Who buys the wedding bands?

ThatGilmoreGirl

I have herd the groom buys the brides and bride buys the grooms? But do you really have to do it that way. My groom didn't even pick out my engagement ring. We were "just looking" and I picked one that I loved and two weeks later he proposed! I really had no idea though because I always want to go look at rings? Lol anyways.... Me and my mom are doing some wedding shopping over the weekend and would it be terrible just to pick out the bands I want to get and buy them without the groom. He's not picky and will wear whatever. The whole wedding planning he has always said it's up to you, whatever you want. So I don't think he will have a problem with it.

AddieCake

It doesn't matter. It's not like anybody other than the couple will know who bought which rings.

Maggie0829

ThatGilmoreGirl said:

I have herd the groom buys the brides and bride buys the grooms? But do you really have to do it that way. My groom didn't even pick out my engagement ring. We were "just looking" and I picked one that I loved and two weeks later he proposed! I really had no idea though because I always want to go look at rings? Lol anyways.... Me and my mom are doing some wedding shopping over the weekend and would it be terrible just to pick out the bands I want to get and buy them without the groom. He's not picky and will wear whatever. The whole wedding planning he has always said it's up to you, whatever you want. So I don't think he will have a problem with it.

Personally I think this is something you should do with your FI.  Yeah he may not be picky about most things, but don't you think he should have a say in a band that he is planning on wearing for the rest of his life?

ThatGilmoreGirl

Okay awesome!

beachyone15

I would involve him since it will be something he is going to wear presumably everyday.

ThatGilmoreGirl

What if he doesn't want to wear it everyday though? (This is a conversation we are still having. He is not a jewelry person and thinks he won't like the feel of it on his hand)

beachyone15

All the more reason he should be involved then. Rings all feel differently and it sounds like he should try them on to see what he likes/feels right.

marie2785

FI and I went together, picked them out together, and I paid. FI ended up having pretty strong feelings about the band he is going to wear, so I'm glad he was there in person! 

At the end of the day, it's all about to be the same pot of money, and I had the room in my bank account to cover it, so I paid without griping.

Maggie0829

ThatGilmoreGirl said:

What if he doesn't want to wear it everyday though? (This is a conversation we are still having. He is not a jewelry person and thinks he won't like the feel of it on his hand)

What beachyone said.  He should find one that he likes and is comfortable wearing when he does decide to wear one.

Another option would be to not get him a ring at all.  A ring isn't necessary.  So if he doesn't want to wear one then he doesn't have to.

AddieCake

I agree he should pick his own out. I thought you were asking if it matters who pays for it.

hellohkb

FH has been looking and he will pick his out. I will buy it for him.

ThatGilmoreGirl

Well who should pay for it and if he should be there. But that does make since for him to try a bunch on.

Maggie0829

As for who should pay for the rings, that is a decision between you and your FI.  

[Deleted User]

I bought both. I was at the mall with my mom and sister one night and decided what the heck, why not go see what type of band would look good with my e-ring. The band I picked was part of their "estate" section so it wasn't like it could be ordered for me at a later time. I sent a pick of it to my then FI and said, I like this ring, is it ok if I get it. Text back, sure, it's beautiful. When we found his ring, he didn't have the extra cash at the time but I did, so I just paid for it. To us it didn't make a difference who paid for what, just that we both had rings we liked (they didn't match each other either). But I do have to say the thing I loved, he traded in his wedding band from his first marriage for credit to help pay for my e-ring. I hated that he still had that ring around.

NowIamMrsKlein

I definitely think FI should be involved in looking for rings, especially if he is not a big jewelry wearer. It would give him the opportunity to try some on and find a style that is comfortable.

as for paying for it, thats up to you and your FI and how you deal with finances. While FI and my's money is separate, we consider all our money 'OUR' money. So we went shopping together, chose our rings, put it on my credit card to get points and then I immediately paid it off from our wedding savings account.

mrscomposer

Since J picked out my ring, he wanted me to pick out his.  But, like he did with mine, I went by the guidelines and preferences he gave me.  I don't have a wedding band, so it was just the one other ring that needed to be purchased.  I also bought it, since I was the one picking it out and I was right there, right then.

southernbelle0915

As far as payment, you just work it out however it works for y'all. 

As far as picking it out, that's a personal too. I took DH shopping and let him pick out the one he wanted.

snakeylady

Fiance and I looked at rings together and each selected what we liked best. (I'm glad he didn't pick mine out without me because what I liked the most didn't come from the wedding display for either my engagement ring or my wedding band.) Then he purchased mine and I purchased his. We discussed who would pay for what and decided on this split because his ring is less expensive and I paid for the plane tickets for our honeymoon.

beautyofdreams

My fiance and I bought ours together. I wanted him to pick out what he wanted and vice versa. I did pay for the one he picked out and he paid for mine. 

lembaslover

I bought my fiance's wedding band and he bought mine but it honestly didn't matter too much. Part of me wishes I had bought mine since I would have sprung for the one with diamonds on it rather than the plain band. I just didn't feel comfortable asking him to even though he said he would get whichever I preferred since he had just bought my engagement ring. In the end it doesn't really matter the plain one looks nice and kind of makes my engagement ring stand out more. 

My fiance totally picked out a different ring than I would have picked for him so it's a good thing he was there. 

[Deleted User]

DH and I picked out our wedding bands together because we were paying for them out of our joint account.  All of our wedding expenses came from the money we share together. 

climbingsingle

We picked out our wedding bands together and paid for them out of our joint checking account. 

emmaaa

climbingwife said:

We picked out our wedding bands together and paid for them out of our joint checking account. 

This is what we did as well.

Cookie Pusher

DH went and picked out our bands together and I paid. Of course, in the end it doesn't really matter since we're married and technically it's all "our" money in the end.

AmandaKess

It really doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure these days most couples do it together.

[Deleted User]

I took FH shopping for his, let him pick out the band he was most comfortable with (so glad I did!!!), and then came back over the weekend to purchase it because the jeweler explained that it was due to go on sale in a few days.  He bought mine a month or two later...it was harder to find a band that complimented the engagement ring he picked. 

augsum15

FI and I saved up together and went ring shopping together. We were both really specific about what we each wanted, and wanted to make sure we like our own rings and each-others. As some girls have mentioned as well, FI was REALLY picky about what he wanted. And you do want to make sure you're comfortable with the ring you're wearing. So go together it's fun!

luckya23

Back last fall, I dragged DH to a wedding show, and a jeweler there had a display of men's rings.  He liked a tungsten ring with the carbon fiber inlay, so a little later on, I found that same ring for $400 cheaper on amazon, and bought it, along with a blue version so he could wear it as his engagement ring. 

I guess around February he saw a plain white gold band in Sam's Club.  He admitted then that he wasn't as crazy about the tungsten after wearing it for a while.  He thought it was heavy and clunky.

A month or so after that, I was going crazy shopping for my wedding band, and I saw a similar one to the white gold band at a local jeweler for a big discount.  I went ahead and bought it without him, and that's his wedding band.

So I bought both rings without him, but with his input.  I bought my own wedding band after a LOT of shopping around.  He thinks I should have gotten the band that matches my e-ring.

AlliJon2016

We shopped for our wedding bands together, and determined a portion of our wedding budget to cover them. (For now, inexpensive bands are just fine with us.) While I wanted his to at least in SOME way "go" with mine, it was ultimately up to him to decide what HE liked... and same with me, of course. We're both happy with the decision. Interestingly, his actually cost $87 while mine was only $42! Go figure. :-)