Bridesmaid gifts - To "robe" or not to "robe"?

climbingsingle

No to robes. Seriously. 

lembaslover

If some of your bridesmaids already have them skip them. I'm probably in the minority of people who would like a robe (assuming it doesn't say bridesmaid on it) but if I was already given one like that then I have no use for another so save your money. I feel like the robe pictures trend is kind of old by now anyways.

MyNameIsNot

Knottie62309116 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

Knottie62309116 said:

So, I'm contemplating bridesmaid gifts, and of course, I DO have a budget. I'm paying for their hair and putting down the deposit on their makeup, but I definitely do not want them to think that is their "gift" from me. Good, because it isn't one. 

I really want to get them some really nice Kendra Scott earrings. (They are very popular right now, and I know them well enough to know they would all love them)... Something they would wear to the wedding, That's not a gift either. but something they could wear over and over. I was also going to get my MOH a matching bracelet or necklace. 

Part of me wants to get them monogrammed robes too. Still not a gift. It's the "in" thing to have the pictures in the robes, and I actually love a robe of mine that I got as a bridesmaid gift. However, I have a few bridesmaids who have already received more than one of those from other weddings, and they are also really expensive. 

So, basically, I'm trying to decide if I want to ditch the trendy robes so that I have the budget to get something else along with their jewelry. Have any of you given robes? Did you love it/regret it/not care much about it? Were those pictures adorable or could be done without? Did you bridesmaids like them? Do they use them?

I just want some opinions! And please, no "dressing your wedding party is not an appropriate gift" comments. I'm doing other things for my BMs. I just want an opinion on the robe issue. 

Don't get the robe. 

Spend the rest of your money on a gift that is actually for them, not for you. The things you've mentioned are wedding props. A gift is supposed to be about the recipient, not the giver.  

FWIW, I wouldn't be caught dead in a BM robe. But I would be seriously hurt if you thought so little of me that you couldn't be bothered to get me a real gift. 

Yes, you are right. That was honesty. But going through and editing my post with: "Good, because it isn't a gift... That's not one either... Still not a gift"? That, to me, was not just giving your opinion. It's purpose was to make me feel stupid. And, despite what you think, it was condescending,

I asked about the robes. You gave you opinion on them in your last sentence after bashing every single thing I said. However, I thank you for that opinion. I will not be getting robes.

I'm responding to your posts. It's pretty common to quote and respond within a post when responding to a very long question. 

I was not mean to you. You asked for honest opinions, and you got them. I did not bash anything. If you are so sensitive that this really bothers you, the internet is probably not for you. 

drunkenwitch

I need more wine after this.

lildropofsunshine

I like the idea of robes, tbh. I guess I'm in the minority, but I think it's cute and sweet along with other gifts.

mrscomposer

Knottie62309116 said:

 

I just don't understand why people have to associate being rude with giving an opinion, but if that makes you happy, by all means. I'm new to the boards (if that's not obvious) and I did not anticipate people completely reading over where I stated that I had other things planned for my bridesmaids. This is a question about a specific thing. But good lord, when someone reads matching, it makes it okay to talk to me as if I'm some airhead who does not think of my bridesmaids as human beings. My friends and I share Christmas and birthdays together, and we give very personal and meaningful gifts. Do you know how many of their weddings I've been in? A lot. Do you know how many times I've received a robe or jewelry or whatever that matched everyone else? Every single time. Do you know how many other bridesmaids I've heard say: "Wow, I'm so hurt. Does she not know me at all? Does she seriously think that we are all the same person?" Not a single freakin' one. Because we don't take a wedding gift as a personal offense. We don't have our panties in a wad over it. We take our gift, we smile, and we remember who the day is about. Okay, I'm just going to burrow in here for a second, because this is what stood out to me.  After all of those weddings with all of those jewellery sets and all of those matching gifts - do you not want to be THE ONE PERSON who acknowledges your friends as individuals?  Just because everyone else does it doesn't mean it needs to keep being done.  Even your own language is suspect: "We take our gift, we smile, and we remember who the day is about".  That means, to me, that there is an undertone of 'oh, another group gift' - and there doesn't need to be.  After all, that's why we were bridesmaids. Because we loved our friend (the bride) so much. Not because we thought we would get repaid with a personal gift. I've never once thought: "Out of all the things she's doing, and of all the money she is spending, out of all the people she has to worry about... I better get that damn book that she knows I want, because I'm the "reader" and she knows that. 

I guess my set of friends are different. We are some chill bitches. You give us a necklace, we take it. You give us wine, we drink it. Etc.

But I will end this how I've ended all of my replies: Thank you for your opinion on the robes. I will not be using them! I do believe that they are a silly trend the more I think about it.

ETA to fix boxes.  Maybe.

yogapants

I'm glad you decided against the robes, OP. I got one for the wedding I was in last month and I wish she hadn't wasted her money. It's a short, silk robe, so no way I'd be comfortable wearing that around people even if I was a robe person (I'm not - see the username for my lounging preferences). The robe she gave me was too big for me, which she knew but she bought it anyway because they didn't have a smaller size.

JerseyBeachGal22

I personally love Kendra Scott's jewelry. Maybe pick out a different piece for each BM, especially using the color bar so it's more unique!

debbeau

I never heard of Kendra Scott before and had to look it up. What cool unique jewelry.

banana468

Kendra Scott jewelry looks like the new Lia Sophia - and that's not necessarily bad but it looks like it's gong to be inflated in price because there's always a gimmick. 

randomslove

AddieCake said:

Robes. Ugh. You should get them all matching bridesmaid tattoos. It would be a fun bonding experience for them, you'd get WAY cuter pics than the robes, AND they would remember your wedding for the rest of their LIVES! And it's totes unique and you could be the one to POST on Pinterest instead of just getting ideas there. Squueeeee!

Not trying to thread jack here but I read this and laughed. Then I thought about the fact that my little sister/MON has been begging me to design matching tats for us for years and though, hmmmm... that might be a good gift for her. Of course, the tattoo itself would not be wedding related, just the fact that I would pay for hers. And the other two BMs would get something equally fitting them.

MobKaz

mrscomposer said:

Knottie62309116 said:

 

I just don't understand why people have to associate being rude with giving an opinion, but if that makes you happy, by all means. I'm new to the boards (if that's not obvious) and I did not anticipate people completely reading over where I stated that I had other things planned for my bridesmaids. This is a question about a specific thing. But good lord, when someone reads matching, it makes it okay to talk to me as if I'm some airhead who does not think of my bridesmaids as human beings. My friends and I share Christmas and birthdays together, and we give very personal and meaningful gifts. Do you know how many of their weddings I've been in? A lot. Do you know how many times I've received a robe or jewelry or whatever that matched everyone else? Every single time. Do you know how many other bridesmaids I've heard say: "Wow, I'm so hurt. Does she not know me at all? Does she seriously think that we are all the same person?" Not a single freakin' one. Because we don't take a wedding gift as a personal offense. We don't have our panties in a wad over it. We take our gift, we smile, and we remember who the day is about. Okay, I'm just going to burrow in here for a second, because this is what stood out to me.  After all of those weddings with all of those jewellery sets and all of those matching gifts - do you not want to be THE ONE PERSON who acknowledges your friends as individuals?  Just because everyone else does it doesn't mean it needs to keep being done.  Even your own language is suspect: "We take our gift, we smile, and we remember who the day is about".  That means, to me, that there is an undertone of 'oh, another group gift' - and there doesn't need to be.  After all, that's why we were bridesmaids. Because we loved our friend (the bride) so much. Not because we thought we would get repaid with a personal gift. I've never once thought: "Out of all the things she's doing, and of all the money she is spending, out of all the people she has to worry about... I better get that damn book that she knows I want, because I'm the "reader" and she knows that. 

I guess my set of friends are different. We are some chill bitches. You give us a necklace, we take it. You give us wine, we drink it. Etc.

But I will end this how I've ended all of my replies: Thank you for your opinion on the robes. I will not be using them! I do believe that they are a silly trend the more I think about it.

ETA to fix boxes.  Maybe.

I really appreciate this response, Knottie62309116, I would add this thought.  If you have received a robe EVERY SINGLE TIME you have been a BM, it begs the question, "How many robes do you need?"  The idea of a robe as a gift has clearly been saturated.  Once someone receives multiple items, whether they actually like the item or not,  it becomes moot.  A 4th, 5th, or 10th robe is unnecessary. 

thisismynickname2

Going along with the tired group gift idea, a sorority sister of mine did white collared shirts, not robes. The shirts appear to be monogrammed with each girl's first name and our letters on the cuff. It made for one cute picture (now her cover photo on Facebook), but these girls are pushing 30. I'm snarking that they're still wearing letters at age 30 and wondering how much the bride paid to ruin perfectly nice white shirts.

Why can't gifts just be useful/enjoyable to the recipient? Sigh.  (FWIW I think the Kendra Scott earrings are cute, and as a group gift a decent idea provided they're not identical. Blue for me, pink for my bff, etc.)

 

MGP

For all the brides that say "this is just for us getting ready no one will see it" let me tell you about something that showed up on my news feed today:

FB friend was in a wedding. "Getting ready" pics were posted by the photographer and he tagged everyone in the picture, so I am guessing thousands of people have access to view this. Bride was in a long white robe. Other girls were in VERY short flowered silk robes. They were all sitting on the couch opening their gifts (which I would bet were matching as well).

What's the big deal you ask? Well think about how your bare thighs and calves look like when they are smushed when you sit on a couch. Now think about how you would feel if that was publicly shared without your consent.

Digital is forever people. No robes.

onefootinthebayou

MGP said:

For all the brides that say "this is just for us getting ready no one will see it" let me tell you about something that showed up on my news feed today:

FB friend was in a wedding. "Getting ready" pics were posted by the photographer and he tagged everyone in the picture, so I am guessing thousands of people have access to view this.

Bride was in a long white robe. Other girls were in VERY short flowered silk robes. They were all sitting on the couch opening their gifts (which I would bet were matching as well).

What's the big deal you ask? Well think about how your bare thighs and calves look like when they are smushed when you sit on a couch. Now think about how you would feel if that was publicly shared without your consent.

Digital is forever people.

No robes.

Yep, saw some bridal robe pix on the Face today myself. While they weren't revealing, the look was played. Even if it was sewn shut & shot from the waist up, I wouldn't want me in a robe on Facebook.