Etiquette

bxbfgfd

edited June 2015 in Etiquette
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Re: bxbfgfd

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
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    Alright, I have a bit of an issue here. I invited my aunt, and her 3 children (2 of which are in their 20's, the other is 13 but this doesn't really matter). I texted her to ask her about her RSVP & the whereabouts. She replied that she isn't sure whether the two oldest are coming, but her, the youngest and her boyfriend are coming. I did not invite her boyfriend. How do I approach this? Frankly, we don't have the room to be adding on extra people and she is always in between guys - so I don't feel like he should be there. 

    My fiance & I have not given singles plus ones, since we want to keep this intimate and just mostly family and close friends. We have told our younger cousins that they couldn't bring their boyfriends so why should she be able to bring hers? 

    You're wrong here. Anyone in a relationship, regardless of how long or how valid you believe it is, should be invited with their SO, by name.
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    adk19PrettyGirlLost
  • edited June 2015
  • This is a brand new relationship - we have never met the guy. She constantly has a new boyfriend. As for the cousins, they were invited with their parents as they are late teens. 
    And we're telling you it doesn't matter, he still should have been invited. He is her boyfriend. It is not up to you to judge.
    adk19novella1186JCbride2015PrettyGirlLost
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario
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    This is a brand new relationship - we have never met the guy. She constantly has a new boyfriend. As for the cousins, they were invited with their parents as they are late teens. 

    Absolutely none of this matters. It is not up to you to judge the validity of someone's relationship. If they are a couple at the time invites go out then they get invited. It's super simple. But if you don't give a shit about offending her, then by all means stay up there on your high horse hand-picking which relationships are "legitimate."

    For the cousins in their teens, if they're under 18 then you don't have to invite them with their SOs. But for all legal adults, absolutely.

    Formerly martha1818

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    adk19OliveOilsMom
  • edited June 2015
  • adk19adk19
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    Also, your 20 year old cousins should have been sent their own invitation including any boyfriends/girlfriends/significant others that they have as well.  No 20 year old should be included on their parents' invitation.
    ShesSoColdnovella1186OliveOilsMomhuskypuppy14
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
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    Sorry, I should've clarified that the invites were sent out BEFORE she had a boyfriend as well. 

    STUCK-----------

    It still doesn't matter though. She told you she has a BF and you need to accommodate that. Think about the message you're sending here if you don't - "please, come celebrate my relationship while I deem yours not good enough".
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    adk19novella1186lc07
  • edited June 2015
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
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    They all live together, SORRY.
    Technically though, adults should get their own invitation. H and I sent three invitations to the same address.
    image
    adk19Heffalump
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago
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    edited June 2015
    Alright, I have a bit of an issue here. I invited my aunt, and her 3 children (2 of which are in their 20's, the other is 13 but this doesn't really matter). I texted her to ask her about her RSVP & the whereabouts. She replied that she isn't sure whether the two oldest are coming, but her, the youngest and her boyfriend are coming. I did not invite her boyfriend. How do I approach this? Frankly, we don't have the room to be adding on extra people and she is always in between guys - so I don't feel like he should be there. 

    My fiance & I have not given singles plus ones, since we want to keep this intimate and just mostly family and close friends. We have told our younger cousins that they couldn't bring their boyfriends so why should she be able to bring hers? 


    This is a brand new relationship - we have never met the guy. She constantly has a new boyfriend. As for the cousins, they were invited with their parents as they are late teens. 


    So are the cousins in there late teens or 20s? Because if they are over 18, you need to invite their SOs. And you need to invite your Aunt's bf.

    Its not your cousins or Aunt fault that you planned poorly.

    ETA: in case it isn't clear, you planned poorly because you didn't leave room in your budget for new SOs.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    adk19
  • adk19adk19
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    They all live together, SORRY.
    It's fine that they all live together, the 20 year olds still get their own invitation.  Otherwise you end up with the situation you now have, where mom has no freaking idea what her grown children are doing.  If they got their own mail, they'd all have a physical invitation and be able to respond about whether or not they'll be there.  When I lived with my parents and we got joint mail, I never saw mail after my mom opened it.  I always had to go looking for Christmas cards I wanted to read.
  • edited June 2015
  • You are on an etiquette board and people are telling you you did not follow proper etiquette. It's not snark. Just reality.
    adk19OliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLostTheDeathLlama
  • edited June 2015
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
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    No, its pretty snarky. I asked for advice about my aunt, not on my cousins because clearly I don't follow proper etiquette. Which, thank all for your advice on my aunt. I can express that I don't want him to be there, can't I? Not to her, but I just mean in general. 
    When you put stuff out there, people are going to comment. Especially when what you're doing is incorrect. 

    I mean, I guess you could whine that your aunt has a boyfriend, but you shouldn't and I don't understand why you would. Wasn't there a time when you and your fiance were a brand new couple?
    image
    adk19OliveOilsMomHeffalump
  • edited June 2015
  • They all live together, SORRY.
    Technically though, adults should get their own invitation. H and I sent three invitations to the same address.
    I beat you! I am sending 4 invites to the same address! lol :)
    adk19
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
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    aliwis000 said:
    They all live together, SORRY.
    Technically though, adults should get their own invitation. H and I sent three invitations to the same address.
    I beat you! I am sending 4 invites to the same address! lol :)
    LOL it felt so weird to me!
    image
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario
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    The thing is, I didn't ask for proper etiquette on the other things so maybe to keep that to yourself? Just a thought. 

    Maybe if you knew my aunt, you would understand. Countless boyfriends, seriously countless. I was JUST ASKING a question. 

    So now you're slut shaming her? Nice. And we're allowed to comment on any information you put out there.

    If I said, "Hey I'm getting married then I'm jumping off a cliff, any venue ideas for my wedding?" Then people are allowed to say "I like (x) venue! Also please don't jump off a cliff." Then I can't complain that they commented on something that wasn't part of my original question because I was the one to put that info out there.

    Formerly martha1818

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    adk19OliveOilsMomHeffalumpJCbride2015
  • adk19adk19
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    Go ahead and call your aunt and tell her, "Hi Aunt, please come to my wedding and celebrate my relationship, but don't bring the person with whom you're in a relationship.  Because I want to celebrate my relationship by shitting on yours.  Oh, and tell your grown children that to decide whether or not they'll be there, alone, too, because I don't want them to bring their significant others either."
    thespeshulestsnowflakearrrghmatey
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago
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    No, its pretty snarky. I asked for advice about my aunt, not on my cousins invitations because clearly I don't follow proper etiquette. Which, thank all for your advice on my aunt. I can express that I don't want him to be there, can't I? Not to her, but I just mean in general. 


    You can put whatever you want on the internet. And people are going to reply any way that they feel is appropriate.

    For me, I feel its appropriate to question the inconsistencies in your story and to let you know that you are being rude to your guests.

    And since you wanted a welcome party, here you go.

    image

     

    BabyFruit Ticker
    lovegood90hellohkbchibiyui
  • They don't have SO, the YOUNGER ones do.
  • ashtsbashtsb
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    edited June 2015
    My fiance's best man just got in a relationship. She is being extended an invitation even though none and I mean NONE of his relationships have ever worked out. Doesn't mean this one will or won't. You have no right to compare someone's past relationship with their current one regardless of how long their past relationships lasted.

    edited because typing is hard :(
    adk19
  • edited June 2015
  • edited June 2015
  • adk19adk19
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    They don't have SO, the YOUNGER ones do.
    When you're replying to a specific post, you should hit "quote" rather than "reply" so we know who you're responding to. 

    I assume this one is directed to me.  How old are the "younger" ones?  Because if it's an 18 year old, they should be invited with their own invitation and their significant other should be included.  You'll get conflicting answers about younger than that, mostly because 17 and younger are minors and their parents would be the ones to decide whether or not they should be travelling or potentially spending a night in a hotel with a significant other.
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