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Snarky Brides

FBIL sat on his hands about Bachelor party and is now being an a$$

I just need to vent!!!!


A few months ago my MOH asked me if she could plan a bachelorette party for me (which I am excited for) and asked me to provide a list of possible dates and a list of people. After that my hands have been out of any planning (which it should be) and I know that we are meeting at a hotel this weekend and going to do some fun activities.

One of the people on that list was my SIL (she is married to my brother who is a groomsman in the wedding). My FI is really good friends with my brother and has a better relationship then with his own brother. So over a month ago my brother messaged be asking when the party was for my FI since I was having one and it was already scheduled. I said that nothing was planned (FI best man is his dad- we didnt expect him to do anything) so my brother took it on his own to plan a party for my FI. 

The group is all into hunting and fishing. So my brother booked a trap shoot followed by a pontoon fishing trip, go back to his house (which is near the lake) to grill and then for those that want to head out to one of the local bars for a live band. Its a very low key party and my brother said all said and done it will be around $50 a person with each providing their own ammunition for the trap shooting. I did not plan this at all as it was all my brother but he had told my FI what they were going to be doing.

So now all of sudden my FI brother called up all pissy about the fact we did not come to him to arrange a party and how he is being completely excluded even though he is invited (my FI tried to explain that my brother approached on his own). He then went on to complain about the cost and who is going to pay if it rains (since my brother is renting the pontoon for the day) and how it was stupid to go to the bar after doing things all day. FI brother then commented on how he didn't do a party before their wedding so why is my FI even bothering since there is no point (FI brother got married quickly by a immediate family only ceremony after they found out they were expecting and then a year later had a "wedding" which was really a vow renewal and pissed off extended family since many didn't know they were already married) .  

He called again last night (since there is a 20% chance of rain for Saturday and wants to know if they are going to cancel) and it just boils my blood- I just wanted to grab the phone and say that if he doesn't want to go then don't ruin it for everyone else!  We can not get it through his head that we are not planning the party and it is not our fault that he did not offer to throw a party before. 

Re: FBIL sat on his hands about Bachelor party and is now being an a$$

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Stop taking his calls.
    YogaSandycourtmcmPrettyGirlLost
  • BouxRadleyBouxRadley DFW member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Seriously, other than starting a fight, it seems like your hands are tied. 
  • MnHGirl said:
    I just need to vent!!!!


    A few months ago my MOH asked me if she could plan a bachelorette party for me (which I am excited for) and asked me to provide a list of possible dates and a list of people. After that my hands have been out of any planning (which it should be) and I know that we are meeting at a hotel this weekend and going to do some fun activities.

    One of the people on that list was my SIL (she is married to my brother who is a groomsman in the wedding). My FI is really good friends with my brother and has a better relationship then with his own brother. So over a month ago my brother messaged be asking when the party was for my FI since I was having one and it was already scheduled. I said that nothing was planned (FI best man is his dad- we didnt expect him to do anything) so my brother took it on his own to plan a party for my FI. 

    The group is all into hunting and fishing. So my brother booked a trap shoot followed by a pontoon fishing trip, go back to his house (which is near the lake) to grill and then for those that want to head out to one of the local bars for a live band. Its a very low key party and my brother said all said and done it will be around $50 a person with each providing their own ammunition for the trap shooting. I did not plan this at all as it was all my brother but he had told my FI what they were going to be doing.

    So now all of sudden my FI brother called up all pissy about the fact we did not come to him to arrange a party and how he is being completely excluded even though he is invited (my FI tried to explain that my brother approached on his own). He then went on to complain about the cost and who is going to pay if it rains (since my brother is renting the pontoon for the day) and how it was stupid to go to the bar after doing things all day. FI brother then commented on how he didn't do a party before their wedding so why is my FI even bothering since there is no point (FI brother got married quickly by a immediate family only ceremony after they found out they were expecting and then a year later had a "wedding" which was really a vow renewal and pissed off extended family since many didn't know they were already married) .  

    He called again last night (since there is a 20% chance of rain for Saturday and wants to know if they are going to cancel) and it just boils my blood- I just wanted to grab the phone and say that if he doesn't want to go then don't ruin it for everyone else!  We can not get it through his head that we are not planning the party and it is not our fault that he did not offer to throw a party before. 
    I agree with PP, stop answering his calls. 
    image
  • You shouldn't be a part of this. It wasn't your doing, and it was a very nice thing your brother did. I am surprised FBIL is mad that you and Fi didn't "come to him to arrange a party". I guess I just think it's rude to ASK someone to throw you a party. If someone does like your MOH did that's wonderful, but I would never feel comfortable asking for it. Especially after asking them to be in the wedding which requires a time and financial commitment on it's own. In our case, it means taking off work and traveling out of state, plus attire etc... So perhaps your FI could explain they he didn't want to ask for more from him. What about his father? Could he perhaps be a better person to talk to the brother? Good luck, but if he wants to be a whiner about it I think you should just tune it out. He'll get over it.
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