Help! BSC has invaded me....

ChemFanatic25

bride2b71614 said:

Oh god I'll play. Please don't judge me. A year into dating my now FI I decided that he was the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. My friend who was getting married invited me to go to a bridal expo with her and I happily agreed. We were signing up for a bunch of stuff and I played it off as oh we're doubling our chances to win things (secretly I wanted him to propose before, so if I did win, we would have a sweet set up). I started to get really into it. I must have signed up at every freaking table, and took brochures from EVERYWHERE. I went home and I put the wedding related materials in the back of the closet. Every few days I would read a brochure or two, and would earmark pages of things I liked in the free magazines.

Well, three weeks later my FI offered to clean the house and pick up the mail on his day off from work. He picked up the mail, which had two letters in it saying that we won a wedding videography package, and another saying we won a dream honeymoon. Then he cleaned the house and found my wedding material stash I made in the closet. When I got home he asked if why were these wedding related materials in our closet, and what was with all the wedding materials in the closet? I was so embarrassed because he caught me in the middle of a BSC moment. He and I then established a timeline, and I got rid of the brochures.

So, moral of the story, don't go to bridal expos when you aren't engaged, because they'll fuck with your BSC. 

There are several bridal shows going on right now and I see advertisements as I'm driving by. I am so tempted to go to one but I'm like nope - don't do it. You'll go over the edge. Yeah . . . so far haven't gone but soooo tempted. I like pretty dresses and I really just want to see pretty dresses. 

teddygirl9

We just came back from vacation and EVERYONE asked 'Oh so you're honeymooning?' Nope. 'Oh. Just practicing then. Put a ring on it already!' like, literally 10 different people that we talked to said the exact same thing lol. So annoying.

 

I had a dream the other night that he proposed, and then something bad happened (bad dream). Then I woke up from the dream and was like 'whew all the bad was stuff was jsut a dream, but were still engaged!' and then I woke up from that.

teddygirl9

bride2b71614 said:

So, moral of the story, don't go to bridal expos when you aren't engaged, because they'll fuck with your BSC. 

My mom just got engaged, and is dragging me to every. single. one. of these she can find. It's terrible! But honestly, I think theyre awful. All the vendors feel like sharks and I dont want to talk to any lol.

[Deleted User]

jenjen047 said:

I feel like I've been doing a great job keeping myself not-BSC but for some reason today all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. Did this happen to other ladies on here? I've been trying to keep occupied by making lists of all new recipes I want to try, downloading some audio books I've been wanting to listen to, and cleaning out my closet. Hopefully tomorrow is back to normal non-BSC levels. But....in the meantime and so I don't feel so crazypants....I thought it might be funny to hear from some of you lovely ladies about the BSC things you did. I think someone here bought a wedding dress before being engaged?

I'll start with something from my own past.....about 4 years ago when I was sure I was going to marry the guy I was dating, I bought a CZ ring from Claire's to wear around the house when I was home alone. Sometimes I'd wear it while running errands and a lady once asked me when my wedding was.


After that I came to my senses, realized I had really gone off the deep end, and got rid of the ring.

Who's next???

ETF: Spelling

To the bolded:  That was me!  (I'm just now seeing this post for some reason, probably because I was out sick last week).  I'm still not engaged, but I still have it, because it's flipping gorgeous and I paid for it myself.  I have, however, quit trying it on.  And it's at my parents house, and it's NOT going with me when I move to Georgia in a couple of months.

I have definite BSC tendencies that I can't always keep under control.  Mr. H actually really helps when I get that way, because he reminds me that he does very much want to get married (to me) and that circumstances are just not right at the moment.  But I just have to own the BSC sometimes.  It has definitely come back to bite me in the ass a time or two.

Blackbird230

I have definitely had my BSC moments. But then I watch Bridezillas and the world is a better place.

jenjen047

@teddygirl9 - how annoying that people keep asking!

@futuremrshistorian - haha i love that you bought a dress. i could see myself doing the same, which is why i am staying away from anything bridal related.

BF and i had a talk yesterday and i asked him to stop brigning it up.....pretty much every day one of us would make a joke or mention getting engaged in a teasing/coy way. we were both guilty of it, but it definitely wasnt helping. so we agreed no more until it actually happens. hopefully that helps....

[Deleted User]

@jenjen047 - I think that will help a lot.  I remember right after Mr. H and I had our first "Yes, we definitely want to get married" conversation, I kept bringing it up frequently after that.  I don't know if it was because I was so excited or because some part of my subconscious wanted to make sure that the fact that he did want to marry me was continually reinforced, but it got really old really fast.  One day he looked at me and said, "Why can't we just talk the way we used to?"  That hit home, and I made a conscious effort to stop bringing it up.  Now, if I feel the need to get a little BSC, I immediately go to my BFF instead.  She'll listen to me for about 10 minutes and then bring me back to reality.

The fact is, we're much closer and our relationship got much stronger the minute I decided to really try to live in it in the present instead of in the future.  I'm a planner (in all things...every box for my upcoming move is labeled and color-coded).  I'm still excited about our future together, but I'm a little less obsessed with the getting married aspect and a little more focused on making sure we're a solid team.

jenjen047

@futuremrshistorian - i agree! at least we were both guilty of bringing it up so i dont feel like hes thinking "who is this wedding obsessed lunatic and where has my sane GF gone??" ive been there with my ex and it was so embarrassing!

ETF spelling

nicemarmot

We chose the ring together last week.. it takes up to three weeks, but we already agreed our engagement day (July 25th, our anniversary). The ring is soooo beautiful, I can't wait for it to arrive, and even when it does, I don't get to wear it until the 25th. I guess you could say that we're already engaged, we're eloping to Las Vegas on March 2016 and already have the tickets and even the chapel booked, but I can't wait to be "officially" engaged! I made a countdown garland, and we take turns cutting a little heart off it every day. 77 hearts left, sigh. 

jenjen047

@nicemarmot - i think you are already engaged. congrats!!!! what does the ring look like?

nicemarmot

@twodimes

OK so it's a bit of a strange situation, in that we already booked the flights and venue... obviously to us we are engaged. But we also discussed that we would get engaged "officially" in July. I just can't wait to be wearing the ring and announce it to people. It's strange -this is my second marriage and I'm in my 40s and I feel pathetic saying it and I know that I sound like an impatient little girl. I should just enjoy the moment, I know.

@jenjen037  

Thank you! It was designed my a good friend of mine who's a jeweler. It's a very modern design, it's a concave cut amethyst (it means that the facets in the bottom, the ones that meet in a little point, are concave instead of flat). Here's a picture from her website of a ring that is similar in style and with a stone cut the same way. Mine will be yellow gold. I didn't want a diamond.  

Edited because link didn't work

jenjen047

@nicemarmot wow thats so cool! ive never seen a ring like that, its gorgeous!

nicemarmot

@jenjen047 thank you :-) you said you're putting a list together of recipes to try... what are your top three? I recently bought a pasta making machine and aim to master homemade ravioli. Doing well with linguine, fettuccine and cappelletti, but the perfect ravioli is eluding me!

Edited spelling 

jenjen047

@nicemarmot - wow thats ambitious! i have a recipe for a curry chicken salad i want to make and then ive been making lots of dishes from skinnytaste like her mustard herb crusted chicken yummmm

thisismynickname2

Hi! I'm an OMH and want to offer my BSC: 

I bought my wedding dress before I was engaged. 

DH was the one to bring up getting engaged and he was very forthcoming with a timeline. I had been scoping wedding dresses for ages, because obviously, but not long after that conversation I came across a great deal on a wonderful dress and... snagged it. He still doesn't know I bought it before we chose the ring and he popped the question.

In observing my friends who have also historically exhibited BSC behavior, I think a lot of it comes from external pressure. Parents and other older family members are just the worst. If people would just lay off the pressure and expectations and questions, it would be easier to sit back and just enjoy the relationship. Nevermind all the other accomplishments, like promotions and completing triathlons or buying a home, nooooo nope. Gotta get that ring! Ugh. 

Swazzle

thisismynickname said:

Hi! I'm an OMH and want to offer my BSC: 

I bought my wedding dress before I was engaged. 

DH was the one to bring up getting engaged and he was very forthcoming with a timeline. I had been scoping wedding dresses for ages, because obviously, but not long after that conversation I came across a great deal on a wonderful dress and... snagged it. He still doesn't know I bought it before we chose the ring and he popped the question.

In observing my friends who have also historically exhibited BSC behavior, I think a lot of it comes from external pressure. Parents and other older family members are just the worst. If people would just lay off the pressure and expectations and questions, it would be easier to sit back and just enjoy the relationship. Nevermind all the other accomplishments, like promotions and completing triathlons or buying a home, nooooo nope. Gotta get that ring! Ugh. 

GoldenPenguin

Swazzle said:

thisismynickname said:

Hi! I'm an OMH and want to offer my BSC: 

I bought my wedding dress before I was engaged. 

DH was the one to bring up getting engaged and he was very forthcoming with a timeline. I had been scoping wedding dresses for ages, because obviously, but not long after that conversation I came across a great deal on a wonderful dress and... snagged it. He still doesn't know I bought it before we chose the ring and he popped the question.

In observing my friends who have also historically exhibited BSC behavior, I think a lot of it comes from external pressure. Parents and other older family members are just the worst. If people would just lay off the pressure and expectations and questions, it would be easier to sit back and just enjoy the relationship. Nevermind all the other accomplishments, like promotions and completing triathlons or buying a home, nooooo nope. Gotta get that ring! Ugh. 

Not only your first bolded, but also my second italicized bolded. 

thisismynickname2

GoldenPenguin said: Swazzle said: thisismynickname said:Hi! I'm an OMH and want to offer my BSC: 
I bought my wedding dress before I was engaged. 
DH was the one to bring up getting engaged and he was very forthcoming with a timeline. I had been scoping wedding dresses for ages, because obviously, but not long after that conversation I came across a great deal on a wonderful dress and... snagged it. He still doesn't know I bought it before we chose the ring and he popped the question.
In observing my friends who have also historically exhibited BSC behavior, I think a lot of it comes from external pressure. Parents and other older family members are just the worst. If people would just lay off the pressure and expectations and questions, it would be easier to sit back and just enjoy the relationship. Nevermind all the other accomplishments, like promotions and completing triathlons or buying a home, nooooo nope. Gotta get that ring! Ugh. 






Not only your first bolded, but also my second italicized bolded. 



Well, by scoping, I mean watching Say Yes to the Dress and occasionally looking up dresses online. I bought mine online from Nordstrom, an evening dress; it's not like I cruised to David's Bridal and tried on stuff. I wasn't that crazy. If the dress arrived and didn't fit I would have shipped it back- no harm no foul. 

Swazzle

thisismynickname said:

GoldenPenguin said:

Swazzle said:

thisismynickname said:

Hi! I'm an OMH and want to offer my BSC: 

I bought my wedding dress before I was engaged. 

DH was the one to bring up getting engaged and he was very forthcoming with a timeline. I had been scoping wedding dresses for ages, because obviously, but not long after that conversation I came across a great deal on a wonderful dress and... snagged it. He still doesn't know I bought it before we chose the ring and he popped the question.

In observing my friends who have also historically exhibited BSC behavior, I think a lot of it comes from external pressure. Parents and other older family members are just the worst. If people would just lay off the pressure and expectations and questions, it would be easier to sit back and just enjoy the relationship. Nevermind all the other accomplishments, like promotions and completing triathlons or buying a home, nooooo nope. Gotta get that ring! Ugh. 

Not only your first bolded, but also my second italicized bolded. 

Well, by scoping, I mean watching Say Yes to the Dress and occasionally looking up dresses online. I bought mine online from Nordstrom, an evening dress; it's not like I cruised to David's Bridal and tried on stuff. I wasn't that crazy. If the dress arrived and didn't fit I would have shipped it back- no harm no foul. 

jenjen047

@thisismynickname - i havent felt any external pressure. my parents arent hounding me/us on when we are going to get engaged and i def still have my BSC moments! i think it can be lots of things. for me its mostly that im excited and looking forward to taking that next step with BF so im like a little kid in the weeks before xmas! and i definitely let myself day dream and get excited about it, but i am also trying to enjoy the suspense, instead of seeing it as a negative.

thisismynickname2

Swazzle, on a thread specifically designed for people to share their BSC moments, on a board specifically dedicated to people to commiserate on how they're not yet engaged, you're going to judge me?

No wonder I only lurk on this board once in a blue moon. 

Swazzle

thisismynickname said:

Swazzle, on a thread specifically designed for people to share their BSC moments, on a board specifically dedicated to people to commiserate on how they're not yet engaged, you're going to judge me?

No wonder I only lurk on this board once in a blue moon. 

Considering the board is notoriously against pre-planning (there's a sticky at the top of the page, guess you missed it though since you're only here "once in a blue moon") and buying a wedding dress before getting engaged is the epitome of BSC (which, in case you didn't know, stands for Bat Shit Crazy), yes, I am going to side-eye that.

Feel free to go back to lurking.

GoldenPenguin

thisismynickname said:

Swazzle, on a thread specifically designed for people to share their BSC moments, on a board specifically dedicated to people to commiserate on how they're not yet engaged, you're going to judge me?

No wonder I only lurk on this board once in a blue moon. 

There is little to no "commiserating" here. We save that for the Waiting List on Wedding Bee.

Buying a wedding dress before you're engaged is BEYOND a "BSC moment," it's straight up CRAZYTOWN. 

You copped to buying a wedding dress before you were engaged, and that your husband still doesn't know that that occurred. The fact that you hid that from him is fairly telling - perhaps he'd actually agree that it was lunacy? 

The moon doesn't look blue today. Perhaps you can practice some more of your backpedaling before the next one.

jenjen047

agree with @swazzle. BSC =/= pre-planning, but i did ask for people to share their BSC stories, so i thank @thisismynickname for that! i think you have to know that a lot of ppl will side-eye you for pre-planning but you have to just own it (and use hindsight to acknowledge that it was BSC, like i did with my story in my original post). obviously it sounds like it worked out for you, so thats really all that matters.

bethsmiles

thisismynickname said:

Swazzle, on a thread specifically designed for people to share their BSC moments, on a board specifically dedicated to people to commiserate on how they're not yet engaged, you're going to judge me?

No wonder I only lurk on this board once in a blue moon. 

Ughh...really? I'm not engaged but for the love of god please don't pity me and feel the need to commiserate with me because of that fact.

One thing I love about this board is that they will call you out on your crazy. Admitting something was BSC doesn't make it less side-eye worthy.

untouchablets

I'm loving the events that have transpired here, and I'm with @bethsmiles, I'm NEY also and don't really feel bad about it, and don't appreciate others making me feel bad about it. Just waiting for it to happen when we are ready and staving off the BSC is a pleasant side effect of hanging out here

I haven't seen any "commiseration" going on here, at all, btw.

nicemarmot

O M G just went to see this Waiting List that @GoldenPenguin referred to.

Speechless. Didn't know such a thing existed.

Wow.

kaitlynmichelle

My BIL's ex always wanted to go try on wedding dresses, but I always was strongly against it. It felt wrong because ... neither of us were engaged.

I can't wrap my head around buying a dress before I was engaged.