Vow Renewal - Has anyone done this

MelissaSavin

My hubby and I got married in September of 2011 and we are thinking of renewing our vows in 2021.

There are a couple of reasons we want to do this.  First, for me it's about re-commiting to each other after a lot of life changes (kids, house, etc).  Second (ties into #1), my parents got divorced when I was about 8 or 9 but they'd been talking about it for years.  I want my kids to always know that this is real and forever no matter how hard things get.  We were together for nearly 7 years before we got married.  Third, and least important, we were both out of shape when we got married (me, over 200 lbs at 5' tall)...we are on a much healthier path at this point and we both hope to be in much better shape.  And while I wont be spending an arm and a leg on a new dress for the vow renewal I would like the chance to look beautiful for my wedding (again).

Has anyone done this or know anyone who has?  We wouldn't do the day over or anything. Our wedding was our wedding.  It would be us and our kids, maybe our parents and some friends on a beach somewhere.  The plan would be to get re-married (vow renewal) on the beach and go to a restuarant or something for dinner and to celebrate...no formal reception.

What do you all think?

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_vow-renewal-has-anyone-done-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:814d78f7-5b18-43ea-a405-7873e19d5cecPost:a5bd08e9-b9e5-499a-9b56-1d7e17783ed1">Vow Renewal - Has anyone done this</a>:
[QUOTE]My hubby and I got married in September of 2011 and we are thinking of renewing our vows in 2021. There are a couple of reasons we want to do this.  First, for me it's about re-commiting to each other after a lot of life changes (kids, house, etc).  Second (ties into #1), my parents got divorced when I was about 8 or 9 but they'd been talking about it for years.  I want my kids to always know that this is real and forever no matter how hard things get.  We were together for nearly 7 years before we got married.  Third, and least important, we were both out of shape when we got married (me, over 200 lbs at 5' tall)...we are on a much healthier path at this point and we both hope to be in much better shape.  And while I wont be spending an arm and a leg on a new dress for the vow renewal I would like the chance to look beautiful for my wedding (again). Has anyone done this or know anyone who has?  We wouldn't do the day over or anything. Our wedding was our wedding.  It would be us and our kids, maybe our parents and some friends on a beach somewhere.  The plan would be to get re-married (vow renewal) on the beach and go to a restuarant or something for dinner and to celebrate...no formal reception. What do you all think?
Posted by MelissaSavin[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Here's the thing.</div><div>
</div><div>1. It wouldn't be a wedding or getting re-married, because those things imply you are not already married (you get re-married after a divorce or a spouse's death), it would be only a vow renewal. The terms are not interchangable.</div><div>
</div><div>2. While your sentiment is nice, this is way, way too early to be planning for anything like this. You're assuming a lot of things that may or may not happen. Why not just enjoy your marriage for now? A lot can change in 10 years, and you may not even feel a renewal is necessary at that point.</div><div>
</div><div>3. You say you don't want a do-over, but then that you want to look beautiful for your wedding. Which is it? Besides, I'd wager your husband thinks you're beautiful at any size <em>and</em> there's nothing to say you can't do a photo session with him when you make it to your goal together. No need for a pretend wedding, just grab a photographer and dress up.

</div>

MelissaSavin

ok then..thanks.

MelissaSavin

I guess...rather than "what do you think", I mean has anyone here done this - had a vow renewal and if so what were your reasons for doing so? What did you do and where?

Queen Jane

(To be fair, you asked what people thought, and PP was stating exactly that).

I think your intentions are good, since you realize you already had your wedding. I just wouldn't refer to it as getting "re-married",  that wording can be taken the wrong way. I think having the renewal and then going to dinner is fine. I think even if you had a lovely anniversary party that would be alright too, just nothing wedding-y, ya know?

BUT, it is reeeeeeally early to be thinking about it seriously.

FWIW, my BIL and SIL wanted to do a 10 year renewal in Mexico. They wound being pregnant at that time and said maybe another year. Two years later, I haven't heard another thing about it.

I think it's fine to keep it in the back of your mind as an idea for now, but life and circumstances change, so I wouldn't get too hung up on it at the moment.

laurenoliveira23

i dont have much experience with vow renewals .. the only one i know of someone having was my aunt and uncle for their 25 year anniversary and i couldnt even go to that cause it was in the dominican and my parents couldnt afford it (i was still a dependent at the time lol)

but heidi klum and seal would have a vow renewal every year as like an anniversary thing so you could do something like that and make it a tradition

otherwise i think having one after a year ... its very quick

ginadog

I have not but here's a nice link that has lots of details!

http://www.idotaketwo.com/renewing_wedding_vows.html

meganb1977

Our wedding day was a disaster and while we're still dealing with the fallout, if we stay together we are definitely doing a vow renewal as part of the healing process of moving past the horrible wedding.  If you would like to re-commit to each other for your ten year anniversary there's nothing wrong with that and it's something you can think about more when that time gets closer.

MelissaSavin

Thanks Ladies.

Again, it wouldn't be for a long time..but I don't plan on being on the Knot for much longer (as my wedding has already happened).  I just wanted to know if anyone had done it or had gone to one.

Thanks again.

mattycam

I have not had one but one of my good friends had a vow renewal after 7 years of marriage. Her and her husband had been through quite a lot and wanted to start fresh. However, to be honest, her vow renewal was like a "do-over" wedding because she had the bridal party, bought a new wedding dress, had a photographer and all the bells and whistles that come with a wedding. Her vow renewal was on a completely different day than her first wedding.

I know there are many out there who don't approve of do-over weddings but there are many out there that do.

RuthEmily

I think that anytime you want to have a day celebrating the love that you share as a couple is AWESOME. People don't do it enough! And yes, have a photographer because you don't want to be in charge if that! And the memories (even though you're not trying to re-do your wedding) are still priceless! Get a new dress, celebrate it like its a big deal. Because it is! If you 2 are still madly enough in love with each other in 10 years that you have a party that is all about you saying "if we had to do it all over again, we would" then do it! Who would ever look down there nose at something like that? If they would then their opinion doesn't matter anyway because this is about YOU TWO. Not them. I think its a great thing to plan and dream about. Go for it, and if something gets in the way that year, do it the next!

Deena1967

I'm planning a vow renewal/anniversary party in August 2014. We got married August 2004 and we will be having a 10th anniversary party at a hotel ballroom, complete with the renewal ceremony, cocktail hour and sit down dinner.  I'm looking into DJs and Photographers now.  It's one of our favorite hotels and after the party we'll be staying there for the weekend.  We're inviting approx 75 guests and the room that adjoins the ballroom where the party will be is where we are going to renew or vows in a short, but sweet and symbolic ceremony.  Our first wedding was very small and although we are not doing a wedding do-over, it will still be a celebration of our love and 10 years of marriage.

Julie2013

(In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_vow-renewal-has-anyone-done-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:814d78f7-5b18-43ea-a405-7873e19d5cecPost:4f6695d9-7126-43ed-914f-5f79836ab185">Re: Vow Renewal - Has anyone done this</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess...rather than "what do you think", I mean has anyone here done this - had a vow renewal and if so what were your reasons for doing so? What did you do and where?
Posted by MelissaSavin[/QUOTE]

MelissaSavin, I know you said in a post after this one that you weren't planning to be on TK much longer, but I'm hoping you will get an alert through email. I'm planning a vow renewal and have met many on here who are, also. If you google it, you will find results that show you pictures, videos, and blogs of people who are doing it or have done it. And so what if it's about 10 years away? Are you enjoying thinking and planning? Have fun with it!

Blessings to you and yours,

Julie