Registry and Gift Forum

Giving a gift for older, second-marriage couple

Hi Everyone! 

I am attending my aunt's wedding this summer. It is her second marriage, as well as her fiance's. 

They are both in their 50's, are at least fairly well-off, have good jobs, and are merging two homes, and I am 20's. I don't think it is appropriate to give them a cash gift for their wedding. My issue is not with spending money, as I am happy to be as generous to them as I am to weddings that I go to of my friends and other family members. 

Would you all agree that it would be a bit inappropriate for me to write them a check? In lieu of that, I have considered buying them theater tickets, or something to that effect. I would appreciate any suggestions! 

Thanks! 

Re: Giving a gift for older, second-marriage couple

  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Hi Everyone! 


    I am attending my aunt's wedding this summer. It is her second marriage, as well as her fiance's. 

    They are both in their 50's, are at least fairly well-off, have good jobs, and are merging two homes, and I am 20's. I don't think it is appropriate to give them a cash gift for their wedding. My issue is not with spending money, as I am happy to be as generous to them as I am to weddings that I go to of my friends and other family members. 

    Would you all agree that it would be a bit inappropriate for me to write them a check? In lieu of that, I have considered buying them theater tickets, or something to that effect. I would appreciate any suggestions! 

    Thanks! 
    I agree cash would be fairly strange in that situation. I would do something you think they will like together: theatre tickets, restaurant meal, nice bottle of wine, sports game tickets. Just make sure that you know they are free before you buy the tickets for a specific event.
  • I felt the same way about giving a wedding gift to my cousin.  He's loaded.  It would have been weird for me to write him a check.  I got stuff off their registry because they were both coming from roommate situations where they each only had some and mismatched stuff.  In your case I like the idea for tickets to something.  Or you can do something like a backpack picnic basket for concerts in the park or whatnot.  Or a basket of wine and fancy cheese.
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited May 2015
    Inappropriate? Not necessarily. But I agree I would be uncomfortable giving money in that situation, and lean toward more experiential types of gifts.

    image
    image
  • I see what you mean about giving cash, but I don't think it's "inappropriate". 

    I like @LondonLisa's suggestion of "experience" type gifts. If you don't know their schedule/when they'll be free, a certificate for a hot air balloon ride, a wine tasting package, a couple's massage, or a sort of use-any-time gift card would be nice. 

    If they're foodie type people, a gift basket of gourmet consumables might be nice too - think wine, nice cheeses, crackers, a cheese board/knife, chocolate truffles, herbed olive oil, nuts, candies, you get the idea..
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    [Deleted User]
  • I don't think cash would be inappropriate at all- all a gift card is really is cash with strings though so if you aren't into cash I'd lean towards a physical gift instead of an experience gift certificate.
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I'm not a fan of tickets bc it has a specific date attached to It, and they might not be able to go that date.

    I'd buy a physical gift - my go to it's Waterford Crystal, especially a wedding bowl- or a check.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    If I am not comfortable giving cash and the couple is not registered I usually go the 'date night' route. I'll grab a gift card for a fancy restaurant in an amount that would cover entree, dessert and drinks and then another gift card to a movie theatre/spa/etc.

    It is still technically giving them cash, but it's encouraging them to get out and have a night to themselves that they may not be willing to spend money on, especialyl after paying for a wedding.
    image
  • Thanks everyone! 

    If I were to buy tickets for something, it would be a general purchase, like for Ticketmaster.com or Broadway.com, and then they're not even limited to my show/game/concert selection. 

    We also have Sur La Table in our area, so I'm also thinking about getting them a gift card there, and they can use it to upgrade their kitchen ware, or take a cooking/baking class together if they prefer. 

    [Deleted User]
  • Denise40Denise40 Montgomery County, Tx member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm an older bride and 2nd marriage coming up and there's nothing wrong with giving cash or a check. They might want the cash for a specific item. Just because they are older and well off, shouldn't dictate what you give as long as it's from the heart.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Denise40 said:
    I'm an older bride and 2nd marriage coming up and there's nothing wrong with giving cash or a check. They might want the cash for a specific item. Just because they are older and well off, shouldn't dictate what you give as long as it's from the heart.
    I would say it's more that it's an aunt-niece relationship that is making me feel that it is inappropriate. If it were a co-worker or family friend in the same situation, I might not feel so odd about giving cash or a check, but for someone who has given me birthday/holiday monetary gifts since my birth, something about it just doesn't feel right. 
  • Denise40Denise40 Montgomery County, Tx member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    I understand now. That makes sense.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards