Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Breaking customs and tradition F.I. is taking my last name .

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Re: Breaking customs and tradition F.I. is taking my last name .

  • CMGragain said:
    Jen4948 said:
    CMGragain said:
    Nope.
    You seem to enjoy rejecting traditional etiquette.  What do YOU think the rules should be?
    When it comes to people's names, the rules are (and traditional etiquette actually supports this) that each person gets to decide what their name and title is.  If they don't change their last name or go by Mrs., Ms., Master, or whatever, that's their decision and it needs to be respected.  So it's not up to you to decide that a female same-sex married couple isn't Mrs. or Ms. if that's how they decide they want to be addressed.
    This is what I have been saying all along.  CHOICES.

    You keep saying CHOICES but yet you also keep quoting "traditional etiquette." So now I'm really fucking confused. 
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    VulgarGirljustsielovegood90
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2015
    Traditional etiquette gives the same choices.  Did you read the Emily Post article?

    I have work to do.  I'm gone for today. 
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    Traditional etiquette gives the same choices.  Did you read the Emily Post article?

    I have work to do.  I'm gone for today. 

    Yes I did, but as has already been pointed out by multiple people that article doesn't address the actual question that has been asked, a question that you continue to refuse to answer, instead opting to fall back on "traditional etiquette" and "choices" as answers which are non-answers. 

    Also, Emily Post these days is BS as we should all know so if that's where you're getting all of your  Etiquette from these days I think I can safely say that I won't be paying attention to it from now on. 
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    southernbelle0915Viczaesar
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2015
    CMGragain said:
    Traditional etiquette gives the same choices.  Did you read the Emily Post article?

    I have work to do.  I'm gone for today. 
    The article only gave options for a woman changing her name to her husband's. For all of us that didn't change our name at marriage, we would be (using the names from the article) Ms. Jane Johnson. That option isn't even there! 

    If it doesn't have a pretty common naming option, how can it even include the other less common options (like the one OP had a questions about, or Vulgar's wife's name, etc). That's why people are saying it's not a good source. 

    All people are saying is that etiquette rules for naming are not complete, so clinging to an Emily Post article is not appropriate in all circumstances. 

    No one is saying you can't be Mrs. John Doe. Most of us, I believe, would address you how you like to be addressed. 

    If someone sent you a card that said Mrs. Mary Doe, how do you respond to that? Do you correct them the next time you see them? Do you know how many times (I've only been married a year) been addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, when the correct nomenclature (for me) would be Ms. Jane Johnson and Mr. John Doe.

    Even though our naming choices are not the same, I think we probably feel the same when our choice isn't recognized.
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    MyNameIsNotCMGragain
  • CMGragain said:




    CMGragain said:

    All this is your own opinions.  When the etiquette books change, so will I, but I will not take the personal opinions of a few ladies as fact when they are not.
    There is nothing wrong with Ms. Jane Doe.  That was a typo, and I apologized for it a while back.
    Go back and read my original post on this thread.  I gave several CHOICES.  I have never objected to people prefering something different, and I DID say "traditional".  Sorry about the typo, though.

    I do not object to Ms. Jane Doe, or Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe.  I even listed them as one of the choices.  So what are you arguing about?

    I do object to someone telling me that my own personal preference is sexist.  Bull.  If you get a choice about your name, then so do I about mine.

    It IS sexist though. You suggested that a woman who keeps her last name still has the social title "Mrs. John HerLastName".
    No, I said that this would be one of her CHOICES.  Another choice is Ms. Jane Herlastname.

    First of all, that's not even correct. If I'm a woman who keeps my last name (I happen to be), my social title is "Ms. Jane MyLastName".  Yes, this is certainly your choice if you wish.

    Second of all, the notion that a woman's social title changes (even if she keeps her last name) to include her husband's first name, yet a man's title doesn't change at all is inherently sexist.   In the past, the man would often assume the woman's last name in order to keep the family name from disappearing.  You can change your last name to Bozo, and it won't affect the etiquette, traditional or modern.

    Assigning certain roles and rules based on sex is exactly the definition of sexism. I'm sorry if you don't like to think of this view as sexist, but that's exactly what it is. 

    Complain to Emily Post, Miss Manners, and Amy Vanderbilt - not me.  I'm for CHOICES.  Is it sexist to use one title (Mr.) for men and another (Mrs. Miss or Ms.) for women, too? What about trans?  I maintain that it is all about CHOICES.  Nobody has argued about this.


    You still haven't cited an etiquette source that backs up your statement that the social title of a woman who keeps her last name is "Mrs. HisFirst HerLast".

    The article you linked to ONLY addressed women who take their husband's last name. You can't just name drop "Emily Post, Miss Manners and Amy Vanderbilt" and expect everyone to be like "ohhhhhhhhhhhhh OK then." No.

    I'll wait while you back up your statement with an actual "standard etiquette" source.
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    redoryx[Deleted User]
  • CMGragain said:
    Jen4948 said:
    CMGragain said:
    Nope.
    You seem to enjoy rejecting traditional etiquette.  What do YOU think the rules should be?
    When it comes to people's names, the rules are (and traditional etiquette actually supports this) that each person gets to decide what their name and title is.  If they don't change their last name or go by Mrs., Ms., Master, or whatever, that's their decision and it needs to be respected.  So it's not up to you to decide that a female same-sex married couple isn't Mrs. or Ms. if that's how they decide they want to be addressed.
    This is what I have been saying all along.  CHOICES.
    ALL CAPS GET'S MY POINT ACROSS!  
    image
  • CMGragain said:
    Jen4948 said:
    CMGragain said:
    Nope.
    You seem to enjoy rejecting traditional etiquette.  What do YOU think the rules should be?
    When it comes to people's names, the rules are (and traditional etiquette actually supports this) that each person gets to decide what their name and title is.  If they don't change their last name or go by Mrs., Ms., Master, or whatever, that's their decision and it needs to be respected.  So it's not up to you to decide that a female same-sex married couple isn't Mrs. or Ms. if that's how they decide they want to be addressed.
    This is what I have been saying all along.  CHOICES.
    ALL CAPS GET'S MY POINT ACROSS!  
    Using an unnecessary apostrophe dulls that point.
    MyNameIsNotpinupbride6189CMGragainlc07
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