Confessions

redoryx

I don't understand why my co-worker just felt the need to decline a bunch of meeting requests from  A MONTH AGO. Just delete the stupid things from your inbox and move on.

beachyone15

afox007 said:

Rice and eggs. I am pretty damn awesome in the kitchen and for some reason cooking rice or eggs is almost always a failure. It cracks FI up I will spend hours in the kitchen making homemade Chinese food only to have to make a second pot of rice because I screwed up the first.

Eggs always end up wrong. Scrambled eggs are undercooked in spots, poached or over easy wind up over cooked. I give up!

I'll admit I can't boil an egg to save my life. I'm always worried about them cracking so I pull them off the heat too early and then they're underdone. Grrr...

KatWAG

beachyone15 said:

Rice and eggs. I am pretty damn awesome in the kitchen and for some reason cooking rice or eggs is almost always a failure. It cracks FI up I will spend hours in the kitchen making homemade Chinese food only to have to make a second pot of rice because I screwed up the first.

Eggs always end up wrong. Scrambled eggs are undercooked in spots, poached or over easy wind up over cooked. I give up!

I'll admit I can't boil an egg to save my life. I'm always worried about them cracking so I pull them off the heat too early and then they're underdone. Grrr...


The key is to add a little baking soda to the water (1-2 tablespoons.) It helps prevent the shell from sticking to the egg. 

littlepep

flutteringinfl said:

I can't whistle or snap my fingers. Many people have tried to show me. They insist that both tasks are the easiest thing in the world. They are all liars.

I can't whistle either! I never have been able to. I kind of hate whistling now, but I think it's mostly because I'm jealous that I can't do it. 

beachyone15

KatWAG said:

beachyone15 said:

Rice and eggs. I am pretty damn awesome in the kitchen and for some reason cooking rice or eggs is almost always a failure. It cracks FI up I will spend hours in the kitchen making homemade Chinese food only to have to make a second pot of rice because I screwed up the first.

Eggs always end up wrong. Scrambled eggs are undercooked in spots, poached or over easy wind up over cooked. I give up!

I'll admit I can't boil an egg to save my life. I'm always worried about them cracking so I pull them off the heat too early and then they're underdone. Grrr...

The key is to add a little baking soda to the water (1-2 tablespoons.) It helps prevent the shell from sticking to the egg. 

I'll have to try that!

southernbelle0915

@KatWAG - I had no idea about bobby pins. I've literally never put one in my hair correctly. Ever.

Folding a fitted sheet.... Fuck. That. I cannot understand.

jenna8984

southernbelle0915 said:

@KatWAG - I had no idea about bobby pins. I've literally never put one in my hair correctly. Ever.

Folding a fitted sheet.... Fuck. That. I cannot understand.

NO ONE CAN

theartistformerlyknownas

jenna8984 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

@KatWAG - I had no idea about bobby pins. I've literally never put one in my hair correctly. Ever.

Folding a fitted sheet.... Fuck. That. I cannot understand.

NO ONE CAN

Actually this, I can do!

sarahufl

lolo883 said:

jenna8984 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

@KatWAG - I had no idea about bobby pins. I've literally never put one in my hair correctly. Ever.

Folding a fitted sheet.... Fuck. That. I cannot understand.

NO ONE CAN

Actually this, I can do!

Really?! Please share your magic.

southernbelle0915

lolo883 said:

jenna8984 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

@KatWAG - I had no idea about bobby pins. I've literally never put one in my hair correctly. Ever.

Folding a fitted sheet.... Fuck. That. I cannot understand.

NO ONE CAN

Actually this, I can do!

TEACH ME. 

And I swear, if your method works and you created a YouTube video on this, you would get a million hits. I do not know one person who can successfully do this.

Cookie Pusher

KatWAG said:

beachyone15 said:

Rice and eggs. I am pretty damn awesome in the kitchen and for some reason cooking rice or eggs is almost always a failure. It cracks FI up I will spend hours in the kitchen making homemade Chinese food only to have to make a second pot of rice because I screwed up the first.

Eggs always end up wrong. Scrambled eggs are undercooked in spots, poached or over easy wind up over cooked. I give up!

I'll admit I can't boil an egg to save my life. I'm always worried about them cracking so I pull them off the heat too early and then they're underdone. Grrr...

The key is to add a little baking soda to the water (1-2 tablespoons.) It helps prevent the shell from sticking to the egg. 

A little white vinegar also works.

lolo883 said:

jenna8984 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

@KatWAG - I had no idea about bobby pins. I've literally never put one in my hair correctly. Ever.

Folding a fitted sheet.... Fuck. That. I cannot understand.

NO ONE CAN

Actually this, I can do!

Me too! From years of having 6-8 beds being slept in at our house growing up. Every Sunday, all the bedding got washed and folded.

lacqueredlover

Long division.  Never could learn how to do it.

jenna8984

I do the technique known as "attempt to fold in half, attempt to fold in half again, fast circular motion with my arms so it wraps up sort of like a garden hose around my forearms"

theartistformerlyknownas

Fitted sheets - find the top two corners. Put them over your hands like you are a giant bed monster. Stretch them out wide then quickly fold together as "neatly"as you can. Fold one corner over the other corner, so it's half inside out, like when you roll socks. Find the fold in the center and try to shame/even it out. You should have whatever the depth of your sheet (12-18"or so) folded over around the top and side, and one corner snugly fit inside the other corner.

The bottom is still a mess. This is where it gets tricky. I use a combination of Jiujutsu, football tackling, and origami to get the bottom half looking somewhat like the top without fucking up what I just did. I find it easiest to lay it out on the floor, until it looks like a somewhat mangled pita bread. Edges folded over for the 12-18" around 3 sides, nice straight center crease down the middle. It WON'T be perfect, but it never will be.

From there, fold each side 1/4 in lengthwise to meet at the center, then the whole thing in half, so any non-straight edges are tucked inside. Then fold up your long, narrow sheet into however many folds it takes to fit in your closet.

knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226

I don't fully understand how my health insurance works and I've been on it a year.

climbingsingle

I can't whistle.

I consider myself a really good cook, but I cannot microwave oatmeal to save my life. I don't know how my H does it. 

I also don't understand much about the stock market. I get the gist (buying shares, selling, high, low) but much more than that confuses me. 

southernbelle0915

lolo883 said:

Fitted sheets - find the top two corners. Put them over your hands like you are a giant bed monster. Stretch them out wide then quickly fold together as "neatly"as you can. Fold one corner over the other corner, so it's half inside out, like when you roll socks. Find the fold in the center and try to shame/even it out. You should have whatever the depth of your sheet (12-18"or so) folded over around the top and side, and one corner snugly fit inside the other corner.

The bottom is still a mess. This is where it gets tricky. I use a combination of Jiujutsu, football tackling, and origami to get the bottom half looking somewhat like the top without fucking up what I just did. I find it easiest to lay it out on the floor, until it looks like a somewhat mangled pita bread. Edges folded over for the 12-18" around 3 sides, nice straight center crease down the middle. It WON'T be perfect, but it never will be.

From there, fold each side 1/4 in lengthwise to meet at the center, then the whole thing in half, so any non-straight edges are tucked inside. Then fold up your long, narrow sheet into however many folds it takes to fit in your closet.

This is what I do, but it always turns out like this:

princessgracekelly

I can't snap either. I can do the finger motion, but something gets lost in translation and my fingers just make a "pfft" sound. I'm also terrible at math. I used to be really snooty about correcting people's grammar to overcompensate and feel smart, but then I decided I like having friends more.

I can actually drive stick! But it is wayyyy less applicable than, say, math or snapping.

novella1186

hicoco said:

I don't fully understand how my health insurance works and I've been on it a year.

Ditto. That's another thing where the more I try to learn, the more confused I get. I found a therapist that's covered but then it was applied to my deductible so I had to pay out of pocket anyway. WTF is that nonsense? 

I thought I had a year of contact lenses, but it was actually just a certain dollar amount which could never plausibly cover an entire year of contacts. So how can they say they cover a year of them??? 

And it covers preventative care but some things that the doctor considers to be preventative might not be or it has to be filed a certain way??? 

Nothing but confusion and frustration from me. 

kaitlynmichelle

Lolo described how I do the sheets. They usually aren't perfect but it will do!

redheadbride15

Health insurance: No one understands health insurance. I work in health care and I still don't understand it. Every plan is different and none of them make sense. They're just designed to maximize profits for the insurance companies. Grrrrr...

Finances: I think you have to really enjoy playing the game to understand taxes, investments, retirement plans, etc. I'm really good at math (I was a physics major in college), but still my eyes glaze over when it comes to these things. I just really don't care enough about money. Fortunately FI likes to play this game, so it works out well.

Fitted sheets: Just get the wrinkle-resistant ones and there's never a need to fold. Life is easier.

classicalandedgy

jenna8984 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

@KatWAG - I had no idea about bobby pins. I've literally never put one in my hair correctly. Ever.

Folding a fitted sheet.... Fuck. That. I cannot understand.

NO ONE CAN

LOL, this is actually one thing I can do!

arrippa

It took three people to teach me how to drive stick. Once it clicked it was easy but it took me so long to get there.

I can't cook. I will look at a recipe and most of the time it's like its written in a different language. I just don't understand it. It's funny since my dad is a chef and my brother cooks so well. It's just never clicked for me.

plainjane0415

novella1186 said:

hicoco said:

I don't fully understand how my health insurance works and I've been on it a year.

Ditto. That's another thing where the more I try to learn, the more confused I get. I found a therapist that's covered but then it was applied to my deductible so I had to pay out of pocket anyway. WTF is that nonsense? 

I thought I had a year of contact lenses, but it was actually just a certain dollar amount which could never plausibly cover an entire year of contacts. So how can they say they cover a year of them??? 

And it covers preventative care but some things that the doctor considers to be preventative might not be or it has to be filed a certain way??? 

Nothing but confusion and frustration from me. 

I'm afraid all of this is just the world of health insurance today.  Stupid, frustrating, and above all makes no sense.

jenna8984

Oh I just remembered....my gift wrapping looks like this (even when it's a perfect square)

 

kvruns

hicoco said:

I don't fully understand how my health insurance works and I've been on it a year.

I work in health insurance if you ever have any questions or want to be pointed toward some resources for understanding the basics

chibiyui

Yeah, I pretty much don't get anything that's already been posted. 

I'm okay in the kitchen, and trying to learn more (Today I'm going to devein shrimp!) But I feel super awkward in the grocery store googling vegetables to figure out whats good and whats a pass. I should know this stuff, and yet I don't.

Similar with flowers, I have basics down, but i'm still looking up the difference between perennials and annuals. 

I think I just fail at adulting.

amelisha

I can't whistle, understand the stock market or investing, or wrap gifts either. And I can't really work a lighter, which I blame on being left-handed. On the rare occasion I smoke something, someone has to light it for me (which has the benefit, at least, of making me feel like a glamorous 1940s lady even if it makes me look like a kid at her first party.)

But I can fold a fitted sheet to exactly the same size and shape as the top sheet, so I'm not entirely useless.

OliveOilsMom

jenna8984 said:

I understand the stick shift, I just have a hard time finding that exact balancing spot between stalling and peeling out.
But I was also using bobby pins wrong until about 2 months ago.

My failure thing is baking. I can COOK amazing meals but I literally can't bake a muffin or cupcake to save my life. I always follow the directions and it always burns on the bottom. In every different oven in every different home/apartment.

What color is your bakeware?  Is it darker gray like Calphalon?  You should try baking your items about 25 degrees lower than the recipe.  Take a few minutes off your cook time too.  I also recommend a cake tester, they cost a few bucks and come in handy.  You can also use metal skewers or uncooked thin spaghetti.  Insert it into your cake and if it comes out clear, it is done!

Darker colored bakeware cooks faster and hotter.  Also, make sure you are baking in the direct center of the oven.

Heffalump

I can't sew.  Nothing.  Maybe a button if it's an emergency, but that's it.  Hemming anything?  Forget it.

I can't French braid.  I look at the pictures, I watch the videos, but I can't translate what I'm seeing into whatever I'm supposed to be doing with my hands.

And pastry.  Anything where you have flour and butter or shortening and it's supposed to magically turn into biscuits or pie crust or whatever?  I always end up with a pile of crumbs, way less dough than I should have, and if I keep going, the finished product doesn't taste like anything.  I can bake normal things (cookies, muffins, cakes), but I have to buy all my pie crusts and biscuits.  And I moved to the south, so I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be ashamed about the biscuits.

FWIW, I learned to drive a stick and eventually decided it was completely overrated.  My current car is an automatic and I am never going back.  (Also my mother can fold fitted sheets, somehow, but it must have skipped a generation.)