Bye

ShesSoCold

My best friend gave me the world's worst BJ advice. Shit like "lick it gently and don't put it all the way in your mouth". I felt bad for her partners when I learned what I was doing. 

hellosweetie1015

princessleia22 said:

hellosweetie1015 said:

lolo883 said:

I am DYING at some of these stories.

When I first heard people talking about "oral sex," I was smart enough to know that oral = mouth but naive enough not to think you actually PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH. So I thought oral sex = talking, like phone sex/general dirty talk. I, uh, prefer not to reveal how old I was when I realized that was NOT accurate.

I'll tell how old I was.

I was fucking 20 years old when I realized oral sex was not phone sex. The Google told me what it was.

Hey, I had to explain oral sex to my +/- 50 year old mother.  Learning it when you are 20 isn't so bad.

I ... could not have explained it to my mother. So props for that, haha!

VulgarGirl

ShesSoCold said:

My best friend gave me the world's worst BJ advice. Shit like "lick it gently and don't put it all the way in your mouth". I felt bad for her partners when I learned what I was doing. 

Wow...I can give a better blow job than that....

And I don't do that.

kns1988

My family is so female-centric and feminist that we got cakes to celebrate getting periods. As in, you got your period for the first time? Here's an icecream cake and balloons! It's a funny memory.

But yeah, sex ed at our school was lackluster. I got it mostly from home. I wish consent would have been talked about more at school because not knowing about the gray areas and then having those gray areas happen to me led to some very fucked up emotions.

jdluvr06

I've talked about this before but my mom... Well both my parents until my dad died, were really awesome about sex ed. My mom had an age appropriate discussion with my sister and I every year from the time we were around 4 or 5. She answered any and all questions we had and she never lied to us and she never acted like the talks were awkward. This didn't just help educate my sister and I but it helped make us closer to my mom. When you can go to your parents with the most off the wall sex questions then you will feel comfortable going to them for anything. There is seriously nothing I don't feel comfortable talking to my mom about.

When I was in high school I was constantly correcting my friends and other classmates because they were clueless. Our sex ed class was pretty much this is where babies come from, here are some diseases you can get, and that was about it. It was ridiculous. 

I hate the they should learn it at home argument because how many parents really have open discussions about sex with their kids? From what I've seen not many. They should learn it at home but until society in general stops being so awkward and scared of sex then it isn't going to happen and it would be bette to learn it at school then no where. I also don't think schools should give opt outs to parents when they teach what little they do teach. The kids whose parents choose the opt out are probably the ones who need it the most.

Heffalump

dolewhipper said:

OH! Forgot to mention. My friend is 6 months pregnant. I taught her, maybe last month, what and where her labia is. She went to public school. She is 27.

Not that your friend did this, but it reminded me:  it is a pet peeve of mine when people say "vagina" when they actually mean "labia."  We were in the locker room before DD's swim practice last week when one of the moms said "Sophie, cover your vagina."  It took all I had not to say "Chances are, it's already pretty well covered."

(Also, that's a weird way to tell someone to put on their underwear or swimsuit bottom or whatever, but I'm assuming that's what she meant, given the context and the fact that the kid was wearing a shirt and nothing else.)

"Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina" kills me, because a) they both have a lot more than that, and b) even if you want to focus on the most visible exterior body part for simplicity, the vagina ain't it.

loveislouder

kns1988 said:

My family is so female-centric and feminist that we got cakes to celebrate getting periods. As in, you got your period for the first time? Here's an icecream cake and balloons! It's a funny memory.

But yeah, sex ed at our school was lackluster. I got it mostly from home. I wish consent would have been talked about more at school because not knowing about the gray areas and then having those gray areas happen to me led to some very fucked up emotions.

My ex's neice got a weekend long party - everything was red (food, decorations, etc.) and we played pin the period on the pad. Awks.

[Deleted User]

.

KatieinBkln

Heffalump said:

dolewhipper said:

OH! Forgot to mention. My friend is 6 months pregnant. I taught her, maybe last month, what and where her labia is. She went to public school. She is 27.

Not that your friend did this, but it reminded me:  it is a pet peeve of mine when people say "vagina" when they actually mean "labia."  We were in the locker room before DD's swim practice last week when one of the moms said "Sophie, cover your vagina."  It took all I had not to say "Chances are, it's already pretty well covered."

(Also, that's a weird way to tell someone to put on their underwear or swimsuit bottom or whatever, but I'm assuming that's what she meant, given the context and the fact that the kid was wearing a shirt and nothing else.)

"Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina" kills me, because a) they both have a lot more than that, and b) even if you want to focus on the most visible exterior body part for simplicity, the vagina ain't it.

My feminist-centered women's biology class in college had a TA who insisted that since it is the clitoris that is analogous to the penis, we should say "boys have a penis, girls have a clitoris."

I think my entire small-town PTA would have had a collective stroke had that ever been spoken...

VulgarGirl

pinkrevenge said:

lolo883 said:

mikenberger said:

My school's sex ed was very basic. 

My dad's sex ed when I first got my period "So you can be a Mom. Do you want to be a Mom? I didn't fucking think so. If you get a boyfriend and you want to have sex with him (he believed I knew what sex was?), there are condoms in the top drawer of my dresser. Do not let some asshole have sex with you without one. Yeah, they feel like shit, but you won't get pregnant and you won't catch some disease all because some dickhead needed to get some. And if you're not sure about sex, don't have it. It's that fucking simple. I'm too young to be a Grandpa. And when you do have sex, keep one foot on the ground. It doesn't count if you've got one foot heading towards the door." He is a crude man. But by God, I never got pregnant and when I caught chlamydia at 18 and he found out "What'd I tell you about condoms? Good for you it's something curable. Don't do that again." And gave me a box of condoms. Never had another STD lol (And little did I know that my Dad employed that "It doesn't count if you have one foot on the floor" methodology more than once. Hence my parents divorce.) He also kept Penthouses and Hustlers in plain view that I snuck a peek at every so often. And it always creeped me out when the labias and whatnot were pulled to give the full view. "So that's what it looks like? Bologna? Ew."

My Mom... oh dear. You would've thought we were hatched and she'd never had sex before.

We may have the same mother.

Are we all sisters? The things my mom "doesn't understand" makes me very sad for her as an adult woman.

See when your mom got knocked up because she was drunk at 19 and she is terrified of you become the next in the line of teen mothers in the family, you get some pretty good sex ed out of the deal. 

Also when you come out later there's a whole "thank god you won't get knocked up" celebration.

theartistformerlyknownas

Heffalump said:

dolewhipper said:

OH! Forgot to mention. My friend is 6 months pregnant. I taught her, maybe last month, what and where her labia is. She went to public school. She is 27.

Not that your friend did this, but it reminded me:  it is a pet peeve of mine when people say "vagina" when they actually mean "labia."  We were in the locker room before DD's swim practice last week when one of the moms said "Sophie, cover your vagina."  It took all I had not to say "Chances are, it's already pretty well covered."

(Also, that's a weird way to tell someone to put on their underwear or swimsuit bottom or whatever, but I'm assuming that's what she meant, given the context and the fact that the kid was wearing a shirt and nothing else.)

"Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina" kills me, because a) they both have a lot more than that, and b) even if you want to focus on the most visible exterior body part for simplicity, the vagina ain't it.

On the flip side, the only word my mom taught us for that general region was labia, perhaps to the "most visible/simplistic" point. Buuuuut that got embarrassing when I was older.

blabla89

Neither of my parents talked about sex. Mom gave me a book when I got my period. High school health class wasn't helpful either...I think the extent of what we learned was that there was this thing called a condom and you could buy it at Walgreens.

The mandatory freshman health class at college was a little more informative. A guy who was talking in class was made to stand at the front of the room, blow up a condom like a balloon, and rub it with vaseline until it popped to demonstrate why vaseline isn't a good lubricant. The TA told us tons of crazy stories about working at Planned Parenthood. Admittedly I skipped health class to go to the pool more often than I should have.

Like @kns1988, I wish consent had been talked about. And while seeing it being discussed on college campuses is good, I think issues of consent and self-ownership need to be taught much earlier.

ETA spelling

redoryx

Oh goddess, I had totally forgotten about this but when I was in high-school I spent an absurd amount of time in AOL chat rooms that were not appropriate for a girl my age. I mean, I was into hardcore cyber sexing with complete strangers. 

But I had no idea whatsoever what "giving head" meant for the longest time but I would play it off totally cool that I did and of course it was something I did on a regular basis. Lulz. 

[Deleted User]

.

VulgarGirl

pinkrevenge said:

MagicInk said:

pinkrevenge said:

lolo883 said:

mikenberger said:

My school's sex ed was very basic. 

My dad's sex ed when I first got my period "So you can be a Mom. Do you want to be a Mom? I didn't fucking think so. If you get a boyfriend and you want to have sex with him (he believed I knew what sex was?), there are condoms in the top drawer of my dresser. Do not let some asshole have sex with you without one. Yeah, they feel like shit, but you won't get pregnant and you won't catch some disease all because some dickhead needed to get some. And if you're not sure about sex, don't have it. It's that fucking simple. I'm too young to be a Grandpa. And when you do have sex, keep one foot on the ground. It doesn't count if you've got one foot heading towards the door." He is a crude man. But by God, I never got pregnant and when I caught chlamydia at 18 and he found out "What'd I tell you about condoms? Good for you it's something curable. Don't do that again." And gave me a box of condoms. Never had another STD lol (And little did I know that my Dad employed that "It doesn't count if you have one foot on the floor" methodology more than once. Hence my parents divorce.) He also kept Penthouses and Hustlers in plain view that I snuck a peek at every so often. And it always creeped me out when the labias and whatnot were pulled to give the full view. "So that's what it looks like? Bologna? Ew."

My Mom... oh dear. You would've thought we were hatched and she'd never had sex before.

We may have the same mother.

Are we all sisters? The things my mom "doesn't understand" makes me very sad for her as an adult woman.

See when your mom got knocked up because she was drunk at 19 and she is terrified of you become the next in the line of teen mothers in the family, you get some pretty good sex ed out of the deal. 

Also when you come out later there's a whole "thank god you won't get knocked up" celebration.

My mom was actually awesome about biology. When I got the talk at school, I was grilled about every little bit of it, and corrected, and then I got two more talks to make sure every little base was covered. When I didn't want to hear it she tricked me by taking me out for a mother-daughter chinese restaurant date and then I had nowhere to run while she told me all about pregnancy and how penises got erect and such. She got into birth and motherhood and all of that. My mother was once a birthing coach for a friend, and she was great about that. If I needed birth control, had questions, needed an abortion, whatever, I was to come to her.

But my mom does not "understand" sex toys, masturbation, swings, wedges, and more than half the stuff that makes it feel good. She came from a family that told her her genitals were called a "naughty" because that's what you were when you let someone touch them. She had hang-ups for a long time. So it's not her fault, but it makes me very sad that the same woman who is so sex-positive when it comes to reproduction isn't in tuned to the pleasure aspect, not really.
Though we once had a very funny conversation talking about our trials with lubes when I was 23.

Oh...I've gotten the pleasure of having the "so how exactly does one use a strap on" talk with my mom. Thank god vodka was involved. I'm pretty open and honest about sex and can usually handle the sex toy talk in a frank and honest way. But think about your mom strapping on a dildo and fucking your stepmom...well vodka helps you handle that. 

My mom discovered her love of women after I came out so somehow I became like her...gay yoda. It's a little weird...but I did buy her serveral flavored lubes for her wedding present.

allispain

My mom gave me a book when I was a kid (elementary school aged) explaining all about body parts - it included illustrations of both men and women at all different ages, plus a detailed description of what happens a) in order to get pregnant and b) once a woman is pregnant. I was pretty weirded out when she gave it me (thanks, mom, that was an uncomfortable moment), but it was very useful to me in the long run.

I'm pretty sure we had some kind of sex ed in middle school health. I don't really remember clearly - but I'm pretty sure condoms were mentioned.

I will add to the list of things that I didn't know about. Oral sex was definitely one of them. I had to once ask a friend when I was about 15 what the bases meant - first, second, third, home. She said that third was oral, and I didn't know what that meant. She gave me very fuzzy details - I didn't realize it could go both ways until college.

I have to say, I'm pretty horrified by the number of people/schools/municipalities/etc. that believe that abstinence only education is productive. We had a girl in my small, rural school district who got pregnant at age 13. We had another who had two children by the time she was 18. And that was with some basic sex ed. I can only imagine what could have happened without it.

ShesSoCold

The suburb I grew up in is kind of shitty compared to the towns around it and in the same conference (is that even the right word?) for high schools. So we always had a bad reputation. I remember that the only thing we ever won was "most pregnancies". There were 36 pregnancies in my high school the year I graduated. And I recall a handful in middle school. 

TrixieJess

http://www.amazon.com/The-Facts-Life-Revised-Edition/dp/0670865532

We had the above book too. I brought it to elementary school one day...that was a trip to the principal's office...I had my own chair.

afox007

TrixieJess said:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Facts-Life-Revised-Edition/dp/0670865532

We had the above book too. I brought it to elementary school one day...that was a trip to the principal's office...I had my own chair.

My mom had a book on female orgasms that my dad accidentally put in the living room bookshelf. I ran out of books to read and thought it was about female organisms which scounded cool. I was very confused when my 5th grade teacher took it during silent reading. 

falsara

My sex -ed at home was super in-depth.  Mom was always an open book and made sure that we were ok with asking her questions.  In fact once I told her that I had sex, she was all about asking if I had questions and then joking with me about details and such.  It was awkward, but I always knew I could ask her questions.  She even talked to me about vibrators at one point.  

My dad, would rather never know that I had sex.  He doesn't wan to hear about jokes or anything.  I'm sure he's aware, he just doesn't like to think about it.  

princessleia22

pinkrevenge said:

lolo883 said:

mikenberger said:

My school's sex ed was very basic. 

My dad's sex ed when I first got my period "So you can be a Mom. Do you want to be a Mom? I didn't fucking think so. If you get a boyfriend and you want to have sex with him (he believed I knew what sex was?), there are condoms in the top drawer of my dresser. Do not let some asshole have sex with you without one. Yeah, they feel like shit, but you won't get pregnant and you won't catch some disease all because some dickhead needed to get some. And if you're not sure about sex, don't have it. It's that fucking simple. I'm too young to be a Grandpa. And when you do have sex, keep one foot on the ground. It doesn't count if you've got one foot heading towards the door." He is a crude man. But by God, I never got pregnant and when I caught chlamydia at 18 and he found out "What'd I tell you about condoms? Good for you it's something curable. Don't do that again." And gave me a box of condoms. Never had another STD lol (And little did I know that my Dad employed that "It doesn't count if you have one foot on the floor" methodology more than once. Hence my parents divorce.) He also kept Penthouses and Hustlers in plain view that I snuck a peek at every so often. And it always creeped me out when the labias and whatnot were pulled to give the full view. "So that's what it looks like? Bologna? Ew."

My Mom... oh dear. You would've thought we were hatched and she'd never had sex before.

We may have the same mother.

Are we all sisters? The things my mom "doesn't understand" makes me very sad for her as an adult woman.

Many of our moms were raised in a generation where sex ed didn't exist at all and it was just something you didn't ever talk about and figured out on your own.  Sadly, many of our moms never figured it out.  Besides having to very uncomfortably teach my mom about oral sex and condoms, my sister once bought her a book on sex positions and has taken her to sex toy parties.  She also got herself a subscription to Cosmo.  So, she's a little late in learning, but her daughters have helped her out a bit. I would rather not imagine what she does with that new found knowledge, but her and my dad have been married for nearly 50 years... and do seem even happier and more in love than they used to be.

ashley8918

ShesSoCold said:

KatWAG said:

ShesSoCold said:

I took a class my senior year of high school where we got the fake baby. It was "Contemporary Life". First quarter, we planned weddings and talked about relationships. Second quarter, we talked about babies, jobs, taxes and divorce. We got the fake baby for three days. The last day of class we went to the courthouse and sat in on divorce hearings. I loved that class. It was so easy. 

My sexed experience was much like @katwag's. I'm in IL also. I think in fourth grade they separated the boys and girls and talked to us about periods. Then again in fifth. In sixth we went to some education place and dicked around all day when we were supposed to be learning about sex. My freshman year health class was also taught by a football coach and he was not comfortable. Even he looked away when we watched the birth video. 

@shessocold did you go to Robert Crown for your sex ed? That is where I went. The boys were told not to tease girls about getting their periods and girls were told how to use a pad. That was pretty much it. 

Yess! That's basically what I remember about it too. And I feel like I recall a giant uterus playground type thing that you could crawl through. Maybe it was a heart. And then we went again to learn about the horrors of alcohol and drugs. 

OMG YES! I went there too!

jenna8984

princessleia22 said:

pinkrevenge said:

lolo883 said:

mikenberger said:

My school's sex ed was very basic. 

My dad's sex ed when I first got my period "So you can be a Mom. Do you want to be a Mom? I didn't fucking think so. If you get a boyfriend and you want to have sex with him (he believed I knew what sex was?), there are condoms in the top drawer of my dresser. Do not let some asshole have sex with you without one. Yeah, they feel like shit, but you won't get pregnant and you won't catch some disease all because some dickhead needed to get some. And if you're not sure about sex, don't have it. It's that fucking simple. I'm too young to be a Grandpa. And when you do have sex, keep one foot on the ground. It doesn't count if you've got one foot heading towards the door." He is a crude man. But by God, I never got pregnant and when I caught chlamydia at 18 and he found out "What'd I tell you about condoms? Good for you it's something curable. Don't do that again." And gave me a box of condoms. Never had another STD lol (And little did I know that my Dad employed that "It doesn't count if you have one foot on the floor" methodology more than once. Hence my parents divorce.) He also kept Penthouses and Hustlers in plain view that I snuck a peek at every so often. And it always creeped me out when the labias and whatnot were pulled to give the full view. "So that's what it looks like? Bologna? Ew."

My Mom... oh dear. You would've thought we were hatched and she'd never had sex before.

We may have the same mother.

Are we all sisters? The things my mom "doesn't understand" makes me very sad for her as an adult woman.

Many of our moms were raised in a generation where sex ed didn't exist at all and it was just something you didn't ever talk about and figured out on your own.  Sadly, many of our moms never figured it out.  Besides having to very uncomfortably teach my mom about oral sex and condoms, my sister once bought her a book on sex positions and has taken her to sex toy parties.  She also got herself a subscription to Cosmo.  So, she's a little late in learning, but her daughters have helped her out a bit. I would rather not imagine what she does with that new found knowledge, but her and my dad have been married for nearly 50 years... and do seem even happier and more in love than they used to be.

My friend hosted a sex toy party and her grandma came and was such a champ- she was hilarious like a Betty White if you will. There was a spanking paddle and she was like "Wow, I had 4 kids and never got spanked- I'm doing something wrong!"

[Deleted User]

.

ShesSoCold

ashley8918 said:

ShesSoCold said:

KatWAG said:

ShesSoCold said:

I took a class my senior year of high school where we got the fake baby. It was "Contemporary Life". First quarter, we planned weddings and talked about relationships. Second quarter, we talked about babies, jobs, taxes and divorce. We got the fake baby for three days. The last day of class we went to the courthouse and sat in on divorce hearings. I loved that class. It was so easy. 

My sexed experience was much like @katwag's. I'm in IL also. I think in fourth grade they separated the boys and girls and talked to us about periods. Then again in fifth. In sixth we went to some education place and dicked around all day when we were supposed to be learning about sex. My freshman year health class was also taught by a football coach and he was not comfortable. Even he looked away when we watched the birth video. 

@shessocold did you go to Robert Crown for your sex ed? That is where I went. The boys were told not to tease girls about getting their periods and girls were told how to use a pad. That was pretty much it. 

Yess! That's basically what I remember about it too. And I feel like I recall a giant uterus playground type thing that you could crawl through. Maybe it was a heart. And then we went again to learn about the horrors of alcohol and drugs. 

OMG YES! I went there too!

I remember being excited to go there the second time to learn about drugs because we were told there were giant inflatable cigarettes. 

There were not. And we were sad.

Chipmunk415

@MagicInk I'm dying here at "gay yoda." I've a mental image of yoda rocking a cape to make Liberace jealous, leaning on his staff and saying "forgot lubricant for your strap on, did you? Work on your technique, you must."

Honestly, sex ed would have been taught better by yoda than any of the teachers I had in school.

Dad couldn't handle talking sex ed with me. But he had no qualms about pulling his medical books and showing me what it would look like if I got a herpes (or similar) infection in full page color images. That kinda killed the sex interest till college....

afox007

Chipmunk415 said:

@MagicInk I'm dying here at "gay yoda." I've a mental image of yoda rocking a cape to make Liberace jealous, leaning on his staff and saying "forgot lubricant for your strap on, did you? Work on your technique, you must."

Honestly, sex ed would have been taught better by yoda than any of the teachers I had in school.

Dad couldn't handle talking sex ed with me. But he had no qualms about pulling his medical books and showing me what it would look like if I got a herpes (or similar) infection in full page color images. That kinda killed the sex interest till college....

My dad was always very awkward with talking to me about sex, but he tried. I remember one day he grabbed a copy of Cosmo from me when he saw me looking at the 520 ways to makes sex better article. He made a bunch of faces, then told me only one of those was actually going to work, then he walked away. He never did tell me which one..

ashley8918

Yeah, we learned essentially nothing in our week-long, one and only, sex ed unit in, maybe 5th grade.

Girls learned about periods, boys learned about BONERZ, and then together we watched a birth video, and a slide show of a bunch of diseased genitalia. That's it. No birth control, no real talk about sex or how pregnancy even happens... nothing.

Guess who got herself pregnant at 15 and again at 17? Thank the flying spaghetti monster that my boyfriend at 15 had good parents. They talked to me about my options, including abortion, which I ultimately chose (with the support of my mom). BEST decision I ever made. Honestly, I should have made it again at 17. I'm glad I have my son now, but it was a bad choice at the time. 

Go ahead and hate on me for saying that.

VulgarGirl

ashley8918 said:

Yeah, we learned essentially nothing in our week-long, one and only, sex ed unit in, maybe 5th grade.

Girls learned about periods, boys learned about BONERZ, and then together we watched a birth video, and a slide show of a bunch of diseased genitalia. That's it. No birth control, no real talk about sex or how pregnancy even happens... nothing.

Guess who got herself pregnant at 15 and again at 17? Thank the flying spaghetti monster that my boyfriend at 15 had good parents. They talked to me about my options, including abortion, which I ultimately chose, with the support of my mom. BEST decision I ever made. Honestly, I should have made it again at 17. I'm glad I have my son now, but it was a bad choice at the time. 

Go ahead and hate on me for saying that.

My mom has said something similar about her own pregnancy with me.

While she loves me a lot, in retrospect, she wasn't ready to be a mom and should have waited. Though she also says had she not had me she probably never would have had kids at all. I was the one that snuck in.

She does say she flats out regrets marrying my dad because they were both so unhappy for years. They get along great now but some people just are not meant to be married. And they only got married cause she was knocked up with lil 'ol me. 

hellosweetie1015

kns1988 said:

My family is so female-centric and feminist that we got cakes to celebrate getting periods. As in, you got your period for the first time? Here's an icecream cake and balloons! It's a funny memory.

But yeah, sex ed at our school was lackluster. I got it mostly from home. I wish consent would have been talked about more at school because not knowing about the gray areas and then having those gray areas happen to me led to some very fucked up emotions.

On mobile and too lazy to bold but re: the cake: I am instituting a "first period" cake policy with any future daughter I may have. I may institute a period cake policy for the rest of my life. That would make dealing with them so much nicer.

Talking sex with my dad - based on my recollection - involves "oh, let me show you the shotgun I have for the boy who sexes with you" and "don't fucking do it" and other useless info.

At least my mom has gotten better. When she found out I was having sex, she told me how disappointed she was and how if I got pregnant before I got married she would disown me. When my middle sister started, she essentially ignored it entirely. When my baby sister started, Mom had her BF get tested and got her birth control.