Customs and Traditions

Did you keep your maiden name?

I keep going back and forth between changing my last name after I'm married and keeping my last name. I was just wondering how many of you chose to keep your maiden name and why?
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Re: Did you keep your maiden name?

  • I'll be keeping my name because my initials are important.  I'm ADK#1, my sister, two cousins, and two cousins's kids are ADK#2-6.  Also, I'm 38 years old, I've been my name for 38 years, I don't want to change now.
    kimmiinthemitten[Deleted User]
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I changed my name. My maiden name is now my middle name.

    FWIW, you don't have to decide right now. You can change your name a any time, if you decide to does so. It doesn't have to be right after the wedding.

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    ladywellSP29
  • I will be keeping my name. The women in my family do. My son has my FI's last name. I'm sure that at some point I will be called Mrs. FI's last name. It's no biggie. My name is my name for professional reasons, people will call me whatever.
  • I kept mine because I didn't want to change it. It's important to me. DH didn't want to change his, so he kept it. 

    The biggest problem it has presented has been that people address me incorrectly even when they know I've kept my name. 

    There's a pretty good thread about people who kept their last names here: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1037264/stories-from-those-who-kept-their-last-names 
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  • edited May 2015
    I keep going back and forth too. I figure at some point what I want will be clear. Nowadays you can pretty much do whatever you want. I have a sister that changed hers and another that added a 4th name, no hyphen and no removing the original middle name (similar to what they do in South America and Spain). My mom changed her last name officially, but still goes by her maiden name professionally. So many options!
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I didn't change mine and have no intention of doing so in the future. I like my name, I've had it for over 30 years. I have a large professional network built around my name, including having been published under it. Plus, DH's last name is 3.5x longer than mine, and I'm way too lazy for that.
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I knew from the get go that I was going to change my name.  I liked my maiden name but never felt a super strong attachment to it.  I don't feel like changing my name meant that I was going to change.  I am still the same person.  I just wanted to have my H's last name.  Simple as that.

    Keep your last name or change it, is completely up to you and you alone.  

  • I changed my name. My DH and I discussed him changing his, but in the end I ended up changing mine. He decided he was changing his for the wrong reasons, and I didn't care if I changed my name, so it worked out. It doesn't change who I am as a person, and I am still my parents' daughter, even though my name is different now. The important thing to us was having the same name. I love my new name and have no regrets.
  • I love my married name, but I added my maiden name as a second middle name. My husband is German and I am Mexican, so I couldn't bear to eliminate my maiden name because I wanted to keep that piece of my heritage with me.
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    Knottie3135957
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    KatWAG said:

    I changed my name. My maiden name is now my middle name.




    I did this too!

    Although, honestly, now I wish that I'd just kept my original middle name. But oh well.

    It doesn't help that I just really didn't like DH's last name though, and think that mine was better.

  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    I had always planned on changing my last name and was excited to change it to DH's. My initials were M.E.G. and i go by my middle name, Emma. I didn't want to drop my first name, Mary, because it is a family name and I didn't want my initials to be E.G.G. So I just dropped my maiden name because I love my first and middle names a lot.

  • I'm planning on changing my name but only until after the honeymoon (which is in 3 weeks--- we just got married 1.5 weeks ago!).  I didn't feel like going through the hassle of rushing to get the passport stuff changed until afterwards as well as the stuff at work.

    I really like my name and I've had it for 34 years but I'm certainly OK with my new name.  It's definitely a personal choice and it's certainly up to you!

  • Keep both! If it'll fit on your social security card, there shouldn't be a problem. I have known several people who chose to do that.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I didn't change my birth name. I didn't keep it for any compelling reason. It was more that there was no reason to change it. 

    I echo what PP mentioned. There is no rule that you have to change it or even make the decision when you get married. I knew a woman that decided to take her husband's name 15 years after they got married. 
  • mklammklam member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    Im doing both. Partly because I like his name but it doesn't mesh well with mine, so the buffer with my last name before his will work out way better. 

    Also, I'm established in my career and my credentials and degrees will all be with my maiden name...
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  • I was really going back and forth.  I would like to stay traditional and take his name but love my own.  However ,I do not like hyphens.  I think now I will keep my last name for a second middle name.  Thanks to all
  • I'm doing both. My DL and Passport have my maiden name, I'm not changing it. Then I'd have to change my vehicle registration and titles....just not worth it. I also have professional licenses in my maiden name, which I will NOT be changing either. Since FI is military, I have to use his name on my military ID and for Tricare. I'm not sure what I plan on doing with my SSN. Probably first name, middle name, maiden name, married name. It doesn't really matter as far as things with banks, credit checks, etc. Both names will ALWAYS be attached to your SSN as far as records go.
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  • I kept my maiden name.  So did my aunt and my mom so it wasn't unusual for me.  I actually don't  understand wanting to change your name.  Whatever floats your boat, but I'm unsure why having the same last name makes people feel more like a family, especially in this day and age with divorce, remarriage, kids from different marriages, etc.  
  • When I was married to my first husband, I kept my name unchanged for the first two years we were married. Then after he shared with me that it was bothering him, I took on his last name but kept my original name as part of it--essentially I then had a first name, two middle names, and his last name. I found it so odd (although I understand the legality of it) that when we divorced, I had to ask the judge if I could go back to my maiden name. It just bugged me at the thought that something that was mine to begin with I now had to ask for. Now that I'm engaged again and have an even more established career, I don't want to take on a new last name again. My fiancé is supportive of this and agreed that if the roles were reversed and it was almost expected that he give up a part of his identity, he wouldn't like it. So I think this time I will be keeping my maiden name for good.
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    Blue_Bird
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I changed mine. My maiden name is a pain in the rear to spell and I dreamed of marrying a Smith. Didn't happen. Husband's name is at least shorter. 
    I did not have a professional network built around the name, but if I had, then I would have wanted to keep it. 
    I know there are strong opinions on keeping one's name given at birth and respect that. But, I do really like having the same name as my husband to identify us as a family unit. He could have changed his name to match mine for the same effect, but in this case I really wanted to get an easier name! 
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  • I'm not changing my name. I don't like the way my first name sounds with his last name, and I'm rather attached to my name anyway. It was curated just for me :) At one point I threatened to just mash our names together..since my name ends in two D's and his name STARTS with a D, it would have three "D's" right in the middle and be super silly. Obviously I decided against that but it did make me laugh. The good thing about right now is you can do whatever fits you best!
  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I kept my maiden. My mom and sister did the same so it wasn't unusual. My name's already long enough- I have 2 middle names, the second being my mom's maiden. I suppose I could have lost a middle name but I like my name and didn't want to change everything. I can always change my mind later.
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  • I am changing my last name at some point after the wedding, not the week after because of travel/passport stuff but within the first year.

    It is kind of funny that I am changing it as in a past relationship (dating not married) I was so  DEAD SET against it. When the ex had asked me to change my name if we got married I was offended. I felt like he was asking me to leave my family behind and ignore my roots. My last name is extremely unique...as in, I am the only one with it in this country and anyone with my last name is a relative of some sort. It is just very tied to who I am and where I come from.

    HOWEVER, with my FI it is just so different. It does help that his last name is just as odd as mine is. Maybe a bit more common but not even close to something like Smith (no offense to my Knot "Smith" friends!). But I really think it was the fact that he did not push me. It was always, "Whatever you want aliwis000, it is your name." We had already decided the kids would have his name and I am cool with that especially since he will be the only one able to carry on the name from his family. Now though I want his last name. I think of it as being on a team and I want to have a team name.

    I will be dropping my middle name, moving my last name to the middle and taking his last name. So I will still have it in there and I never did care for my middle name anyway.

    I think it should totally be up to the individual/couple on who changes what. If one person feels super strong about changing it and the other one is just as strong about not then that is a conversation that needs to happen. I am not saying anyone should be pushed into doing/not doing something I just mean communication about this subject should happen. Everyone is different and what works for me/us would not work for others.
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I kept my maiden name. I've been this name for what will probably amount to a third of my life, and I didn't like the idea of "Photofirst Kittylast" no longer existing just bc I got married.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • I'm taking his name. I like it more than my maiden name, it is the tradition for the women in my family, and it's just what I want to do....I would say do whatever makes you happy in terms of your name considering you'll be the one saying and writing it for the rest of your life ;)



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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I assumed his last name on all my legal documents (it's an assumed name change, not a legal name change- which would mean you'd have to change your birth certificate) and socially, but professionally I use my maiden name, as that's what I started my profession using. 
  • I kept my maiden name. I have no intentions of changing it. It is part of my identity and I have multiple degrees and publications in my name. DH was a little thrown at first, but understands.
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  • I am keeping my last name, and FI supports me on that 100%. Neither of us believes in the tradition of the woman changing her name, and I didn't see the point of going to the trouble of changing it when it wouldn't mean anything to either of us.

    If people call me Mrs. Husband'sLastName, I will sometimes let it go but will politely correct them when I feel it is appropriate. I don't expect it to come up very often, since our society usually just uses first names nowadays (and I'd rather be called by my first name anyway).
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  • I really, really, really didn't think I'd ever be okay with taking my FI's last name. It is both his parents' last names hyphenated, so it's long and strange (one Irish and one German). I asked him his feelings on only taking one or on taking one and adding it to mine, on keeping mine, etc. I like my last name, but I like the way it sounds with everything more than I have any sentimental attachment because it's my biological father's. I've even thought about changing it to my mom's maiden name or my step father's before. However, as we became more serious I realized I would rather share his name, the full thing. It's what my children will have as their names. And I've never even heard of anyone else with those two names hyphenated. His parents never married each other and his brothers are both half siblings. Our little crew will have our very own unique surname.





  • Denise40Denise40 Montgomery County, Tx member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    When I got married 32 years ago, I took my then husbands last. To the present, after the divorce I still have his last name. I have my nursing license in his last name and everything else. It's going to be hard to change it after all these years, but I don't think my fiancé would like me to keep my exes last namr.
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