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Snarky Brides

I just need a minute to snark before FH gets home!

So FH and I are getting married in June (thanks for everyone's input on my other thread)! We also have a number of friends getting married this summer. One in particular, I just got the invite when I got home today and I need to vent for a minute about this before he gets home because I don't want to say anything mean about it to him (it is the wedding of one of his friends).

So background, we have known about this wedding for a while (date/location) even though no STD or invite had been sent. So we have already planned to fly cross country for this wedding (we both have taken time off work, booked flights and hotels) - it is important to FH to be there, and I want to support him/meet his friends prior to our wedding.

So today we get the invite, 6 weeks before the wedding date (ok fine) - a postcard with a personal note (fine) - RSVP on the website (fine).

On said website I discover - wedding is at a campsite, they are camping Fri/Sat night and guests are invited to camp with them for free if they bring their own tents and food (we already booked hotels, which is fine with me, I don't want to camp anyway, but might have been nice to know prior). The wedding on Saturday is a potluck (but there is a note that if you are flying to be there, you get a pass on bringing food, so we are exempted) and BYOB. For a registry, you can sign up to help/work during the wedding day (one of the things you can sign up for is making a big pot of mashed potatoes for dinner) or contribute $ to something on their 'wish list' - also there is a list of things to "please refrain" from buying them.

I will go with a smile on my face and a card with a cheque in it but, gah. Just needed to vent for a sec!
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Re: I just need a minute to snark before FH gets home!

  • Wow, that sounds like it's going to be a total shit show. I'm a douche bag and would probably change my plans to attend. 
  • Eff that. So you are not only supposed to cater their wedding but work it too?

    Yeah, I can't think of many people that would get me to do this.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Holy shit. That's fucking crazy. Hey, come to my wedding and make food and bring whatever you want to drink and help serve and clean up! Sounds like a GREAT time. 

    hashtag43016esstee33
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    Ahh! Cannot unsee!

    Yeah, there is nobody on this earth I'd put up with any of that for.

    Formerly martha1818

    image


  • littlepeplittlepep South Carolina member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    japlanet said:

    So FH and I are getting married in June (thanks for everyone's input on my other thread)! We also have a number of friends getting married this summer. One in particular, I just got the invite when I got home today and I need to vent for a minute about this before he gets home because I don't want to say anything mean about it to him (it is the wedding of one of his friends).


    So background, we have known about this wedding for a while (date/location) even though no STD or invite had been sent. So we have already planned to fly cross country for this wedding (we both have taken time off work, booked flights and hotels) - it is important to FH to be there, and I want to support him/meet his friends prior to our wedding.

    So today we get the invite, 6 weeks before the wedding date (ok fine) - a postcard with a personal note (fine) - RSVP on the website (fine).

    On said website I discover - wedding is at a campsite, they are camping Fri/Sat night and guests are invited to camp with them for free if they bring their own tents and food (we already booked hotels, which is fine with me, I don't want to camp anyway, but might have been nice to know prior). The wedding on Saturday is a potluck (but there is a note that if you are flying to be there, you get a pass on bringing food, so we are exempted) and BYOB. For a registry, you can sign up to help/work during the wedding day (one of the things you can sign up for is making a big pot of mashed potatoes for dinner) or contribute $ to something on their 'wish list' - also there is a list of things to "please refrain" from buying them.

    I will go with a smile on my face and a card with a cheque in it but, gah. Just needed to vent for a sec!
    image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
    momofbride530RussianCinderellaesstee33ashley8918
  • KahlylaKahlyla Moncton, NB member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Yeah, I'd be declining that. Or going to my hotel and just, you know, skipping it at this point.
    image
    polly212
  • anjemonanjemon Minnie and Paul (MN) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Sounds like you guys have come up with a good plan.

    My FI's friends have a big camping thing every summer for a weekend. I like his friends, they're very fun. And every year after we arrive I start to think "man, why didn't we come yesterday? These people are so fun!" And then we sleep in a tent or in a camper (I think it was a single bed we shared) and I remember why. Because I hate camping and I sleep so poorly.

    But hopefully you'll be having so much fun with everyone you won't mind.
    image
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    sarahufl said:

    The mashed potatoes are the best part of this thread.

    I keep picturing like a large vat of potatoes with a line of people and a timer.

    Chipmunk415risaxuthemuffinman16missxasia
  • I'd bring a metal chicken. With a loud, annoying alarm inside. Loud enough to wake up the entire camp. Cause, you know, you gotta get up at the asscrack of dawn to get everyone up and cooking/cleaning/prepping everything for your wedding..



    You Beyoncé the giant metal chicken?



    themuffinman16sparklepants41mrs.mermaid12
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    I'd bring a metal chicken. With a loud, annoying alarm inside. Loud enough to wake up the entire camp. Cause, you know, you gotta get up at the asscrack of dawn to get everyone up and cooking/cleaning/prepping everything for your wedding..



    You Beyoncé the giant metal chicken?



    Something like that. Though I'd pick a really, really annoying song for the alarm...perhaps the Narwhal song? Or, since it's a wedding, Single Ladies?

    Extra points if the chicken has articulated joints and animatronics and does a noisy, clanky dance to the tune.
    lnixon8
  • fyrchkfyrchk member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Is it wrong that I want you to wrap a box of instant masked potatoes and give that as your gift?
    Knottie67053264sparklepants41
  • japlanet said:

    So FH and I are getting married in June (thanks for everyone's input on my other thread)! We also have a number of friends getting married this summer. One in particular, I just got the invite when I got home today and I need to vent for a minute about this before he gets home because I don't want to say anything mean about it to him (it is the wedding of one of his friends).


    So background, we have known about this wedding for a while (date/location) even though no STD or invite had been sent. So we have already planned to fly cross country for this wedding (we both have taken time off work, booked flights and hotels) - it is important to FH to be there, and I want to support him/meet his friends prior to our wedding.

    So today we get the invite, 6 weeks before the wedding date (ok fine) - a postcard with a personal note (fine) - RSVP on the website (fine).

    On said website I discover - wedding is at a campsite, they are camping Fri/Sat night and guests are invited to camp with them for free if they bring their own tents and food (we already booked hotels, which is fine with me, I don't want to camp anyway, but might have been nice to know prior). The wedding on Saturday is a potluck (but there is a note that if you are flying to be there, you get a pass on bringing food, so we are exempted) and BYOB. For a registry, you can sign up to help/work during the wedding day (one of the things you can sign up for is making a big pot of mashed potatoes for dinner) or contribute $ to something on their 'wish list' - also there is a list of things to "please refrain" from buying them.

    I will go with a smile on my face and a card with a cheque in it but, gah. Just needed to vent for a sec!
    This is what I'm really curious about. What isn't good enough for the couple registering for physical labor?
    [Deleted User]
  • japlanetjaplanet member
    Third Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments
    edited May 2015
    japlanet said:

    So FH and I are getting married in June (thanks for everyone's input on my other thread)! We also have a number of friends getting married this summer. One in particular, I just got the invite when I got home today and I need to vent for a minute about this before he gets home because I don't want to say anything mean about it to him (it is the wedding of one of his friends).


    So background, we have known about this wedding for a while (date/location) even though no STD or invite had been sent. So we have already planned to fly cross country for this wedding (we both have taken time off work, booked flights and hotels) - it is important to FH to be there, and I want to support him/meet his friends prior to our wedding.

    So today we get the invite, 6 weeks before the wedding date (ok fine) - a postcard with a personal note (fine) - RSVP on the website (fine).

    On said website I discover - wedding is at a campsite, they are camping Fri/Sat night and guests are invited to camp with them for free if they bring their own tents and food (we already booked hotels, which is fine with me, I don't want to camp anyway, but might have been nice to know prior). The wedding on Saturday is a potluck (but there is a note that if you are flying to be there, you get a pass on bringing food, so we are exempted) and BYOB. For a registry, you can sign up to help/work during the wedding day (one of the things you can sign up for is making a big pot of mashed potatoes for dinner) or contribute $ to something on their 'wish list' - also there is a list of things to "please refrain" from buying them.

    I will go with a smile on my face and a card with a cheque in it but, gah. Just needed to vent for a sec!
    This is what I'm really curious about. What isn't good enough for the couple registering for physical labor?
    Since you asked:

    [content deleted by moderator because it makes the wedding site easy to find]
    image
    TrixieJess
  • Holy shit. That's worse than I imagined.
    [Deleted User]
  • allispainallispain member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2015
    japlanet said:

    bizzy592 said:

    japlanet said:

    So FH and I are getting married in June (thanks for everyone's input on my other thread)! We also have a number of friends getting married this summer. One in particular, I just got the invite when I got home today and I need to vent for a minute about this before he gets home because I don't want to say anything mean about it to him (it is the wedding of one of his friends).


    So background, we have known about this wedding for a while (date/location) even though no STD or invite had been sent. So we have already planned to fly cross country for this wedding (we both have taken time off work, booked flights and hotels) - it is important to FH to be there, and I want to support him/meet his friends prior to our wedding.

    So today we get the invite, 6 weeks before the wedding date (ok fine) - a postcard with a personal note (fine) - RSVP on the website (fine).

    On said website I discover - wedding is at a campsite, they are camping Fri/Sat night and guests are invited to camp with them for free if they bring their own tents and food (we already booked hotels, which is fine with me, I don't want to camp anyway, but might have been nice to know prior). The wedding on Saturday is a potluck (but there is a note that if you are flying to be there, you get a pass on bringing food, so we are exempted) and BYOB. For a registry, you can sign up to help/work during the wedding day (one of the things you can sign up for is making a big pot of mashed potatoes for dinner) or contribute $ to something on their 'wish list' - also there is a list of things to "please refrain" from buying them.

    I will go with a smile on my face and a card with a cheque in it but, gah. Just needed to vent for a sec!
    This is what I'm really curious about. What isn't good enough for the couple registering for physical labor?
    Since you asked:

    [content deleted by moderator because it makes the wedding site easy to find]
    Eww. Eww. Eww eww eww.
    image
  • Why is accept such a hard word to spell? 
    [Deleted User]cupcait927
  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2015
    japlanet said:

    japlanet said:

    So FH and I are getting married in June (thanks for everyone's input on my other thread)! We also have a number of friends getting married this summer. One in particular, I just got the invite when I got home today and I need to vent for a minute about this before he gets home because I don't want to say anything mean about it to him (it is the wedding of one of his friends).


    So background, we have known about this wedding for a while (date/location) even though no STD or invite had been sent. So we have already planned to fly cross country for this wedding (we both have taken time off work, booked flights and hotels) - it is important to FH to be there, and I want to support him/meet his friends prior to our wedding.

    So today we get the invite, 6 weeks before the wedding date (ok fine) - a postcard with a personal note (fine) - RSVP on the website (fine).

    On said website I discover - wedding is at a campsite, they are camping Fri/Sat night and guests are invited to camp with them for free if they bring their own tents and food (we already booked hotels, which is fine with me, I don't want to camp anyway, but might have been nice to know prior). The wedding on Saturday is a potluck (but there is a note that if you are flying to be there, you get a pass on bringing food, so we are exempted) and BYOB. For a registry, you can sign up to help/work during the wedding day (one of the things you can sign up for is making a big pot of mashed potatoes for dinner) or contribute $ to something on their 'wish list' - also there is a list of things to "please refrain" from buying them.

    I will go with a smile on my face and a card with a cheque in it but, gah. Just needed to vent for a sec!
    This is what I'm really curious about. What isn't good enough for the couple registering for physical labor?
    Since you asked:

    [content deleted by moderator because it makes the wedding site easy to find]


    What is a Banana Un-Peeler? I peel a banana every morning for my toddler son. Usually after coffee, I don't find it that difficult, what the hell is this? I'm intrigued...
  • Do they mean the banana slicer?  http://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-571-Banana-Slicer/dp/B0047E0EII  Because this has made the news for the amazing amazon reviews.
    nerdwife
  • adk19 said:

    Do they mean the banana slicer?  http://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-571-Banana-Slicer/dp/B0047E0EII  Because this has made the news for the amazing amazon reviews.

    FI's work used to sell these and the hot dog slicer. It made me weep for the demise of mankind as we know it.
  • anjemonanjemon Minnie and Paul (MN) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2015
    japlanet said:

    bizzy592 said:

    japlanet said:

    So FH and I are getting married in June (thanks for everyone's input on my other thread)! We also have a number of friends getting married this summer. One in particular, I just got the invite when I got home today and I need to vent for a minute about this before he gets home because I don't want to say anything mean about it to him (it is the wedding of one of his friends).


    So background, we have known about this wedding for a while (date/location) even though no STD or invite had been sent. So we have already planned to fly cross country for this wedding (we both have taken time off work, booked flights and hotels) - it is important to FH to be there, and I want to support him/meet his friends prior to our wedding.

    So today we get the invite, 6 weeks before the wedding date (ok fine) - a postcard with a personal note (fine) - RSVP on the website (fine).

    On said website I discover - wedding is at a campsite, they are camping Fri/Sat night and guests are invited to camp with them for free if they bring their own tents and food (we already booked hotels, which is fine with me, I don't want to camp anyway, but might have been nice to know prior). The wedding on Saturday is a potluck (but there is a note that if you are flying to be there, you get a pass on bringing food, so we are exempted) and BYOB. For a registry, you can sign up to help/work during the wedding day (one of the things you can sign up for is making a big pot of mashed potatoes for dinner) or contribute $ to something on their 'wish list' - also there is a list of things to "please refrain" from buying them.

    I will go with a smile on my face and a card with a cheque in it but, gah. Just needed to vent for a sec!
    This is what I'm really curious about. What isn't good enough for the couple registering for physical labor?
    Since you asked:

    [content deleted by moderator because it makes the wedding site easy to find]
    So here are my questions:
     - Who gives tomatoes as gifts? I don't even see giving something like tomato sauce as a gift.
    - Who gives livestock as gifts? I'm assuming even in the farming community that's not typical. My one friend is married to a working farmer and I didn't see any livestock at their wedding.
    - Why all the hate on the Banana Un-Peeler? Doesn't that count as a random kitchen gift they don't have on their registry?
    image
    [Deleted User]bethsmileslevioosa
  • japlanet said:

    japlanet said:

    So FH and I are getting married in June (thanks for everyone's input on my other thread)! We also have a number of friends getting married this summer. One in particular, I just got the invite when I got home today and I need to vent for a minute about this before he gets home because I don't want to say anything mean about it to him (it is the wedding of one of his friends).


    So background, we have known about this wedding for a while (date/location) even though no STD or invite had been sent. So we have already planned to fly cross country for this wedding (we both have taken time off work, booked flights and hotels) - it is important to FH to be there, and I want to support him/meet his friends prior to our wedding.

    So today we get the invite, 6 weeks before the wedding date (ok fine) - a postcard with a personal note (fine) - RSVP on the website (fine).

    On said website I discover - wedding is at a campsite, they are camping Fri/Sat night and guests are invited to camp with them for free if they bring their own tents and food (we already booked hotels, which is fine with me, I don't want to camp anyway, but might have been nice to know prior). The wedding on Saturday is a potluck (but there is a note that if you are flying to be there, you get a pass on bringing food, so we are exempted) and BYOB. For a registry, you can sign up to help/work during the wedding day (one of the things you can sign up for is making a big pot of mashed potatoes for dinner) or contribute $ to something on their 'wish list' - also there is a list of things to "please refrain" from buying them.

    I will go with a smile on my face and a card with a cheque in it but, gah. Just needed to vent for a sec!
    This is what I'm really curious about. What isn't good enough for the couple registering for physical labor?
    Since you asked:

    Please Kindly Avoid Giving Us:
    • Random kitchen items not on our list (we probably already have it)
    • Something just for the sake of giving us something, ie random non-sentimental trinkets. 
      (Heirlooms, and/or things that aresentimental or beautiful or meaningful to/made by you are TOTALLY excepted.  And with all due respect! We just want to avoid having more Things in our piles of "Stuff”, if they're not sentimental -- We've already done a ton of downsizing!) If you're struggling to give us something, just give us your love and enjoy the party! :)
    • Tomatoes: [Groom's] allergic
    • Livestock: we already have a Mikey (yes, they have a pet goat)
    • Banana Un-Peeler
    What is a Banana Un-Peeler? I peel a banana every morning for my toddler son. Usually after coffee, I don't find it that difficult, what the hell is this? I'm intrigued...

    If you click the link it take you to a youtube video. I think it was supposed to be a joke?
    image
  • japlanet said:

    japlanet said:

    japlanet said:

    So FH and I are getting married in June (thanks for everyone's input on my other thread)! We also have a number of friends getting married this summer. One in particular, I just got the invite when I got home today and I need to vent for a minute about this before he gets home because I don't want to say anything mean about it to him (it is the wedding of one of his friends).


    So background, we have known about this wedding for a while (date/location) even though no STD or invite had been sent. So we have already planned to fly cross country for this wedding (we both have taken time off work, booked flights and hotels) - it is important to FH to be there, and I want to support him/meet his friends prior to our wedding.

    So today we get the invite, 6 weeks before the wedding date (ok fine) - a postcard with a personal note (fine) - RSVP on the website (fine).

    On said website I discover - wedding is at a campsite, they are camping Fri/Sat night and guests are invited to camp with them for free if they bring their own tents and food (we already booked hotels, which is fine with me, I don't want to camp anyway, but might have been nice to know prior). The wedding on Saturday is a potluck (but there is a note that if you are flying to be there, you get a pass on bringing food, so we are exempted) and BYOB. For a registry, you can sign up to help/work during the wedding day (one of the things you can sign up for is making a big pot of mashed potatoes for dinner) or contribute $ to something on their 'wish list' - also there is a list of things to "please refrain" from buying them.

    I will go with a smile on my face and a card with a cheque in it but, gah. Just needed to vent for a sec!
    This is what I'm really curious about. What isn't good enough for the couple registering for physical labor?
    Since you asked:

    Please Kindly Avoid Giving Us:
    • Random kitchen items not on our list (we probably already have it)
    • Something just for the sake of giving us something, ie random non-sentimental trinkets. 
      (Heirlooms, and/or things that aresentimental or beautiful or meaningful to/made by you are TOTALLY excepted.  And with all due respect! We just want to avoid having more Things in our piles of "Stuff”, if they're not sentimental -- We've already done a ton of downsizing!) If you're struggling to give us something, just give us your love and enjoy the party! :)
    • Tomatoes: [Groom's] allergic
    • Livestock: we already have a Mikey (yes, they have a pet goat)
    • Banana Un-Peeler
    What is a Banana Un-Peeler? I peel a banana every morning for my toddler son. Usually after coffee, I don't find it that difficult, what the hell is this? I'm intrigued...
    If you click the link it take you to a youtube video. I think it was supposed to be a joke?

    That's too bad, on cranky days where the coffee isn't cutting it, it may come in handy...
  • I would probably give as many of those things as possible. Like a basket  with an ugly photoframe, useless kitchen gadget, banana thing, and a whole bushel of tomatoes. 
    hellohkbesstee33ashley8918
  • justsiejustsie member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I have not stumbled across that video before and I have to just say thank you for that laugh!
    image
  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2015
    You forgot to mention that they're generously providing drinks/chocolates for the people who cook the mashed potatoes and do the dishes all weekend. Or that people who decide to camp have to pay to take a shower.

    You really made it easy to find.

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