Calling "dibs" on a potential bridesmaid?

sunflower0592

I've come into a little bit of a dilemma. I'm planning a wedding for October 2016, and I already know the girls I want to ask to be my bridesmaids. One of them, a good friend of mine (though I guess it goes without saying that they're all my good friends), told me yesterday that she has another friend getting married across the country also in October 2016, but she doesn't know the exact date yet. I haven't formally asked any of my girls to be bridesmaids yet, I was going to wait until this fall. Should I ask her now so I know for sure that she'll be able to do it? I'm worried if I wait too long, or the odds that me and her other friend chose the same date, that I'll miss my chance. I know that you shouldn't ask potential bridal party members too early, but I feel like situations like this are exceptions to the rule.

southernbelle0915

If you want to, go ahead. But IMO, it's VERY early to ask BMs for an October 2016 wedding. Usually, the recommendation is to ask 9 or 10 months out. 

She may want to stand up in this other wedding equally or moreso than she does yours. Be prepared for her to tell you she isn't sure.

Maggie0829

I would just let her know the date of your wedding but that is it.

And how do you know that she will even be asked to be a BM in the wedding across the country?

Look, shit happens, but I think calling "dibs" is kind of silly.  Wait until the fall.  Your friend may have already made a decision about which wedding she will go to if they fall on the same date in her mind already and shockingly it may not be yours.  And even if you do ask her now and she says yes, she may change her mind if she finds out the date of the other wedding.

TrixieJess

Knottie42130483 said:

I've come into a little bit of a dilemma. I'm planning a wedding for October 2016, and I already know the girls I want to ask to be my bridesmaids. One of them, a good friend of mine (though I guess it goes without saying that they're all my good friends), told me yesterday that she has another friend getting married across the country also in October 2016, but she doesn't know the exact date yet. I haven't formally asked any of my girls to be bridesmaids yet, I was going to wait until this fall. Should I ask her now so I know for sure that she'll be able to do it? I'm worried if I wait too long, or the odds that me and her other friend chose the same date, that I'll miss my chance. I know that you shouldn't ask potential bridal party members too early, but I feel like situations like this are exceptions to the rule.

Is she like the last piece of pizza in the box? The last twizzler in the bag? Are you trying to be the first one in the shower after a weekend in the woods? 'Cause those are all things I've called dibs on. BMs, not so much. No one has to say yes, they can say no, for any reason. 

bride2b71614

Do you have a date picked and solidified? Unless she has the exact same date, there is nothing to worry about. People are not objects that you may call dibs on. Wait until you are nine months out to establish your bridal party and maybe the other girl will choose a different date.