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Customs and Traditions

First Look vs Aisle Unveiling?

Are you/Did you do a "first look" or did you wait to walk down the aisle before your husband saw/will see you?

and why.

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Re: First Look vs Aisle Unveiling?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    We waited to see each other until the moment I started walking down the aisle.  I just wanted that moment.

    But afterwards I kind of wish we had done a first look.  We still would have had that moment and I think it would have helped his nerves and me to kind of come down a bit from the clouds I was on so that I could be more in the moment during the ceremony.

    Regardless of what you decide there is no wrong choice.

  • snakeyladysnakeylady member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited July 2015
    We are going to do a first look.

    We'll be able to get photos done before the ceremony with each other and with the wedding party. Then we'll just have family photos to do during the cocktail hour.

    Also, I'm a crier and I have anxiety. I'm hoping that seeing Fiance earlier will help me from becoming completely overwhelmed during the ceremony.

    EDIT: Oh! And also it makes our transportation plans easier. We have a bus driving the whole wedding party up to the venue. If we were arriving separately, we'd need at least two vehicles.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We did a first look, and I'm glad we did. It was a really awesome moment we got to have together. And it left time for pictures with our bridal party before the ceremony. 

  • mrscomposermrscomposer Mani-snow-ba member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer

    We did both?  We went to the church early and did our first look with me walking down the aisle :)

    We wanted to do a first look 1) so that we could get pictures done and 2) so that it would be just for us.  We're both fairly introverted, and we felt that the first time we saw each other on our wedding day was a private moment.  Plus our photographer got some gorgeous shots of his arms around me while I was wiping away his tears.  Wouldn't have gotten that the other way.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
    pennydlspockforprezcollegechic
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Yes, the coordinator for the venue advised we do pictures beforehand.  There are no breaks between ceremony, cocktail hour and the reception.   I prefer to do a first look too.  I didn't even really think about it until our photographer asked. I said pictures beforehand because of time.  That's when he used the term "First Look" which i knew nothing about!  But I also didn't even think about it before it was asked of me.  Both the coordinator and photographer said it's more and more common now.  I searched alot of older boards with this topic, but wanted to start it up again to take a "poll" so to speak.

  • Not that pictures are the most important thing, but I love first look pictures, they are so gorgeous. Also, getting pictures done early, you can join the cocktail hour faster and get the food!
    lc07
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We didn't see each other until the aisle, but I wish we'd done a first look. We got married at a cathedral with a very long aisle, so we couldn't see the expression on each other's faces when we first saw each other. 

    Also, I wish we'd have been able to get all our pictures done before the ceremony. We had some intermittent rain that afternoon, so all of our together pictures were rushed in between showers. If we'd done the first look, we would have been able to take our time. 
  • We did a first look and it was amazing. I love the pictures we got during it, but mostly I cherish the memories and time we got to spend together. It was some of the only time we had alone all day and it was wonderful.

    Doing the first look meant we got to do all our pictures before the ceremony with the bridal party and families. We also got to spend the half hour or 45 minutes between photos and the ceremony with our bridal party in our suite just hanging out which was awesome.

    Walking down the aisle and seeing each other in that moment was amazing. Nothing was taken away by doing a first look, we just gained something incredible.
    kimmiinthemittenhuskypuppy14
  • vmj23vmj23 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its 5 Answers

    We waited.   we were getting ready at separate locations and had a church wedding.  I planned on doing out photos at the reception site, which wouldn't have made sense to go to and do photo's ahead of time.  We had plenty of time during the cocktail hour to do the photos.   Had we not had a church wedding, I may have considered a first look, but I'm glad we waited,   I love the picture of him standing at the alter looking at me for the first time.  

  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We did the aisle.  We're pretty traditional and neither of us wanted to see the there before hand.  We did breakfast that morning and then got ready in different rooms.  I'm so glad we waited.  I'm sure the first look photos would have looked great too, but I have a fantastic photo of DH when I first got to the end of the aisle.  It's one of my favourite photos
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  • We're planning a first-look. We want to get most of the photos out of the way before the ceremony, and I'd just as soon have that moment be private so I can finish ugly-crying and fix my makeup before our guests arrive.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We're planning to wait until I walk down the aisle. There have been very few things FI REALLY wanted. They were me taking his name (I wanted to anyway), not seeing my dress (he won't even let me tell him what my sister's dress looks like, because then he'll know what mine doesn't look like...), and not doing a first look. I think he just really wants the surprise and all the emotion that comes with that moment, and I think I really do, too.

    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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    Knottie67868874japrincess24
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    DH and I did a first look. We were very thankful we did because it helped with our nerves a little bit. We spent the night apart and that whole morning, all I wanted to do was see him. We did the first look around 1:00 for our 5:00 wedding so it was nice getting most of the pictures done and being able to hang out until the wedding. I remember our first look but I hardly remember walking down the aisle because I was so excited/nervous. 

    Also, if hadn't have seen each other beforehand we would have never realized we forgot our marriage license in our car (45 minutes away) and DH's uncle wouldn't have had time to get it for us.

    There really is no wrong way to do this. I like the PP's idea of the first look being walking down the aisle, best of both worlds.

  • We did a first look, but having that moment that's just us (and a photographer), on the patio over looking the ocean was something I was really looking forward too. I also figured I'd get a truer reaction if it was a private moment then in front of everyone. And it was perfect. Wouldn't have changed it for anything. Walking up the aisle, we were just happy and excited with huge grins. :)

    Plus, knocking out most of the photos before the wedding allowed us more time at the venue and to spend time with our guests.

    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    We intended a first look, but since we got married at 10:30, we would have had to be up and ready way too early to make that happen. My husband was glad it didn't work out b/c he really liked seeing me at the ceremony first. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    My husband really did not want a first look, so we didn't. It was one of the very few things he had an opinion on. We had a small cocktail style reception so we did family pictures after the ceremony and H and I sneaked out and took pictures around the restaurant for about 10 minutes while everyone was eating.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • I want to do a first look but FI has strong opinions about it (strangely the only opinion he has had other than booze) and does not want to see me until the ceremony. If that is his one thing I will do it, I just hate the idea of being rushed between the ceremony and reception and it cuts down on the amount of time we get to be together on our wedding day! 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I want to do a first look but FI has strong opinions about it (strangely the only opinion he has had other than booze) and does not want to see me until the ceremony. If that is his one thing I will do it, I just hate the idea of being rushed between the ceremony and reception and it cuts down on the amount of time we get to be together on our wedding day! 
    If you have a good photographer you will not feel rushed.  And after about 45 minutes of taking pictures I was over it and just ready to party.  I honestly could not imagine having to get ready earlier then was necessary to take multiple hours of pictures, especially when you never really look at them after about the first 6 months

    ILoveBeachMusic
  • I want to do a first look but FI has strong opinions about it (strangely the only opinion he has had other than booze) and does not want to see me until the ceremony. If that is his one thing I will do it, I just hate the idea of being rushed between the ceremony and reception and it cuts down on the amount of time we get to be together on our wedding day! 
    If you have a good photographer you will not feel rushed.  And after about 45 minutes of taking pictures I was over it and just ready to party.  I honestly could not imagine having to get ready earlier then was necessary to take multiple hours of pictures, especially when you never really look at them after about the first 6 months
    Oh yeah, no need for hours.. but even that 45 minutes just seems like a waste to me when I could be enjoying a glass of wine and mingling with everyone at cocktail hour! My other issue with it is that we are getting married in January, middle of winter, and by the time the ceremony is over there will be no light. Like I said, I would have preferred one but FI really doesn't want to do it so we most likely won't and I'm sure the day will be fabulous.

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  • No first look for us.

    I wanted to do one because I wanted to mingle with people at cocktail hour instead of take a bunch of pictures, but DH wanted to wait to see me in my dress. He said he "wanted that moment". The guy didn't ask for a whole lot with respect to planning, so we waived the first look.
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    lovemesomemonster
  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    FI is adamant about waiting until the aisle. The one thing he's super traditional about. We aren't spending the night before apart so we will spend a bit of the morning together before getting ready separately. We have a decent amount of time between the ceremony and reception (don't worry, its hosted) so we won't feel to rushed during pictures.
    image
  • My H was SUPER nervous and he knew he was going to be, so he specifically said he wanted to see me before the ceremony to help settle his nerves. So we did the first look and H didn't pass out at the alter. WIN, WIN!
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We did a first look. We had a cake and punch reception, so there would be no cocktail hour to take photos. It was not convenient to take photos later.

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Another fan of the first look! I love the creativity that can go into first look photos. I also like that you get both reactions in one frame. 

    Everything was in the same location for us, so I loved doing all the photos early and then going straight to cocktail hour with my guests after the ceremony. 
    ________________________________


  • Are "First Look" and "Aisle Unveiling" my only options?  What if I just want to get ready just like any other day and ask FH to zip me up?  Does it have to be this big todo?  Discuss.
    MyNameIsNot
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    adk19 said:

    Are "First Look" and "Aisle Unveiling" my only options?  What if I just want to get ready just like any other day and ask FH to zip me up?  Does it have to be this big todo?  Discuss.

    I think skipping the "first look" and "no viewing until you walk down the aisle" is a valid option.
  • mrscomposermrscomposer Mani-snow-ba member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    adk19 said:
    Are "First Look" and "Aisle Unveiling" my only options?  What if I just want to get ready just like any other day and ask FH to zip me up?  Does it have to be this big todo?  Discuss.


    Commercialism, duuuude.  Gone are the days where couples would just get married after church, where women would just wear their Sunday best and call it their wedding dress, where a ceremony was as elaborate as two couples and their parents standing in the pastor's sitting room.

    Did I subscribe to the circus?  Absolutely I did.  I wanted it all, so our first look was with me walking down the aisle towards J in an empty sanctuary, with the song he proposed to playing in the background.  But we did that because we decided it was a private moment - that we were about to bind our entire lives together so we just wanted to ground ourselves in that and move forward together.

    I think a lot of collective anxiety would be assuaged if people knew they were allowed to treat it as just another day.  Put on your favourite dress, grab your favourite person by the hand, and start walking together.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
    [Deleted User]
  • To add: It didn't make the day any less special.  It actually made the day far more relaxed and enjoyable because the pre wedding was so much more laid back.  Yes, I did my own hair and makeup, but even if you hire someone, I would still think it would be easier to do it in your own room without all the other women.  We ate breakfast together in our room and slowly showered and primped.  It was completely stress-free.  
    mrscomposer[Deleted User]
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