Toast to the bride?

Knottie56113986

So this is something my parents and I have been clashing about since day one of wedding planning. They insist that during the toasts at the reception someone, ie a family member who has known the bride all her life is supposed to give a toast just to her. I didn't think this was too weird until they insisted that I needed to ask them myself and immediately decided my uncle would be the best fit.  I think it it really weird to personally ask someone to give a toast just to me (it would be different if it was for the both of us) and it is something I definitely feel uncomfortable doing. I'm wondering if this is actually a thing because no one in my soon-to-be in law family knew what I was talking about nor can I find any information online about a "toast to the bride."

I also am thinking of asking this uncle to video our ceremony because he loves recording everything anyways and would probably rather do that over sitting still the whole time (no final decision has been made and I'm already aware of what entails asking a family member to do something) so I feel if I asked him to do both is would be a lot for one person to worry about for someone else's wedding.

Maggie0829

Well I have heard about people speaking primarily about one part of the couple (usually the MOH or BM) over the other, but in the end they usually toast the couple as a whole.  To toast solely the bride just seems very odd.  But you should never ask someone to give you a toast.  If a person wishes to say a few words (and by a few words I mean 30 seconds to a minute tops) then they will let you know.

Jen4948

I would not ask your uncle to videotape your ceremony because it's inappropriate to have a guest "work" your wedding.  If he's going to do that anyway, just let him do it.

But I agree that a toast solely to the bride would seem odd and perhaps awkward.  I would tell your parents that I'd be okay with letting people make toasts, but that the subject of asking anyone for a toast, let alone just to the bride, is a closed one. 

AddieCake

Ditto Maggie. Toasts are given b/c people want to give them, not because they have been specifically asked to do so. 

[Deleted User]

Knottie56113986 said:

So this is something my parents and I have been clashing about since day one of wedding planning. They insist that during the toasts at the reception someone, ie a family member who has known the bride all her life is supposed to give a toast just to her. I didn't think this was too weird until they insisted that I needed to ask them myself and immediately decided my uncle would be the best fit.  I think it it really weird to personally ask someone to give a toast just to me (it would be different if it was for the both of us) and it is something I definitely feel uncomfortable doing. I'm wondering if this is actually a thing because no one in my soon-to-be in law family knew what I was talking about nor can I find any information online about a "toast to the bride."

I also am thinking of asking this uncle to video our ceremony because he loves recording everything anyways and would probably rather do that over sitting still the whole time (no final decision has been made and I'm already aware of what entails asking a family member to do something) so I feel if I asked him to do both is would be a lot for one person to worry about for someone else's wedding.

"Hey Uncle, will you stand up and say a bunch of nice things about me at a party I'm throwing to thank you for witnessing me get married?  Please don't mention my new husband or the reason for the day either.  This is really just about me.  Great."  Yeah, don't do that.

MyNameIsNot

Asking someone to give a toast is weird and rude, whether it's to you individually or to you as a couple. If someone wants to give a toast, they'll offer. You can't just ask someone to get up and say nice things about you. 

I would think it was really bizarre for a guest to give a toast to just the bride at a wedding. Even where you have a MOH or BM giving a toast and talking primarily about their friend, they still toast the couple. 

Knottie56113986

Thank you everybody. I was sure this wasn't a normal thing but now I am absolutely positive it is not. My parents haven't brought it up in a while but now I am more prepared with reasons why I won't be asking my uncle to do a toast if is does get brought up again.