Pre-wedding Parties

Re: .

  • You're not entitled to a wedding shower so yes, you need to get over it. Lots of people with local friends and family don't have one either because if no one offers, it just doesn't happen.
    kewest88 said:

    I'm stressing. I am getting married this July and everything is running smoothly and I'm so excited, but I don't know how i can possibly have a wedding shower. I live in Texas, I have one bridesmaid in Texas (she is over 6 hours away) and I have some friends spread out throughout the state (between 2 and 5 hours away). Other than them everyone is states away, my MOH is in NC, parents in OK and FL, grandparents in LA, NC and FL, my fiancés family is spread throughout NM, LA, CT, and CA. I know its not an essential part of the wedding but I feel kind of sad at the thought of not having any sort of shower. My bridesmaids and friends have plans to come to TX for my bachelorette/birthday weekend and thats a lot, travel, lodging food, drinks all of that costs so much. I don't want to seem selfish but I feel like I'm missing out. Any advice/help/wake up calls welcome!


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    chibiyui
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    kewest88 said:

    I'm stressing. I am getting married this July and everything is running smoothly and I'm so excited, but I don't know how i can possibly have a wedding shower. I live in Texas, I have one bridesmaid in Texas (she is over 6 hours away) and I have some friends spread out throughout the state (between 2 and 5 hours away). Other than them everyone is states away, my MOH is in NC, parents in OK and FL, grandparents in LA, NC and FL, my fiancés family is spread throughout NM, LA, CT, and CA. I know its not an essential part of the wedding but I feel kind of sad at the thought of not having any sort of shower. My bridesmaids and friends have plans to come to TX for my bachelorette/birthday weekend and thats a lot, travel, lodging food, drinks all of that costs so much. I don't want to seem selfish but I feel like I'm missing out. Any advice/help/wake up calls welcome!

    You are being selfish, not seeming selfish. You'll still be married without a shower.

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  • Lots of people don't have wedding showers. Some don't have them because nobody offers to throw one for them. Others don't have one because they're in similar situations to yours. And obviously, you can't throw one for yourself because it screams gift grab.

    Since you asked for a wake-up call... my advice is this: stop concerning yourself with this. It IS pretty entitled to think you are missing out and to expect that people should give you presents. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Has anyone offered to throw you a shower?  

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    You're not missing out. Showers (mine and others') are my personal hell, and they're definitely quite boring for a lot of people.

    [Deleted User]YogaSandy
  • No, no one has offered I was just curious what people usually did in these situations. Thanks for the input.
  • natswildnatswild The F-f-f-rozen N-n-north (Northern Alberta) member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    I'm one of those brides who won't be getting any pre-wedding parties, as the location of the wedding is in my hometown, 17 hours from where I live, and nearly everyone invited is OOT, a few on the west coast, and the rest on the east coast, and I certainly wouldn't expect them to make more than one trip.

    I'll still be married to my best friend!

  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Showers are not required. We tend to not have showers at all where I am from.

    Also, for a moment, I'm sure you don't mean it, but think about how much money people are spending to actually attend your wedding. It is hard, but many people factor travel into their gift/ shower hosting situations. Its just the nature of having loved ones spread out. I'm sure you wouldn't dare to ask a friend to buy another plane ticket to give you a gift, but that is essentially what a shower invitation is. 

    I'm glad you are taking this in stride, but yes, your disappointment is selfish. Look at what you do have: Friends travelling to give you a bachelorette party- be thankful and gracious. 
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Yep. Reality call. Chit chat has a First World Problem thread, this is a definite FWP.
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  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Reality check:  You are not entitled to a shower.  Be sad for a day and then move on.  What matters is that you will be married to your FI. 

    It might seem like you are missing out, but a ton of people never have a shower, and that's okay.  No one "deserves" a shower, and it's not a mandatory part of the wedding process.  Don't share your disappointment with anyone, as they might feel guilted into throwing you one when they can neither afford the time, travel, or cost.  Keep looking forward to the future.  It seems like you're going to have a great weekend with your girls, and you're right, it is incredibly expensive, and it would be selfish to expect more.


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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    kewest88 said:

    No, no one has offered I was just curious what people usually did in these situations. Thanks for the input.

    What people usually do is they wait to see if someone offers to throw a shower. If so, the bride and the shower host work together to figure out a location that can work. If no one offers to throw a shower, no shower happens.

  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp East Hanover, NJ member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    Why the DD?  That's so silly...  people gently gave you the wake up call you requested, and you yourself seemed cool with the responses.  No need to delete :)
    chibiyui
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2015
    I came for the bat signal.  How rude!

    My daughter didn't get a bridal shower.  They are not required.  My own shower was a party for my mother and HER friends.  You don't need one.
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  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Back for the DD. You were quoted anyway, so not sure why the delete? It only brings more attention to your post.

    Anyway.

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