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Destination Wedding & Bridal Shower

Knottie94491824Knottie94491824 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Destination Weddings Discussions
Hi guys,

Newbie here! I am having a destination wedding and party when I come home. My mom is throwing my shower and thinks its ok to invite the people who we are inviting to the "after" party to my bridal shower. (These guests arent invited to the destination wedding) I'm not being selfish as I'm not asking for gifts at the wedding or the after party, so please don't kill me with hate!

What do you think is ok? 

Thanks for all the feedback in advance!
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Re: Destination Wedding & Bridal Shower

  • redoryxredoryx member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Your mom is wrong. 

    Everyone who is invited to the shower must be invited to the actual wedding ceremony. The at home reception/"after" party does not count. 
    image
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    redoryx said:
    Your mom is wrong. 

    Everyone who is invited to the shower must be invited to the actual wedding ceremony. The at home reception/"after" party does not count. 


    this.

     

    And, IMHO, the at home party is supposed to be for those invited to the wedding, but could not attend (and you can also invite people who did attend the DW). The exception to that is when you have a super small DW, like immediate family only. I personally just find AHRs to be a it much, but they are acceptable etiquette-wise.

     







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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2015
    Knottie94491824 said:
    Hi guys,

    Newbie here! I am having a destination wedding and party when I come home. My mom is throwing my shower and thinks its ok to invite the people who we are inviting to the "after" party to my bridal shower. (These guests arent invited to the destination wedding) I'm not being selfish as I'm not asking for gifts at the wedding or the after party, so please don't kill me with hate!

    What do you think is ok? 

    Thanks for all the feedback in advance!
    The party after your return from your destination wedding is not a part of your wedding.  Your get one day, not two.  Your wedding day will be at your destination.  Anything held on subsequent days is not a part of your wedding.
    If your Mom insists on throwing you a bridal shower  (This would have been taboo ten years ago, and is still side-eyed in many places.) then she should only invite the people who are invited to your destination wedding.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    Anyone invited to the shower must be invited to the actual wedding. Otherwise, it looks like those people are being used for presents. The AHR does not count and it's kind of a consolation prize anyway.

    I'd be super pissed and judge the couple hard if I were invited to the shower and not the wedding, even if I was invited to the AHR.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Jells2dot0 said:
    redoryx said:
    Your mom is wrong. 

    Everyone who is invited to the shower must be invited to the actual wedding ceremony. The at home reception/"after" party does not count. 


    this.

     

    And, IMHO, the at home party is supposed to be for those invited to the wedding, but could not attend (and you can also invite people who did attend the DW). The exception to that is when you have a super small DW, like immediate family only. I personally just find AHRs to be a it much, but they are acceptable etiquette-wise.

    This. The AHR is supposed to be a party for people who couldn't make it to the DW, not a consolation prize for people who weren't invited.

    It's rude to invite people to wedding related parties when they aren't invited to the actual wedding. The rule applies to the AHR just as it applies to the shower. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I personally don't get AHRs.  You have one wedding with one reception.  Those who can make can make it, those who can't oh well.  You aren't doing anyone a favor by having a consolation party.

    As for the shower, anyone invited to the shower must be invited to the actual wedding, not just your AHR.

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