Cellphone use during weddings

Knottie1435890958

Hello everyone, 

I understand that there are existing discussions about cellphones during ceremony and reception in a wedding day and people are happy to be photographed by their loved ones and I am happy and agree with that too.

But I am wondering if you are ok with having teenagers or people using their cellphones during your wedding for personal reasons such as calling or texting a friend, checking their Facebook and Instagram feeds? Will it be wrong to send a note with the invitation asking people to not bring their cellphones?

Please help! I have teenagers in my family who are constantly checking their phones, texting friends, and playing video games, even they youngest children do that too during family reunions. 

Jen4948

While it's rude for people to use their cell phones at weddings, it would also be rude to tell your guests not to use them or to bring them to your wedding.

tj&cw

I know that a lot of people think that is rude to ask people not have cell phones. But we have it in our Wedding Programs, our priest is going to announce it and are having a sign made up that says "Welcome to our Unplugged Wedding....asking people not to use their cell phones until after the ceremony"---You can get them on Esty.

At my friends wedding she had a bunch of photos that she paid for that had guest taking photos with their cell phones. Our Photographer is very happy we are having the sign. 

I dont have any problem with people taking photos are the reception....but paying 3500.00 for photos I want to make sure they are great. 

Good Luck with whatever you choose to do

JCbride2015

Knottie1435890958 said:

Hello everyone, 

I understand that there are existing discussions about cellphones during ceremony and reception in a wedding day and people are happy to be photographed by their loved ones and I am happy and agree with that too.

But I am wondering if you are ok with having teenagers or people using their cellphones during your wedding for personal reasons such as calling or texting a friend, checking their Facebook and Instagram feeds? Will it be wrong to send a note with the invitation asking people to not bring their cellphones?

Please help! I have teenagers in my family who are constantly checking their phones, texting friends, and playing video games, even they youngest children do that too during family reunions. 

tj&cw said:

I know that a lot of people think that is rude to ask people not have cell phones. But we have it in our Wedding Programs, our priest is going to announce it and are having a sign made up that says "Welcome to our Unplugged Wedding....asking people not to use their cell phones until after the ceremony"---You can get them on Esty.

At my friends wedding she had a bunch of photos that she paid for that had guest taking photos with their cell phones. Our Photographer is very happy we are having the sign. 

I dont have any problem with people taking photos are the reception....but paying 3500.00 for photos I want to make sure they are great. 

Good Luck with whatever you choose to do

JIC

Jen4948

I know that a lot of people think that is rude to ask people not have cell phones. But we have it in our Wedding Programs, our priest is going to announce it and are having a sign made up that says "Welcome to our Unplugged Wedding....asking people not to use their cell phones until after the ceremony"---You can get them on Esty.

At my friends wedding she had a bunch of photos that she paid for that had guest taking photos with their cell phones. Our Photographer is very happy we are having the sign. 

I dont have any problem with people taking photos are the reception....but paying 3500.00 for photos I want to make sure they are great. 

Good Luck with whatever you choose to do

You can have your officiant make an announcement, but those signs won't stop anyone from using their cell phones during the ceremony.

JCbride2015

OP: Don't do this.  Your idea of sending a note with the invitations is extremely rude, and will only reflect badly on you as the host.  Not to mention ineffective, since teenagers are about as likely to leave their phone at home as a pig is to fly.  If the teenagers are on their phones the whole time, the only thing other guests will think is, "Meh, they're teenagers."  If you send a note trying to control the behavior of your guests, they will think, "Whoa, she's a controlling bridezilla."  No matter how good your intentions.  Just let it go.

Here's a general story about cell phones at weddings.  I recently went to a good friend's wedding where they attempted an "unplugged" ceremony.  They had cute little Etsy signs, a note in the programs, and the pastor made an announcement.  They tasked the poor GM with policing the guests up until the wedding party started walking down the aisle.  The only thing this accomplished was the GM rolling their eyes and half-heartedly correcting guests, and lots of snickering among the guests.  Then once the bride hit the aisle?  Everybody's cell phones were up taking pictures anyway.  What were they going to do, stop the ceremony?  Several guests got beautiful photos, and a good pro photog (of which they had three at the ceremony) can easily take a photo while keeping any guests with a phone out of frame.  There were plenty of people taking pics with their phones at my own ceremony and I didn't even notice.

There are some legitimate things to worry about regarding planning a wedding: your budget, what kind of ceremony to have, the best way to host your guests and who to have a rocking time.  Cell phones are not one of them.

levioosa

Super super rude.  So cell phones are going to absolutely RUIN your wedding?  If you are paying a photographer $3,500 and they can't get good shots, the problem isn't with your guests, it's with the photographer.  

WinstonsGirl

Teens (and any adults who are on their phones too) aren't going to listen to you for more than a minute or two before they forget and pull their phone out.  It's too habitual for lots of people.  If your photographer is even remotely good, they won't have problems with guests on phones.  

Personally, I couldn't even tell you who was at my wedding much less if they were on phones or not.  I was too busy getting married.  You will not notice if anyone is

Knottie1435890958

I am loving all the feedback! 

Thank you so much everyone. 

I will let it go! Promise!

I have better things to worry about and need to focus on getting married. 

Thank you all! 

lovesclimbing

If someone is texting or checking Instagram or FB during the wedding, you probably won't be able to tell because the phone will be in their lap and below the level of all the other heads and chairs.

As for calling, I cannot believe that there is anyone in the world rude enough to take or make a call in the middle of the wedding. I don't think that will happen.

MobKaz

If you are including children at your wedding, that cell phone, and the apps downloaded on it, might be the only thing that keeps them entertained, and thus, quiet, during your ceremony. Which would you prefer? My daughter made no mention of phones during her ceremony. Her photographer was able to capture all the significant moments without including one cell phone in any of the photographs. However, one guest captured my favorite photo from the day with his personal camera.

Jen4948

lovesclimbing said:

If someone is texting or checking Instagram or FB during the wedding, you probably won't be able to tell because the phone will be in their lap and below the level of all the other heads and chairs.

As for calling, I cannot believe that there is anyone in the world rude enough to take or make a call in the middle of the wedding. I don't think that will happen.

Actually my aunt, at her son's wedding, spoke on her cell phone while recessing back down the aisle. Tackiest thing I ever saw.

climbingsingle

I honestly have no idea if people were on their phones or not during our ceremony or reception. I had so much going on that day, I never even noticed. 

AddieCake

I can't believe you think people would agree to not even BRING their phones. 

Who cares if people are on their phones (the incident Jen provided aside) ?  The pictures will not be ruined or marred by this. Honestly, the only pictures you will most likely display are going to be the staged ones anyway, and are you really going to go through the other pictures and be pissy about seeing people on their phones and thinking they marred them? Really?  That's what you're going to focus on or care about on or looking back at your wedding day? 

pinupbride6189

Jen4948 said:

If someone is texting or checking Instagram or FB during the wedding, you probably won't be able to tell because the phone will be in their lap and below the level of all the other heads and chairs. As for calling, I cannot believe that there is anyone in the world rude enough to take or make a call in the middle of the wedding. I don't think that will happen.

Actually my aunt, at her son's wedding, spoke on her cell phone while recessing back down the aisle. Tackiest thing I ever saw.

Oh that's just gross.

Maggie0829

AddieCake said:

I can't believe you think people would agree to not even BRING their phones. 

Who cares if people are on their phones (the incident Jen provided aside) ?  The pictures will not be ruined or marred by this. Honestly, the only pictures you will most likely display are going to be the staged ones anyway, and are you really going to go through the other pictures and be pissy about seeing people on their phones and thinking they marred them? Really?  That's what you're going to focus on or care about on or looking back at your wedding day? 

QFT.

lyndausvi

You can't control other people.

Is it rude to talk and text on the phone during a ceremony?  Yes. Heck, I find it incredibly rude for people to text while at ANY party.   I fucking hate when I'm at dinner and people start in on social media or texting.    Basic manners.

However, it's not my job to police them. It's not my job to keep them "focused" on me.   Heck I DO NOT text, social media, whatever during a ceremony.  However, that does not mean I'm completely focused on the ceremony either.  I'm looking at architecture  what someone is wearing, stuff like that.  I'm listening, but I'm not what someone would consider completely focused either.

Not sure how many people you have at your wedding, but i had 147.   I couldn't tell you who was texting or not.   I do know a few of them were drinking alcolhol  during our ceremony.    NBD.

banana468

I'm going to ignore a note telling me not to bring my phone.   There's a good chance that when attending a wedding I'm leaving my child behind and I need to be able to check in on her.   I won't do that during your ceremony but I will want to be accessible.

Some people will text during your ceremony and others like my late grandmother will talk in a stage whisper.   Unfortunately there isn't much you can do other than to roll with it. 

AddieCake

I also think it's odd that you are peeved that people get on their phones during a family reunion as if that's some sort of event of a lifetime that nobody should miss a minute of. 

PrettyGirlLost

tj&cw said:

I know that a lot of people think that is rude to ask people not have cell phones. But we have it in our Wedding Programs, our priest is going to announce it and are having a sign made up that says "Welcome to our Unplugged Wedding....asking people not to use their cell phones until after the ceremony"---You can get them on Esty.

At my friends wedding she had a bunch of photos that she paid for that had guest taking photos with their cell phones. Our Photographer is very happy we are having the sign. 

I dont have any problem with people taking photos are the reception....but paying 3500.00 for photos I want to make sure they are great. 

Good Luck with whatever you choose to do

If your photographer is actually worth that $3500 then they will be able to get all of the shots they need regardless of guests taking pictures on their phones.

I paid a lot more for my photographer than you, and my photos turned out just fine, despite many guests taking pictures on their phones.  In fact, those guests photos are also great and I appreciate that I had access to them prior to my professional photos being finished.

SP29

Yes, rude for people to be on their phones during the ceremony (I think as a culture we can be pretty rude with our phones... but I digress). But also rude to tell people how to act (i.e. to not bring their phone).

Even if you told people to not bring their phone, I doubt they would. We ARE very connected to technology, that's they way our society has evolved. Likely there are people with children at home with the babysitter who want to make sure they can be reached, or other similar circumstances. I don't have kids, but I do have a horse that gets boarded, and I want to be able to be reached if there is an emergency. Does it happen? RARELY, but if something does, I'd like to be able to be contacted to make emergency decisions. Does that mean I'm going to sit there with my phone on my lap, volume turned up, *just in case*. No, of course not. But I would like to be able to quickly check my phone at appropriate times.

Many people also use their phone as a camera. I don't see how it's any different than someone who brings an actual camera and is taking photos too. "Professional" grade cameras are pretty large, larger than most phones (even the iphone 6 plus ).

We received lots of photos from guests, either via phone or camera. They are nice to have. Sometimes they capture moments your photographer doesn't. We also had some issues getting our photos from our photographer, so the photos our guests took could have been all we had...

I would generally expect adults to be respectful and not use their phone during the ceremony (but apparently this unfortunately doesn't always happen...), and that parents will tell their teens to put the phone away... but you can't control others. And if they are playing on their phones, it will likely be on their lap, so the camera isn't in the photo and they will be looking down same as if they were reading their ceremony program.

I couldn't tell you if anyone was texting on their phone during our ceremony- didn't notice any of our guests. There is a picture I have when I'm walking down the aisle and my grandmother reached out to touch my arm- I don't remember this happening! My dad set up is video camera for the ceremony, so you can hear people quietly talking and our niece chattering throughout the ceremony- didn't hear a word of it during the ceremony. You will honestly not notice very much that does not directly pertain to you on the day of.

Cookie Pusher

tj&cw said:

I know that a lot of people think that is rude to ask people not have cell phones. But we have it in our Wedding Programs, our priest is going to announce it and are having a sign made up that says "Welcome to our Unplugged Wedding....asking people not to use their cell phones until after the ceremony"---You can get them on Esty.

At my friends wedding she had a bunch of photos that she paid for that had guest taking photos with their cell phones. Our Photographer is very happy we are having the sign. 

I dont have any problem with people taking photos are the reception....but paying 3500.00 for photos I want to make sure they are great. 

Good Luck with whatever you choose to do

Wow, I paid far less than what you did for my photography and my pictures turned out great - not a single shot where someone ruined it by using their cell phone. Of course, I did get great pictures from my guests who took photos of each other and their reactions when I started walking down the aisle since the photographers were busy focusing on me and DH. Hell, one of our guests even surprised us by shooing video at our wedding! It was a lovely gesture since DH and I opted to allocate our limited funds towards the open bar instead of a videographer.

NowIamMrsKlein

Our officiant is pretty strict about people other than the photographer taking pictures during the ceremony. She has a quick blurb that she says at the beginning of it, and we edited it ourselves to make it a little less 'telling people what to do'

We had mixed feelings about it, we felt it was rude to tell our guests what to do, but we also really liked everything else about our officiant so it wasnt a hill we were willing to die on. And at the same time I have two aunts that go a little crazy with the photographs, actually getting out of the seats and moving around as if they were the professional shooters. I myself have no problem with people snapping a quick picture from their seat, but after witnessing my aunts get up and crouch down on the floor in the middle of the aisle in order to get a shot at my sisters wedding and her photographer actually having to try and step over her to get the shot that was being paid for....Maybe my officiant is on to something.

[Deleted User]

lovesclimbing said:

If someone is texting or checking Instagram or FB during the wedding, you probably won't be able to tell because the phone will be in their lap and below the level of all the other heads and chairs. As for calling, I cannot believe that there is anyone in the world rude enough to take or make a call in the middle of the wedding. I don't think that will happen.

I thinks somewhere out there is a video of a BRIDE whipping her phone out of her dress and taking a call AT THE ALTER... 

Okay, not a call, but maybe and email or text... Here's the video:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/CDVQvme5tb0

lyndausvi

MyNameIsNot

lovesclimbing said:

If someone is texting or checking Instagram or FB during the wedding, you probably won't be able to tell because the phone will be in their lap and below the level of all the other heads and chairs. As for calling, I cannot believe that there is anyone in the world rude enough to take or make a call in the middle of the wedding. I don't think that will happen.

This happened to a friend of mine. His father's phone rang during the ceremony. He stood up and walked away (outdoor ceremony), but we all heard him take the call. The officiant stopped what he was saying to wait for the FOG to finish up and sit down. It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen.

No amount of signs or notes in programs would have prevented this. Someone who is going to be rude with their phone is not going to listen to a note. 

Maggie0829

MyNameIsNot said:

lovesclimbing said:

If someone is texting or checking Instagram or FB during the wedding, you probably won't be able to tell because the phone will be in their lap and below the level of all the other heads and chairs. As for calling, I cannot believe that there is anyone in the world rude enough to take or make a call in the middle of the wedding. I don't think that will happen.

This happened to a friend of mine. His father's phone rang during the ceremony. He stood up and walked away (outdoor ceremony), but we all heard him take the call. The officiant stopped what he was saying to wait for the FOG to finish up and sit down. It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen.

No amount of signs or notes in programs would have prevented this. Someone who is going to be rude with their phone is not going to listen to a note. 

One would wonder what is so important that the FOG had to take a phone call in the middle of his son's wedding.

lyndausvi

MyNameIsNot said:

lovesclimbing said:

If someone is texting or checking Instagram or FB during the wedding, you probably won't be able to tell because the phone will be in their lap and below the level of all the other heads and chairs. As for calling, I cannot believe that there is anyone in the world rude enough to take or make a call in the middle of the wedding. I don't think that will happen.

This happened to a friend of mine. His father's phone rang during the ceremony. He stood up and walked away (outdoor ceremony), but we all heard him take the call. The officiant stopped what he was saying to wait for the FOG to finish up and sit down. It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen.

No amount of signs or notes in programs would have prevented this. Someone who is going to be rude with their phone is not going to listen to a note. 

WTF?  There are actually very few calls that need immediate attention. It seems like the term emergency extends to everything.      Besides, you are the FOB FOG, in theory and assuming you have normal relationship with your family everyone really important is there with you.   So what is so damn important you have to take a phone call in the middle of a ceremony?

photokitty

Maggie0829 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

lovesclimbing said:

If someone is texting or checking Instagram or FB during the wedding, you probably won't be able to tell because the phone will be in their lap and below the level of all the other heads and chairs. As for calling, I cannot believe that there is anyone in the world rude enough to take or make a call in the middle of the wedding. I don't think that will happen.

This happened to a friend of mine. His father's phone rang during the ceremony. He stood up and walked away (outdoor ceremony), but we all heard him take the call. The officiant stopped what he was saying to wait for the FOG to finish up and sit down. It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen.

No amount of signs or notes in programs would have prevented this. Someone who is going to be rude with their phone is not going to listen to a note. 

One would wonder what is so important that the FOG had to take a phone call in the middle of his son's wedding.

The president wanted to confer with him on an act of war?

MOG went into labor?

The baker needed directions or no cake???

MyNameIsNot

Maggie0829 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

lovesclimbing said:

If someone is texting or checking Instagram or FB during the wedding, you probably won't be able to tell because the phone will be in their lap and below the level of all the other heads and chairs. As for calling, I cannot believe that there is anyone in the world rude enough to take or make a call in the middle of the wedding. I don't think that will happen.

This happened to a friend of mine. His father's phone rang during the ceremony. He stood up and walked away (outdoor ceremony), but we all heard him take the call. The officiant stopped what he was saying to wait for the FOG to finish up and sit down. It was the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen.

No amount of signs or notes in programs would have prevented this. Someone who is going to be rude with their phone is not going to listen to a note. 

One would wonder what is so important that the FOG had to take a phone call in the middle of his son's wedding.

I don't know who it was, but considering he is usually unemployed, I doubt it was a matter of national security. 

If I remember correctly, he was pretty drunk by that point. Dude was never a contender for father of the year. 

[Deleted User]

The only time it's rude is when a phone rings in the middle of the ceremony.  You could ask your officiant to make an announcement asking people to please silence their phones during the ceremony.   Other than that, I'm not going to police people during the ceremony.   If you want to sit on your phone all night, that's fine.  I'll be dancing and having fun. 

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and everyone was taking pictures, posting them to Facebook and email/texting each other group pictures of the evening.   It didn't take away from the wedding and people were still eating, dancing, drinking and having fun.

You can't control adult's actions, and that includes cellphone use.   Don't forget people might check their phones often if they have a baby sitter or elderly relatives.  Some people are on call with their jobs and have to check their messages.    If you've ever dealt with little kids, you'd know they don't like sitting still for very long.  Would you rather have an antsy toddler or a toddler playing quietly on an IPad or phone?