Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

I get sad everytime I think of my wedding day

I never really dreamed about my wedding day.  It was always something that would be fun for everyone...that's all I really wanted.  That week was a nightmare and I just wanted to cry.  I fought with my mom and just wanted it to be over.  I remember the day being wonderful...then I saw the video and I wanted to cry!  I wish I never went with a videographer...it makes me sad just thinking about it.  Anytime I see wedding on television I can't shake what I saw on our video and want to cry everytime!  Our speech (well my speech) was horrible and I can't believe the words that came out of my mouth~  I want a do-over! Cry

Re: I get sad everytime I think of my wedding day

  • teachermegsteachermegs member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited April 2011

    Sorry you feel this way.


  •  Look for the good of the day instead of the bad. Dwelling on the bad is only going to make it worse. I am sure it was beautiful. That is my only advice.
    Visit The Nest! Visit The Nest!
  • Even for those of us who enjoyed our weddings there are things we would like to do over. I'm not sure what you said in your speech that was so embarrassing, but hopefully in time all of the things you regret will all be distant memories and you will learn to laugh about them. Or..you can renew your vows for your anniversary. =)
  • What were specifics that were so horrid?  I am sorry you feel so badly.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • No wedding is perfect. There are always going to be snaffous of some sort, even at the most well-orchestrated affairs. Try to focus on the happy moments of your day instead of the not-so-wonderful ones. Eventually, time will heal whatever damage may have been done the week of your wedding, and you will be able to focus on only the good memories from your wedding, and on building your life with your new husband.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_sad-everytime-think-of-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:6661323b-edbd-4d55-a0ec-b395eb47891dPost:c23ea25c-df23-41a4-aa77-c42c735d6160">I get sad everytime I think of my wedding day</a>:
    [QUOTE]I never really dreamed about my wedding day.  It was always something that would be fun for everyone...that's all I really wanted.  That week was a nightmare and I just wanted to cry.  I fought with my mom and just wanted it to be over.  I remember the day being wonderful...then I saw the video and I wanted to cry!  I wish I never went with a videographer...it makes me sad just thinking about it.  Anytime I see wedding on television I can't shake what I saw on our video and want to cry everytime!  Our speech (well my speech) was horrible and I can't believe the words that came out of my mouth~  I want a do-over!
    Posted by napua15[/QUOTE]

    I cried when we watched our wedding video, too, but they were happy tears. Of course it is okay to be sad that it is all over, but that is just life. That is why you have the video, pics and wonderful memories to look back on.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_sad-everytime-think-of-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:6661323b-edbd-4d55-a0ec-b395eb47891dPost:a03b745a-8729-4aaa-8e01-6030a1affbcf">Re: I get sad everytime I think of my wedding day</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to I get sad everytime I think of my wedding day : I cried when we watched our wedding video, too, but they were happy tears. Of course it is okay to be sad that it is all over, but that is just life. That is why you have the video, pics and wonderful memories to look back on.
    Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

    Ummm, did you even read the OP's message??????
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_sad-everytime-think-of-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:6661323b-edbd-4d55-a0ec-b395eb47891dPost:ebdc0e3c-76b6-47ed-be92-fb3af482fdea">Re: I get sad everytime I think of my wedding day</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I get sad everytime I think of my wedding day : Ummm, did you even read the OP's message??????
    Posted by verityverity[/QUOTE]

    Yes, I did.
  • I'm so sorry you feel that way. I've heard a lot of brides say things like this on the knot. I think it would be helpful to write down a list of positive things about the wedding day.  For example, marrying the love of your life.  But is there anything else you felt positive about?  Your dress or your hair? Your best friend coming into town?  After you make your list of positive things, don't dwell on the wedding day any longer.  When you have a negative thought, instantly name a positive thought from your list and then move on with your day and don't think about it.  As the years pass by, the negative memories will fade into positive ones and you won't be so concerned with little details that others will have forgotten.  

    YOu could also look for wedding disaster stories to make you feel better (like at least This didn't happen to me).

    FOr example, I was watching one of those wedding tv shows and there was a horrible blizzard on the day of their wedding. The snow plows wouldn't come out because the weather was too bad and the church called and said they couldn't do the ceremony because of the parking lot not being plowed and it was dangerous.  So, the couple decided to marry anyway and moved the wedding to their reception hall.  Most of their vendors called and couldn't make it in the snow. They had no organist or band and or flowers and almost all the guests could not make it.  They had maybe fifteen people there with an ipod wedding in a super fancy expensive hotel.  The bride was laughing about it strangely.  I guess they could've asked their vendors to reschedule but perhaps it was just more important to her that they just get married.   
  • janedoe1113ajanedoe1113a member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited April 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_sad-everytime-think-of-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:6661323b-edbd-4d55-a0ec-b395eb47891dPost:a03b745a-8729-4aaa-8e01-6030a1affbcf">Re: I get sad everytime I think of my wedding day</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to I get sad everytime I think of my wedding day : I cried when we watched our wedding video, too, but they were happy tears. Of course it is okay to be sad that it is all over, but that is just life. That is why you have the video, pics and wonderful memories to look back on.
    Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

    I don't think she is sad because it's over.  She seems to be sad because her wedding didn't turn out the way she wanted it to.

    I'm sorry you feel this way about your wedding.  Think back about the good things that happened that day.  You got married to the person you love!
  • I hated my reception and for a while would get angry every time I thought about it.  So I stopped thinking about it.  Instead, I focused on the ceremony (which was wonderful).  I didn't even look at the pictures from my reception for a long time because I didn't need the negative feelings these pictures would trigger.  Now that a few months have passed I can look at all my wedding pics and not feel more than a passing, "man, that was a bad night," when I see the reception pics.  Give it some time and stop watching your wedding video for a while...I'm sure you'll start to feel better about everything.
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    Stop The Drama!

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  • edited April 2011
    The only thing that actually made me sad and mad was the photog didn't get ANY pics of me with the groom's family AT ALL, or our OOT family. It was the only opportunity in many years that the whole family would be together. The reason I'm mad and sad is that I asked 3 times and it just never happened, she wanted to keep taking pics of the groom and I .... then we rushed through the family photos.

    There is nothing I can do to change that and other than that, I was thrilled at the wedding and reception.

    I was pissed at the photog who was right in the center of my video as I walked down the isle, and in many of the video shots. It truly sucked that she *ucked up on only some of the photos and some of the video. There are some good photos and some good video shots too.

    What can I do now? Nothing but GET OVER IT. And that is what I did, I just had to LET IT GO!!!

    The more you dwell on it the more you will be miserable. Perhaps you could have your videographer actually EDIT OUT YOUR SPEECH?

    Also, I just want to add, that people don't remember too much about weddings anyway. They remember if the bride was beautiful, was the food and booze good and plentiful and did they have a good time at the party... I actually don't remember any of the speeches at my own sister's or any of my sibs wedding's or my best friend's wedding. They were years ago though, but I do remember many more details of the wedding ceremonies.
  • I totally feel your pain. My wedding sucked and I have no happy memories. I was too stressed out about other crap to focus on the wedding, which was basically a huge cluster $%@k, anyway. I want a do over too, but have been told I may be considered an AW if I go for the big blow out vow renewal in a few years. Oh well. I was afraid of that anyway, I just needed to confirm it with some others. As for your situation, the best advice I can give is like some of the other girls have told you, there ARE good elements to your wedding as well as mine. You married the man you love, right? Your friends and family were happy for you, right? Everyone embarrasses themselves, and I am the world's worst at that. I'm so clumbsy, I HATE attention because I always make a real jerk of myself, either verbally or by walking into something. Don't feel bad about whatever it was you said. If you need a do over, wait for your 10 year, and who cares what the naysayers say? Or do it in 5 in vegas with just you and your hubby. Wear the pretty white dress, and then go to dinner and then go clubbing in the dress. Sounds rediculous but fun, right?

  • Lol oh crap you are FROM Vegas, my bad. OK but you get the point. Destination Vow Renewal, just the two of you. Less poofy dress, quick ceremony with happy memories, great upscale dinner, and then realize that you'll NEVER wear that dress again, and go dancing in it!
  • A wedding is a one time event; a marriage is (hopefully) a lifetime.  Focus on that instead and your future together, not dwelling on the past.
  • Do you watch Sex and the City?  I love the episode where everything goes wrong at Charlotte's second marriage and Carrie tells her that she had one perfect wedding that ended in divorce, so maybe the worse the wedding day, the better the marriage....
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