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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Flower girl/Junior bridesmaid

2

Re: Flower girl/Junior bridesmaid

  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    For my wedding, the correct term for my 11 year old sisters is junior bridesmaid. You can argue all you want, I really don't care, but you can't change what it is for me just like I can't change what it is for you. Also, it's not giving them a lesser title, it's just giving them a title that indicates that they're younger.

    But why is that even necessary?  It is pretty obvious just by looking at them that they are younger.  So if that is the only reason you feel it necessary to give them that title, well I think that is just plain dumb.

    And yes, since a blog on the internet says it then it must be correct.  And what an odd cutoff with the ages.  Who knew that when you turned 15 you became so much older and can now wear sexy, grownup BM dresses.

    Don't know why you guys have to be so rude. Compared to the other forums I'm on, you guys are wolves!

    Anyway, by 15, you're probably a sophomore in high school which means you've probably attended high school dances at which you wore "older" dresses that were mom approved. In some states you can drive at 15. And the difference between 15 and 11 is four years which is actually a lot which I say based on psychology (I have taken 2 different developmental psych classes, one specifically about children and adolescents) and personal experience.

    Well. We should just all stop now then. You're an expert. 

    image
  • Oh, it says it somewhere on a blog on the internet! 
    Well, screw hundreds of years of tradition and correct language usage. There's a place on the internet that says so! The folks at brides.com are now lexicographers. 

    Bonjour. 

    You can argue all you want. It's a stupid and meaningless expression, invented by retail vendors (those great arbiters of family tradition, I guess)  and the fact that other people in the world mindlessly go along with it means absolutely nothing. 

    You have two bridesmaids younger than your other bridesmaids. If you're deeply troubled by this and feel a deep and unexplainable need to identify and label them as younger, whatever. It's absolutely 100% meaningless. That's what makes it so remarkably stupid.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    For my wedding, the correct term for my 11 year old sisters is junior bridesmaid. You can argue all you want, I really don't care, but you can't change what it is for me just like I can't change what it is for you. Also, it's not giving them a lesser title, it's just giving them a title that indicates that they're younger.

    But why is that even necessary?  It is pretty obvious just by looking at them that they are younger.  So if that is the only reason you feel it necessary to give them that title, well I think that is just plain dumb.

    And yes, since a blog on the internet says it then it must be correct.  And what an odd cutoff with the ages.  Who knew that when you turned 15 you became so much older and can now wear sexy, grownup BM dresses.

    Don't know why you guys have to be so rude. Compared to the other forums I'm on, you guys are wolves!

    Anyway, by 15, you're probably a sophomore in high school which means you've probably attended high school dances at which you wore "older" dresses that were mom approved. In some states you can drive at 15. And the difference between 15 and 11 is four years which is actually a lot which I say based on psychology (I have taken 2 different developmental psych classes, one specifically about children and adolescents) and personal experience.
    And a 14 year old hasn't?  Pretty sure I went to Homecoming in 9th grade (14 years old) and wore a strapless gown.

    Wow, I had no idea you were an expert.  That changes everything.

    But what you are not understanding is that there is NO DIFFERENCE between what a 30 year old BM has to do and what an 11 year old BM has to do.  The only thing that a BM is required to do is get the chosen dress and show up on time for your wedding.  That is it.  What you are doing is choosing to point out the differences between these people when there is no difference in regards to their role as a BM.

    And calling us wolves.  I think that is a new one.  So congrats on that.

    You can keep defending your choice all you want, but sorry to say your defense is rather weak and silly.  You are the one imposing these differences because of some ridiculous notion, sorry "tradition", that only a certain age group can be called a BM. When in reality you can have BMs that range from 3 years old to 100 if you want.  They all do the exact same thing, which is standing up next to you on your wedding day.

    [Deleted User]
  • Everything was made up at one point. Nowadays, junior bridesmaids are common, so get over yourself. And in my wedding, it's not stupid, it's not meaningless, and it's happening. Stop fighting me on it because it's not your decision.
    JerseyBeachGal22
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Everything was made up at one point. Nowadays, junior bridesmaids are common, so get over yourself. And in my wedding, it's not stupid, it's not meaningless, and it's happening. Stop fighting me on it because it's not your decision.
    Pretty sure some of your guests will think it is stupid and meaningless.

    And why do you keep bolding and italicizing "my wedding?"

    [Deleted User]
  • Everything was made up at one point. Nowadays, junior bridesmaids are common, so get over yourself. And in my wedding, it's not stupid, it's not meaningless, and it's happening. Stop fighting me on it because it's not your decision.
    Pretty sure some of your guests will think it is stupid and meaningless.

    And why do you keep bolding and italicizing "my wedding?"
    Just because you and possibly some of my guests will feel that way doesn't mean that it IS stupid and meaningless. A

    And why? Because you people don't seem to get that everyone gets their own day and gets to set the rules for it.
    snowywinter
  • justsie said:
    I have a masters in psychology. Does that mean my comments are more vaild than yours?
    Only if you have the right imaginary title, and that title was granted by a retail clothing department and verified by a random internet blog. Because without imaginary titles, the whole damned world will just dissolve into a state of chaos. The sky will fall. There will be blue all over the fucking place. 

    [Deleted User]
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Everything was made up at one point. Nowadays, junior bridesmaids are common, so get over yourself. And in my wedding, it's not stupid, it's not meaningless, and it's happening. Stop fighting me on it because it's not your decision.
    Pretty sure some of your guests will think it is stupid and meaningless.

    And why do you keep bolding and italicizing "my wedding?"
    Just because you and possibly some of my guests will feel that way doesn't mean that it IS stupid and meaningless. A

    And why? Because you people don't seem to get that everyone gets their own day and gets to set the rules for it.
    Well no you really don't get to set your own rules for everything.  You should be following etiquette guidelines in regards to your guests comfort.  I mean you can't just say "All guests will have to stand for the duration of the event because it is my wedding."

    Anyway, I can see that you have no real reason to use such a ridiculous title but you are doing it mainly because "it is common" and "other people do it."

    But personally I wouldn't want my guests to think that I was ridiculous for using junior bridesmaid when they can see for their own two eyes that they are in fact younger, but no less of a BM.  I mean, why point out the obvious?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    For my wedding, the correct term for my 11 year old sisters is junior bridesmaid. You can argue all you want, I really don't care, but you can't change what it is for me just like I can't change what it is for you. Also, it's not giving them a lesser title, it's just giving them a title that indicates that they're younger.

    But why is that even necessary?  It is pretty obvious just by looking at them that they are younger.  So if that is the only reason you feel it necessary to give them that title, well I think that is just plain dumb.

    And yes, since a blog on the internet says it then it must be correct.  And what an odd cutoff with the ages.  Who knew that when you turned 15 you became so much older and can now wear sexy, grownup BM dresses.

    Don't know why you guys have to be so rude. Compared to the other forums I'm on, you guys are wolves!

    Anyway, by 15, you're probably a sophomore in high school which means you've probably attended high school dances at which you wore "older" dresses that were mom approved. In some states you can drive at 15. And the difference between 15 and 11 is four years which is actually a lot which I say based on psychology (I have taken 2 different developmental psych classes, one specifically about children and adolescents) and personal experience.
    None of this makes any difference in terms of whether or not an 11 year old can be a bridesmaid.
  • Not sure what your problem is, but I'm making sure it's not my problem.
  • justsiejustsie member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2015
    justsie said:
    I have a masters in psychology. Does that mean my comments are more vaild than yours?
    Only if you have the right imaginary title, and that title was granted by a retail clothing department and verified by a random internet blog. Because without imaginary titles, the whole damned world will just dissolve into a state of chaos. The sky will fall. There will be blue all over the fucking place. 

    Boxes???????

    Well crap! I had it up until it has to verified by a random internet blog....wait....does my own internet blog count? I empathize its mine because everyone gets their own blog and gets to set their own rules for it.  
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    ohannabelle[Deleted User]
  • Not one single comment has explained the great purpose and meaning behind the title. 
    Several people have asked what the purpose of the "title" is, and why the need to use it. 

    Still waiting for a logical answer. "It's my day," is not an explanation. "Because I can" is not an explanation.

    So, logic, please....if a "junior" bridesmaid is called a "bridesmaid," what exactly changes? What exactly is the resulting effect of not using a silly wedding industry title? Because it must be very serious, indeed. 

    @justie: nope, your own blog is not random enough. I want non verification from a completely random and unauthenticated source. 
  • Nothing happens. But a junior bridesmaid in my wedding won't be called a bridesmaid because IMO, they are too young to be a full bridesmaid. Now enough of this nonsense, I really don't know why you guys are ganging up on me and disregarding my values and opinions which are just as valid as anyone elses.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Not sure what your problem is, but I'm making sure it's not my problem.
    Is that the sound of a pot calling a kettle black?
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Nothing happens. But a junior bridesmaid in my wedding won't be called a bridesmaid because IMO, they are too young to be a full bridesmaid. Now enough of this nonsense, I really don't know why you guys are ganging up on me and disregarding my values and opinions which are just as valid as anyone elses.

    I'm sorry, your values? What the hell do your values have to do with calling an 11 year old a bridesmaid?

    ohannabelle[Deleted User]
  • I should think the possibility of hurting your sisters' feelings (which calling them 'junior' almost certainly will, even if they are too nice to say so) should outweigh your insistence that they are too young to simply be bridesmaids. A bridesmaid processes down the aisle and smiles for pictures. The role has no age constraints providing the person in question can make it down the aisle of their own volition.
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    [Deleted User]Heffalump
  • Nothing happens. But a junior bridesmaid in my wedding won't be called a bridesmaid because IMO, they are too young to be a full bridesmaid. Now enough of this nonsense, I really don't know why you guys are ganging up on me and disregarding my values and opinions which are just as valid as anyone elses.
    What exactly defines a "full bridesmaid?" And what exactly are the young bridesmaids "too young" for? Putting on a dress and walking down the aisle? Smiling at the camera? 

    What values are you talking about? Values have nothing to do with this. We're talking about definitions of words. Adult English language vs. wedding industry meaningless twaddle. 

    Still no logic. You're saying things, but it's nonsense. Please explain the difference between a "full bridesmaid" and a "junior bridesmaid." Are you calling the adult bridesmaids "full bridesmaids?" Because that would be something. A new title. It could happen. People invent things all the time.
    [Deleted User]
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Values? WTF? So you thinking tacking on the word "junior" to bridesmaid so people know she is younger, which also gets the big WTF from me, somehow represents your VALUES? Do you know what values are? Because if you think this has anything to do with them, you clearly don't.

     Is designating someone a bridesmaid and someone else MOH also part of your "values"? Because those, too, are just titles that don't change the roles of the people in them, and I can't imagine you would ever claim your values make you designate someone the MOH.

     You seriously make no sense and seem to be missing the point everyone is trying to make to you.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • For my wedding, the correct term for my 11 year old sisters is junior bridesmaid. You can argue all you want, I really don't care, but you can't change what it is for me just like I can't change what it is for you. Also, it's not giving them a lesser title, it's just giving them a title that indicates that they're younger.


    My BIL had his 60+ year old dad stand up on his side.

    Would he be a "senior groomsman" because he's older? They didn't give him the senior title, so most people probably were confused and thought he was the same age as the other GMs.
    *********************************************************************************

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    AddieCake[Deleted User][Deleted User]Teddy917
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    For my wedding, the correct term for my 11 year old sisters is junior bridesmaid. You can argue all you want, I really don't care, but you can't change what it is for me just like I can't change what it is for you. Also, it's not giving them a lesser title, it's just giving them a title that indicates that they're younger.

    My BIL had his 60+ year old dad stand up on his side. Would he be a "senior groomsman" because he's older? They didn't give him the senior title, so most people probably were confused and thought he was the same age as the other GMs.
    Did you get a senior discount on his tux since he was a senior groomsman? I feel like there should be a discount. And a free coffee with every tux rental.

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    AddieCakelyndausvi[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • OP:  I was in my cousin's wedding when I was 10 and was a junior bridesmaid.  I wasn't old enough to be involved in any of the planning but was invited to all the events and walked down the aisle.  I'm so very glad you're putting your junior bridesmaid in a dress similar to the other bridesmaids though.  Me and the other junior, she was 8.5, were dressed like flower girls, big white poofy dresses to match the bride.  They were much too young of a style for our ages at the time.

    I don't think it would look odd for the 11 year old to escort the younger one down the aisle.  Even if she just walks closely behind her to give her a little nudge if needed, or scoop her up if it looks like it's going downhill.   I would have serious nerves about having a child that young in the wedding though so perhaps have her escorted down the aisle and then sit on a relatives lap for the rest?  I was recently at a wedding where the three year old ring bearer ran wild for the length of the ceremony because once he got up the aisle they tried to have him stand there like the others.  Bad idea!

    JerseyBeachGal22
  • I should think the possibility of hurting your sisters' feelings (which calling them 'junior' almost certainly will, even if they are too nice to say so) should outweigh your insistence that they are too young to simply be bridesmaids. A bridesmaid processes down the aisle and smiles for pictures. The role has no age constraints providing the person in question can make it down the aisle of their own volition.
    Also, most 11 year olds don't like being treated like children, which is which you are pointing out by giving them this "title."
    artbyallie[Deleted User]Heffalump
  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp East Hanover, NJ member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    Everything was made up at one point. Nowadays, junior bridesmaids are common, so get over yourself. And in my wedding, it's not stupid, it's not meaningless, and it's happening. Stop fighting me on it because it's not your decision.
    Pretty sure some of your guests will think it is stupid and meaningless.

    And why do you keep bolding and italicizing "my wedding?"
    Just because you and possibly some of my guests will feel that way doesn't mean that it IS stupid and meaningless. A

    And why? Because you people don't seem to get that everyone gets their own day and gets to set the rules for it.
    Good god, the bolded is my hot button.  Ugh!  

    No.

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    mikenberger[Deleted User]Heffalump[Deleted User]
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Wait, I could have made rules for my wedding day? Like, "anyone who wears brown socks must take a shot" or "I get to punch anyone who doesn't refer to a hairbrush as a dinglehopper"? I feel like I missed a really great opportunity. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    AddieCake[Deleted User]
  • Wait, I could have made rules for my wedding day? Like, "anyone who wears brown socks must take a shot" or "I get to punch anyone who doesn't refer to a hairbrush as a dinglehopper"? I feel like I missed a really great opportunity. 
    image

    mrscomposerShesSoColdTeddy917
  • I was a "junior bridesmaid" when I was 12 and I was not offended that I was a "jr."   I was happy to be involved in my cousins wedding.  We wore dresses similar to the bridesmaids.  I never felt less important.  I don't know why people make a big deal about it.   I didn't have jr. bridesmaids myself, but I also don't care if they are there.  Yes, they are all technically bridesmaids and you can choose to call them a jr. bridesmaid or a bridesmaid IMO.  They can be a "bridesmaid" and just wear a different age appropriate dress too.  Does not matter. 

    as for the younger flower girl, again it may be too young and it may not--again up to the parents to ultimately decide that.  Our flower girl was not even 2 yet.  As the bride, I had no expectations.  If she was not into it, then Oh well I would not have a had a flower girl walk down the aisle.  Her mom & dad were excited about it and she participated.  Her mom was my best friend, FG calls me auntie, she was the most important person to me for that "role."  She walked down the aisle and was happy as can be.  She had a basket of flowers and did not throw petals.  We sat her grandma in the second row and she sat with her through the 10 min ceremony (her mom was a bridesmaid).  She danced the night away at the reception too.  I have seen 6 or 7 year olds too shy and throw fits about walking down the aisle so just because they are younger does not mean its going to be a disaster.  Totally varies by child.  Just don't get upset if they don't want to do it that day.     
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    Anniversary
    JerseyBeachGal22
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2015
    I think Senior Bridesmaid is what the Maid of Honor is demoted to when she doesn't
    a) plan a spectacular enough shower
    b) go to at least 3 dress shopping appointments
    c) attend the bachelorette because she has to work
    d) help address envelopes and/or assemble Pinterest-inspired bird nest favors
    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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