Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Did you keep your maiden name?


Re: Did you keep your maiden name?

  • I'm moving my maiden name to my middle name and taking FI's last name. My last name is really common, and FI's name is much more unique. I didn't want to give up my maiden name and toyed with the idea of hyphenation, but that seems like a real pain.

    Professionally, I'll probably go by First Maiden Last for at least a while to transition. 

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  • I know someone who legally changed her name to her new husband's last name but professionally adopted her maiden name as a second middle name/initial, since she had already begun to establish herself with her maiden name. I think that is probably what I will do. 

    The name change process is daunting, but it's something that feels important to me personally, probably for boring and traditional reasons :). I also know we'll have kids and I think for that reason taking his last name is important -- FMIL still keeps her ex's last name even though she hates him (and really I can't begin to express how hostile their relationship is) because she wanted to have that obvious connection to her children. 
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Not changing my name was always important to me, but my FI is more traditional than I am and always envisioned a little family with his name.  But he said that having me was more important than me having his name.

    I figured, if he could compromise without judgement so could I so I am going to legally hyphen our names, but not make any public or professional name changes.  My willingness to attach his name to mine really meant a lot, and I don't feel like I'm losing my name which is important to me.

  • I'm planning on changing my name. I've always been in the camp of "I'll change my name if I like it just as much or better than mine" since I have no opposition to changing my name, and no particular attachment to my name. 

    I think you should do what you want to do. My mom never took my dad's name and kept her maiden name, and my aunt did the same thing, but most other women in my family did change their name. 

    My FI's last name is unique, as it's Vietnamese, so I like that...and I can't really do the hyphenated thing because then my name would be entirely too long (I already have 2 middle names!)...and I don't have to worry about my initials changing as both our last names start with an 'H', nor do I have to worry about having a super long last name as both of ours have 5 letters. I will have to get used to spelling both my first and last names though, but that's no biggie.
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I kept mine.  It's who I am and I didn't really want to change it.  I think I would have felt differently if I had been much younger when I met/married DH.  

    DH is also Chilean (and grew up in Quebec too), so in his family, it's customary to keep the maiden name and pass both to the kids.  So legally he's DadsLN MomsLN but he just goes by DadsLN.  So he really didn't care what I did since he's used to that.  

    I'm also lazy and couldn't be bothered to change all of that.  My degrees are in my maiden name, and I teach, so all of my kids know me by my maiden name.  Actually, DH is Mr. WinstonsGirl to my students, as it was just easier than explaining 2 last names if I mentioned him, so at my work, his was the social name change.  He finds it kinda funny 

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  • I will not be changing my last name. I did not go to grad school for 10 years and become Dr. XYZ to change it now.

    I still have to figure out how to get my ex's last name of my Master's degree diploma...
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'll be taking his last name, but like many others, I'll wait until after the honeymoon. We're going back to work 2 weeks after the wedding, then a week long cruise perhaps.  Good to know there's no time limits!  I can see why many want to keep theirs though. 

  • Professionally I will keep mine. My job is media-related and it is already long established. Legally I will make my maiden name a second middle and add Fi's LN. Partially because I am actually looking forward to having some separation of my public self and personal self, and most people who know what his last name is are people who actually know me in person. Also partially because fi is so excited for me to be Mrs.Fi that lately he's been swiping my credit card slips when we are out and I buy something and signing them with my FN and his LN, so it is obviously a big deal to him.
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