the ceremony without the baby, but after that I either need to bring her to the reception or miss the reception.
My cousin on this side has very little family, so I know it's super important to her and to her mom (my aunt) that I attend the wedding and reception. (Wedding is OOT and hotel and reception are a distance away.)
I posed the situation, carefully to the bride:
I'd like to attend as much of your wedding as I can. I can come to the ceremony without the baby, but if I am going to be at the reception I need to have the baby with me. I would strap her to me in a Bjorn, she would probably sleep the whole time. If she cried at all I would take her out. She sleeps through music, doesn't need a chair/meal etc. Caterers do not need to be informed etc.
(Some of this in answer to her questions.)
My cousin sounded rather anxious about this scenario. She said she was worried the baby would take attention away from her day.
I told her I would always rather not bring the baby. (I am not a baby person.) That I do not plan on passing the baby around. That if people ask to hold the baby I will just tell them she is sleeping and they will lose interest etc.
She said she needs a day to think it over, talk to her fiancé etc.
QUESTION: DID I DO THE RIGHT THING?
I feel I may have stressed her out in even asking.
But if I had just disappeared after a half hour, or not been able to make it past cocktail hour, I feel like that would be more inconsiderate.
Background: The wedding is "no kids" but there will be about 7 kids at the wedding and reception, B&G's nieces and nephews (none of them are in the wedding.)