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Moms and Maids

Should I keep offering to help?

I'm in a wedding for one of my best friends. MOH has been planning B-party, and I've offered to help several times. I'm long distance, so I understand there's not a lot I can do, but the bride is my best friend so I want to be involved in planning her send-off into married life.
Every time I talk to MOH about wanting to help, she says "okay, great, I'll let you know"....but is now just treating me like a guest to the B-party (sent out E-vites, didn't confer with me on anything that is going on for the day beforehand). I'm afraid she is just going to ask me to contribute monetarily without me having helped plan at all - which I probably would because I want the party to be perfect for her, but I'd be annoyed at the same time.
Should I continue to offer to help, to just let her do everything and see what happens? Party is in a few weeks.
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Re: Should I keep offering to help?

  • I'd just let it go. If she asks you to fund it without getting your input, just tell her no. This doesn't reflect in your friendship with the bride at all - its all on MOH for planning something she never intended to host.
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    OliveOilsMom
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    You have offered to help, that is about all you can do.

    That said, I would NOT be contributing to an event I had no involvement in planning.   By contributing I mean over and above what the other guests are paying.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    The MOH isn't going to take you up on any of your offers to help, so I'd stop offering to help. But if she tries to invoice you for it, feel free to turn her down. I wouldn't want to be expected to pay for an event I had no say in planning either.
  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I think it's nice that you're offering to help, but it sounds like the MOH has this thing set up and ready to go. 
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  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Jen4948 said:

    The MOH isn't going to take you up on any of your offers to help, so I'd stop offering to help. But if she tries to invoice you for it, feel free to turn her down. I wouldn't want to be expected to pay for an event I had no say in planning either.

    And feel free to say that - "I offered and would have been happy to help plan an event in our joint hosting budget, but I cannot help fund an event out of my budget and in which I had no say."

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    levioosafrenchiekin
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