October 2015 Weddings

What are you stressing about today?

So after a few-month hiatus, I'm back in super planning mode and stressing hard. Here are a few of my grievances: 

1) Bridesmaid dresses. The whole "all things mismatched" thing didn't end up working out, so now I'm scrambling to figure out a way to make all 6 bridesmaids happy and comfortable, while also looking uniform and NOT like a group of high school besties going to prom together. 

2) Save the Dates. Are. Still. Not. MAILED! They've been sitting on my bureau since early March. My fiancé can't seem to get his massive family's addresses in order. STRESS

3) Cake. Like, what the hell. Why are they so expensive. At least he's finally agreed to cupcakes!

4) Favors. Do I even need them? Or are people just going to throw them away? WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY!

5) My dress. So my sister just bought HER dress for her June 2016 wedding, and now mine's starting to pale in comparison. Sister rivalry/jealousy/dress envy/last-minute regret? I dunno. I just wanna be pretty. And the salt in the wound? She bought the dress I originally wanted but didn't think I could afford. She got it discounted for the same price I paid for the dress I have now. OUCH.

6) Hair. I stopped dyeing it in October and my hair dresser can't do ANYTHING to take the layers of black away. So now, I look like a weird semi-blonde skunk. Please tell me I'll look pretty on my wedding day. 

7) Wedding timing. We're have a Sunday wedding. I want to start at 3 pm, so everything will be over by the young ones' bedtimes (and also my bedtime, let's be real). Fiancé wants everything to start later in the evening to "party into the night" and doesn't think people will leave early. Going up on a Sunday? I think not. This is a hill I will surely die on.

Dear god, please help me.


(formerly rusticbride27)

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Re: What are you stressing about today?

  • oH YEAH AND THE FLOWERS. The stupid flowers. How could I forget. 

    A friend offered to do them as a gift, as she works at a flower shop and could pay wholesale prices. We gladly accepted. Now her boss is pissed off at her for making such an offer and keeps wanting to meet with us to, ultimately, make us pay for something we didn't even ask for in the first place. We just wanted some simple sunflowers and baby's breath. Why is this turning into such an ordeal?! Additionally, the shop is like 3 hours away from our wedding venue, so it doesn't even make sense for us to sign a contact to work with the shop directly. Because then that'll turn into travel costs.

    I'm just going to buy some baby's breath at Stop and Shop. Deal? Deal.
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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  • Here are my thoughts: 

    1)  I had to make 7 bridesmaids ranging from age 9 to size 24 happy so what I did was narrow it down to 3 styles that I liked, all in the same color from the same designer (or it's sister designer).  The girls got to pick from those designs and ultimately all body types were accommodated for.  Hopefully something like that could work for you.

    2)  My save the dates are not mailed yet either.  My fiance is sort of slacking on some addresses as well but fortunately I've got most addressed.  If you're close with any of his siblings or parents (if he has either), ask them for ones they might have or ask family on facebook.  I've pushed back my save the date mailing deadline to mid May and I think timing will be okay if you do the same.

    3)  Cake is crazy expensive! Check a place like Costco or Sam's Club to see if they do wedding cakes...or you could get a foam cake decorated and have cupcakes

    4)  No you don't need them.  We're doing something simple though time consuming (my grandma's caramels).  You could do something as easy as a few hershey's kisses...IMO edible favors are the best...people will throw away personalized (Bride & Groom name and date) favors or they'll sit on a shelf for years

    5) Your dress is your dress and you picked it for a reason.  People will see yours first and your guests will remember your beauty that day, not your dress details. That is unfortunate though that its a dress you liked.

    6) See above, people will remember your beauty.  My pastor reminded me last week that 20 years from now, little details probably won't be remembered (i.e. what I had for dinner). Obviously you'll have pictures forever but your hair color isn't what matters that day...ask your hairdresser for opinions on colors that are lighter if you prefer lighter hair.

    7)  I almost feel that you should start a little earlier than 3...we're having a 3:30 wedding and a 6-12 reception on a Saturday.  People will likely leave early if they did not take Monday off.

    8) You can usually get a good deal on flowers at places like Costco & Sam's Club...Take a look around to see what you can get for flowers in bulk in your area and then have your friend arrange them.  I think there was a place around MN that has wholesale flowers where you can go and arrange them then keep them in their coolers but I don't remember what it was called.  
    That's really unfortunate that she didn't clear buying flowers wholesale with her boss but that's something she should have figured out beforehand and not stressed you out about.  

    Good luck!  This stress will pass, it just comes in waves!
  • eilis1228eilis1228 Southwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    1) I picked a designer, a fabric, a color, and a length (Bill Levkoff, chiffon, plum, floor length). I let each BM choose a dress that fit that criteria that they liked best. One is in s strapless dress, one has an illusion neckline, one has a halter, etc. It still looks very uniform, but each BM is comfortable and happy. 

    2) Don't stress too much about Save the Dates. Mail them without all of his addresses if you need to. You can invite people who do not receive Save the Dates, so just make sure you have all the addresses in time for the invitations.

    3) Cake was surprisingly expensive. I totally commiserate! 

    4) You definitely don't need favors. If you're doing a photo booth, a lot of people consider that to be a favor. We're doing a photo booth and also a candy bar with his & her favorites. I'm going to grab a bunch of candy at Costco to save money. I think candy is something that people will definitely take and enjoy.

    5) Aw, I'm sorry that your sister got your dream dress. You got your dress for a reason, and you will be beautiful on your wedding day!

    6) You will look pretty on your wedding day!

    7) I would suggest an earlier time for a Sunday wedding. People will definitely leave early on a Sunday wedding if they didn't take Monday off.

    8) A friend of mine who got married a few years ago went with her mom to Costco the night before her wedding and bought a ton of flowers for cheap. She, her mom, her aunt, and some BMs put together all the bouquets and flower arrangements the night before. Everything looked great, and they didn't spend an arm and a leg on the flowers.


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  • you will look beautiful, and no one will be able to know if something went wrong!

    I am doing fake flowers, they can be done months before the wedding and cheaply.. they have sunflowers and baby's breath almost anywhere, and the quality real touch flowers are hard to tell they are not real..
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  • LINENS....why are they so expensive to rent? And I don't want to buy because then I have to iron them and set them up and clean them....ugh!
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  • @Tiffany101015 Are they?! I'm so sorry! Our venue included ours in our dinner package, so that wasn't an expense I ever considered. 

    Thanks for the reassurance, eilis1228ryanandjoe4! :) I'm not stressing about most of these things anymore... as of last week, we have:

    1) Bridesmaid dresses will be picked out next week! I've made an appointment at David's with 5/6 of my bridesmaids (one is on opposite coast and will be FaceTimed in), and they're all super open to whatever I decide to do.

    2) Save the Dates. Are. MAILED! 

    3) Cupcake baker has been booked! We actually met her at the tasting for our wedding venue (venue is catering), and her cupcakes are out of this world! And because she's a preferred vendor, the prices are excellent and we won't be charged for setup!

    4) Favors. We are in the process of designing our cookbooks!

    5) My dress. I bought a new one and was able to sell my old one for a profit!

    6) Hair. It's... getting there. I'm in this awkward skunk mullet phase, but I wear it up everyday so nobody will notice. I'm going to get it dyed again soon to see if some of the black will lift. I've decided that extensions will be best, rather than stressing over my natural length!

    7) Wedding timing. He's agreed to 3 p.m., though I still think that's late for a Sunday. 

    8) Flowers... still up in the air.

    (formerly rusticbride27)

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    kasasr1024
  • @rusticbride27, I'm telling you Costco, Sam's, whatever and have your friend arrange them.  If you want to arrange them yourself/with wedding party, it's going to be really tough to do fresh flowers yourself since they need to be done 1-2 days before...If you're wanting to do them yourself, buy silk now and you can do stuff now until the wedding.  There are also shops on Etsy that will sell packages of premade silk bouquets...Lily of Angeles has beautiful stuff.
  • @kschaefer90 That's probably what we'll end up doing. I think our friend is starting to get annoyed with us because we keep dodging opportunities to go drive and meet with her boss... but it's like, hey, I didn't sign up for this!
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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    kasasr1024
  • @kschaefer90 Those are so cute! I love the third one--my colors and everything! :)
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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    kasasr1024
  • @rusticbride27, the third one is my favorite by far!  
  • I'm stressing about decorations. I can't afford flowers but I can't find any flowerless centerpieces I like.

    I'm having me wedding a 3:30p on a Sunday. I'm sure most will leave early.


  • I don't know what your colors or theme are but i absolutely LOVE these:
    I think that along with a smaller candle holder and a floating candle would look nice
  • kasasr1024kasasr1024 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2015
    I priced out the ones above using supplies from Target & Hobby Lobby:

    4" jar- 1.24-1.99 depending on shape Hobby Lobby
    20 votive candles- 5.99 Hobby Lobby
    24 ft of pearl trim- 0.99 Hobby Lobby
    10 lbs of sugar- 5.36 Target

    My thought is you could take a jar, put some sugar in, cut some of the pearls from the trim (there's baby pink and a little bit darker than champagne) and put them in the jar then put the ivory candle in.  If you have mirrors, the light would reflect off of them and you could scatter pearls on the mirrors as well.

    For about 20 centerpieces it would cost about $60- depending on shipping costs if you order online.

    Just a thought!  I'd love to help with ideas if you need more!
  • @rusticbride27 We are also doing sunflowers! If you have a Publix around there go with them! A family friend works there and is doing all of our arrangements, she is ordering them through the store (which they automatically get the cheapest wholesale ones) and she is arranging them at her home.  If you don't have a Publix, Sam's Club or Costco work the same!
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  • I think I'm stressing about things I'm NOT stressing about, if that makes sense.  I've been unusually calm the past few months and not really worried about much of anything with the wedding planning, but hearing other brides around me and on TK about how stressed they are.  Now I'm honestly afraid I'm forgetting something major or don't realize I'm procrastinating on something and am going to be freaking out come September.

    Thoughts on how to collect yourself and map out what you still have left to do?  Maybe I just need a good day of list-making and a sanity-check.



  • I think I'm stressing about things I'm NOT stressing about, if that makes sense.  I've been unusually calm the past few months and not really worried about much of anything with the wedding planning, but hearing other brides around me and on TK about how stressed they are.  Now I'm honestly afraid I'm forgetting something major or don't realize I'm procrastinating on something and am going to be freaking out come September.

    Thoughts on how to collect yourself and map out what you still have left to do?  Maybe I just need a good day of list-making and a sanity-check.
    I am in the same boat, other than I am growing impatient for my dress to come in, I am not stressed about much. I just check my to-do list weekly make sure everything is getting done.. I wonder the same thing, if I am missing a bunch of stuff.. I am writing it off to, it pays to be organized, I hope that is it!
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  • I think I'm stressing about things I'm NOT stressing about, if that makes sense.  I've been unusually calm the past few months and not really worried about much of anything with the wedding planning, but hearing other brides around me and on TK about how stressed they are.  Now I'm honestly afraid I'm forgetting something major or don't realize I'm procrastinating on something and am going to be freaking out come September.

    Thoughts on how to collect yourself and map out what you still have left to do?  Maybe I just need a good day of list-making and a sanity-check.
    I am in the same boat, other than I am growing impatient for my dress to come in, I am not stressed about much. I just check my to-do list weekly make sure everything is getting done.. I wonder the same thing, if I am missing a bunch of stuff.. I am writing it off to, it pays to be organized, I hope that is it!
    Ditto to the bolded!  Thanks - glad to see I'm not the only one feeling that way!


    ryanandjoe4
  • I am stressing out about one of my bridesmaids dropping out a few days go.  It was a huge mess of crazy drama, but I am trying to not let it get to me. 

    Other than that I seem to have a calming grip on mine and my fiancés wedding. All the vendors have been decided on, we did our tasting last week and it was delicious, now all I have is to get my invitations ready to be sent out (who knew how much stamps would be!).

  • csenden said:

    I am stressing out about one of my bridesmaids dropping out a few days go.  It was a huge mess of crazy drama, but I am trying to not let it get to me. 

    Other than that I seem to have a calming grip on mine and my fiancés wedding. All the vendors have been decided on, we did our tasting last week and it was delicious, now all I have is to get my invitations ready to be sent out (who knew how much stamps would be!).

    I had the same thing my MOH bailed, but we are talking again and other than I feel weird leaving her out of the details now, it is one day and if you want them to be your friend then it will get better.. :)
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  • All of it....today I am stressing about all of it! We are going to Sturgis in less than two weeks and will be gone for three weeks, I am trying to be completely optimistic and say that SUUUURE I will TOTALLY get wedding things done. while traveling. while working twelve hour days. while in one of my favorite places to visit. ......sooo yeah there's that.....
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  • cj&kcj&k member
    Ninth Anniversary First Comment
    Stressing about the 3 inches in my upper back I have to lose in 3 months.UGH
  • Stressing about how 2 months before we get married, my fiance is moving to a city 4 hours away... leaving my crazy sober ass to handle the wedding, fixer upper house we bought, and our needy dog by myself. I have never wanted a drink more than now, but I'm too scared of my personal trainer to break open that bottle of wine I've been eyeing.  

    [Deleted User]
  • roxobxroxobx member
    First Comment
    We have changed our date a few times and now decided Wednesday to definitely get married this October vs next. Stressed? Not in the slightest </sarcasm font>
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  • We can do this!!! I believe in all of you!! (I've finally left the stress phase and entered the super-excited phase, lol! Except that we still haven't picked out suits... shhh...)
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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  • Ok, I'm kind of stressing about the invitations.  I was slacking a little on them and they have kind of sneaked up on me.  I ordered the actual invites from WPD a while ago and have had them for weeks, but my plan was to embellish them myself and I'm also handwriting the addresses like I did for the STDs.  

    Welp, my plan was to get them out by the 10-week mark and that came and went this past weekend!  I'm hoping to get them out by end of this week but I still have a lot to do... Have to buy the stamps, waiting for a couple little stickers and things to come in, stamp return addresses on envelopes, stuff everything into the enclosure/folder thing, tie them up with bakers twine and little tags, then stuff and write the addresses on them - we are sending 103 total I think.  GOD I suck.  Things just keep coming up after work when I plan to rush home and work on them, and we've been away every weekend for the past month.  I definitely did not consider our crazy summer schedules when planning this major project, one of my only DIYs.  I think I just need to let go of wanting to get them out a teeny bit early and just accept that they will be sent by the 8-week mark, and everyone will live.  And also that in reality, most of these just get thrown away :/

    In positive news, we did get our guest transportation booked last week! :)


    [Deleted User]
  • @frenchiekin My 10-week mark also just passed on Sunday, and I'm just starting to assemble my invitations this week! We're just using clear address labels with a pretty font, but it's definitely time consuming. We're assembling them in batches and hoping to get them out by next week.
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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    frenchiekin
  • I'm stressing about the details I have to put together and the breakdowns I'm now having weekly! :(
  • I started planning early and got a lot of the big stuff done right away, then I took several months off from planning. A couple of weeks ago I woke up and realized there was so much left to do! Well I've made a a big giant list and gotten my fiance's help and we've started chipping away at it.

    We've made a lot of headway since I started the list and it feels good to start checking things off again. The biggest things left are centerpieces and bouquets. I am making paper flowers for both. 

    I also realized that I need decorations for the aisle and alter too... Not sure what I'm going to do there. We are getting married in the courtyard of a castle (inside the castle if it rains) so there is a lot of natural beauty but I feel like having nothing will look bad so I've got to brainstorm some ideas.
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  • @engagedhamstermom PInterest has been my BFF throughout the planning process. Everything from decorations to hairstyles to vow-writing tips. If you haven't done so already, I would highly recommend browsing for ideas there!
    (formerly rusticbride27)

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    ryanandjoe4
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