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Moms and Maids

Bridesmaid Drama

So over the weekend, one of my bridesmaids(best friend) and myself got into a fight.  It has been built up anger for me as this bridesmaid has been very flaky.  Some background info: we were best friends throughout high school and after we graduated we stopped being friend due to her being a compulsive liar as well as a flake.  We reconnected about a year ago and got that closness back and for awhile everything was great.  However, as the time went on, she started her old habits again where she would make up lies about why she could not hang out or she would bail last minute.  A huge blow to our friendship was when we had planned a trip to Disneyland and she bailed the day before we were leaving telling me she could not get the days off (A DAY BEFORE?!?).  So I started to distance myself a little so that I would not get hurt every time she would bail on me.  She also bailed to coming to my bridal dress day because she needed some extra hours of sleep.

So over the weekend things finally came to a blow when I had to reschedule some plans that we had made together because I had some family things come up.  Well, according to her that was considered blowing her off and I all of a sudden became a horrible friend.  I began to tell her about the numerous times she had blown me off and that is when she began name calling and called me privileged, which hurt me because I have worked very hard to get to where I am today.  We have not spoken since this event and I have no idea where we stand in our friendship let alone my wedding.

I am not sure what to do or even ask. My other bridesmaids have told me to kick her to the curb and have told me that I should have negative people in my bridal party, but I know that it is not that simple. Are any of you dealing with this or have dealt with something like this with any of your bridesmaids?  Hopefully you can help me out.  
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Re: Bridesmaid Drama

  • csenden said:

    So over the weekend, one of my bridesmaids(best friend) and myself got into a fight.  It has been built up anger for me as this bridesmaid has been very flaky.  Some background info: we were best friends throughout high school and after we graduated we stopped being friend due to her being a compulsive liar as well as a flake.  We reconnected about a year ago and got that closness back and for awhile everything was great.  However, as the time went on, she started her old habits again where she would make up lies about why she could not hang out or she would bail last minute.  A huge blow to our friendship was when we had planned a trip to Disneyland and she bailed the day before we were leaving telling me she could not get the days off (A DAY BEFORE?!?).  So I started to distance myself a little so that I would not get hurt every time she would bail on me.  She also bailed to coming to my bridal dress day because she needed some extra hours of sleep.


    So over the weekend things finally came to a blow when I had to reschedule some plans that we had made together because I had some family things come up.  Well, according to her that was considered blowing her off and I all of a sudden became a horrible friend.  I began to tell her about the numerous times she had blown me off and that is when she began name calling and called me privileged, which hurt me because I have worked very hard to get to where I am today.  We have not spoken since this event and I have no idea where we stand in our friendship let alone my wedding.

    I am not sure what to do or even ask. My other bridesmaids have told me to kick her to the curb and have told me that I should have negative people in my bridal party, but I know that it is not that simple. Are any of you dealing with this or have dealt with something like this with any of your bridesmaids?  Hopefully you can help me out.  
    First off, how soon is your wedding? Generally speaking, you shouldn't be asking people to be BM until about 9 months out.

    I really don't see her doing anything wrong here. Being a flake is her personality according to you. All a BM has to do is show up sober(ish) and in the dress you picked out, based on the budget she gives you. Kicking someone out of your wedding party is a friendship ending move.

    Also, why did you ask her? You know her personality and she is not going to change just because you are getting married.
    [Deleted User]OliveOilsMomMesmrEwePrettyGirlLost
  • redoryxredoryx member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2015
    I have a friend like this, too. I adore and love her but she can be super flaky. I know that about her and while it can be annoying, I also know that it's a package deal. This is who she is. If I were to ask her to be a BM it wouldn't be fair of me to suddenly expect her personality to change just because someone wanted to marry me nor would it be fair for me to get mad at her for not changing.

    Your BMs are supposed to be your nearest and dearest and you are supposed to love and accept your nearest and dearest exactly as they are. That includes flaky personalities.
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    cupcait927Skippy0827
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    No one is going to change their behavior for your wedding.  It's just that simple.  If this friend was always flaky, she will continue to be flaky during the planning of your wedding.  No one will be as excited about your wedding as you and your FI are.

    Start with lowering your expectations for this BM.  If you have low expectations, it would be harder for her to disappoint you.

    If you truly want to end the friendship, outside of your wedding, then tell her that.  "Friend, I think that we have grown apart and are moving in different directions.  I'm sorry, but I just don't see this friendship going any further.  I wish you nothing but the best in the future."  Ending the friendship automatically ends her participation in your wedding.  I do think it was shitty of this friend to complain about you flaking out on plans with her, when she seems to routinely do it to you.

    PrettyGirlLostcupcait927
  • I wouldn't call my MOH flaky, but she has been the least helpful out of all of my bridesmaids and lets them organize everything because she keeps saying that she never has the time.  This has annoyed some of my other BMs, especially my FSIL, but things seem to go smoothly.  The reason that she is my MOH is because she knows me the best and we have been through some tough times together.  I never really expected anyone to stop their life and make my wedding a priority.  There are times where I have other priorities that are higher than wedding planning so I understand.  But, specifically for my MOH, I lowered any expectations and am completely content with how everything is going.

    At the end of the day, remember that no one will change or behave differently just because they are in your wedding party.  If you lower your expectations of people, trust me, you'll be less stressed and maybe people will even want to help you.  In my case, I'm doing a lot of the planning, writing addresses, etc. myself and don't expect anyone to help.  But I've had 1 or 2 BM's ask me if they could help me out, which I gladly accepted.  Just remember that things will be fine even if 1 person is flaky because they don't run the show, you and your fiance do.
    csenden
  • I have ended up engaged to a relative of a woman I have been friends with for 25 years. When I got engaged she was picking out my dress and colors and telling me what color she wanted to wear. I have 2 daughters that are my maid and matron of honor and a junior bridesmaid - THAT'S IT. She also drinks a lot and I didn't want the drunk bridesmaid thing going on. But I do love her... so I gave her the job of being in charge of the DIY reception decor... making sure the lights are plugged in, the candles are lit and helping hang tulle. I also have other friends who know her well and are willing to keep her busy if she over indulges at the reception. She is a lot like your friend... flaky, cancels plans, yells at me if I do something she thinks is out of line when she's already done it to me 10 times over. I knew from the get go I couldn't handle her being a bridesmaid. If she's too negative you need to cut her loose or let her be who she is and be part of the wedding and you have to chose to not stress about it because you'll end up spending all your time worrying about her and not enjoying the time leading up to your big day. Good luck. (On a side note at my 1st wedding when I was 20 I had a fight with your friend and as soon as she said "I'm not sure if I should be in your wedding" my reply was "Fine, you're not" and that was the end of it. Decision made.)
  • I have ended up engaged to a relative of a woman I have been friends with for 25 years. When I got engaged she was picking out my dress and colors and telling me what color she wanted to wear. I have 2 daughters that are my maid and matron of honor and a junior bridesmaid - THAT'S IT. She also drinks a lot and I didn't want the drunk bridesmaid thing going on. But I do love her... so I gave her the job of being in charge of the DIY reception decor... making sure the lights are plugged in, the candles are lit and helping hang tulle. I also have other friends who know her well and are willing to keep her busy if she over indulges at the reception. She is a lot like your friend... flaky, cancels plans, yells at me if I do something she thinks is out of line when she's already done it to me 10 times over. I knew from the get go I couldn't handle her being a bridesmaid. If she's too negative you need to cut her loose or let her be who she is and be part of the wedding and you have to chose to not stress about it because you'll end up spending all your time worrying about her and not enjoying the time leading up to your big day. Good luck. (On a side note at my 1st wedding when I was 20 I had a fight with your friend and as soon as she said "I'm not sure if I should be in your wedding" my reply was "Fine, you're not" and that was the end of it. Decision made.)



    Oh God. You gave her work to do and pretended it was an honor? And then gave her babysitters and pretended that you respect her?

    Re: the second bolded - just know that "cutting her loose" means actually ending the friendship, because that's what kicking someone out of your wedding party usually does.

    What she said.  Also, Junior Bridesmaid isn't a thing.  Everyone will know this person is younger, no need to bring attention to it in her title.  Just call her a bridesmaid.  Drop the junior.
    onefootinthebayou
  • I have ended up engaged to a relative of a woman I have been friends with for 25 years. When I got engaged she was picking out my dress and colors and telling me what color she wanted to wear. I have 2 daughters that are my maid and matron of honor and a junior bridesmaid - THAT'S IT. She also drinks a lot and I didn't want the drunk bridesmaid thing going on. But I do love her... so I gave her the job of being in charge of the DIY reception decor... making sure the lights are plugged in, the candles are lit and helping hang tulle. I also have other friends who know her well and are willing to keep her busy if she over indulges at the reception. She is a lot like your friend... flaky, cancels plans, yells at me if I do something she thinks is out of line when she's already done it to me 10 times over. I knew from the get go I couldn't handle her being a bridesmaid. If she's too negative you need to cut her loose or let her be who she is and be part of the wedding and you have to chose to not stress about it because you'll end up spending all your time worrying about her and not enjoying the time leading up to your big day. Good luck. (On a side note at my 1st wedding when I was 20 I had a fight with your friend and as soon as she said "I'm not sure if I should be in your wedding" my reply was "Fine, you're not" and that was the end of it. Decision made.)

    I am shocked that this happened.  
    PrettyGirlLostBlue_Bird
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I have a flaky lying "friend" as well. I invited her to the wedding but didn't ask her to be a BM.

    You can't kick anyone out without ending the friendship. What you can do is plan your life without her, notifiy her of the plans and then go abotu your day. If she shows up in the dress, awesome. If not, awesome.

    Life is too short to be hurt by assholes.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    csendenkatutsaswagandmoxiePrettyGirlLost
  • I would count her out! She doesn't sound like a very good friend. I tend to agree with your other friends, people who resort to name calling (especially as adults) and constantly backing out is not someone you need to have around. From what you've described, she only wants to be your friend when it's convenient for her and yet expects you to be available regardless of your own situation. With friends like that, who needs enemies?! 
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    csendenjulesndean
  • My friend who is related to my fiance is also a perfectionist who was thrilled with being in charge of the reception lights and candles. I KNOW she'll do a good job. It's something I actually can depend on her for. Someone has to do it for me. SHE considered it an honor and I'm grateful to have her for that. As a matter of fact she just asked me last night what I wanted to do for my "last night of freedom party"... so she isn't a bridesmaid but still feels involved and we BOTH WANTED THAT. As for her drinking that's a disease that she hasn't been able to get under control and that's not 100% her fault. Unfortunately it affects how she treats others. I get it cause I've been there but I'm on the other side of that now. And my other friends appointed themselves her babysitters... I didn't ask them to do that. I don't want to end my friendship with her and she was going to be at the wedding no matter what her involvement in it was. She's the person who introduced me to my future husband 25 years ago. As far as the friend from my first wedding... the fight was about her blaming me for telling her boyfriend I saw her at a concert and he beat her up. She didn't want to be in my bridal party if he was going to be abusing her because of it. Thankfully their relationship didn't last.
  • My friend who is related to my fiance is also a perfectionist who was thrilled with being in charge of the reception lights and candles. I KNOW she'll do a good job. It's something I actually can depend on her for. Someone has to do it for me. SHE considered it an honor and I'm grateful to have her for that. As a matter of fact she just asked me last night what I wanted to do for my "last night of freedom party"... so she isn't a bridesmaid but still feels involved and we BOTH WANTED THAT. As for her drinking that's a disease that she hasn't been able to get under control and that's not 100% her fault. Unfortunately it affects how she treats others. I get it cause I've been there but I'm on the other side of that now. And my other friends appointed themselves her babysitters... I didn't ask them to do that. I don't want to end my friendship with her and she was going to be at the wedding no matter what her involvement in it was. She's the person who introduced me to my future husband 25 years ago. As far as the friend from my first wedding... the fight was about her blaming me for telling her boyfriend I saw her at a concert and he beat her up. She didn't want to be in my bridal party if he was going to be abusing her because of it. Thankfully their relationship didn't last.

    1st bolded - That's why you hire people.

    2nd bolded - Wut?
    *********************************************************************************

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    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostspeakeasy14
  • She wants to do it, is thrilled to do it and I'm happy to have her do it. Everything except the food is going to be DIY. My other friends don't want her making a fool of herself or hurting herself if / when she drinks too much. Anyway this is not about me... I was just sharing my experience for csenden. Csenden if you want to keep your friend in your wedding, try not to let her behavior stress you. If it isn't worth it then cut ties with her. 
  • My friend who is related to my fiance is also a perfectionist who was thrilled with being in charge of the reception lights and candles. I KNOW she'll do a good job. It's something I actually can depend on her for. Someone has to do it for me. SHE considered it an honor and I'm grateful to have her for that. As a matter of fact she just asked me last night what I wanted to do for my "last night of freedom party"... so she isn't a bridesmaid but still feels involved and we BOTH WANTED THAT. As for her drinking that's a disease that she hasn't been able to get under control and that's not 100% her fault. Unfortunately it affects how she treats others. I get it cause I've been there but I'm on the other side of that now. And my other friends appointed themselves her babysitters... I didn't ask them to do that. I don't want to end my friendship with her and she was going to be at the wedding no matter what her involvement in it was. She's the person who introduced me to my future husband 25 years ago. As far as the friend from my first wedding... the fight was about her blaming me for telling her boyfriend I saw her at a concert and he beat her up. She didn't want to be in my bridal party if he was going to be abusing her because of it. Thankfully their relationship didn't last.

    1st bolded - That's why you hire people.

    2nd bolded - Wut?
    My mom thought it was an honor when my cousin asked her to be her Personal Assistant on her wedding day.  She quickly learned that it was no honor when this 22 year old bride demanded my 62 year old mother get her water during photos.  When my mother turned around to walk to where the water was, Speshul Snowflake bride asked, "Can you run?"  My mother rolled her eyes and continued her walk.  Mom soon passed on her duties to her understudy, SS Bride's friend who was the Assistant Personal Assistant, and mom decided to enjoy the wedding without a job.
  • adk19 said:

    My friend who is related to my fiance is also a perfectionist who was thrilled with being in charge of the reception lights and candles. I KNOW she'll do a good job. It's something I actually can depend on her for. Someone has to do it for me. SHE considered it an honor and I'm grateful to have her for that. As a matter of fact she just asked me last night what I wanted to do for my "last night of freedom party"... so she isn't a bridesmaid but still feels involved and we BOTH WANTED THAT. As for her drinking that's a disease that she hasn't been able to get under control and that's not 100% her fault. Unfortunately it affects how she treats others. I get it cause I've been there but I'm on the other side of that now. And my other friends appointed themselves her babysitters... I didn't ask them to do that. I don't want to end my friendship with her and she was going to be at the wedding no matter what her involvement in it was. She's the person who introduced me to my future husband 25 years ago. As far as the friend from my first wedding... the fight was about her blaming me for telling her boyfriend I saw her at a concert and he beat her up. She didn't want to be in my bridal party if he was going to be abusing her because of it. Thankfully their relationship didn't last.

    1st bolded - That's why you hire people.

    2nd bolded - Wut?
    My mom thought it was an honor when my cousin asked her to be her Personal Assistant on her wedding day.  She quickly learned that it was no honor when this 22 year old bride demanded my 62 year old mother get her water during photos.  When my mother turned around to walk to where the water was, Speshul Snowflake bride asked, "Can you run?"  My mother rolled her eyes and continued her walk.  Mom soon passed on her duties to her understudy, SS Bride's friend who was the Assistant Personal Assistant, and mom decided to enjoy the wedding without a job.
    That is HORRIBLE!  My jaw is on the floor.  Your poor mom!  This is a perfect example of why these boards exist.  Lurkers, PLEASE don't give out jobs to people as "honors" or consolation prizes.  It is the responsibility of you and your fiance to fully plan and host your reception.  If you cannot do so, you must hire people to do so.  Soliciting help from friends and loved ones is frowned upon.  If they offer, great, but please don't assume people must do these things for you!  That is what vendors are for. 
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostsarawifenowspeakeasy14
  • I'm not making her do anything. I told her it would mean A LOT to me for her to help me out... and it will. My 2 daughter's and my 12 year old grandson are in my wedding party. Why would I partner him up with a woman over 50 in a bridal party. Taking charge of the reception decor doesn't mean she's "not good enough" to be a bridesmaid. It was a more appropriate request that i asked of her and a lot of responsibility. We asked my fiances cousin to be our DJ, a friend to be our officiant, a friend to do our cake, my cousin to do our photography. And yes we're paying them. These are people we know who do these things in their everyday lives. Yes my friend owns a bakery, his cousin is a DJ. We want this to be a celebration for all of our family and friends and have family and friends make the day even more special for us. Why would I put someone in a bridesmaid role just because she expected that when I got engaged? What she's doing to help me means more than that. Oh well I'm glad everyone we approached seems very happy and excited about the upcoming day including my non-bridesmaid friend. 
  • I really don't think "please make sure the twinkle lights are plugged in and the candles are lit" is an out of line request. She gave herself the title of reception manager. And I actually have done everything else myself for the wedding, from making the bouquets to designing the center pieces and gathering all the other decor we need.
  • I'm not making her do anything. I told her it would mean A LOT to me for her to help me out... and it will. My 2 daughter's and my 12 year old grandson are in my wedding party. Why would I partner him up with a woman over 50 in a bridal party. Taking charge of the reception decor doesn't mean she's "not good enough" to be a bridesmaid. It was a more appropriate request that i asked of her and a lot of responsibility. We asked my fiances cousin to be our DJ, a friend to be our officiant, a friend to do our cake, my cousin to do our photography. And yes we're paying them. These are people we know who do these things in their everyday lives. Yes my friend owns a bakery, his cousin is a DJ. We want this to be a celebration for all of our family and friends and have family and friends make the day even more special for us. Why would I put someone in a bridesmaid role just because she expected that when I got engaged? What she's doing to help me means more than that. Oh well I'm glad everyone we approached seems very happy and excited about the upcoming day including my non-bridesmaid friend. 

    No one said you were making anyone do anything.  We were just pointing out that it's not correct to ask people to help unless they have already offered.  Yes, paying people to work to set up and work at your reception is of course acceptable but at the end of the day, the responsibility of a throwing a reception falls squarely on the couple getting married and no one else.  It's nice when people offer to help, but it's not etiquette approved to solicit their help.  
  • DIY means DO IT YOUR DAMN SELF, not make your friends who weren't good enough to be bridesmaids do it.

    Seems to me that statement above says I was making her do it.

    I'm not the bossy type but of the multiple things I've read to make your day go smoother many of them suggest asking a trusted friend to help tend to things while the bridal couple are getting ready or having photos done. That doesn't mean demanding someone RUN to get you water. I can tell you at a friend's wedding when my boyfriend was the best man, the groom was not too pleased when the best man was dealing with why the limo no-showed when he was suppose to be giving his toast. 
  • My apologies Csenden. I didn't mean to take over your post. 
  • I think at this point like one PP, wedding aside, where do you want to see this friendship going? Is there a point to reaching out to her to extend an olive branch and talk things out. If she wasn't a BM in your wedding, what would you be doing about this friendship. Would you give her another chance or cut ties? If you decide to work out the friendship, you know from past experience that she may change temporary but eventually will go back to her old ways. How do you feel about that? Right now it's not a matter of having her as a BM or not, it's about having her as a friend at all or not. If you decide that you've had enough of her behavior and don't want to continue this friendship, then end it now & don't drag it out because of your wedding. If she's already bought her dress, reimburse her for the cost, but insist then she give you the dress, you may be able to sell it on e-bay to recoup some of the costs. But if she hasn't bought the dress yet, you need to reach out to her and just be honest with her that you've given some thought & you don't wish to be friends with her or for her to be a BM anymore for you either so that she doesn't spend the money on the dress or shoes. Good luck & hope things work out for you either way.
    csenden
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its

    I'm not making her do anything. I told her it would mean A LOT to me for her to help me out... and it will. My 2 daughter's and my 12 year old grandson are in my wedding party. Why would I partner him up with a woman over 50 in a bridal party. Taking charge of the reception decor doesn't mean she's "not good enough" to be a bridesmaid. It was a more appropriate request that i asked of her and a lot of responsibility. We asked my fiances cousin to be our DJ, a friend to be our officiant, a friend to do our cake, my cousin to do our photography. And yes we're paying them. These are people we know who do these things in their everyday lives. Yes my friend owns a bakery, his cousin is a DJ. We want this to be a celebration for all of our family and friends and have family and friends make the day even more special for us. Why would I put someone in a bridesmaid role just because she expected that when I got engaged? What she's doing to help me means more than that. Oh well I'm glad everyone we approached seems very happy and excited about the upcoming day including my non-bridesmaid friend. 

    To the bolded - As if! Please tell your daughters that being bridesmaids is less meaningful than someone plugging in twinkle lights. See how well that goes over.

    Keep back paddling to try and justify your actions, that's classy. Ya know, instead of acting your age and saying "you're right I shouldn't have asked my loved ones to work on my wedding day, I should have just let them be guests. The ones I didn't hire as vendors I will go back and apologize and tell them I value them and just want them to be honored guests - not do my grunt work."

    PS - a 12 escorting a 50 year old woman down the aisle would be the most adorable thing ever.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    [Deleted User]
  •  It's fine if people help you set up the venue. However, they need to offerthemselves, not have it be asked of them. It's not anywhere close to their responsibility, and it certainly isn't an honor. You also need to be there participating in the setup, because it is your responsibility. Do your hair and makeup earlier if you have to - I'm envisioning that you're being pampered as the bride while your friend(s) do all your grunt work for you. That's not okay.

    Your vision is as far off mark as you can go. My friends and daughters are constantly saying "Let me know what I can do to help." they all know we're doing everything ourselves.....  Going to try do do most of the decor the night before, yes ME, my fiance and whoever wants to help including my friend... who does. Ceremony is being held in reception area so since I will be waiting to enter (my fiance does not want to see me before the wedding) I asked her to  "please make sure the twinkle lights are plugged in and the candles are lit". It would be ridiculous to light candles at 10am for a 2pm wedding.  I am DOING MY OWN hair and makeup. I can't afford to sit around and be pampered. If I could then why wouldn't I hire somebody to do everything else?
    (I just did my daughter's hair for her wedding last week.) The only thing I can't actually do is lace up the back of my own dress. 
  • Keep back paddling to try and justify your actions,

    I have no apologies to make to ANYONE. EVERYONE who is coming together for this is so happy and excited. They ALL said to me "I'm so honored you asked me" ... And the others DID offer like our DJ. The only person I went and outright ASKED to do something out of the blue was our officiant -- who I paid for to get ordained because I'm not cool with asking people to do things FOR ME that cost them money. I'm sure him and his wife just won't be able to enjoy the reception from the head table after he's done his grunt work. Wow. I PAID for the 3 attendants dresses. And unfortunately the truth of the matter is my friend drinks. If she's worried about the reception decor she wont drink until she is enjoying herself at the party. If she's sitting around in a bridesmaid dress having a few before we walk down ....

    PS - a 12 escorting a 50 year old woman down the aisle would be the most adorable thing ever.    

    NOT IF SHE"S DRUNK! 
    Life's not perfect..... my friend is so happy to be doing something so important for me. My daughter's are so happy she's happy and I'm happy. I'm really sorry that everyone here misunderstands but none of you know me so misunderstandings will easily happen. I'll make sure I apologize to every single one of my friends and family for MAKING them do grunt work for me.  

    julesndean
  • Keep back paddling to try and justify your actions,


    I have no apologies to make to ANYONE. EVERYONE who is coming together for this is so happy and excited. They ALL said to me "I'm so honored you asked me" ... And the others DID offer like our DJ. The only person I went and outright ASKED to do something out of the blue was our officiant -- who I paid for to get ordained because I'm not cool with asking people to do things FOR ME that cost them money. I'm sure him and his wife just won't be able to enjoy the reception from the head table after he's done his grunt work. Wow. I PAID for the 3 attendants dresses. And unfortunately the truth of the matter is my friend drinks. If she's worried about the reception decor she wont drink until she is enjoying herself at the party. If she's sitting around in a bridesmaid dress having a few before we walk down ....

    PS - a 12 escorting a 50 year old woman down the aisle would be the most adorable thing ever.    

    NOT IF SHE"S DRUNK! 
    Life's not perfect..... my friend is so happy to be doing something so important for me. My daughter's are so happy she's happy and I'm happy. I'm really sorry that everyone here misunderstands but none of you know me so misunderstandings will easily happen. I'll make sure I apologize to every single one of my friends and family for MAKING them do grunt work for me.  

    image
    ashley8918
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    I really don't think "please make sure the twinkle lights are plugged in and the candles are lit" is an out of line request. She gave herself the title of reception manager. And I actually have done everything else myself for the wedding, from making the bouquets to designing the center pieces and gathering all the other decor we need.



    YOU SHOULD NOT BE MAKING REQUESTS OF PEOPLE UNLESS THEY ARE HIRED HELP. PERIOD.

    Caps lock because you don't seem to be getting it. You don't get to ask ANYTHING of ANYONE, no matter how small the request, unless they offer first, because it is RUDE.

    This is like, elementary How to Treat People 101. These people are GUESTS at your wedding. You are not the queen who can do whatever you want. It's called being a gracious host.

    Formerly martha1818

    image


    ashley8918
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